A Journey To Emotional (and Artificial) Intelligence – Forbes

Rana el Kaliouby decodes herself in her latest book, Girl Decoded.

For many entrepreneurs, starting their startup is the most significant thing they do. For Rana el Kaliouby, its one achievement in a series of unpredictable things that this self-described nice Egyptian girl has accomplished in her life.

In her remarkable book Girl Decoded, el Kaliouby shares her inspiring academic and professional journey. Alongside this, it is an intimate meditation about what it took from her personally to accomplish all that she has.

Born in Egypt to conservative Egyptian parents, the family spent several years in Kuwait and eventually fled back to Cairo when Iraq invaded Kuwait. Raised by her parents and grandparents, she ultimately got her Ph.D. from the University of Cambridge, barely pausing while giving birth to her first child. I practically coded my way into the delivery room, she said in her book. From there she was invited to the MIT Media lab to do her post-doc. She started Affectiva, an Emotion AI company, with cofounder Rosalind Picard stemming from their research, in 2009.

I asked her why she wrote the book. It was a journey of self-reflection, she told me. I realized that my own personal story of overcoming the inner voice of doubt and reconciling my culture and who I want to be is a story of inspiration to many people out there.

Her startup Affectiva, where she is now the CEO, creates artificial emotional intelligence (Emotion AI) software that detects nuanced emotions, complex cognitive states, behaviors, activities, and interactions. The technology is used by 25% of the Fortune Global 500 companies and is in 90 countries.

I asked her about her advice for startup leaders and for other pioneers like herself.

Work is important; relationships more so

El Kaliouby said that the mentors she had throughout her life were invaluable in helping push her when she needed it and overcome self-doubt. Her academic advisor Peter Robinson helped her navigate challenging experiences and her mentor at MIT Rosalind Picard became her cofounder of Affectiva.

After the success of her TED talk (which has 1.6 million views) and receiving the 2015 Ingenuity Award from the Smithsonian Institute she spoke to another key mentor who told her directly You need to become the CEO. Initially she couldnt take that in, but he encouraged her to visualize the path she would need to take to get there and see herself as CEO in the minds eye.

You have to find people that you look up to, that you trust, who you can have these really open conversations with, and that you know believe in you, she told me. I had never voiced ever that I wanted to be CEO. But I could with him.

El Kaliouby added that she didnt always understand the importance of relationships. I have a strong work ethic, she said. I always worked really hard and I thought the solution to everything was to just work more. And I realized in the last few years that relationships really matter. Making time to have coffee with this mentor even though he was never going to invest in Affectiva turned out to be so important.

Building those kinds of relationships takes time, so you have to invest in them and cultivate them. Its not always easy to do but it pays off.

Dont be somebody elses idea of a CEO

As she describes in her book, el Kaliouby was raised in a family that stifled emotions. She learned in her family not to complain, and that hard work would solve all problems.

As the cofounder and now CEO of her own company she had to find her own leadership style.

Im very empathetic, she said, and Ive decided to own that as opposed to try to be another Nick (the former CEO). He was the archetype picture of what a CEO is like. I wanted to do it my own way and I let my intuition be my guide.

In this time of the pandemic, el Kaliouby feels even more committed to this leadership style. Her advice to other CEOs is to start with empathy and be flexible. Make extra time to check in on people, she said. I said early on that physical health is important but mental health is just as important, so I asked people to block out time for themselves.

She also used technology to pair people to have coffee breaks together to replicate the organic connections people build at the office. And she uses deadlines to create camaraderie. People want to feel they are productive and doing meaningful work, and so when we take the time to connect everyone they turn around and rally to hit deadlines.

Stand by your core values

Early on el Kaliouby and her cofounder decided on a set of core principles that were important to them. El Kaliouby told me that as CEO she has kept coming back to those values to guide her decisions.

For example, we don't do any work in surveillance and security because that's not in line with our core values of respecting people's privacy. At one point Affectiva had an opportunity to raise about $40 million with the condition that they would sell to surveillance and security companies. It was scary, she said. Literally we didn't know if we were going to make payroll in a couple of months. I was thinking, okay, when do we tell the team? And who could cover if we need to? At the same time, I couldnt reconcile this investment offer with our core values. We had to walk away. But then we hunkered down when we were able to raise money from investors that shared our vision and values and they're still very engaged. It worked out. It was powerful because you see you can do it your way.

Eradicate imposter syndrome

El Kaliouby has dealt with imposter syndrome feelings of being a fraud or that she would fail regularly throughout her career. When she began to see herself as the CEO she had to negotiate with the voice in my head telling me Dont do it Rana. You will fail and bring the company down with you.

When she wrote her book she had a similar critic in her head. I thought that nobody is going to want to read my book or people are going to hate it. I had to say wait a second. People liked it, reviewed it, blurbed it. I have to come up with data points as a rebuttal to my self doubt.

El Kaliouby told me that she thinks this self-doubt is always present because she is always pushing herself outside of her comfort zone. Shes learned to have a dialogue with herself and use her journal to navigate the negative voices in her head and build conviction in her own capability.

Ultimately we all have to decode ourselves, to identify our personal obstacles and overcome them. As el Kaliouby says in her book: The voice in my head was filled with self-doubt. It whispered you cant. you shouldnt. you wont For the longest time I listened to that voice. But the journey that has taken me from nice Egyptian girl to strong woman in charge has been one of finding my own voice.

Everyone who reads this book will be inspired to take on the rewarding journey of finding their own voice.

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A Journey To Emotional (and Artificial) Intelligence - Forbes