Walter and the LPD | Columnists | leader-call.com – leader-call.com

For almost eight years, my smiling face has appeared in the same spot every Thursday. Mark Thornton and Jim Cegielski are anchors for Saturday opinion pages. That is how it always has been since I joined this group.

We also think along the same lines, some a bit more extreme than others, but we are watching the same baseball game I do love a good sports analogy.

My column usually is the first in what we call The Hopper to be looked over. Jim is usually second and Mark the man never sleeps will get his in shortly after the neighborhood roosters wake the neighborhood.

I wish I would have counted the number of times those two have written, in essence, the same column. There is no communication between any of us when it comes to writing columns. Its a mystery until it appears ready for editing.

Great minds do think alike. And since I have dipped the quill into tackling issues that wont necessarily make it popular, I have run into times where Jim and I are, in essence, penning the same missive.

As would have been the case this week had the boss not gotten his column in first. A sneak peek at Saturdays column: Are Americans just stupid?

Yes, as a whole, this nation is stupid. That is all I will say. In typical Cegielski fashion, he gets his point across brilliantly.

I canned the mask column about a third of the way through it. Not a big fan anyway of masks or the column. Im to the point where I will wear it into a store if necessary, then shuck it as soon as possible. I have found that more and more people are understanding the ridiculousness of it all and are only wearing them so as not to get shamed. I highly doubt they did much good, anyway, but I am no scientist.

Each Wednesday, I host live trivia. One of the regulars consists of a team of doctors, one of whom is over the emergency room department at a fairly large hospital. He hasnt worn a mask to trivia in a month. The hospital is nowhere close to being overwhelmed. Hes vaccinated. Im vaccinated. Now lets go on our merry way to a productive and happy life.

Enough on that ... but do make sure you read Jims column on Saturday.

No doubt we are in crazy times, though. The world has seemed to tip on its axis. Only in a nation like ours with opportunities as boundless as ones desire to succeed could so many people be so miserable. We have gotten so fat and so lazy that all we can do is ingest ourselves from within.

Our days are numbered. It might not be next week or next year, but our time on the mountaintop is running its course. Weve had a fantastic run. But, eventually, every kid gets his butt kicked and knocked out of the sandbox. Our kicking is coming from China. We owe too much. We spend too much. We cannot agree on whether the sky is blue or not. Political corruption is rampant. We have fallen into an abyss of wokeness the modern iteration of political correctness where freedoms have to be neutered at the whims and wishes of a small, yet terribly vocal minority.

Regular readers might remember this tale, which happened several years ago, driving home from the Gulf Coast. My wife and I were accompanied by our dog Yum Yum in the front seat. Cali the Dog, the stately woman in the back seat, was as calm and cool as The Fonz. Nothing ever rattled her. All she wanted to do was be.

Then there was the insane Walter, having only been with us for a year. Many of you recall Walter in these pages and tales of his wandering up to my door in Ellisville, literally appearing out of nowhere. We have had our bouts, and he once tried to take a chunk out of Marks ... just guess. When Walters crazy, he is crazy!

On that night in 2016, coming home from the coast, he was insane, barking wildly at large trucks and bridge overpasses. On Highway 15, we worked our way north. We started cresting the hills when the blue lights came into view at a Laurel police checkpoint.

Four beings in our car had no problem with the LPD that night. Walter, the American Staffordshire terrier mix with a severe reaction to Stranger Danger, did.

Having worked with the LPD for years, I knew most of the officers or at least knew of them. As we neared the two standing in front of their car, I had no clue who they were.

I lowered my window as Walter lost the last bit of his mind in the backseat.

Two things were about to happen:

He was going to break the back window going after these two young officers, who I still dont know other than their skin was darker than mine. (I would love to know who they were, if this story sounds familiar to any officers.)

Or chew through the headrest, my shoulder and left ear and charge through the window after these men who were just doing their jobs.

We almost came to a stop. License in hand, the officers looked at me, then at Walter, then at me. Yall can go they said and waved me quickly on my way.

At parties, I usually add, I had 30 pounds of illegal drugs and untaxed whiskey in my trunk!

But I didnt. Just a ride home, a couple of scared officers and a few moments of your time to not get caught up in everyone elses misery, which, by design, will only make you miserable.

Remember, we only get so many days around this floating ball.

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Walter and the LPD | Columnists | leader-call.com - leader-call.com