Desperate Olympic Committee Attempts To Increase Viewership By Adding Skinny-Dipping To 2024 Games – The Onion

LAUSANNE, SWITZERLANDIn the wake of two straight Olympics with record-low TV ratings, an increasingly desperate International Olympic Committee announced plans Friday to increase viewership by adding skinny-dipping to the 2024 Summer Games in Paris. As times and tastes change, the Olympics are no different, which is why were giving viewers young and old alike a chance to watch the most ripped, nubile nude athletes compete to bring home the skinny-dipping gold, said IOC president Thomas Bach, describing how the committee fast-tracked several skinny-dipping eventsincluding pairs, synchronized, and 400-meter-relay skinny-dippingso that each nations sexiest, most desirable athletes could train over the next two years. These events will of course be broadcast live and with no censorship whatsoever. Well be working with our television and internet streaming providers to offer comprehensive underwater coverage of these outstanding, totally nude athletes as they seek Olympic glory. Who knows what theyll get up to in the crystal-clear waters of our giant Olympic pools? You wont want to miss the most supple, alluring, completely undressed athletes the world has ever seen. Skinny-dipping is reportedly one of several new, more sensational changes to the Games, with the IOC also modifying rules for dressage events to mandate that all competitors must be nude and riding bareback on a horse.

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Desperate Olympic Committee Attempts To Increase Viewership By Adding Skinny-Dipping To 2024 Games - The Onion