Ted (Comparison: Theatrical Version – Movie-Censorship.com

Compared are the Theatrical Version and the Extended Version (Unrated Version) (both represented by the Universal UK-Blu-ray)

- 23 differences, including 9x alternate footage - difference: 371.9 sec (= 6:12 min)

MacFarlane's voice is an essential part of the success of Family Guy. So it doesn't take a genius to figure out that his voice can't be missing in it and the story of a talking teddy bear does the trick just fine. For Family Guy and American Dad fans, this movie is kind of a reunion because there are many familiar people involved. The narrator of the movie is Patrick Stewart who's playing Stan's boss in American Dad. Then there's Alex Borstein (voice of Lois, Tricia Takanawa and more) as John's mom, Mila "Shut up, Meg!" Kunis as leading actress, Mike Henry (voice of Cleveland, Herbert the Pervert and more) as Southern newscaster, John Viener as Alix, Danny Smith as waiter and Alec Sulkin as screenplay writer. Furthermore, the movie contains loads of popcultural references. There are also many ansurd scenes isolated from the actual storyline. Sound familiar? Well, that's because Family Guy does the exact same thing. Unfortunately, the movie becomes pretty conventional in the end; just like other Hollywood comedies do. But in this case, it's acceptable. The audience has to have thought the same thing because the movie made $500 million worldwide at the box office. With that amazing result, it's the most successful Original R-rated movie ever (Hangover 2 was more successful but that's "just" a sequel). No surprise that a sequel is already in the pipeline.

As expected, the new footage doesn't reinvent the wheel, that's for sure. And there are no scenes that were censored in the Theatrical Version either (like the F-word in the TV Version of Family Guy). Refering to the rampage at Virginia Tech University might be borderline but then again gags like that are on MacFarlane's shows all the time. Probably a highlight is the scene in the beginning when Donny (as a kid) takes notice of Ted for the very first time. Apart from that, the longer version contains some nice gags that enhance the quality of it. Due to the use of alternate footage for some scenes, the Theatrical Version is still worth being watched because some gags from the Theatrical Version have been removed in the process of editing the longer version. Finally, fans don't get around watching both versions anyway.

Time index refers to Theatrical Version Blu-ray / Extended Version Blu-ray

When the kids approach the little ginger (Greenbaum), the scene is longer in the Extended Version; including alternate footage.

The Theatrical Version only shows Greenbaum saying "Oh-oh...".

In the Extended Version, he says that from a different angle while the head of the bullies is approaching. Then the bully says: "It's Jesus' birthday tomorrow and you know what I'm gonna get him?" Greenbaum: "What?" Bully: "My fist in your fucking face?" Greenbaum: "Why would Jesus want that?"

Extended Version 9.3 sec longer

05:12 / 05:22-05:46

Before John enters the kitchen, the Extended Version contains an additional scene with the parents. After some implications, they get straight to the fact that the mom (Helen) gave the dad (Steve) a BJ the previous evening.

Helen: "Well, I think we've had a wonderful Christmas this year." Steve: "One of the best. And I particularly enjoyed the gift you gave me last night." Helen: "Well, my big strong husband works so hard all year. I figured you deserved a little Christmas treat." Steve: "I think those veneers just make it a smoother ride for me." Helen: "Mmm. Well, that's how much I love you." Steve: "Seriously though, that was an outstanding blowjob!"

24.6 sec

06:23 / 06:57-07:08

A further news report, this time from Japan. The female news anchor speaks Japanese before she's getting slapped by the male anchor.

10.9 sec

06:50 / 07:35-08:13

Additional scene. Little Donny is watching the talkshow with Ted which is why he wants a teddy bear in the first place. In the background, his dad is doing some chick, so he just states Donny already got a rake to clean the yard for his birthday.

Donny: "Dad, I want a teddy bear!" Dad: "Hey! What did daddy just get you for your birthday, huh?" Donny: "A rake." Dad: "That's right. An excellent rake. A birthday rake. So when you clean the yard you don't have to pick up the leaves with your hands." Donny: "But, Dad, I want the bear on TV?" Dad: "Donny, shut up, will ya! Daddy's making love to New Mommy." Donny: "But, Daddy..." Dad: "Go to your hammock!" Donny gets up, takes another look at the TV, then he leaves.

38.4 sec

Alternate 13:31-13:32 / 14:54-15:25

The Tom Skerritt dialog is longer. The Extended Version gives Murphy the opportunity to show off with his previleges.

Murphy: "I don't think of him as an actor anymore. He's just, like, a guy. Like, we work... we worked at my garage two months ago. Helped me hang a garage door. You ever hang a garage door with Tom Skerritt?" John: "No..." Murphy: "No! You ever, uh, go miniature golfing with Tom Skerritt's wife and her kid? No. You haven't. Do you ever watch a Bulls game, a Chicago Bulls game, in Chicago with Tom Skerritt? No, you haven't. All right? Liberty, fast track, Skerritt - John."

15:35 / 17:28-17:46

Ted comments John's "So bad, but so good" commentary regarding Flash Gordon with the following words: "Yes, a study in contrast." John replies: "Whoa, whoa, I love this part right here." Now both of them start singing: "He's for every one of us! Stands for everyone of us! He'll save with a mighty hand every man, every woman, every child with a mighty flash!" Ted finally says: "Fuck yeah, Flash!"

17.2 sec

Alternate 18:22-18:25 / 20:32-20:36

A very similar, but still alternate take. In the Extended Version, John expresses himself more direct: "I'm a fucking classy broad."

Extended Version 0.5 sec longer

Alternate 18:40-18:45 / 20:51-21:00

In both versions, John says "I'm taking you to the best place in town." but an alternate take has been used here (recognizable by the arm position). Then he remains still for a moment in the Theatrical Version. The Extended Version on the other hand switches to another shot of him in which he adds: "I've been crapping out room for it for two days. I mean, I know exactly what I'm gonna order." Lori: "You're so disgusting." Then, John's comment "You know I love you" follows. And again, the Extended Version contains an alternate take of his comment.

Extended Version 4.2 sec longer

Alternate 18:55-19:00 / 21:10-21:16

In the Extended Version, the distance shot is a few frames longer. Then an alternate take of John turning around in bed. But he only swears in the Extended Version "Ah, fucking cocksucker motherfucker!" while he's doing so. The Extended Version then just sticks to this shot when Lori addresses him while the Theatrical Version contains footage of from a different with the very same comment of Lori's. Not until its ending, the Theatrical Version goes to the distance shot from the Extended Version.

Extended Version 1 sec longer

21:11 / 23:27-23:31

First a shot of Lori. then Rex who reaches for magnifying glass and says about the photo: "Now, if you look close, you can see the outline of my root."

3.9 sec

Alternate 21:38-21:40 / 23:58-24:13

In the Theatrical Version, Lori says "Goodbye, Rex" from a closer angle. Then she gets up.

25:32 / 28:05-28:15

More dialog. John is being tactless by mentioning the rampage at Virginia Tech University. In the same shot, he adds: "I could have wound up like that Asian kid at Virginia Tech but I didn't because of him. So I'm not that psyched to just, like, kick him out." Lori: "What? It's good to know that a talking teddy bear is the only thing that prevented you from gunning down your classmates."

Subsequently Lori's comment "But you're no longer eight." which ia also in the Theatrical Version.

10.6 sec

Alternate 27:17-27:21 / 30:00-30:09

Ted has an alternate explanation for the excrements on the appartment floor. At first, the Extended Version contains an alternate take, followed by two additional ones.

In the Theatrical Version, Ted says: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, we were playing truth or dare and Cherene's pretty ballsy." In the Extended Version, he says: "Oh, my God! You know what, that's probably what Dierdre was doing over there. Remember she was crouched over in the corner for a really long time? I thought she was just making a phone call or something."

Extended Version 4.2 sec longer

Alternate 27:23-27:28 / 30:11-30:20

After Lori repeated "There is a shit on my floor!", the version continue differently.

In the Theatrical Version, Ted says: "'Or is the floor on the shit?' is what Kierkegaard would say." In the Extended Version, he says: "Yeah, yeah. She's passed out in the bathroom now. She seemed like she was hopped up on something but, you know, mystery solved, I guess, right? She was taking a shit." Lori yells "What the fuck?" one more time.

Extended Version 4.3 sec longer

30:14 / 33:06-33:26

John reacts to the attorney's proposal: "As I said, you would need a law degree for a law school." Ted: "No, no... I'm a special case. I'm a talking teddy bear for Christ's sake. They might make an exception because they'd be all like, 'Oh, my God, this bear's so cool. He can talk and do stuff. Let's give him a job. Maybe he'll give us a few laughs around the office.' And then they're like, 'Oh, my God! He can deliver. He's actually quite a litigator.' And then they'll practically have to give me the Anderson case."

20.5 sec

39:10 / 42:22-43:04

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Ted (Comparison: Theatrical Version - Movie-Censorship.com