Category Archives: Polygamy

After taking on the role as youngest son of one of the main characters in the TV series, Under the Banner of Heaven, Beau McHattie from Langdon, has his sights set on bigger roles.

Alberta has attracted some big film and TV productions over the last couple of years, bringing small acting roles and background work to the province.

One local 10-year-old boy from Langdon, Beau McHattie, nabbed a role as the son of one of the main characters in a soon-to-be-released series on Hulu called Under The Banner of Heaven.

The Mormon murder mysteryfeatures the likes of Andrew Garfield, Wyatt Russell, Sam Worthington, Denise Gough, and Rory Culkin. The story of polygamy, delusion, and violence follows the real-life 1984 tragedy of Brenda Lafferty as told by true-crime novelist and journalist Jon Krakauer.

With all of the filming taking place in several locations across southern Alberta, including Calgary, Crossfield, and Rocky View County, it was easy for the McHattie family to be part of the production.

Beaus mother Jayme McHattie noted the farthest they ever travelled for filming was 40 minutes.

It was neat he could do it, but it was also neat that the whole thing was filmed right here, from Vegas sets to Florida sets, she said, adding 40-foot palm trees were brought in for one of the scenes to make it appear they were actually in Florida.

After receiving the opportunity to submit for the role by their agent, Beau auditioned for the part under the assumption it was just for background work.

"And then I crushed that audition, Beau said.

Several days before filming was scheduled to start, their agent called with the news that Beaus background work was cancelled. After some initial disappointment, the agent went on to explain that it was cancelled because he actually had landed the bigger role of Ron Laffertys youngest son.

We were pretty excited. It was overwhelming. We had no idea what we were getting into, Jayme said.

In the series, brothers Ron and Dan Lafferty are both charged with the murder of their sister-in-law Brenda and her infant daughter. Jayme noted that some of Beaus most impactful scenes are with his character's dad, Ron Lafferty, who is played by Sam Worthington.

With a couple of lines throughout the series, Beau can be seen in several scenes of every episode, he said.

His mom noted that he took on some very serious scenes through his role.But though theseries contains some heavy material,the crew always made sure to check in on the kids on set, Jayme explained.

Academy Award-winning filmmaker and series writer for Under the Banner of Heaven, Dustin Lance Black, would often give Beau pointers and go over expectations with him before shooting every scene.

There's a fairly heavy domestic violence scene and Lance and the cast were very aware that it might be a little tough on some of the younger cast members there, Jayme explained. They would just take their time and after each take, they would talk to Beau and make sure that he understood that they're just acting and that nobody is actually getting hurt.

Being on set for what could be 10-hour days, Beau also needed to manage his school work. Thanks to an on-set teacher, he was able to keep up his academics throughout several months of filming.

I was actually pretty nervous until I met the teacher and she was actually really funny and nice, Beau said.

An additional benefit for his family was that Beaus grandpa, who is retired, became his stage person, bringing him to set and staying with him all day. The grandpa-grandson duo allowed his family to continue on with everyday life.

Beaus favourite part of filming was meeting actors includingWorthington, Daisy Edgar-Jones, and Denise Gough, he said.

It was a really cool experience seeing how the shows are actually filmed and how it comes together how the sets come together, and even how the camera's work, Beau said. It's just really awesome.

Beau first became interested in acting when he wanted to be in the show Stranger Things, a science fiction horror drama television series on Netflix. His mom had to explain that Stranger Things was a little out of our realm, and that maybe they could take a look at local productions instead.

The 10-year-old took on a bit of background work the year prior before landing the role on Under the Banner of Heaven.

I just want to be a main character in a movie or a show, he said of his future aspirations. Everyone's gonna know me.

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Langdon youth debuts acting career in Alberta-shot TV series, Under the Banner of Heaven - Airdrie Today

The individual bishops as . . . member[s] of the episcopal college and legitimate successor[s] of the apostles, [are] obliged by Christs institution and command to be solicitous for the whole Church, and this solicitude, though it is not exercised by an act of jurisdiction, contributes greatly to the advantage of the universal Church. For it is the duty of all bishops to promote and to safeguard the unity of faith and the discipline common to the whole Church.

This passage from the Second Vatican Councils Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, Lumen gentium, underscores one of the principal doctrines articulated and developed at the council: the collegiality of bishops with one another and in union with the Bishop of Rome, and the solicitude each is to have for the universal Church, beyond the confines of his own local church.

The councils Decree Concerning the Pastoral Office of Bishops in the Church, Christus Dominus, picks up on this theme with greater specificity:

Inspired by this teaching we have received from the Second Vatican Council, this week I signed A Fraternal Open Letter to Our Brother Bishops in Germany together with seventy other cardinals and bishops from around the world (and the number of signatories is still growing). Because the German Synodal Path departs radically from settled Church doctrine and ancient and well-established discipline, it threatens to cause a schism in the Church, even beyond Germany itself. Our expression of concern is prompted by this threat, especially when we hear leading voices of the Church in Germany rejecting the authority of Scripture and Tradition, in particular with regard to the unbroken teachings of the Church on matters of sexual morality, gender ideology, the sacraments, and the exercise of authority in the Church.

The open letter, then, is an exercise of the collegial episcopal authority given to the Church from Christ, and follows on other recent interventions of members of the College of Bishopsin particular, the Letter of Fraternal Concern from the president of the Polish Bishops Conference to the president of the German Bishops Conference, and the similar letter from the Nordic Bishops Conference. As we reminded our brother bishops in the fraternal open letter:

I signed as the archbishop of San Francisco so the faithful of my own archdiocese may know that I have grave concerns about the action of the German bishops. I signed to be in collegial solidarity with bishops from around the world in opposition to the direction of the Synodal Path of the German church. Through contacts I have with the Church in Germany, I also heard pleas of the faithful Catholics in Germany for support from the Church around the world. To give these faithful German Catholics such support and encouragement is another act of solidarity for the good of the unity and peace of the Church.

In particular, I hope the letter makes it clear that:

To this last point it should be added that all baptized women and men, as a dignity conferred in baptism, exercise the baptismal priesthood, which is a strong foundation of the lay apostolate. The history of the Church is filled with great things achieved by women in promotion of the kingdom of Christ. To suggest that women must be ordained as priests in order to have equality with men in the Church is, ironically, demeaning to women, for it presumes that what has traditionally been exclusively the realm of men is the only measure of dignity or worth, and so whatever is uniquely feminine is inferior. This is a profoundly unchristian view of what equality and complementarity mean in Gods plan of creation and in the ordering of the Church.

I believe that it is no accident that many of the bishops who first spoke out by signing this letter are from Africa, where the Church is growing in spite of (or because of) the firm commitment of the Church there to preserving Christs teachings on sexual morality, even though these are starkly opposed to many African traditional mores (including polygamy). If settled Church doctrine, consistently taught and developed over two millennia, is to be discarded as socially unacceptable, then all the truth claims of the Christian faith collapse. It may seem ironic to some, but it is classical Catholicism that evangelizes. A tepid accommodation to the latest dogmas of secular orthodoxy, on the other hand, cannot be the basis for renewal.

I hope and pray that the German bishops will listen to the Holy Father and their brother bishops and turn from their path of division. The deposit of our Catholic faith cannot be changed, and those who try to change our faith do grave harm to themselves and to the faithful.

Salvatore J. Cordileone is the archbishop of San Francisco.

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Photo by Dennis Callahan, courtesy of the archdiocese of San Francisco.

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Why I Signed the Open Letter to Germany's Bishops | Salvatore J. Cordileone - First Things

If you havent heard of Elwood Gallimore, you can read the factual account of his life and death and the religious debate of the self-appointed Henry County pastor in this past weeks editions of the Bulletin.

What do I call you, I asked Gallimore when I interviewed him back in the 90s.

Call me whatever you want, Gallimore answered.

Id rather you tell me what you would like me to call you, I responded.

Then call me Elwood, Gallimore said.

For two hours we talked, and laughed, and even shared a tear, as I recall. He was passionate, convincing and in every sense of the phrase a good ole boy whom anyone would enjoy in their company.

He believed in and practiced polygamy, the custom of a man to have more than one wife at the same time.

Polygamy was not a taboo subject for Elwood. In fact, he was preaching about it right up until his death. So, regardless of the people who consider a discussion of polygamy with Elwood referenced after his death as disrespectful, I submit, based on my personal knowledge of Elwood, he would not only approve of it, but encourage it.

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Elwood received a bit of national publicity almost 30 years ago when the State Police swooped in and confiscated church tapes of him preaching and charged him with being married twice at the same time.

In an investigation worthy of a Barney Fife blunder, no one but the judge seemed to notice that Elwood only had one marriage certificate. His second marriage was in the eyes of God, Elwood told me.

Ive asked many religious leaders over the years, given their expertise on Bible matters, how Elwoods understanding of polygamy differed from most modern nations who outlaw the practice and most modern religions which condemn it.

The answer has always been consistent:

God permitted polygamy in the days of the Old Testament because it solved a pervasive problem of the time when women, with few exceptions, were uneducated, untrained and depended upon their fathers, brothers and husbands for survival.

Back then unmarried women were most vulnerable to prostitution and slavery.

Polygamy was an act of love and kindness, a selfless act by an authority figure in a dangerous culture that afforded a woman safety and protection.

Beyond that, everyone I spoke to in religious circles said the Bible makes it clear that polygamy was never Gods design for marriage and ideally; God prefers a one-woman man.

In fact, they said the Bible is also clear that the perfect man of God should remain celibate, but given our God-given nature to pursue physical relations with one another, it would be better to marry than remain unmarried.

Just this past weekend I learned that a family member, whom I obviously do not keep up with, has pulled a Caitlyn Jenner.

As I was told, he grew up, married and had two children. Then he became a woman and his wife became a man. His wife, now a man, married another woman, and he is raising his two children as their mother.

Men are becoming women and using their superior athletic ability to break all kinds of records in the womens sports world.

Given our advanced medical abilities to transform the gender of people according to their wishes, there are people born with identities, both physical and mental, that make the man and woman, or male and female concept, a matter of contradiction.

I cant help but wonder what Elwood would say about all of that now.

Since 2015, same-sex marriage has been federally legal in all 50 states due to a ruling from the Supreme Court. In Virginia, a statutory ban on same-sex marriage was repealed in 2020.

Frankly, Im surprised the legality of polygamy has not been an issue since Elwood stirred the pot almost 30 years ago.

Bill Wyatt is a reporter for the Martinsville Bulletin. He can be reached at 276-638-8801, Ext. 2360. Follow him @billdwyatt.

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The virtues of a one-woman man | Columnists | martinsvillebulletin.com - Martinsville Bulletin

Four months ago, in early December, my cousins husband, Bashi Malama*, took off and disappeared into thin air without notice.

Two months later, word came that he had been spotted alive and well at a house in a nearby township; this is to say, in plain language, that he was staying with another woman.

We broke the news to the wife, Bana Malama*, who responded with just one word: bakabwela (he will come back), and continued eating, unbothered.

We repeated the information, taking turns, just in case she hadnt heard us correctly: Bana Malama, your husband, Bashi Malama, to whom you are married, who we thought was in danger, is living with another woman, sharing the same bed at a place not so far from here.

The second response was even shorter: So?

In collective anger and bewilderment, we stopped talking to her for a couple of days. When that didnt yield the result we wanted, we conjured up stories which we loudly shared of husband A who ended up marrying a second wife, husband B who never returned home, husband C who brought home STIs. That wife D beat up the other woman, and wife E left her philandering man and landed herself a prince in shining armour. None of these stories permeated Bana Malama.

Last week, Bashi Malama returned unannounced and as silently as he had left. Bana Malama neither welcomed or unwelcomed him; the two just slipped back into pre-disappearance norms.

Lived experience has turned Bana Malama into a social scientist. Over the years, she has observed social phenomena, examined patterns, analysed trends and looked at outcomes before arriving at her scientific conclusion: Bakabwela he will come back.

Bana Malama believes in three things. The first one is that all men, without exception, are polygamous. The second is that all women, without exception, cannot stop the first thing. The third is that each woman must either take it or leave it nothing in between. She has chosen to take it.

I have in the past written fervently about polygamy. The premise for my argument was and still firmly remains that polygamy is natural, and that monogamy is a social construct, a learned behaviour. Monogamy, the sexual commitment to only one partner at a time, till death do us part is not achievable for most men, except for a few (God bless them). The reasons abound, and I will not belabour them here.

My views have drawn sharp and often contrasting responses from men and women. The latter accuse me of promoting promiscuity, with some offering to pray for me because the the devil is using you. The former have largely been agreeable, others even sharing detailed experiences, mostly about wanting but struggling to stay monogamous.

I stand by my argument: all men are polygamous. Those who are not, are due to resolve and self-control, while the rest are a matter of time and opportunity.

A study by Conley et al. (2012) in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, 9, 1559-1565 observed that those who consider themselves monogamous are not always sexually faithful, are unlikely to use condoms during their outside sexual encounter, and are unlikely to inform their partners, in keeping with their self-image of being monogamous.

The study concluded that unprotected monogamy is riskier than condom protected promiscuity. Therefore, as a strategy for preventing sexually transmitted infections, condom use is a much safer option than monogamy, which has a high rate of failure.

Am I suggesting that there are no men out there in Zambia, the rest of Africa and the world who are not monogamous? No. I want to believe that they are there, and if they are, they know themselves.

One of my girlfriends has sworn never to date an African man again, because they cheat on you and mess you up big time; I am now doing Europeans only, she declared, buying into the myth all too common among some African women that Caucasian men, unlike black men, are predisposed to monogamy. No use trying to convince her that the European stock of men are not exactly cleansed of polygamous urges, contrary to Western popular culture, which portrays them as a faithful-loving-feminised-domesticated lot.

Repeatedly, I have been asked whether I would marry into or be in a polygamous relationship; a contemptuous question pretending to be philosophical, if you ask me.

I must perhaps reflect on the advice of Bana Malama, too wise for her age, in particular, her second premise, that no woman, without exception, can stop a man, other than himself, from dreaming of, fantasising about, wanting to and having sex with more than one woman. But it is her third premise, her advice to women, which I find most arbitrary, profound, brutal, wise and conclusive: take it or leave it.

It is what it is, folks! When you know, you know.

In my painstaking conclusion, a monogamous man is an indulgence, a wish list, a construct, a lottery win, the privilege of a select few women and less of an inalienable right of every woman.

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Monogamy is a social construct - Mail and Guardian

Doomed from the start. That phrase neatly describes the Apollo 13 mission, which launched this day in 1970, and the ongoing Covid-19 vaccination effort in the U.S. Yet both can be seen as successful failures.

When astronauts James Lovell, John Jack Swigert, and Fred Haise blasted off from the Kennedy Space Center, they were anticipating mankinds third trip to the surface of the moon. Two days into the mission, a defective oxygen tank exploded when they were some 200,000 miles away from Earth, imperiling their lives and making it impossible to complete their mission. Around-the-clock efforts by teams on the ground, imbued with NASA ingenuity, helped the astronauts return safely to Earth in what was nothing short of a miracle. Our mission was a failure, Lovell wrote later, but I like to think it was a successful failure.

We see parallels with Covid-19: a mission doomed from the start that has managed to eke out some successes.

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More than two years into the pandemic, its clear that the country has failed its primary mission of saving lives. The U.S. is now approaching a devastating 1 million deaths from Covid-19, an incomprehensible loss of life. But within this massive failure there has been a public health success: The tireless work, ingenuity, and collective action of scientists, public health practitioners, and clinicians in both the public and private spheres reminiscent of what NASA scientists and engineers did, but on a much larger scale has led to what is arguably the single most successful vaccination program in U.S. history.

Months before Covid-19 emerged in December 2019, the Global Health Security Index indicated that no country was really prepared for a pandemic. Although the U.S. was deemed most prepared, its capabilities could not compensate for the many shortcomings of its health care and public health systems. These are the same shortcomings that have consistently led the countrys health care system to rank last among high-income countries: incomplete access to care, glaring inequities, insufficient public health resources and infrastructure, and mistrust in both government and industry, to name a few. There was no reason to think the pandemic would solve these problems. Indeed, it made many of them worse and also created new ones.

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But the vaccines their development, manufacture, and widespread uptake have been a massive success. As we write this, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 88% of American adults have received at least one dose of a Covid-19 vaccine and 75% have been fully vaccinated, a higher Covid-19 vaccination rate than other non-mandatory vaccines have reached after being around for decades.

This means that in the span of about 18 months, some 227 million adults voluntarily got vaccinated despite the time it took to arrange an appointment, the discomfort, the likelihood of minor side effects like a sore arm or flu-like symptoms, and the uncertain likelihood of more serious side effects from the most rapidly developed vaccine of all time.

We know it might be hard to view any part of the Covid-19 pandemic response as a success. At times it feels impossible to think weve done anything right when Americans continue to spread SARS-CoV-2 and die from Covid-19 every day. The work is by no means done, and there are substantial gaps in vaccination coverage among adults, particularly when it comes to booster doses and younger populations.

Yet when rates of adult Covid-19 vaccination are compared to rates of vaccination against other vaccine-preventable illnesses, the U.S. has done remarkably well in a short amount of time: More American adults have received a two-dose Covid series since it became available than are current on their once-every-10-years tetanus boosters (about 70.5% of the adult population is up to date). Many more adults have been vaccinated against Covid than get vaccinated against influenza, where were lucky to see even half of the adult population vaccinated in a given year.

Eighty-eight percent is a simple statistic, but simple figures can reveal a lot about broader trends. For points of reference, a higher percentage of U.S. adults have had at least one dose of the Covid-19 vaccine than, according to Gallup, drink alcohol (60%); use Google (74%) in a typical week; find polygamy unacceptable (78%); or send their kids to public schools (83%). And despite the saying as American as apple pie, only 19% of Americans actually rate apple pie as their favorite, making Covid vaccination more American than apple pie at least by the numbers.

There are few things Americans appear to agree on more than Covid vaccination, though two key issues have clearly been settled: The Wizard of Oz was a classic (89%) and Gigli probably should never have been made (94%).

It was by no means certain that Covid-19 vaccination would become a widely accepted part of American life in less than a year and a half. This should be viewed as an important public health accomplishment a success within the countrys broader failure. Why? Surveys indicate that self-preservation and self-interest seem to be the major drivers as people make decisions to get vaccinated meaning public health messaging has helped many Americans see through widespread disinformation, fearmongering, and conspiracy theories to understand their own risks and take the appropriate action to lower them.

But the sense of duty that serves as a primary motivator for some and a secondary motivator for many more cant be discounted. Concerns about externalities an economic term that refers to the effects an individuals decisions has on others are at the core of this sense of duty and are what make getting vaccinated not just a privately beneficial decision but a patriotic one, even when promoting the public good isnt the primary motivator and even when people dont necessarily view it this way. Indeed, one study has shown that a sense of purpose can be a motivator of vaccination decisions.

If we were to ask the NASA workers whose tireless efforts brought Lovell, Swigert, and Haise back home, we imagine that self-interest wanting to keep their job would have been one motivator. But other motivations that kept them working through sleepless nights would surely have included a sense of duty, purpose, and even patriotism.

Patriotism in America is about coming together under common threads and common values. More than 40 million people watched television to see if the Apollo 13 astronauts would make it back to Earth safely. When they did, a New York Times reporter wrote that the events in all probability united the world in mutual concern more fully than another successful landing on the moon would have.

If there is any indication of Americans mutual concern for our national health and well-being, it could very well be the 88% of us who have received Covid-19 vaccinations.

To be sure, uptake of Covid-19 vaccines in the U.S. has not been as high as in other countries, including countries like Brazil or Vietnam that have far fewer resources than the U.S. And its certainly worth making comparisons between the U.S. and countries that have outperformed it to learn whatever public health lessons this pandemic has to offer. But it is also important to consider what might have happened had the U.S. not achieved the high levels of vaccination it did.

Its also tempting to point to divisiveness within the country as a sign of failure and, in particular, for the vaccinated to view the unvaccinated as paying no price for their decisions and being inconsiderate of their duty to their community and their country. Lies and misinformation have fueled very loud critics of scientifically undisputed infection-control measures, while assumptions about the character of the unvaccinated have led to vitriolic, misplaced accusations about entire groups of people.

While we personally think that our unvaccinated and undervaccinated neighbors could be doing more, extreme views are pervasive and ignore an important reality: We have all made sacrifices or done something other than getting vaccinated that supports our communities during the pandemic, whether its working an essential job with higher risk of infection, managing family life disruptions from social distancing and infection control measures, or helping neighbors that have been hit hard financially by economic disruptions. While most Americans now have some degree of biological immunity against Covid-19, none of us has been immune to the social and economic tolls of the pandemic. And, sadly, many more unvaccinated Americans have paid the ultimate price death from Covid-19 than vaccinated Americans since vaccines became widely available

Public health wont be taking days off for the foreseeable future, nor will doctors and nurses and caregivers. Many of them are running on fumes, though some want to stop. Lets not lose sight of the success buried within this larger failure and take a moment to recognize a truly remarkable achievement: 255 million (and counting!) people children, adults, our neighbors and friends have bettered their country by getting Covid-19 vaccinations.

Christopher M. Worsham is a pulmonologist and critical care physician at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and an instructor in medicine at Harvard Medical School. Anupam B. Jena is an internal medicine physician at Massachusetts General Hospital, an associate professor of health care policy at Harvard Medical School, a faculty research fellow at the National Bureau of Economic Research, and host of the Freakonomics, MD podcast.

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The 'successful failures' of Apollo 13 and Covid-19 vaccination - STAT

Gone are the days of one man and one woman being the only definition of what a relationship can look like. Which is great, of course, because as we know, there are a whole lot of ways to show and experience love, most of which transcend traditional (and outdated, tbh) views on gender and sexuality. And while the ever-evolving landscape of relationships is v exciting, it can also get a little confusing, especially since a lot of terms sound similar. Take polygamy vs. polyamory, for example. The romantic labels may look almost identical, but they mean two very different things.

Polyamory is the state, practice, or orientation of having multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved, explains Heath Schechinger, PhD, a counseling psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley. Polygamy refers to being married to multiple spouses at the same time.

In both cases, there are multiple partners or love interests involved, notes holistic sex educator, coach, and host of The Labia Lounge podcast, Freya Graf. This is where the poly prefixwhich means many in Greekcomes in, she explains.

But despite what they have in common, there are actually a lot of differences between polygamy and polyamory. And since polyamory is becoming more popular in mainstream media and modern dating, its important to know what poly partnerships are all about and the ways in which they're different.

From their histories, to their cultural reception, to how to have a happy and healthy non-monogamous relationship, we reached out to experts for all you need to know about polygamy and polyamory.

Since polyamory and polygamy look very similar on paper, it can be hard to remember what they each mean, but the distinction is important because theyre culturally quite different, says Schechinger. Essentially:

Polyamory = having multiple *consensual* romantic/intimate relationships at once. Its an intentional type of non-monogamy conducted in a loving, considerate, mature, and respectful container with guidelines that all parties involved agree upon and communicate clearly about, says Graf. The genders and sexual orientations of partners arent prescribed.

Polygamy = another form of non-monogamy where one person has multiple spouses. Polygyny describes when a man has multiple wedded wives, and polyandry refers to a woman having wedded husbands, explains Schechinger. Typically, polygamy refers to cisgender heterosexual men being married to multiple cisgender women.

Furthermore, polygamywhich is illegal in the United Stateswas (and sometimes can still be) practiced by some cultures and religions hundreds of years ago, including in Islam and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Polyamory has no historical ties to religion.

Polyamory is rooted in feminism, gender equity, and flat power structures, while polygamy is rooted in religious fundamentalism and complementarianism where men and women are prescribed different but complementary roles and responsibilities in the marriage, family, and religious leadership, Schechinger explains.

Sometimes! Just like how every monogamous relationship is different, so are polygamous and polyamorous relationships. While open relationships are culturally more similar to polyamory than polygamy, the difference typically refers to the emotional component, Graf says.

In poly setups, there may be multiple long-term, committed, deeply loving and invested relationships, [whereas] in an open relationship there exists a freedom to explore sexually with others but usually involves boundaries about becoming emotionally involved or attached to any lovers outside of the primary couple, she explains.

So open relationships focus more on the physical side of things and typically dont involve anything emotional outside of the core relationship, while poly partnerships are usually both physical and emotional. That doesnt mean a polyamorous or polygamous family cant also be open, but being in an open relationship is a separate concept.

According to both Graf and Schechinger, there are a lot of reasons why someone might want to venture into consensual poly territory. For some, its about being more authentic to themselves. For others, its about wanting to expand their network of support. And, for some, its also about sex.

For the overwhelming majority, however, being in a consensually non-monogamous relationship is about being honest, meeting other like-minded people, improving the quality of romantic relationships, and getting to know oneself better, Schechinger explains.

Also, humans arent actually naturally wired to be monogamous, notes Graf, so many people struggle to remain faithful or continue to be satisfied in one monogamous relationship. Polyamory allows them to be consensually true to themselves and their desires.

Polyamory is more accepted in western culture than polygamy is. According to Graf, this is because polyamory typically isnt religion-based, and usually stems from a mutual arrangement centered around informed consent. Polyamory done right involves an incredible amount of respect, mature communication, healthy and clear boundaries, love and commitment." Its easier for modern progressives to accept and understand that" over the concept of polygamy, says Graf.

On the flip side, Graf says polygamy is often considered sexiest, unethical, and even barbaric in western society because its more common for polygamy to mean one man having multiple wives. In fact, while Schechinger says polygamy is legal in over 50 sovereign states worldwide, in most of them, polygyny (multiple wedded wives) is allowed but polyandry (multiple legal husbands) is illegal.

That said, some cultural traditions and religious practices are deeply ingrained in the people who believe in them, and we can't possibly understand it fully from the outside, says Graf. And while polyamory is starting to become more accepted in our society (and TV), Schechinger notes polyamorous partnerships still face many obstacles, such as a lack of the financial benefits couples receive, barriers that prevent adoption, restrictive healthcare, and career and housing discrimination.

Furthermore, Schechinger says polyamorous couples who *do* want to marry have to fight the laws currently in place to protect against non-consensual polygamy. Advocates are seeking solutions to maintain the appropriate protections while not discriminating against consenting adults, he says, but its still another hard hurdle polygamous couples experience.

Despite the whole more people are involved thing, Schechinger says polyamorous relationships arent all that different from monogamous relationships. People in both monogamous and polyamorous relationships highlight the following relationship elements as most important: community and family, sex, love, trust and authenticity, communication, and commitment, he says.

While all polyamorous relationships are different, Graf says setting clear and consensual conditions and ground rules is the common foundation. Typically, working polyamorous relationships also involve regular check-ins, communication, emotionally involved and ongoing connections (rather than casual sex), and full disclosure when a new person comes onto the scene, she says.

Some polyamorous relationships involve a primary couple that has outside secondary relationships, while other poly relationships are simply one primary relationship that involves more than two people with no outside relationships. Theres no wrong way to poly as long as everyones 100 percent on board!

If ethical non-monogamy sounds right for you, both pros say there are quite a few things to consider before opening up your twosome or joining an established relationship. First, its a good idea to gather information and learn all you can about polyamory. Read books like The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton, talk to licensed sex therapists or mental health professionals, and think about why you want a non-monogamous relationship.

Once you have your bearings, start discussing what this would look like in the context of your relationship, suggests Schechinger. You and your partner(s) dont have to be drawn to polyamory for the same reasons, and it is important to be curious and considerate of your partners desires, he says. Keep the conversation non-judgmental.

In fact, while setting ground rules and consistently checking in is essential, Grafs main piece of advice for anyone wanting to explore polyamory is to work on their communication skills. Even though your mind understands that polyamory can be natural and great, you're up against a lifetime of conditioning and socialization,'' she says. It's big stuff and it's not for the faint-hearted It can be the best thing ever, but it's also hard work!

So no matter where you fall on the spectrum of monogamy, know that there is a place for you and your partners(s) if you're willing to do the work it takes to communicate openly and honestly. There are tons of different relationship styles, and understanding them is crucial toward building a more inclusive, less judgmental society where everyone can have exactly the kind of relationship they want and deserve.

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Polygamy vs. Polyamory - What's the Difference? - Cosmopolitan

Open House: The Great Sex Experiment10pm, Channel 4

Gird your loins: heres a dating show that hopes to break the taboo around polyamory. Each week, curious couples are invited to a swinging party, where they can ask others to join them for the night. Along the way, they talk things through with an intimacy therapist, Dr Lori Beth. First up, Mady and Nathan are looking for a throuple situation, but will they go through with it? The nightcam action is pretty awkward, but it does show the reality of what happens in such situations. Hollie Richardson

This documentary might have been put together quickly, but it paints a clear picture of what led to the invasion of Ukraine. Picking up from the moment Vladimir Putins national security team voted in favour of the war, Russia-born journalist Julia Ioffe says: It felt like they were dancing bears performing for their master, who is impossible to please. Quite. HR

Ordinary life takes centre stage in Grayson Perrys extraordinary (and delightfully singular) arts show this week. The comedian Joe Wilkinson crafts a piece inspired by normal life, while Cornelia Parker famed for her oversized installations discusses how art can electrify the everyday. Henry Wong

Secrets and lies in the 50s-set crime drama tonight. A member of the Rev Will Davenports congregation is found murdered in the run-up to a church fundraiser. But the victim was an upstanding member of the community wasnt he? Ali Catterall

The gritty, sexy German adaptation of Thomas Pletzingers thriller continues with a double bill. Tuuli gives birth on 11 September 2001, while there are doubts about whether Felix is being dead. HR

Could Lee Mack be the new Tom Cruise? After he inadvertently sends an insulting text to uptight Anna, the usually listless Lee has to stage an escalating series of heists la Mission: Impossible to try to delete the message. A raunchy farce with a road-tested one-liner for every daft incident. Graeme Virtue

Punch-Drunk Love (Paul Thomas Anderson, 2002), IMDb TVLong before he wowed with Oscar contender Licorice Pizza, Paul Thomas Andersons way with a romantic comedy was evident in this quirky 2002 film. Adam Sandler stars as the diffident Barry, who runs a small firm that has something to do with plungers. His seven sisters boss him around, which leads to comic explosions of rage. Then, one sibling introduces him to Lena (Emily Watson) who has slightly bizarrely fallen for him. Sandler brings his talent for physical comedy to a sweet caper that incorporates phone sex, a harmonium, multiple chocolate desserts and a shouty cameo from Philip Seymour Hoffman as an ineffective blackmailer. Simon Wardell

The Many Saints of Newark (Alan Taylor, 2021), 12.40pm, 8pm, Sky Cinema PremiereDavid Chase returns to the world of The Sopranos with a Tony Soprano origin story. The 1967 Newark race riots in New Jersey are the spur to investigate the formative teenage years of Tony (played by Michael Gandolfini, son of James) and his relationship with his violent mobster uncle Dickie Moltisanti (Alessandro Nivola), Christophers father. Rivalry between the areas Italian and black gangs brings a new dimension to the mafia family dramas, but theres lots for fans of the TV show to savour, particularly a younger but already petrifying Livia (Vera Farmiga). SW

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (Desiree Akhavan, 2018) 9pm, BBC ThreeThe horrors of gay conversion therapy are damningly laid out in Desiree Akhavans compelling drama, set in 1993. Chlo Grace Moretz is the titular teenager, caught with a girlfriend and sent to a Christian camp, Gods Promise, to cure her of her gender confusion. The counsellors, led by Jennifer Ehles Dr March, are more hidebound by religious dogma than actively evil, but still have an increasingly disturbing effect on their fragile charges. Luckily, Cameron befriends Jane (Sasha Lane) and Adam (Forest Goodluck), whose fortitude gives her hope. SW

This article was amended on 1 April 2022 to refer to polyamory rather than polygamy in relation to Open House.

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TV tonight: what really goes on in a polyamorous relationship? - The Guardian

OGDEN, Utah (ABC4) Ogdens Own, Utahs largest independent distillery and award-winning leading producer of craft spirits is excited to announce the release of its 2022 Five Husbands vodka.

The distillery is known for its unique expressions of playful satire targeting Utah stereotypes. As a take on the companys Five Wives Vodka, which pokes fun at polygamy, Ogdens Own introduced Five Husbands Vodka for the first time in 2019 as a Pride Month special release. The product was embraced so much by consumers that the distillery has decided to make it a year-round offering, celebrating the LGBTQ+ community every day of the year.

As of March 22, Ogdens Own has announced the selection of its Five Husband search. The five representatives will be featured on this years edition of the Five Husbands Vodka bottle. The group, carefully selected by the Ogdens Own team to showcase their dedication to improving LGBTQ+ equality and visibility, represents a plethora of diverse backgrounds depictive of the LGBTQ+ community.

It was a very difficult decision as we were very fortunate to receive more responses than we anticipated for this years label, said Mark Fine, President and CEO of Ogdens Own Distillery. In selecting the Five Husbands, we didnt just want it to be about a person who specifically identifies as a Husband, but a person who is authentically themselves and part of the rich tapestry that makes up the LGBTQ+ community.

From left to right, the bottles label will feature Madazon Can-Can, Bryce Jackson, Matt Easton, Chef Bryan Woolley, and Christian Harvey.

Can-Can, a non-binary transmasculine person, has been faced with fear and rejection throughout their life as many find their feminine and masculine persona hard to understand.

I have been involved in the (Queer) community primarily through work as a Burlesque and Drag King which also allows me to raise awareness through performance art. I teach Drag King classes inspiring others to develop a new skill, but to also facilitate a band of brothers that would support each other building a community of authenticity and offering a variety of drag in every gendered and non-gendered expression, said Can-Can.

Jackson is the co-founder of Stonewall Sports, an LGBTQ+ not-for-profit sports league with over 1,300 members. In regards to the organization, Jackson noted, This adult league brings back memories for many of not feeling included in sports growing up but now taking ownership and having fun. Many of the teams meet up outside of the league for dinners, movie nights, and just good old-fashioned fun.

Easton, a Utah native and seventh-generation Mormon, came out publicly during his 2019 valedictorian speech at BYU. Currently, he is working on earning his Ph.D. in political science at Berkeley.

My speech gathered a lot more attention than I initially thought it would and I ended up going on The Ellen Show, Ru Pauls Talk Show, and Good Morning America to talk about my experience being gay at BYU. It has allowed me to springboard into the world of LBTQ+ activism, working on improving the treatment of queer people at BYU and the Mormon church, said Easton. My first alcoholic experience was actually drinking Five Wives Vodka and cranberry! he recalls.

Woolley is an American Celebrity Chef, television personality, and operatic singer most known for his daily 30-minute cooking segment that airs on a local CBS affiliate, Cooking with Chef Bryan.

If I could inspire and save just one person in knowing that being who they are is fine, then this is a success. I am passionate about my career as a chef and have made many friends allowingme to travel and speak with wonderful people with shared interests, said Woolley.

Harvey, better known by his stage name Hoe Shi Minh is SLCs only Vietnamese performer. The stage personality, well-seasoned with many years of musical theater studies, hosts numerous LQBTQ+ shows around the city inspiring others to share their same zest for life while embracing who they really are.

When I attend Asian-American functions I represent the queer communityand when I am involved with LGBTQ+ events I represent the Asian community. I am proud to be part of both, Harvey said.

Ogdens Own has proudly supported the LGBTQ+ community since its establishment in 2009. The organization has been the official alcohol sponsor of the Utah Pride Festival for several years now and has community ties to various local LGBTQ+ organizations like Equality Utah and the Utah Pride Center.

A portion of the Five Husband Vodka sale profits will be donated to support LGBTQ+ causes, and the bottle is expected to hit shelves in May, just in time for pride month.

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Ogdens Own supports LGBTQ+ with Five Husbands Vodka - ABC4.com

Islam is not hostile to the concept of family planning and it is mere "propaganda" that Muslims can overtake Hindus in terms of population numbers, former chief election commissioner S Y Quraishi said on Monday.

There are several myths being spread about the Muslim population in India which are creating hostility among the Hindus against the Muslims, Quraishi said during a discussion on his book 'The Population Myth: Islam, Family Planning and Politics in India' at the India International Centre here.

Listing the "myths" about the Muslim population in India, he said one of them is that they produce too many children and are solely responsible for the population explosion.

"Yes Muslims have the lowest levels of family planning (FP) -- only 45.3 per cent. Their total fertility rate (TFR) is 2.61 which is the highest. But the fact that Hindus are not far behind, with second-lowest FP at 54.4 per cent, and second-highest TFR of 2.13, is completely missed," Quraishi said.

Quraishi said it is also a myth that the Muslim population growth is upsetting the demographic balance.

The demographic ratio of India indeed shows an increase in Muslims from 9.8 per cent in 1951 to 14.2 per cent in 2011, and a decline in Hindus from 84.2 per cent to 79.8 per cent, but this is an increase of 4.4 percentage points in 60 years, he pointed out.

Asserting that Muslims are adopting family planning faster than Hindus, he said the gap in their number of children is narrowing.

Pointing out that another propaganda is that there is an organised conspiracy by Muslims to overtake the Hindu population to capture political power, he said no Muslim leader or scholar has asked Muslims to produce more children to overtake Hindus.

Citing a mathematical model by professors Dinesh Singh, former Delhi University Vice Chancellor, and Ajay Kumar, he said Muslims can "never" overtake Hindus.

Busting another "myth", he said it is wrong to state that Muslims use polygamy for increasing population as a government study in 1975 found that all communities had some polygamy but the Muslims were the least polygamous.

He said there is a general misconception that Islam encourages polygamy but the reality, however, is different.

Polygamy is also statistically not possible in India as the gender ratio (only 924 women per 1,000 men) does not permit it.

Asserting that Islam is not against family planning, Quraishi said nowhere has the Quran prohibited family planning and there are only interpretations -- both for and against.

Numerous verses of Quran and citations from Hadith emphasise quality over numbers, health of women and children and right of children to good upbringing.

Islam is not only not opposed to family planning but in fact is the pioneer of the concept, he said.

Former Jammu and Kashmir governor N N Vohra, former health secretary K Sujatha Rao and The Population Foundation of India Executive Director Poonam Muttreja also participated in the book discussion.

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Muslims can overtake Hindus in terms of numbers just propaganda, can never happen: Quraishi - Deccan Herald

Ill never forget when I saw The Book of Mormon musical. Sitting elbow-to-elbow with people in a Boston theater, I made sure to watch the audience as much as the stage, keeping an eye on what other people would laugh about. As the play progressed, I chuckled along, letting the catchy songs get stuck in my head. Though a few moments made me cringe, I didnt outright hate it. How open-minded I am, I commended myself. I can take a joke. But in the pit of my stomach, I felt some unease and I couldnt quite place why.

Over a decade later, I can now identify the reason.

Im Mormon through and through, and when I say that, I refer to a distinct culture. Cultural Mormonism exists alongside the religion, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The name sometimes gets abbreviated to LDS, though this and the word Mormon are terms the official institution is trying to distance from (one reason being that people conflate mainstream LDS religion and culture with the fundamentalist movement, the FLDS church, which splintered off in the early 20th century because they wanted to continue polygamy.)

My third- and second-great grandparents left Europe and trekked across the plains to reach a spiritual refuge in Utah. Some died or buried children in frozen earth as they fled from an extermination order in Missouri, and their collective narratives, along with their recipes for Jell-O salad and funeral potatoes, make up my family tapestry. I grew up having sleepovers with my cousins while my grandma told us stories and delivering dinners with my mom to people who had just lost their jobs or had a baby. Mormons rarely need to hire movers, and Ive hefted countless U-Haul boxes for incomers to and outgoers from the neighborhood. Whether Im traveling in Peru or Liberia, Italy or India, Ive been able to slip into a church service and listen to familiar hymns sung in different languages. My community, like anyone elses community, is vibrant, fraught, and complex.

Ive met my share of over-eager missionaries like the ones depicted in TheBook of Mormon musical, sure. (Proselytizing isnt my personal cup of herbal tea. Im more of the you do you, and I do me type.) But for every nave nineteen-year-old proselyte Ive met as well as Trump fans, mistresses of the patriarchy, and number-crunching men in suits Ive known dozens of other types of Mormons who you rarely, if ever, hear about.

The outside world seems obsessed with painting us as caricatures. But the Mormons I know are queer Mormons and Mormon allies, international Mormons and BIPOC Mormons who speak truth to power about the racism they experience. They attend church in addition to honor ceremonies for their Native American elders, or draw strength from Taiwanese ancestors and funeral rites to mourn miscarriages. The Mormons I know host podcasts or write their own cutting-edge social justice interpretations of scripture. They can be devout church-goers; taking a break Mormons; Mormon atheists; and people who identify as Mormon-ish, post-Mormon or the more distancing ex-Mo. The Mormons I know open art galleries in Manhattan that go well beyond devotional illustrations. They are libertarians, conservatives, liberals, socialists, and Marxists. They are average people with 9-5 jobs who, in the face of violence against Black bodies or policies banning immigrants, form organizations like Mormon Women For Ethical Government.

The person credited with saying, Well-behaved women seldom make history? That wasnt Eleanor Roosevelt that was my friend, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, a Pulitzer Prize-winning historian who makes excellent raisin cookies and who also happens to be Mormon. I serve as Editor in Chief of Exponent II, a Mormon feminist magazine founded by Ulrich and others back in 1974. Yet when I use the word Mormon and feminist in the same sentence with outsiders, I see their eyes grow at the seeming contradiction. The Mormons I know wrestle against patriarchy and celebrate a female deity in Mormon doctrine, even while some church leadership members push back by calling Her too sacred to talk about. The Mormons I know pray to Her anyway, exploring the evocative concept of the feminine divine through essays, painting, or poetry, because Who can excommunicate a poem?

You wouldnt recognize everyday Mormons, given some mainstream depictions of us. If were not being made the butt of the joke like in The Book of Mormon musical then were usually presented as a nefarious, creepy cult with a sensationalist obsession with polygamy. In popular TV shows, such as Big Love and Sister Wives, the lines between the LDS and FLDS are blurred. From Netflixs Murder Among the Mormons, where one sociopathic con artist kills two people, to Jon Krakauers book Under the Banner of Heaven (soon coming out as a TV series that has the Mormon community abuzz), this lumping together in our collection consciousness of the LDS and FLDS religions is incredibly popular and incredibly misleading.

For every dramatic caricature rendered by outsiders for the masses, real people like me have to reckon with the fallout and entrenched stereotypes: whether it means one more new acquaintance asking me how many moms I grew up with or being asked to explain the concept of magic underwear. Modern Mormons have so many other stories, universal and urgent, to tell.

For me, a defining moment came when I watched a Stephen Colbert episode about Mitt Romney (speaking of a popular Mormon archetype). I zeroed in on a joke Colbert made about Romney taking a sip of coffee that he thought was decaf, a reference to Mormonisms health code. But orthodox Mormons dont drink decaf coffee, either.

At that moment, I paused the video. This wasnt about coffee, which I couldnt care less about debating. It was about representation. In this modern world, when else would we feel comfortable representing a minority religion without conducting even a basic sensitivity check? Or easier, a simple Google search? My stomach twisted. I recognized the code-switching I had done for years, the way in which I forgave blatantly prejudicial stereotyping with a laugh and took it as a compliment that people even recognized us.

Im no longer laughing.

Its 2022. Outsiders will likely still create a steady diet of exoticizing content, but for every comedic farce, polygamy drama, and murder mystery (no matter how attractive the lead actor heres looking at you, Andrew Garfield), I hope the world learns to make space for the spectrum of other Mormon stories out there worth hearing. Like any other religion or community, we are no monolith. Our truth, pain, and experiences in our own words matter.

Rachel Rueckert is a Utah-born writer and recent graduate of Columbias MFA program. She is writing a coming-of-age memoir about her fraught and sometimes humorous reckoning with the concept of eternal marriage in Mormonism

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Im a feminist Mormon. Almost everything youve heard about my culture is wrong - The Independent