How best to make this Anzac Day all about you – SBS

Ah, the spirit of the Anzacs. Lest we forget the men that died in a horrific war so that Australians may get absolutely blind and find every possible way to make the day about ourselves. Im about to continue this proud Australian tradition.

Each year the 25th of April brings new and exciting possibilities for brands, public figures and your mates down at the pub to say and do abhorrently distasteful things. Remember Woolworths bonkers lowering of the bar with last years whole Brandzac Day fiasco? Fresh in our memories. Champagne comedy.

Last year, you may remember the bikini-clad lass on the cover of the late Zoo Magazine (lest we forget) clutching a poppy. This year, the Daily Tele are clutching many, many pearls over advertising for a gay club night disgracing Anzac Day with a sexy bloke in a sailors hat. Theyve also concurrently got an editorial by Peta Credlin lamenting that the Anzacs didnt die for political correctness and us being in danger of overprescribing behaviour. Fascinating.

So make sure to stock up on delicious biscuits, line your stomach to pack it full of cheap piss, and get ready to be an absolute dickhead this Anzac Day. Heres how to best celebrate the loss of lives this April 25th.

If theres one thing the diggers did die for, its so that we may say this isnt what our diggers died for, when we dont like things other people are saying or doing. My granddad didnt die in the bloody war for this bloody politically correct easily offended nonsense society, except I dont want you to say anything offensive or politically incorrect today. Dont say anything offensive about diggers, who apparently died for our right to free speech on all the other days of the year. You know it makes sense.

Youll want all your friends to know you got up super early to be super respectful, so make sure to post a shitload of pictures, captioned with happy Anzac Day!. Dont take a single moment to think about why thats a little distasteful. And dont forget to hashtag it with Less we forget.

Its a public holiday ay, so head down to the local to smash at least 8 beers before 1pm, get into a physical fight with your mates over 2up. What better way to respect the memory of fallen soldiers? This is f**kin Straya. Love it or leave it.

Dont forget, Anzac Day is a sombre time to honour the fallen, appreciate their sacrifices for our country, and also get your social media team to craft some extremely relatable content to be scheduled for posting on the day. Just really milk that public holiday, regardless of what it represents. Clever puns based on the horrific devastation of war are definitely necessary.

Isnt war terrible? Doesnt the loss of life in war just seem so pointless, so cruel? Anyways, back to gross nationalism and mindlessly hating people from different cultures.

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How best to make this Anzac Day all about you - SBS