Purdy: Things from sports that I wish were in the WikiLeaks document dump – The Mercury News

(Sports columnist Mark Purdy has challenge himself to write 10 columns in 10 hours on March 10. This is one of those columns.)

All right, so after writing about lots of serious stuff in the preceding columns of 10 x 10 x 10, theres room for a little fun. Isnt there?

Because I know that my readers are sophisticated people with varied interests they have certainly been following the news about WikiLeaks and this weeks document dump.It seems the WikiLeakers (or whatever theyre called) have released thousands more words about how the CIA operates and obtains important information, such as how Charles Barkleys mouth has a high-tech ability to never shut up.

Just kidding. That information was not in the latest document dump. But I wish it were, among other things. Such as? Well, Ive got a long list. If WikiLeaks can find any of this stuff, I promise to send them a donation equal to one-million millionth of Brock Osweilers contract.

Heres the partial list. Please, WikiLeaks. We are relying you to find all this

Sonny Grays previously indestructible latissimi dorsi.

Steph Currys stamina. Hes going to need it over the next three months. And right now, he seems to be dragging.

Matt Cains arm from 2012. If its found, imagine how strong the Giants rotation will be.

College basketball fever in the Bay Area. Sure, it might rise up if St. Marys goes on a NCAA tournament run. But the most consistently ignored best sports action in Northern California can be found in the gyms and arenas in Moraga as well as at Cal, Stanford, USF, Santa Clara and San Jose State. For a change, not one of them has been terrible this season. And there are always good seats available.

Sanity on Twitter.

Joe Thorntons razor.

Brent Burns teeth.

Patrick Marleaus birth certificate. He cant be 37 years old and still skate so fast, can he?

The Raiders secret strategy to make it seem as if they are courting Las Vegas only to turn around and tell Oakland fans: We were just kidding! Were not really leaving! (We can only wish.)

Aldon Smiths common sense.

The report from Bud Seligs Blue Ribbon Panel that was supposed to examine all the elements of the As ballpark situation in Oakland and San Jose but after four years vanished into thin air along with the panel, apparently. Anyone seen those guys lately?

Kyle Shanahans backpack. No wait. He found that. Now he just needs to stuff some talented players onto the roster inside of it. The current free agent signings are a decent start. But the college draft must provide assistance, too.

The end of the bar at Avaya Stadium. (Inside joke: Its an oval bar stretching practically the width of the goal line, which means a tipsy Earthquakes fan could walk an entire circle around it and not fall down if the tipsy fan holds on well enough.)

Draymond Greens chill pills. The temper flashes are okay during the regular season. They cant happen in the playoffs. The Warriors need him for seven games in the finals, not six. As we saw last year.

And, thats right, a Charles Barkley muzzle.

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Purdy: Things from sports that I wish were in the WikiLeaks document dump - The Mercury News