Political correctness is going to kill comedy – Bainbridge Island Review

As graduation looms, my son Gideon has been named both salutatorian and Wittiest Boy of the Cornersville (TN) High School Class of 2021.

(I myself did well academically back in the day which even then was about 15 years after the hoary phrase back in the day had applied for Medicare. I also absorbed comedy vibes from Steve Martin and Monty Python and made good use of the copy of 10,000 Jokes, Toasts and Stories that belonged to my father another salutatorian. I just wanted you to know that Gideon comes by certain predispositions honestly. And that I go by my fathers axiom, Blessed is he who tooteth his own horn, else it might not get tooted.)

The salutatorian honor looks good on college applications (although nowadays even Listen up, dean I dont think a diploma from your institution is worth anyone except Uncle Sam paying for and if you beg nicely, Ill allow the graduate assistants to mow my parents lawn is not necessarily a deal-breaker), but the long-term prospects for Wittiest seem more questionable.

Oh, I agree this vale of tears will always need bon mots, wry observations, sly jabs, satirical barbs, clever turns of phrases, outrageous puns and slapstick pratfalls; but will it always appreciate people with a sense of humor?

Granted, there will always be a place for the umpteenth permutation of Thats what she said or knee-slapping glory days reminiscences of all the butts that were kicked and all the bras that were removed under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol; but will genuine cleverness and originality survive?

I have enjoyed driving Gideon to school and engaging in fast-paced verbal jousting based on current events or sights along the road. Up until my recent crisis of confidence, I have believed that the ability to think on your feet is a skill worth developing. Now I fear that most people, metaphorically speaking, would rather zone out while getting a pedicure.

A push for inclusiveness will rob jokes of their spontaneity and simplicity. There may be a future Oscar Wilde or Will Rogers out there, but how many humorists will tolerate requirements of checking all the right boxes? (A priest, a rabbi, a minister, a mullah, a warlock, an atheist, a shaman and approximately 15 other people from somewhere along the spirituality spectrum start to walk into a bar but realize the bar doesnt have any Cro-Magnons on the payroll, so instead they wait around on the sidewalk for a stranded-on-a-deserted-island anecdote to develop.)

Once upon a time, Shakespeares Polonius assured us that Brevity is the soul of wit. Now that advice would be greeted with The word soul is so problematic

The self-deprecating humor of a Rodney Dangerfield wannabe is triggering, too. (Youre guilty of Myron McGillicuddy of Weasel Spit, Wisconsin shaming.)

Dont get me started on the prospects of artificial intelligence making human jokesters obsolete. (Alexa, give me another of those rib-tickling Yo mommas algorithm is so fat jokes.)

No matter how politically correct you make your wisecracks, theres always another hurdle. (We have several people with untreated ADHD in the audience. Maybe instead of one-liners, you could deliver some HALF-liners.)

Perhaps someday Gideon will moonlight from his proposed engineering career and gamely continue this column.

Yes, son, Id be honored for you to fill my shoes. No not the pedicure bath! My shoes!

*Sigh*

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com. His weekly column is distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons Inc. newspaper syndicate.

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Political correctness is going to kill comedy - Bainbridge Island Review