Category Archives: Transhuman News

Ah, Las Vegas: It provides inspiration in so many ways. Thats how it seemed, anyway, judging from the Grammy red carpet, newly located to the MGM Grand Garden Arena in the city of gosh, so many things! Sin and lights and camp and Elvis.

And as with the site, so, too, with the clothes. If there was a theme to the night, it was an exuberant anything-goes attitude that was not a bad reminder of why red carpets are fun in the first place. Theyre as much for those doing the watching as those doing the wearing.

There was Megan Thee Stallion, channeling an entire big cat enclosure in her one-shouldered, slit-to-the-waist Roberto Cavalli. St. Vincent, modeling Showgirls, the X Games version, in ruffle-trimmed Gucci with enormous sweeping sleeves and skirt. Michelle Zauner of Japanese Breakfast, looking like a fabulous daffodil in short ruffled yellow Valentino. And Billie Eilish, going all Gothic conceptualist in a black Rick Owens coat with a neckline that seemed to have migrated to her torso, thus suggesting everyones perspective had flipped sort of sideways. Who couldnt relate?

Even the relatively sedate Louis Vuitton suiting of BTS (think tones of clay, sand, white and teal) was punctuated by Vs overblown corsage, like an entire bouquet of paper flowers had attached itself to the side of his jacket.

Shocking pink was the color of the night, worn by Billy Porter in a ruffled Valentino shirtdress, cape, opera gloves and trousers; Saweetie, in a Valentino bra, more gloves and ginormous skirt (the brand actually had its own patented name for the pink: Pink PP, after its designer, Pierpaolo Piccioli); Travis Barker, in a shocking pink coat over a black Givenchy suit; and Anglique Kidjo, in a fabulous fringed fuchsia.

Also Justin Bieber, who accessorized his oversize Balenciaga suit and steel-tipped Balenciaga Crocs with a bright pink beanie. (Crocs also made an appearance on the feet of Questlove. Comfort dressing to the fore!)

Speaking of Saweetie, the pink was only the first of three count em outfits she wore during the night, swapping it for a black Oscar de la Renta gown cut to flash one silver-covered breast, like an Amazon going to the prom, and then trading that for a glimmering, backless gold Etro number.

Still, when it came to bling, there was Lil Nas X, shining like a rhinestone on one of Elviss jumpsuits. He seemed to be channeling a sci-fi warrior angel in pearl-encrusted Balmain with butterfly detailing before he changed into glittering Zorro black to start his performance, which in turn was shed for a pearl bolero and then a marching band jacket complete with gold braid. As for Giveon, his Chanel black boucl denim jacket and jeans sparkled like the night sky over the desert. Chanel mens wear! Why not?

Then there was Jon Batiste, who made his entrance in a silver, gold and black harlequin sequin suit in honor of New Orleans, his hometown. Designed by Dolce & Gabbana, the formerly canceled brand whose history of politically incorrect behavior seems to be behind it, at least as far as celebrities are concerned, the suit was outshone only by the diamante-bedazzled cape, part royal, part priest, he wore to accept his award for Album of the Year.

Their only real competition in the sparkle stakes was Brandi Carlile, in a rainbow-bejeweled Boss tuxedo she told the E! host Laverne Cox weighed about 40 pounds (anything for fashion), and that she said both made her feel like a boss and was a homage to Elton John, the king of fantabulous costume.

Indeed, there was a strain of nostalgia running through the night. H.E.R. wore an egg yolk-yellow Dundas jumpsuit with caped sleeves and phoenix embroidery that was a direct reference to Aretha Franklins 1976 American Music Awards get-up. Leon Bridges, in white with gold embroidery, had a touch of Presley about him. Lady Gaga served full midcentury silver screen siren in black Armani Priv with a swag of white satin at the side before slipping into a minty blue Elie Saab satin number with a gigantic bow at the back to do her golden oldies medley, like a gift-wrapped Jean Harlow.

Olivia Rodrigo paired her corseted Vivienne Westwood with a signature 90s choker. And Dua Lipa channeled Donatella Versace in long blond hair and a bondage gown from the 1992 Versace Miss S&M collection. (Ms. Versace herself made an appearance in an award-presenting skit that was perhaps the ultimate in product placement.)

Still, that Versace gown wasnt the only vintage on the carpet. SZA wore a nude tulle Jean Paul Gaultier design from 2006 sprouting a gardens worth of flowers down the front, and Laverne Cox modeled a lacy black John Galliano number from 2007. It was as close as anyone got to value signaling via dress.

Yet in the end, amid all the fun and frippery, the one garment that most lingered was perhaps the least elaborate, least formal of all: the T-shirt worn by Billie Eilish for her performance. Featuring Taylor Hawkins, the Foo Fighters drummer who died in late March, it was a fashion statement of the most emotional, effective kind.

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Grammys 2022 Best-Dressed: Lil Nas X, Billy Porter and More - The New York Times

John Abraham in 'Attack', a full-on Bollywood masala action flick. 'Attack' released in theatres on April 1, 2022. (Screen grab)

There are bad guys in the Parliament! is not a politically incorrect statement, it is Bollywoods oldest trick to get your patriotism engine all fired up. So the story begins with our guys in camouflage extracting a bad guy, literally from behind the walls. Johns kindness to a lad proves to be incorrect. Its like they say in the movies (including the latest James Bond film), You gotta leave not a child behind who will grow up and come after you.

But what fun, John's character gets time off andfalls in lovewith Jacqueline's. And the fans in the audience (including yours truly) will love seeing one of the fittest men in Bollywood ride a motorbike and display one of the best sets of dimples in the industry. Not just that, there are very few people whose smile creates crinkles around the eyes the way his does. That out of the way, time to land face first into the story.

The story borrows ideas from The Matrix, Robocop, Iron Man and more, but I was touched to see a tribute slide in the opening credits to Nathan Copeland - his story is here:

Whats this got to do with a John Abraham movie you ask? A freak terrorist attack leaves him hurt and we meet a supposedly cool computer scientist who is working with the Indian Army (please suspend disbelief here because Rakul Preet Singh just does not fit into a role that would have been great for Ratna Pathak Shah who plays Johns mother instead).Her research might help John walk again, so Im happy to not see a Guzarish redux but Iron Man.

A chip is installed in Johns head and a mini computer (glowing disc) on the back of his neck connects him to the chip which commands his limbs to move. Aha! Time to upload all kinds of data into his head (without erasing memories with his girl) and that includes fighting techniques. Nice lift from The Matrix. Very nice indeed.

The conversations between the Siri/Alexa in his head - named IRA (Internal Robotic Assistance or some such thing) - and John are fun. Well done! I liked how Ira just shuts when he needs her most and has to reboot. Loved Rakul Preet Singhs Inception-type explanation: Your memories are like the wallpaper on your computer screen. You can stare at them and enjoy them and everyone will think youre knocked out, but to get out of it, you have to willingly press enter so that Ira can bring you to reality. Nice touch.

Also well done are the scenes with John running topless on Delhis Rajpathduring his rehabilitation program once the chip is inserted into his brain. We know hes itching to get into action. They are tracking a new bad terrorist (are there any other kind in Bollywood?) who is buying chemical weapons in Europe. You sigh deeply into your coffee and expect action taking you to Europe where John will fight big burly Russians or Chechens or what have you

Of course the terrorists dont stay in exotic places. They are happy to attack the parliament in Delhi! Its such a hackneyed thing, but its all right because John the super soldier will save the day. You like how John and the terrorist share a history. How the terrorist grew up and why John still looks young (and gorgeous) is not a question that you ask. You just enjoy the awesome action scenes unfolding in front of you, assisted by Ira.

The politicians and the army in a situation room is just the same ole, same ole, but thanks to Rajit Kapur who plays the social media savvy Home Minister so well, I spewed coffee everywhere. Rajit Kapur has a social secretary and an IAS style smarmy personal secretary as well. The army has Prakash Raj, who believes in his super soldier John and Kiran Kumar. The battle between politics and the army is not new, but hearing the terrorist say that they wont end up doing anything because each will want to bring the other down...

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Attack review: John Abrahams super soldier borrows a lot from Hollywood, but the movie is all Bollywood - Moneycontrol

SARATOGA SPRINGS A 2021 candidate for city office was convicted Tuesday in Saratoga Springs City Court on one of two misdemeanor counts of mishandling her ballot petitions.

Republican Samantha Guerratook an Alford plea, acknowledging that there was, as a special prosecutor said, overwhelming evidence the ballot petitions she swore to have witnessed contained blatant forgeries." But the plea allows her to maintain her innocence.

She specifically swore to that she personally observed all of the signatures on the petitions and personally confirmed the identity of the signers, Schenectady County Assistant District Attorney John Carson said outside of the courtroom. Based on all of the evidence, that simply could not be true.

Her conviction, which has no punishment or fine as its an unclassified misdemeanor, comes six months after Democrats accused her of forging her petitions to gain an additional, independent line on the November ballot. The signatures were collected even though she had already secured the Republican, Conservative and Working Families Party lines.

Her attorney, Oscar Schreiber, said her November arrest, just days after she lost the election, was political. He is also calling on the State Police to arrest the person who forged the signatures on Guerras ballots.

During my meeting with the State Police, I informed them of whom allegedly forged the signatures on the petitions, said Schreiber who would not reveal the name to the Times Union. That campaign worker added names without Samanthas knowledge ... Im calling on the State Police to arrest that person for forgery. If they chose not to, then that only proves that her arrest was politically motivated and she was targeted and nothing else.

Carson, who was a special Schenectady County assistant district attorney named to the case, said the forgeries were obvious, contained in block lettering, not signatures, printed names that appear to be the same handwriting for multiple names and multiple addresses.

"State Police conducted a lengthy investigation and interviewed nearly every person that they could track down from those two petitions, each petition carrying 20 signatures, Carson said. A number of those interviewed and who provided written statements said they never signed the petitions despite their name appearing and never gave anyone permission to put their name of the petition.

He also said a number of the petition lines included incorrect addresses, incorrect names and nicknames that were not actual legal voting names.

The most glaring example was a witness who purportedly signed the petition (who) was in the state of Florida on vacation, Carson said. He said taking all the evidence together, "this was a particularly flagrant and indefensible.

Schreiber emphasized however, that Guerra is only guilty of trusting her campaign workers.

Samantha today simply admitted that there is enough evidence against her that would likely result in trial, said Schreiber, who was assisted in court by former congressman John Sweeney. No one ever accused Samantha of forging anything. Samantha was a political newcomer. She relied, to her detriment, on her campaign committee.

Carson said that he is fine with the idea that Guerra will not face any punishment,saying the main thing is that she was held accountable.

Did it affect the election? No, she did not win the election, Carson said. But filing of documents matter ... a conviction is still appropriate.

Both attorneys acknowledge that things could have been worse for Guerra if she was charged with filing a false instrument, a felony. However, there was no proof, they both say, that she herself wrote in those names.

Despite her legal troubles, Guerra said she may try to get on an election ballot again.

I might, she said as she left City Hall. I havent decided yet.

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Spa candidate convicted of mishandling ballot petitions - Times Union

He is known to millions as the gaffe-prone, politically incorrect radio turned TV presenter Alan Partridge, but Steve Coogan is soon to be seen in a dramatically different role, as the serial-abuser Jimmy Savile.

The 56-year-old is no stranger to serious roles, but his turn as the evil predator in upcoming BBC drama The Reckoning, which will look at how the monster's crimes went undetected for so long, is sure to be his darkest yet.

The father-of-one, who is appearing on Saturday Night Takeaway this evening, has been has been in the limelight for decades, and dated models, well-known actresses and even had a fling with a rock star.

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Coogan has been pictured often at showbiz soirees with his arm around glamorous women, and his roles in Hollywood blockbusters alongside smaller projects has ensured he's worth millions.

Born in Lancashire, Coogan rose to prominence in 1980s as a voice actor for the politician-blasting puppet show Spitting Image.

In the early 1990s he launched comedy character Alan Partridge on BBC Radio 4 comedy On The Hour, and later with his own spoof radio chat show Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge.

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Coogan has continued to portray Partridge over the years in radio shows, on TV and and even on the silver screen with movie Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa, in 2013.

He reprised the much-loved comedy character with This Time with Alan Partridge, which mocked topical TV shows such as The One Show.

Alongside his role as Partridge, Coogan has also acted alongside Rob Brydon as a fictionalised version of himself in beloved sitcom The Trip.

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He has acted in a slew of successful films, both serious and comic, playing a Roman soldier in Night at the Museum and a journalist helping an Irish mother, played by Judy Dench, track down her son, in Philomena.

In 2018, he won huge praise for his portrayal of Stanley Laurel against John C Reily's Oliver Hardy, in Stan & Ollie, a film about the iconic double act.

The following year, he played a billionaire fashion mogul, loosely modelled on Topshop mogul Philip Green, in the Michael Winterbottom film Greed.

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He has won and been nominated for a flurry of awards, including an Oscar nomination for Best Adapted Screenplay for Philomena, and winning Best Male Performance in a Comedy Role at BAFTAs, for The Trip.

Thanks to his long career, Coogan is, according to Celebrity Net Worth, worth $25million, which equates to around 19million.

As well as his acting and writing credentials, Coogan has hit the headlines for his relationships with a bevvy of famous women.

In 2002, Coogan married British socialite Caroline Hickman, but the pair divorced in 2005, with Hickman saying the marriage had irretrievably broken down.

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The same year Coogan's divorce was granted, he had a brief two-week fling with Hole singer Courtney Love, now 57, who was married to Nirvana rocker Kurt Cobain.

In January last year, Love called the rendezvous "one of my life's great shames" on social media.

In the post the musician criticised her solo record America's Sweetheart, writing: "Like Steve Coogan, or crack, its one of my lifes great shames."

In 2008, it was revealed that Coogan was dating actress and restaurant heiress China Chow, who is nine years younger than him.

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Chow is the daughter of Michael Chow, known for the Mr Chow restaurant chain.

A source told Mail Online that he was "absolutely smitten and hasn't even looked twice at another girl in months", but the pair ended their relationship after three years.

The unlikely lothario moved in with underwear model Elle Basey, 24 years his junior, after the pair met while he was guest editing Loaded magazine as Alan Partridge.

Coogan posed with Elle in a photoshoot, while she wore black underwear, stockings and suspenders.

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The pair dated between 2011 and 2014, sharing Coogan's house in Brighton.

In 2019, Coogan split with Let's Do Lunch presenter Melanie Sykes, 51, after 10 months, amid rumours of commitment issues.

The pair were first linked after meeting at a launch party for his film Stan & Ollie, however Mel reportedly decided to pull the plug.

In an interview with The Sun on Sunday, a source close to Mel said the former talk show host felt she had no option but to end the relationship as she saw her hopes of settling down fade away.

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Mel is gutted it didnt work out - but although she is disappointed, she is not that surprised, the source claimed.

She was worried that he wasnt committing and wasnt keen on family stuff or getting too involved with her two teenage sons, the source went on.

Coogan has also dated actress Laura Hajek, Downtown Abbey cast member Daisy Lewis and Nancy Sorrell, before she married comedian Vic Reeves in 2003.

Coogan has a grown-up daughter, Claire, from a four year relationship with solicitor Anna Cole in the 1990s.

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The star recently looked unrecognisable when he was spotted filming the upcoming Jimmy Savile drama.

In November, the award-winner was pictured with bleached blonde hair and a maroon tracksuit on a North Wales beach as filming commenced.

The actor previously pictured filming in Bolton, greater Manchester, wearing a jester costume.

The decision to chronicle Savile's crimes came under fire with many hitting out at the BBC, where the sick TV presenter spent many years of his career before his death ten years ago.

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Coogan previously said about taking on the role: "To play Jimmy Savile was not a decision I took lightly.

"Neil McKay has written an intelligent script tackling sensitively a horrific story which, however harrowing, needs to be told."

However, the BBC confirmed to viewers they have been working closely with the many people whose lives were impacted by Savile to ensure their stories are told with sensitivity and respect.

The upcoming series will also draw on extensive and wide-ranging research sources.

The BBC had defended their decision to create the series and said it was an important story to tell to "ensure such crimes never happen again".

Executive producer Jeff Pope said: "Steve has a unique ability to inhabit complex characters and will approach this role with the greatest care and integrity."

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Steve Coogan's net worth, famous girlfriends and dramatic Jimmy Savile transformation - The Mirror

Real Housewives have emerged from locales like the Big Apple, the Garden State, the Lone Star State, and even our nations capital. While these franchises all have gone down in Real Housewives history, The Real Housewives of Dubai looks like they may be taking the almost two-decade old franchise to a whole new level. Set in a locale known for aspirational living (and wealth), luxury shopping, and the larger than life Burj Khalifa, The Real Housewives of Dubaiis due to premiere on June 1st on Bravo, bringing with it a brand new crop of Housewives, a familiar face, and of course, immediate controversy.

While the excitement around the premiere of #RHODubai (the official hashtag) has been palpable since the announcement, the problematic nature of Dubai, specifically towards women and the LGBTQ community, has been a constant criticism. Andy Cohen spoke about this perspective on his Radio Andy show Andy Cohen Live on SiriusXM sayingDubai is somewhere we found an incredible group of people and I think its going to be a really exciting show and I think itll be a great addition to the franchise, he said. I think for a lot of people in this country who watch the housewives or who watch this kind of show, it may be their first or only exposure to Dubai. And while the show is really meant to entertain, what I also hope is that maybe we can showcase some of the stuff thats going on there that is politically incorrect, and educate people about that.While he did state that he finds the criticism from fans to be fair Cohen said thathe was hopeful that the show could possibly impact some change and to get people talking about it. And who knows, maybe we can move the needle a little bit, so that is my hope

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The Real Housewives Of Dubai Come To Bravo This Summer Instinct Magazine - Instinct Magazine

WHEN I WALKED into Obed Silvas living room on a quiet Sunday afternoon, I was immediately struck by the robust and colorful paintings that adorn his walls. Silva is a gifted artist who is fond of painting iconic figures: Frida Kahlo, Cesar Chavez, and the Virgin of Guadalupe. Silvas collection of art also features paintings by other artists. An untitled painting by Fabian Debora, a Los Angelesbased muralist, caught my interest. The painting depicts a Mexican mother holding an infant wrapped in brightly colored swaddling clothes. The mother is positioned in the foreground, her face is filled with fear and remorse. In the background, a male figure, his face bearing the skeletal motif of Da de los Muertos, gyrates in pain as he is shot in the back. As I observed this painting, I slowly realized that it was a highly symbolic rendering of Silvas own brush with death as a teenager. At the age of 17, he was shot in the back at a liquor store in Buena Park and remains partially paralyzed and confined to a wheelchair. Although Silva is represented in the painting, the central figure is the mother figure, whose look of utter desperation emphasizes the weight of her sorrow.

Deboras Untitled, which mythologizes Silvas near-death experience, also conveys his own aesthetic credo: the desire to create art out of suffering and to make the ugly beautiful. For Silva, artistic expression is wedded to the act of transcending reality, especially its most brutal consequences. His first book, The Death of My Father the Pope, published last December by Farrar, Straus & Giroux, is similar to Deboras painting in the sense that it is grounded in memory and lived experience. At the beginning of his memoir, Silva attends his fathers funeral in Chihuahua, Mexico, wrestling with the question of what he has inherited from the man.

Juan Jess Silva, Obeds father, was a precocious artist who began an apprenticeship with Aarn Pia Mora, one of Mexicos great postwar muralists, in the 1970s. After working closely with Pia Mora for many months, he fell out with his master because he lacked discipline and commitment; once his apprenticeship ended, he embarked on a slow and gradual descent into chronic alcoholism. As an adult, Silva visited his father in Chihuahua many times, trying to persuade him to stop ruining his life; however, his protestations were in vain, his father dying from cirrhosis of the liver and hepatitis C at the age of 48. At the beginning of the memoir, the author is reluctant to attend the funeral, but his mother convinces him: You need to heal, and you cant do that unless you forgive your father. Its the only way youre ever going to close those wounds. When the author finally views his fathers withering corpse in a Chihuahua funeral parlor, he experiences a torrent of unexpected emotions: loss, regret, disappointment, and love.

The Death of My Father the Pope is a masterful examination of the weight of patrimony; throughout the memoir, Silva meditates on the question of what he has inherited from his father. Like his father, he possesses a talent for painting and drawing, yet he desperately wants to reject the undesirable aspects of his inheritance: his fathers penchant for abuse, alcoholism, and self-destruction. Silva clearly loves his father, yet he also has to get him out of his system by writing about their fraught relationship. For the author, his memoir becomes a cathartic act and the only way forward.

The final chapter of The Death of My Father the Pope is uniquely disturbing. Silva lays bare an astonishing family secret that stopped me in my tracks: I thought I was reading a book about a son mourning his fathers death, but the final chapter taught me otherwise. When I finished the book, I was convinced that I had read a Chicano classic that will continue to speak to many generations of readers. The theme that resonated the most for me was the narratives unflinching critique of toxic masculinity and its intergenerational effects. Silva deconstructs societys understanding of strength by juxtaposing his fathers and mothers moral characters. Silva notes, This woman whod raised me all on her own without asking for anything from my father not a cent was showing me what real strength looked like. It wasnt in muscles or in violence or in superiority; it was in meekness and humility, in simply saying I forgive you and moving on.

As I sat down to interview the author in his Whittier home, I was most interested in the question of how Silva discovered literature. Silva told me the story of his literary education, which began while he was incarcerated in Juvenile Hall; his mother would bring him carefully chosen classics to read: Twains Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, Victor Hugos Les Misrables. Silva devoured these books, often self-identifying with the outcast figures who go against the grain and run away from respectable society. After Twain and Hugo, Silva eventually gravitated toward Russian writers: Chekhov and Tolstoy, and especially Dostoyevsky. The Russian writers dont pull any punches, he told me. Mainly they tell it like it is. I havent encountered any other writers from any other country that do what the Russian writers do. They just get to the spirit of the human condition and they express it so well. For Silva, Dostoyevsky resonated the most: I just feel that man went through his own suffering when he was almost executed and went into exile. When I read Dostoyevsky, I made all those connections I was being deported and I [faced death] and almost spent the rest of my life in prison.

Through the experience of personal tragedy, Silva discovered how the act of reading books can be a means of transcending past experiences and the cycles of gang violence that often enveloped him during his teenage years. Most of all, he cites the influence of his mother: She is my hero if not for her, I would be dead or in prison. She never lost faith in her son and even mortgaged her home to cover his bail money. Her undying love for him will be the subject of the second volume of Silvas memoirs, In the Hands of My Mother, which will also be published by Farrar, Straus & Giroux in the coming years.

JAMES PENNER: I think its safe to say youve had a very dramatic life being in a gang, getting shot, being partially paralyzed, being incarcerated. If these events had not happened, do you think you would have been a writer?

OBED SILVA: Definitely not. You know, Ive had that question before, but its been phrased, Do you regret what youve done? And, of course, I do. You know, of course I do regret the things Ive done, more so because of my mom, the misery and suffering Ive put her through. Would I have become a writer? No, I dont think so. Would I have become a painter? No, I dont think so. Being in a wheelchair, Im in pain every day. People dont see it. My back and my body hurt. You know, every day I live with the pain. Do I wish I could walk? Absolutely. Who would want to be in a wheelchair all their life? Would I change it? Maybe I would because I want to walk. You know, I want to feel my legs. Its a tough question: would I be here with the book? No, I dont think so. Would I exchange the book for my legs? Probably, yeah. Thats why I dont like that question because you cant change whats happened. Youve got to live with it. I guess the proper answer for that is: Try to make the ugly beautiful, and I guess thats what I try to do with the book. I try to make art out of it out of the suffering.

When I was reading your memoir, it felt like a kind of extended confession in many respects. It reveals many private and intimate details. Do you find confession liberating? Is it liberating to put your pain and suffering on paper?

Yeah, I think so. Ive never thought about it in those words, but I think so. Most people tend to hide their feelings, they hide who they really are. They hide behind a facade. I tend not to do that. Not purposefully. I think thats just how I am. My mom is very frank. It is to the point that she could hurt you and she wont realize that shes hurt you. Its because shes telling you the truth. You ask her questions, shes going to tell you the exact truth, whether you like it or not. And I think Im like that in some ways, but different in the sense that I dont take life or the issues that come with life too seriously. If Im dying. I try to make light of it. I feel that it just comes natural to me to just lay it all out there. You know, people can judge and they can come to their own conclusions. Confession is liberating because now nobody can criticize you. They know who you are. They know what to expect. This is what you get. Im not hiding anything. Its all laid out there for you. And I feel that not confessing prevents a lot of people from living life to the fullest. They just keep all these secrets, and all of their emotions hidden from society. Yes, I think it is absolutely liberating.

Along those lines, were you ever worried about what you should disclose in your memoir? Were you worried that some family members or friends might not like what they read or how they are portrayed?

You know, thats probably my biggest concern even right now. And I even thought of shutting down my Facebook page because family members might be really angry. I didnt hear this directly from Luis Rodriguez, but a friend of mine told me that Luis Rodriguez says, When you write a book, you betray your tribe, or an author betrays his tribe something along those lines. And that really stuck with me. And today, thats what helps me justify what I say in my book. You betray your tribe. And its true because youre telling the truth and people are going to get hurt. But its the truth. I have no other way of putting it. Ive got to tell the story the way I know the story. And by the same token, I also feel that I dont only tell the truth about them. I also tell the truth about myself. I mean, the end of my memoir tells it all. I can only tell the truth if people get upset about that, so be it.

Speaking of the issue of disclosure, your memoir also includes some pretty explicit activities: buying and snorting cocaine, hard drinking, an encounter with a Mexican prostitute. I feel these uncensored moments give the book honesty and authenticity. Some readers might not be so generous, however. How should a writer approach taboo and politically incorrect subjects?

Yes, there were some things I had to cut out of the book. You know, my greatest reader and mentor has been [Los Angelesbased novelist and journalist] Hctor Tobar. Hctor was the second person I showed the manuscript to after he wrote that profile on me in the Los Angeles Times when I was being deported. Hector said, So, Obed, you really put everything out there, and hed always tell me, Obed, what would mature Obed say about this [particular scene]? And that became very important to me. I thought to myself, Mature Obed, who the fuck is that? And he goes, Okay. Think about it. This all happened when you were a young man. Would the man of today do that kind of thing? Probably. But I get it right. Okay. So, what would mature Obed say about the young Obed? For instance, the moment with the prostitute, right? Young Obed sees her as a hooker, but mature Obed sees her as a woman who has to do what she has to do in order to survive. Is there something wrong with that? Not to me. We all do things to survive, and thats what she does to survive. How I describe things is something I worry about and it is something I take into consideration, but at the end of the day, its the truth that matters.

From Philip Roth to Alice Walker, many writers have been criticized for exposing the so-called dirty laundry of their respective communities. What do you say to readers who argue that you make Mexican Americans look bad because you write about alcoholism, domestic violence, drug abuse, etc.?

Well, I dont think so. I am writing about myself. I dont think I make Mexican Americans look bad. Shit, I wrote a book that should make Mexican Americans look good! Not only am I capable of writing a book, but I also put myself within a great community of writers Dostoyevsky, Hugo, Tolstoy, Chekhov, Octavio Paz all of them are in my book. And I did that purposefully. And I did it in a way to say, Hey, I could, you know, throw hooks with the best of them, too. Im not saying Im on the level of this group, but Im a scrapper and I can get in the ring with you. I may lose, but I got in there. I understand where the question is coming from because I do critique Mexico. But alcoholism, I mean, what about Frank McCourts Angelas Ashes? And, you know, alcoholism isnt just a problem that affects Mexicans. Alcoholism is universal. When I got my DUI and went to AA classes, most of the people I saw were white.

It just so happens that I am Mexican and my father as well, and, you know, the story takes place mostly in Mexico I also think that criticism is a form of love. I mean, Hctor critiqued my book. You can do two things with criticism: you can take it and do nothing and just fold into yourself and cry. Or you can take that criticism and better yourself. And this is something I tell my students. If I didnt I love my country, I wouldnt criticize it. I love my homeland. Look at my belt buckle. I wear it everywhere. Its the Mexican flag. I criticize myself because I want to be better.

I was really impressed by the overall tone of your memoir. It deals with emotional subject matter, yet it never feels overwritten or over the top. Was this an issue for you? Were you worried about being too emotional on the page? How do you approach the issue of finding a balance or an equilibrium when you are writing?

I dont know the answer. I just write. Like I tell my students in my creative writing class: write from the gut write from the darkest, most fucking ugly part of yourself because thats where all the strength in writing comes from. I also tell my students, if a book or a movie doesnt make you cry, it probably wasnt a good book, right? So, I dont know if Im over-emotional in there, or too sensitive. I think you have to be sensitive. I think you have to be emotional. Its like in Octavia Butlers book Parable of the Sower. The little girl has hyperempathy: its where her emotions are amplified and she feels everything around her. Thats the way I look at it: if youre going to be a writer, youve got to feel, man, youve got to feel everything, youve got to feel the suffering, youve got to feel the happiness, youve got to feel it all and lay it all out in the book.

So, I understand youre already working on the second volume of your memoir. Can you talk about how it will be different from the first volume?

Well, itll be different in the sense that this one is a redemption story. Itll have a brighter ending. Well, actually, I dont know if I can say at the end of my next book: I am sober and my life is fantastic. Everythings great. I dont know if I can do that, but I know its a redemption story in the sense that Im an English professor, Im a writer, Im a painter. So, in that sense, its a redemption story. Im not a gang member. Im not committing violence. Im not hurting people. And this volume is a story about my mother, really. I mean, the title of it is In the Hands of My Mother. Shes going to be the hero of the story. If not for her, Id be dead or in prison. Thats it. And thats what this book reveals. And its going to be an immigrant story. My mom was an immigrant. Her first job was picking celery and tomatoes in the fields in Irvine before Irvine was what it is now. Every time I drive past all those tall buildings, I think how it used to be fields just vast fields of celery and tomatoes and strawberries. And now I see my family picking in those fields. I did, too as a kid, they used to bring us as children. You know, we didnt have babysitters. So, yeah, the immigrant story, a redemption story, a mother-son relationship story. So thats how it would be different.

Do you ever imagine your father reading this book and what would his reaction be? Would he be proud of you?

Damn, James. Thats a good question, man. I think he would be happy. Hed be happy as ugly as I paint him. I think he would grab me by the neck and give me a kiss. Hed say, No te quiro, te amo! Quiero means like and its also interchangeable with love in Spanish, but te amo means I love you to death. And he would often say that to us. He would be proud. I dont think he would want me to change anything, not even the last chapter. Yeah, he would be happy happy and drunk.

James Penner is the editor ofTimothy Leary: The Harvard Years(2014) and the author ofPinks, Pansies, and Punks: The Rhetoric of Masculinity in American Literary Culture(2011).

Link:
Making the Ugly Beautiful: A Conversation with Obed Silva - lareviewofbooks