All those movie Batmen have the impressive costumery and in some cases the cool, bat-based toys and those pricey Batcave living quarters, and sometimes there even are some actual bats hovering aboutbut as far as I can recall, none of em has ever injected himself with actual bat DNA like Dr. Michael Morbius. I mean, talk about a guy who has earned the twisted right to call himself Batman!
But hes not The Batman, hes the titular character of Morbius, a second-tier MCU movie with some interesting performances and a few flashes of inspiration that unfortunately never goes deeper than superficial storytelling and grows increasingly tiresome over the relatively brief running time (1 hour, 48 minutes) before it reaches a predictable, underwhelming conclusion. (Even the two brief mid-credits scenes teasing the further adventures of Morbius are less than stirring.)
Jared Leto, who has never met an accent, a wig, a prosthetic, a dramatic weight loss or a Method role he couldnt sink his teeth into, actually plays it somewhat straightforward and grounded as Michael Morbius, a brilliant scientist who invented an artificial blood that has saved more lives than penicillin, or so were told at a Nobel Prize ceremony. (Distractingly, another character calls it the Noble Prize, not once, but twice, in the next scene.)
Looking like hes been pounding at deaths door since last winter, Michael is suffering from a rare and fatal blood disease, and despite the financial backing of his lifelong friend Milo (Matt Smith), who has the same condition, Michael been unable to come up with a cureand time is running out for the both of them.
Cue the bats! As Michael explains to his longtime associate and potential love interest, Dr. Martine Bancroft (Adria Arjona), certain types of bats are the only creatures that can survive by consuming only blood, so if Morbius injects himself with vampire bat DNA, maybe thatll fix him up real good! (Man, I dont know. Even the likes of Seth Brundle from The Fly and Dr. Norman Osborn aka Green Goblin might think that was a bat-bleep crazy idea.)
With Milos backing, Michael builds a lab on a tanker that will sail international waters off the East Coast (what with this process being illegal and all), with Martine onboard to aid with the experiment and a bunch of armed henchmen along for the ride in case things go awry.
Spoiler alert: Things go awry.
Within moments of receiving the injection, Michael is transformed into a howling, fanged, clawed, bloodthirsty beast who wreaks havoc before jumping off the ship and returning to New York City. (Manchester, Englands, Northern Quarter doubles for New York, but theres never a certain sense of place and time about this film. It seems self-contained and smallish. We never get the sense the good people of New York are truly interconnected with The Vampire Murderer, the lackluster term assigned to Michael by the tabloid press.)
Michaels transformation and subsequent, periodical returns to normal human form seem more wolfman-like than vampiric, as he doesnt have the usual aversion to sunlight, fear of garlic or holy water, etc., etc. For the time being, Michael is able to sustain himself on artificial blood, but the window in which he remains human is tightening, meaning its only a matter of time before hell have to resort to guzzling the real deal.
Ah, but Michaels old friend Milo has no such moral qualms. Against Michaels warnings, Milo has injected himself with the vampire bat DNAand he immediately turns into a killing machine who embraces his role as a super-sucking, super-villain. Dancing about with a hairdo and wardrobe that conjures up images of David Bowie in his Lets Dance period, bellowing statements such as, I am resurrected!, Matt Smith as Milo gives a terrifically over-the-top performancebut theres never any explanation for why Michael would be so conflicted and torn about his transformation, whereas Milo would suddenly turn into a psychopath. He seemed like a really good guy before he, you know, shot up bat DNA.
Morbius friend Milo (Matt Smith) embraces villainy after a transformation of his own.
The great Jared Harris does what he can with an underwritten role as Emil Nikols, the obligatory Kindly Mentor to both Milo and Michael, while Tyrese Gibson and Al Madrigal are stuck playing cynical, bantering NYPD detectives who ask questions straight out of the Law & Order playbook and are always showing up at the scene of the crime and shaking their heads at the carnage.
As for the action sequences: When Michael Morbius flies around the city, he often leaves a smoky trail of blue or orange in wake, like a gender reveal where they ordered the wrong colors, and the big finale is shot in dizzying closeups, edited in headache-inducing fashion and is often murky. It looks like Morbius might soon cross paths with Spider-Man in one universe or another, but that would be a big step up for him, because his introductory vehicle feels more like a just-average 1990s vampire movie.
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