The 2019 Travel Hall of Infamy Awards honour the years most ludicrous adventures – The Globe and Mail

Kagan McLeod/The Globe and Mail

goes to the laid-back Air France flyer who wanted to be as comfy as possible on his 12-hour Paris-to-Los Angeles jaunt. According to fellow traveller Lizzie Thompson who posted photos and incredulous comments on social media the long-haul flight felt even longer for everyone else on board after the man removed his socks and trousers and began strolling around the cabin in his boxer shorts. Attendants seemed unconcerned by the half-naked holidaymaker, reported Thompson, who noted that he was chilly enough to cover his top half with a jacket while still keeping his pants off for more than half the flight.

goes to the two German visitors in Venice who attempted to sidestep the citys reportedly pricey espressos by bringing their own camp stove with them. But rather than discreetly brewing up in a cobbled back alley, the tight-fisted duo set-up their java-making paraphernalia on the steps of the Rialto Bridge, a 400-year-old landmark spanning the Grand Canal. An outraged local (probably more of a tea drinker) informed the police about their steamy shenanigans and according to The New York Times the pair was fined 950 euros ($1,400).

goes to the Swiss tourist who aimed to freak up his Disneyland Paris visit with a spot of LSD (although riding Its a Small World is just as trippy). As the hallucinogen kicked in, he stripped off, jumped into Captain Hooks lake and promptly disappeared. With the park closing for the night, his frantic girlfriend was forced to alert authorities. Divers, firefighters and dozens of singing chipmunks were swiftly dispatched, with the naked man eventually found staggering along a nearby country road. Arrests, charges and a three-week visit to the naughty step ensued.

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goes to Russian actor Lidiya Velezheva who lost the plot when her Moscow to Tel Aviv flight was slightly delayed. Prior to the planes rescheduled takeoff, rather than sipping an extra glass of business class champagne, her Lady Macbeth-sized ego suddenly burst forth with a raging thespian meltdown. Passenger videos show her declaiming, Im an actress and you are a pleb, and the equally charming, You probably bought the ticket with miles and I paid 204,000 rubles [$4,250]. Velezheva whose movies include one appropriately titled Idiot was swiftly dragged from her seat by officers.

goes to the Speedo-clad tourist on Marylands Assateague Island beach who ignored multiple warning signs about petting the wild horses that live in the protected park area. A bystanders video shows the carefree stroller walking among relaxed sunbathers before reaching out to pat the well-muscled behind of a handsome feral equine. In a lightning fast reaction, a sharp hoof is rapidly dispatched into the mans tender nether regions, sending him sprawling across the sand and ruing the fact that hed forgotten to pack his armour-plated banana hammock for this particular trip.

goes to the Phuket, Thailand visitor from Estonia who enjoyed an evening of fine wines and philosophical debate (probably) before returning to his holiday apartment with his equally refined roommate. Loosening his cravat (perhaps), he suddenly remembered hed always wanted to sleep under the stars. Next morning, locals posted photos of a grubby mattress precariously balanced on the buildings sagging awning, complete with a shorts-clad snoozer blearily sprawled on top of it. Police officers awakened the snoring sophisticate, reminded him hed thrown his mattress out the window and charged him with drunkenness and property damage.

goes to the New York-bound couple at Manchester Airport who were pulled aside after sending their carry-on bag through the security scanner. But rather than being read the riot act for smuggling an oversized shampoo bottle, the perplexed pair were reunited with their cat, Candy, who had successfully completed her feline mission: sneaking into a confined space, curling up in a corner and falling asleep. Describing the staff as awesome, the couple arranged for friends to pick up the whisker-twitching stowaway before resuming their trip. As for Candy, shes expecting a suitcase full of Friskies Party Mix treats when they return.

goes to the Instagrammers at Spains Monte Neme a striking body of turquoise water ringed by rocky crags who couldnt wait to wow their followers with shots of themselves cavorting in the preternaturally-hued pool. Unfortunately, the glowing pond is actually filled with hazardous chemical waste from a decommissioned tungsten mine. But, according to news outlet Publico, that didnt dissuade rabid influencers from snapping their scenic swims including one who was hospitalized and another who reported vomiting and skin irritation. Still, the photos look great except the ones with weeping sores.

goes to the not-so-sweet-toothed airline passenger from Cairo who approached Berlin airport security with a boxful of cakes artfully shaped like tortoises. Clearly visible through the packages plastic window, the traveller explained that his tasty-looking treats were made of chocolate. But rather than asking him to bite into one, eagle-eyed officers confiscated the confections or rather the live tortoises they in fact were and handed them to the airports vet. The endangered reptiles were rescued and the wannabe tortoise rustler faces a possible five-year prison stretch, where the cakes will likely be far less fancy.

goes to the Norway cruise-shippers who concluded a day-long drinking binge with a late-night gathering in an upper-deck restaurant. Rather than soaking up their pilsners with food, one of them became suddenly enraged by a fellow passenger dressed as a clown. Naturally, a violent mass brawl ensued with plates, furniture and presumably custard pies deployed as weapons. There was blood everywhere, Tweeted one terrified onlooker. The Pagliacci-bashing pugilists were eventually rounded up and locked in their cabins, where they were hopefully forced to watch repeated screenings of Stephen Kings It.

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goes to the critter-loving Australian beach visitor who posted a short social-media video of himself cooing at a tiny, beautifully-patterned octopus he was holding in his hand. Instead of filling his comments section with admiring responses, however, in-the-know nature nuts pointed out that the blue-ringed octopus is one of the worlds most deadly marine animals, reportedly carrying enough venom to kill 26 adults in a matter minutes. The eight-legged poison-packer just couldnt be bothered today, though, generously allowing itself to be returned to the water without a single human fatality.

goes to British holidaymaker Martin Walsh who spent the afternoon drinking alongside Italys Lake Garda before announcing to his equally tipsy buddies that he was fully ready to swim across. He wasnt a complete idiot though: for added buoyancy, he fashioned a flotation device from two flip-flops before easing into a lake that only trained athletes usually tackle. All went well for the first nine minutes, but a few seconds later his pals stopped cheering when he disappeared. A helicopter and two boats were dispatched to pluck the fake Phelps from the choppy waters, with one rescuer telling The Sun newspaper that Walshs escapade was very stupid.

goes to the pickup driver on a steep road near Colorados Rocky Mountain National Park, who pulled over at a bathroom-equipped rest stop to answer that essential call of nature. Unfortunately, the pit stop didnt quite go according to plan. Video from a car behind shows the driver suddenly bursting from the port-a-potty, pulling up his pants and sprinting towards his vehicle just as it rolls backward across the road and tumbles down a near-vertical cliff. The truck was empty, which was little consolation to the hand-break half-wit who likely returned to the washroom for a well-earned sob.

goes to the 12-member multigenerational British family who spent weeks tearing up the rulebook of good tourist behaviour on their jolly New Zealand jaunt. Locals took to social media to report the loud-mouthed layabouts travelling around like an amoebic crime wave, with allegations of shoplifting, beach littering, drunken brawling and running out on restaurant bills hitting newspapers almost daily along with an image of one of their youngest flipping the bird to reporters like a good un. Sadly, the lively cultural exchange was cut short when immigration authorities issued a deportation notice, returning the ever-courteous clan from whence they came.

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The 2019 Travel Hall of Infamy Awards honour the years most ludicrous adventures - The Globe and Mail