Category Archives: Polygamy

King Westt, son of the former National Union of Road Transport Workers chairman, MC Oluomo, has sparked speculations and reactions on Instagram after he made a passionate appeal to men who intend to dabble in polygamy.

In a post sighted online, Westt disclosed that the only way to avoid future problems is to stay married to just one woman.

In his words:

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Meanwhile, the ex-Lagos state chairman of NURTW, MC Oluomo had earlier celebrated adding another year to his age.

MC Oluomo shared a lovely no sound video of himself on Instagram and said some amazing things to praise himself. He also thanked God for the new age.

The socialite reflected on the past, grateful to God for the present, and remained optimistic about what is coming as he declared that the outgone year was a challenging one for him.

Source: Legit.ng

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Avoid Problems for Your Future: MC Oluomo's Son King Westt Passionately Begs Men to Marry Just 1 Wife - Legit.ng

It makes sense why "what is monogamy?" feels like a trick question, considering how it's been culturally, socially, and systematically ingrained into our modern, Westernized understanding and definition of relationships. But just because it's the majority norm and narrative doesn't mean it's the only way to be romantically involved with another person.

Throw it back to the very foundation of the United States which, despite the separation of church and sate, was largely based on religion. "Observance of Christian-model monogamy was made to stand for customary boundaries in society, morality, and civilization; [it] became a synecdoche for everything valued in the American way of life," explains historian Nancy Cott, PhD, professor of American History at Harvard University in her book Public Vows: A History of Marriage.

Basically, religious underpinnings lingered and influenced culture, making monogamous, single-partner marriages the prevailing norm and social narrative for relationships. Similarly, most of the systems in the U.S. today are built upon the structure of monogamy.

Take your tax documents, for instance. "There isn't a tax structure for three parents or three or four people in a relationship," says Dr. Jenni Skyler, PhD, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and director of The Intimacy Institute. "It was constructed for a monogamous couple."

There's also a biological component to why you were taught that monogamy is the right way to have a relationship: the need to feel safe and survive. "The sense of securityemotionally, logistically, and financiallythat a two-person household brings to the family is a key component in terms of what has been the norm for a while," explains Dr. Skyler.

And of course, you can't forget about the long-standing shame and stigma surrounding other relationship types. Being in a relationship construct that's not the majority feels othering, Skyler says. When it comes to non-monogamous relationships, "we're still catching up to that being an understandable and accepted option in our culture and society," she adds.

Nowadays, "people are becoming more conscious of the kind of relationship structure that they want to be in, and which one they'll thrive in," says Dr. Megan Fleming, PhD, a sex and relationship expert based in New York City. Ultimately, it's your own decision to choose monogamy or a different kind of relationship.

You can look at monogamy in two ways: clinically, and culturally. Clinically, monogamy is having one partner for life, explains Skyler. Some religious people decide to wait for marriage and never date anyone except the person they marry.

But culturally, monogamy is defined as sexual and emotional exclusivity and only being with one partner at a time.

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While monogamy appears to be the most common relationship style in the U.S., various cultures and societies around the world don't carry out the practice. Polygamy is widespread in a cluster of countries in West and Central Africa, including Burkina Faso, Mali, and Nigeria, according to a Pew Research Study. TLC's reality series, Sister Wives, has followed the polygamist Brown family from Utah around since 2010 as well.

And in the true clinical sense where monogamy is mating for life, "very few of us actually do that," says Skyler. "What we do is serial monogamy, where we date one person exclusively, break up, then date another person exclusively."

So, if you look at it that way, you're actually not really designed for true monogamy, Skyler adds. "We're designed to evaluate many people before we sort of settle down and then we're designed to shift and change and need different things."

The exact opposite of monogamy is non-monogamy, meaning no exclusivityemotionally and/or sexuallyin a relationship. Ethical, or consensual, non-monogamy (ENM) is an established transparency and agreement between partners to have more than one romantic or sexual partner at the same time. "It's not cheating; rather [it's] an intentional part of the relationship, so there are no secrets and no going behind backs," says Skyler.

You might've noticed ENM or other kinds of open relationship structures rise in popularity. "As there's more visibility in society, social media, and news, people realize it's a relationship option to consider," Skyler says of the trend.

Anecdotally, she adds, "I've seen a lot of couples or partnerships where they agree to ethical non-monogamy, and it's a way to really get their sexual and emotional needs diversely met."

That said, ENM is just one of many different approaches to a non-monogamous relationship.

Figuring out which kind of relationship structure is best-suited to your needs and wants can be overwhelming, especially if you've lived your life thinking there's only one way to have a relationship. But, like gender identity and sexuality, there's been a greater cultural shift toward acceptance and exploration to discover what works for you.

"Like sex, anal's not a neutral word. Most people have feelings about it, whether or not they've actually tried it," says Fleming. The same thing goes for different kinds of relationshipslike non-monogamy, polyamory, triad, and the like. "It's experiential learning," says Fleming, meaning you might need to try various relationship types in order to find your best fit.

In need of some assistance? You can use these expert-approved checklists to find out whether or not monogamy might be the right choice for you:

One way to have a better relationship with your S.O. is by understanding each other's love languages...

Communication is key to all relationshipsmonogamous or not. If it's early in the connection, find out each other's expectations when it comes to exclusivity. Ask questions like, "What's your relationship style?" or "What are your terms of exclusivity?," suggests Skyler. If you're not on the same page, "Don't go wasting time and energy on this person to change themin either direction," says Skyler.

It gets a li'l trickier when you're already in an established relationship. Every couple is different, but if you have a very open, easy, communication pattern with your partner, then you can share your curiosity like, "I was thinking about this...what are your thoughts?" and have it be more of an evolving conversation, suggests Skyler.

For couples who don't talk as openly about sex or fantasies, it's likely a tough conversation to bring up. "My invitation is to say, 'Hey, I'd love to sit down with you at some point and talk about something I've been kicking around, when is good for you?' which is sort of my protocol for all hard conversations," says Skyler. Find a time when you're both calm and grounded and uninterrupted to introduce something new to your relationship.

Whether you're moving from monogamous to open, or from open to monogamous, don't stigmatize either side. "I always say to my monogamous clients that there's a lot to learn from the open community," says Skyler. "In order for open to work successfully, there has to be a lot of trust, transparency, and communication. But that's true for monogamy, too you can't just keep your mouth shut and assume because you're monogamous, it's safe. That's when cheating and secrets happen."

Monogamous or not, communication, trust, and transparency make or break any type of relationship structure.

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What Is A Monogamous Relationship? - Is Monogamy Right For You? - Women's Health

Admirers disagreed.

As a writer and podcaster, Laura Hales had the rare combination of being smart and personable, intellectual and approachable, Patrick Q. Mason, who holds the Leonard J. Arrington chair of Mormon history and culture at Utah State University and has written extensively on the church, said by email. She demonstrated how to do deep dives into fraught subjects while remaining personally loyal to the church.

Insatiably curious and a lifelong learner, she excelled at translating complicated issues for broad audiences.

Laura Elizabeth Harris was born into a Latter-day Saints family on Aug. 12, 1967, in Madison, Wis. Her father, Alfred, was an agricultural engineer, and her mother, Margaret (Lewis) Harris, was a teacher.

The family lived in Wisconsin, Minnesota and Michigan while Laura was growing up. In 1988 she graduated from Brigham Young University with a bachelors degree in international relations. That same year she married Brian Dursteler; the couple had five children before divorcing in 2005.

Ms. Hales earned two masters degrees, in professional writing at New England College in New Hampshire in 2013 and in North American history at Arizona State University 2020. She and Mr. Hales, who had already written several books on polygamy (a practice the mainstream church has not endorsed for more than a century), married in 2013.

Ms. Hales said that the idea for her podcast arose in 2016 when a church member in Sweden, where she and Mr. Hales were presenting at a conference, complained to her that books on the church were hard to get hold of in that country, and that the only podcasts available were either antagonistic or overly devotional. There is no middle ground, the man told her, so she set about trying to provide one.

Ms. Hales took up many topics in her writing and on her podcast, but she dealt with polygamy so often that in 2015 she wrote an essay for The Millennial Star, a blog maintained by church members, entitled Why I Write About Polygamy. In the essay, she mentioned that she and her husband had given a number of presentations on the subject.

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Laura Hales, Who Examined Her Churchs Tough Issues, Dies at 54 - The New York Times

Zagabe Chiluza, a man from the eastern Congo, left tongues wagging after marrying for wives.

The polygamous pastor married the four women, all virgins, in a colourful wedding ceremony a year ago.

According to AfriMax English, the man of the cloth always shares scriptures from the Holy Book to prove polygamy isn't a sin.

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He claimed the idea of marrying more wives originated from the Bible.

Zagabe said he got saved in 1986, and during the wedding, while addressing the guests, he said;

Some members of Zagabe's church echoed his sentiments that polygamy is accepted in the Bible.

AfriMax visited the man of God a year after sharing Zagabe's wedding and his wives at their home, and they were happily married.

Meanwhile, Legit.ng previously reported that a man had married triplet sisters on same day.

In an interview with AfriMax, Luwizo revealed he first fell in love with Natalie, who he met on social media and couldn't resist.

Whenever Luwizo would visit Natalie's home, and she was not around, he would be welcomed by one of the triplets and couldn't differentiate them. With time, they both fell in love with him.

Luwizo said he was shocked to meet three identical women after visiting Natalie's house to formalise their marriage.

Source: Legit.ng

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Pastor in Video Marries 4 Ladies who are All virg*ins at Once , Says Bible Supports it, He Now Has 5 Wives - Legit.ng

Theres been some buzz about ethical non-monogamy of late, and even if sanctioned sleeping around is so not your cup of tea, you might still be a little curious to know how it works. Well, that depends on what type of ethical non-monogamy youre talking aboutbecause, yes, these types of relationships come in different forms. So lets start with polyamory vs. open relationships: It might sound like the former is just a fancier way of referring to the latter, but thats not the case. Theres plenty of overlap between polyamorous and open relationships (*draws venn diagram*), but there are meaningful differences, too. We went to clinical psychologist Dr. Bethany Cook to help parse the details. Read on for the full scoop.

RELATED: The Most Common Open Relationship Rules and How to Set Yours

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Does your love tank have enough for more than one person? If youre in a polyamorous relationship the answer is yes. This type of ethical non-monogamy isnt about having more sex (though there will likely be more of that, too), its about having the freedom to fall in love and share an emotional connection with more than one person. What makes this ethical is that all involved parties are on the same page, which means the details of the arrangement are up for discussion. Beyond that, there arent too many rules.

Interestingly enough, polyamory doesnt necessarily mean every person in the relationship has more than one love interest. Someone who identifies as solo poly is in a relationship with just one person, and that one person has an outside relationship, or several. In other words, solo poly is polygamy, polyandry or some (possibly non-binary) combination of the two that everyone feels good about. In other instances, both partners have outside relationships.

There are also open poly relationshipsmeaning that new partners can be brought on boardand closed poly relationships, in which the group is done growing. Whatever the case may be, the key to polyamory is that all relationships are considered equalyou know, so that everyone in the love triangle (square, pentagon, what have you) feels empowered, happy and secure.

All this might sound like a lot of extra work, but Cook tells us that a healthy poly relationship can actually make things easier for some folksnamely because, if youre doing it right, youre not responsible all the time for everyones needs. In fact, yours and everyone elses needs can be met more consistently when there are options because theres more support present. (It takes a village, right?)

Now its time to talk about open relationships. Fortunately, the concept here is a little simpler in that it just involves two partners who agree that its a-OK to have casual (but safe) sex with other people. The key word, though, is casual. In open relationships, emotional intimacy is exclusive to the two romantic partners, so feelings arent supposed to enter into the picture when it comes to outside sexual experiences. In general, couples who enter into this type of relationship enjoy both physical and emotional intimacy with one another and are fully committed, but have determined that both parties benefit from the sexual exploration and freedom that comes from keeping the below-the-belt borders, well, open.

The major difference between polyamory and open relationships is that, with the latter, one relationship is the clear priority and the rest is just some hot, sweaty sex on the side. Polyamory, on the other hand, is a much bigger investment in that it revolves around the idea that its possible to maintain full-blown romantic relationshipssex, emotional intimacy, commitment and allwith more than one person at the same time.

That said, both relationship styles represent a rejection of the more traditional, monogamous coupling in favor of a less constricting experience of romance. Its also worth noting that in both polyamorous and open relationships, unhealthy power dynamics shouldnt be present, and boundaries must be discussed and mutually agreed upon before the arrangement is underway (and consistently thereafter), lest it turn into a not-so-ethical non-monogamous situation. Bottom line: If monogamy feels unnatural to you, find someone whos willing to explore some other optionsbut, whatever you do, remember that being able to openly talk about and respect each others individual needs is important, says Cook. Oh, and be sure to avoid the yucky patriarchal stuff, too.

RELATED: How to Ask Your Partner for an Open Relationship

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Polyamory vs. an Open Relationship: What's the Difference? - PureWow

The leader of an alleged polygamist cult who often refers to himself as 3God and Nature Boy is facing several charges this week, including false imprisonment and rape.

Eligio Bishop, the 40-year-old leader of the group Carbon Nation, was arrested on April 14 on five chargesincluding rape, false imprisonment, and sending sexually explicit electronic transmissions without consentthe Dekalb County Police Department said. The arrest follows a Wednesday-night raid on his Georgia home by dozens of officers and a tactical team, according to WSB-TV.

He is currently being held at DeKalb County jail after Magistrate Judge Abbi Taylor denied bail during a Friday court appearance, owing to the severity of his alleged crimes. While authorities have not provided details into what led to the charges, police did confirm a special victims unit investigation into Bishop has been ongoing since March 30 after they received a complaint against him. The Wednesday raid, police said, included search and arrest warrants.

There is no additional information at this time, a police spokesperson told The Daily Beast.

According to DeKalb County jail records, however, the alleged rape and false imprisonment occurred on March 24. Three days later, he allegedly sent explicit pictures in messages without the subjects consent, prompting two counts on the charge of prohibited nude or sexually explicit electronic transmission.

We teach sexual education and we believe in nudity. And so thats one of the charges thats trying to be brought against my chief thats for revenge porn, but the female that was here, the woman that was here, she gave consent to actually release it for sexual education, its not just like porn, its for educational purposes Daylin Armstead, a current Carbon Nation member, told Fox5Atlanta.

Bishop did not immediately respond to The Daily Beasts request for comment, and it is not immediately clear if he has retained an attorney.

Previous news reports state Carbon Nation members allegedly follow a vegan diet, believe in nudism and polygamy, and are forced to hand over their financial information to Bishop before learning his teachings. Bishopwho boasts 25,000 followers on Instagram and 90,000 more on YouTubedescribes himself as Messiah and $Th33God. Several of the YouTube posts include music videos and self-help instructional videos, and most urge donations to Carbon Nation via CashApp.

Erikka Carroll, a former member of Carbon Nation, told 11Alive on Saturday that the internet is where Bishop first lured her into the alleged cult. She said that in 2006, a Facebook post convinced her to move from New York to Honduras to help build a new community focused on nature. After a few months, Carroll said the group eventually settled in Costa Rica, where they slept outside in tents and ate only fruit and vegetables, before being made to work.

Wed have to sit in these long meetingshed say wed be facing our demons while doing that. But basically hes just projecting onto you what he has going on inside of him, Carroll told 11Alive. It was a lot of verbal and mental abuse.

Carroll said she eventually left the group after witnessing verbal and physical abuse, and believes that since she left Carbon Nation, the group has only turned more sinister.

Those people that are [still in the cult], their only hope is for [Bishop] to be locked up right now. For him to be locked up period. Its too many things he has gotten away with, Carroll added, noting that Bishop always said he wanted a lot of wives.

On Wednesday Bishop posted a video at a restaurant in Atlanta. In tandem with several women, Bishop is seen yelling the Black man is god several times before adding feel my power Black man, this is your power in front of the restaurants employees.

Im here, he added.

On Thursday, several of his followers posted Instagram videos, in which Bishops voice is heard on a speaker phone explaining the situation to his supporters, noting that he was trying to help people and feels misunderstood.

I know that I've scared a lot of people. But truly Im a really sweet person, he said. They want to crucify me, they want me dead, theres hate that surrounds me, you can feel it, just like any other prophetonly me, Im the return of the Christ.

We are here to be awakened. So this will not turn out like people think this is going to turn out, he added, before several people can be heard agreeing with him. I also forgive my accusers. My heart is light as a feather. I am in good spirits. No matter what happens remember, I am with you forever.

But this is not the first time Bishop has faced legal trouble for his role in the alleged cult. In June 2020, Bishop was one of 21 people arrested in Hawaii for violating the states mandatory 14-day COVID-19 quarantine order. In an interview with AP about the arrest, Bishop admitted he is often described as a cult leader, and thought the distinction was kind of cool.

Were a group of African Americans that are protesting our conditions by leaving them, he added. They just make us look crazy on the internet.

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'I'm The Return of Christ': Alleged Polygamist Cult Leader Hit With Charges in Georgia - The Daily Beast

Paedon Brownhas spent the last few weeks cluingSister Wivesfans into life inside the Brown family. The more he talks, the more honest he gets about growing up inside polygamy. Recently, the reality TV star suggested his life and his siblings lives would have been pretty bleak withoutTLCs cameras.

Sister Wivespremiered on TLC in 2010. Season 1 focused on the Brown family as they added a fourth wife to the family after spending years as a plural unit with three wives. The Brown family attempted to come across as happy and united in the first few seasons of the show, despite some growing pains.

In more recent years, that has changed. Kody Brown no longer advocates for polygamy. Two of his marriages have completely dissolved, and one other appears to be rocky. With a 17th season on the horizon,Sister Wivesfans are waiting for more drama to unfold on the small-screen. Until then, Paedon Brown, the son of Kody andChristine Brown, is sharing some family insight.

Paedon Brown started his social media journey by sharing basic information about his famous family. The more he talks, the more personal information hes releasing. In a particularly honest moment, Paedon revealed that hed likely be in a polygamist relationship and miserable if TLC hadnt helped the family grow and change.

According toThe Ashley Reality Roundup, Paedon said he knows exactly how his life would have turned out if TLC hadnt picked up the familys show. In a TikTok Live event, he shared that his family likely would have never left Lehi, Utah. He went on to predict they wouldnt have left the Apostolic United Brethren, either. Most importantly, he said, they wouldnt have expanded their horizons ifSister Wiveshad never happened.

Paedon said he believes he and some of his siblings would have been involved in polygamist marriages if it werent for the show. He explained that the show gave the family the chance to experience life outside of the insular religious circle they were once a part of. So far, none of the Brown kids have shown an interest in plural marriage.

Sister Wivesfans think Robyn Browns childrenare the most likely to be interested in polygamy if any of the kids are. Dayton Brown, Breanna Brown, and Aurora Brown have not spoken publicly about their romantic interests.

Paedon doesnt think hes the only one who would have faced significant hardships if the network hadnt picked up the show. He revealed that remaining in the church would have been terrible for some of his siblings.

In the TikTok event, Paedon was very specific about how the church would have reacted to his sibling,Mariah Brown. Paedon said the church would have shunned Mariah for their relationship with Audrey Kriss. The same is likely true for Gwendlyn Brown. Gwen identifies as bisexual.

Both Gwen and Mariah have had public scuffles with Paedon in recent years. Audrey, Mariahs partner, was also involved ina public spatwith Paedon via Instagram. Paedon and some of his siblings appear to have extremely different beliefs and appear to be largely estranged.

RELATED:Sister Wives: Paedon Brown Gives His Take on Meri Browns Marriage

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'Sister Wives' Star, Paedon Brown, Says Life Would Have Been Bleak Without the TLC Series - Showbiz Cheat Sheet

Remember the YouTube jodi who create informative videos on buzzing topics? Yes, Abhi and Niyu! Recently, they took to Twitter and asked netizens whether they should start their own version of Satyamev Jayate.

In a tweet they mentioned that they could host a show better than Bollywood star Aamir Khan. The text on the micro-blogging platform read, "Sometimes I feel we can do a better version of Aamir Khan's Satyamev Jayate. Should we invest our energies into doing so? Will you watch?"

Over this, Twitterati brought to notice that the Khan hosted Star Network show seemed to portray a single sided perspective. They also encouraged the young YouTubers to come up their version to the popular television talk show along suggesting the topics that they could highlight on the show.

"You can't better it...If u can manage to do something similar I'll watch," wrote a Twitter user. Some of the suggested issues towards the prospective show are the begging industry in India, Hawala market and it's role in funding terror, polygamy vs monogamy debate, reservation in educational process...

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For the unknowns, Abhiraj Rajadhyaksha is an Indian YouTuber and filmmaker while Niyati Mavinakurve is a content creator. The duo collaborate under the title 'Abhi And Niyu' on YouTube, Instagram to share stories, news details, inspiring videos and more.

Take a look at some reactions over their recent 'Satyamev Jayate' tweet, right here:

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YouTubers Abhi and Niyu plan to host a better version of Aamir Khans Satyamev Jayate - Free Press Journal

For those helping refugees and migrants, it might help to be aware of this guarantee of marital status. This status can help with marriage decrees or separation, and also protection for youth or undocumented workers.

__________________________________-

Why is CENOMAR Important for Migrants, Refugees, and Undocumented Persons?

A Certificate of No Marriage Record (CENOMAR) is simply what its name depicts. It is a PSA certification stating that a person has not entered into any marriage contracts, it is also known as a Certificate of Singleness or a Certificate of No Record of Marriage. The importance of the document showing that you are single lies in the fact that marriage in a foreign country with its native requires a single status certificate.

Different countries, different names of this certificate:

Certificate of No Record

Certificate of No Impediment

Certificate of Nulla Osta

Single Status Statutory Declaration

What is CENOMAR?

Before we move on to know more about this proof, let us first find out what this document is actually? It is a Single Status Certificate, which legally binds a personal document (showing the status of being unmarried) to be legalized. The certificate must be verified in order to prove your authenticity. The procedure of attestation is carried out by the native government, which grants permission to visit the country from another country. When applying for a visa or providing certified documents, the applicable government office will seek proof that you are an eligible individual.

Importance of this Certificate/Affidavit

The fact that you're getting married isn't the only reason you need this document certified. There are many other reasons and importance of a marital status certificate, like:

Employment visa

Family residence visa

Higher education

Admission to the foreign school

A single person must obtain a bachelorhood Certificate attestation in order to verify that he or she is not married. To avoid any fake single status proof, most foreign countries need you to validate your approved single status paperwork. A person who wishes to marry someone from another country must first prove that he or she is eligible for the marriage in this situation. If a widowed or divorced person intends to remarry, the confirmed document must be shown. It is a personal record of the overseas marriage process.

Documents required for the certificate:

The authorized person's letter of authorization. It transfers the authority to receive the document on the authorized person's behalf.

A valid Id of the authorized person

Authorization letter for bachelorhood (In case you are requesting for someone else)

Purpose of bachelorhood certificate

Unmarried certificates are used to prevent sham marriages, in which one party seeks to get an immigration advantage or other benefits by marrying someone else. Certain employment applications may also require this certificate. Several countries have recognized the significance of a CENOMAR - Unmarried Certificate and made it mandatory to get the certificate to avoid polygamy and illegal marriages from happening.

How to get this proof of singleness?

Fill out application forms at walk-in locations, online, or through service providers to obtain this document. After that, you'll have to pay a fee to have your request processed. You can hire a service provider at your place to complete all your legal requirements related to your singleness certificate.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, we can conclude that the Importance of single status certificate is much more than just proving that you are unmarried. It is a good policy since it protects many women, youth, or unpapered/undocumented refugees from being defrauded, and it also allows a person to marry in a foreign nation with his or her own spouse after calling them from their home country and completing the necessary paperwork in the place where theyare getting married.

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Awareness of Single Status for Migrants and Refugees - Mediate.com

Apparently being a woman does not automatically make you a lady. Being a lady, it is believed, one has to have class and self-respect. We have heard so many customs that should govern a lady and some, I admit, are deplorable.

When modern is added to lady, you probably picture a wild, conceited, and probably well-to-do female. Well, there is not always one way to see it. But there are certain things, thankfully, I will never have to go by simply because we are in the 21st Century. For example;

Never will I ever force myself to take on masculine traits just to be considered a strong woman. Some girls fight their emotions at the expense of their happiness just to be regarded as tough. No, thanks. I choose to embrace my sensitivity, emotional and nurturing nature. I will still be independent, bring my ideas to the board of opinions, say what I mean, be consistent and adopt more qualities because, by the way, it is okay to learn along the way and not have everything figured out just yet.

Never will I ever hate another girl for spiteful reasons. But never will I ever pretend to like another girl if I dont mean it. We know the drama between women fighting for men. Men, who, probably do not care about any of them. Or in instances of polygamy, women pretend to be okay with the situation while hating on each other heavily and deeply.

But also the modern facade of calling everyone sis (sister) should be called what it is, pretence.

Never will I ever pretend to have money in front of a guy when I dont. You know the question, what do you bring to the table? Well, I dont see why I should lie about not needing help just because it may come from a man. This, I believe, does not make me less of a female, just because I choose honesty and transparency.

Hear me well, however, because as a modern lady I will not be idle and wait for the gentleman to provide. Nor, I hope, will he expect me to be submissive.

Never will I ever die of hunger, not out of poverty, but because of an endless diet to try and adhere to societal standards. However, if I ever feel uncomfortable in my own body because of how much weight I have gained or lost then I will be happy to go on a diet, for me and nobody else.

Never will I ever wear clothes I do not like just to adhere to some standards. Some ladies will opt to wear ugly colourless outfits to be regarded as more serious and less provocative. Others will dress to impress too much, with the I dont care mentality.

Well, you choose. Regardless of the occasion and what I choose to wear, as a lady who respects herself, I will make sure my clothes/shoes are freshly cleaned, look crisp, and ironed to perfection. The point is, as long as I feel comfortable.

Again, we dont want to encourage a culture that objectifies women, to see them for their bodies, instead of their intelligence, thoughts, and opinions. However, we can be strong, intelligent, thoughtful, and respectable and still dress in a way that puts value on our feminine figures.

Never will I ever decide to put makeup on or not because of someone elses opinion. Ladies, it is okay to use that special tool to highlight your beautiful eyes or cover up acne and so on. It is okay not to go out without lipstick on if you dont fancy it. You are a lady regardless.

Never will I ever follow rules on how to be a lady. Although indirect, rules of any kind are just another way to confine people. PS; Im not talking about government rules and laws, arrest me not. But then if women still followed every rule, we still wouldnt have the right to vote or lead.

editor@newtimesrwanda.com

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Never will I ever: What's the definition of a 'modern lady'? - The New Times