Their castration of gingerbread men – County Weekly News

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Political correctness has hit an unprecedented low in a Picton supermarket. Gingerbread men have been neutered. While shopping in the bakery section of this store I spotted an attractively displayed tray of these spicy treats. About to put it in my cart, I glanced at the label and discovered that it read Gingerbread Persons.

Astounded by this transformation of the gingerbread man from a favourite childhood treat to a sexless bit of cake I wondered what might come next. Suddenly, I envisioned a package of anatomically correct gingerbread persons, six male and six female, lined up on a styrofoam tray, politically correct to the last crumb. The magic disappeared with this alarming thought.

If gingerbread men are to become persons, surely the man in the moon must follow suit, along with the Sandman, the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz, and the postman. Spiderman, Superman, and Batman cannot be overlooked either. It will matter little that they began their lives as males. Now, to be politically correct they must become persons. Superperson, Spiderperson, and Batperson now will save our planet. Wonder Woman will transition to Wonder Person and the Six Million Dollar Man will become the Six Million Dollar Person.

The Man from Uncle will become gender neutral along with The Third Man of the big screen, who will be reinvented as The Third Person, not to be confused with a pronoun. Manhole covers will be renamed Personhole covers and all references to manpower will be changed to personpower.

Song titles will be changed to ensure their political correctness. Stand By Your Man will become Stand By Your Person and When A Man Loves a Woman will be retitled When a Person Loves a Person.

Where does the lunacy end? Changing prejudicial or offensive appellations to something showing greater sensitivity makes sense, but neutering innocent gingerbread men in a bakeshop oven is overkill. Usually, attempts to make gender non-specific end with clumsy words that make little sense. The decision to change the word chairman to chairperson, or, simply chair is an example. Each time I hear the phrase chair of the meeting, I imagine a Morris rocker or a recliner presiding as the minutes were read.

The time has come for words and images that are blatantly sexist or insensitive to disappear. It was a step in the right direction when Aunt Jemimas picture was retired from boxes of pancake mix and there was discussion of pensioning off Uncle Ben from packages of rice. However, neutering the Gingerbread Man is going a step too far. He did nothing to deserve such a fate. He was no threat to Womens Liberation and surely was not offensive to any race or creed. He was just a piece of cake.

After reading the label on the tray I was about to put in my grocery cart, I returned the gingerbread persons to the shelf. While a gingerbread man by any other name might smell and taste as sweet, it would not be the same.

On principle, I refuse to eat a gingerbread person. How political correctness has managed to extend its reach to a grocery store bakeshop boggles the mind. When the Gingerbread Man becomes politically incorrect, it is time for us to give our heads a shake and stop the ridiculous word games that mock our intelligence.

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Their castration of gingerbread men - County Weekly News