What does the Talmud say about Larry David spilling coffee on a Klansmans robe? – Forward

The fact that Judaism has its own vast corpus of legal arguments is of little interest to Larry David hes a law unto himself. But every so often his actions give way to a question of Talmudic precedent.

When, for instance, Larry accidentally spilled coffee on a Klansmans robe on Sundays episode and then promised to have it laundered in time for two upcoming hate rallies in Tucson and Santa Fe, he stumbled onto an area well-trod by commentators and scholars: property law.

Throughout the episode, Larry explains how he feels obligated to pay for this white supremacists dry cleaning, even convincing a Jewish drycleaner to do it, telling him, a la Jesus, that hes deciding to turn the other cheek.

Its a crazy scenario, at home with Davids fearful deployment of a Heil Hitler to an antisemitic German Shepherd. But Jewish law is unambiguous about the first part of the predicament: the spilling, where Larry is clearly at fault.

Halachas pretty clear, said Rabbi Mark Wildes founder of Manhattan Jewish Experience, an attorney and a self-described Curb fanatic. If you are negligent or you intentionally or carelessly damage someone elses property, whether its your ox goring another ox from the Talmud, or your car smashes into someone else or you spill coffee on someone elses clothing, you do have responsibility to make the person whole, which means you need to take the item, get it cleaned, or pay for what that cost is.

But, when Larry noticed the telltale Blood Drop Cross on the robe, that complicates things. Wildes says that if the clothing in question is being used for sinful activity and the Klansman makes that clear pretty quickly the person who damaged it is not responsible for cleaning it. In fact, it may be a problem to do so. You may be facilitating the sin by having the garment cleaned.

Maybe theres an argument to be made about finding coats from other Klansmen and spilling coffee on them, Wildes concluded. That actually might constitute a mitzvah.

Chaim Saiman, the chair of Jewish Law at Villanova University, was less sure that the nature of the garment soiled or the guy holding it changed the basic facts of the damage done.

You probably owe him the amount of dry cleaning, Saiman said, though he acknowledged there are considerations about aiding someone in doing something illicit.

Jewish law might say the fact that this guy is a Klansman probably doesnt excuse you from liability, but it certainly would say dont go out of your way to facilitate the illicit action, Saiman said. But then again, if were going by First Amendment law, the rally is not necessarily illegal. Theres tons of case law about Klansmen on parade.

The fact that David has prompted a pilpul or Yeshiva-style dialectic is only fitting. Saiman once thought to write a treatise on Seinfeld and how its need to codify social norms is Talmudic. (One Talmudic discussion on the Hamotzi blessing, Saiman said, corresponds almost perfectly with an episode where an annoying comedian acquaintance of Jerrys tries to quibble with whether or not soup constitutes a meal.)

Regardless of the correctness of Larrys actions vis a vis the Klansmans dry cleaning, this most recent episode of Curb finds our hapless hero performing accidental mitzvot, albeit unconventionally.

For the first time since his near-death experience in Season 5, Larry begrudgingly attends Rosh Hashanah services the result of a bet over whether the shuls rabbi makes a hole on the golf course.

This visit leads to Larry blowing a shofar in the middle of the night, waking up some of his neighbors. Larry also commissions Susie to sew a new Klan robe which ends up having a Star of David embroidered on the back. (If you can sew some Stars of David into the Klansman robe, maybe thatll justify sending it to the cleaners, Wildes said.)

That Larry quotes some Fiddler to the Klansman when talk turns to tradition may also be something of a minor mitzvah. The Talmud appears silent on the issue of getting ones friend to embrace food they love, but are afraid to eat on account of stereotypes, as Larry also does in this episode, but Larry proclaiming his love of gefilte fish in a grocery store is surely some form of culinary good deed for the Jewish people.

But of course in the episode, Larry still engages in some light Lashon hara, telling Freddy Funkhouser that his girlfriend dropped a Pirates Booty cheese snack on the floor and didnt pick it up.

Its indicative of a moral compass gone askew, David insists.

But, cleaning a Klansmans robe, thats permissible in Larrys law, if not always in Judaisms.

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What does the Talmud say about Larry David spilling coffee on a Klansmans robe? - Forward