Category Archives: Golden Rule

Edward Ernest Ed Perron, age 88, of Nashua, New Hampshire, formerly a longtime resident of Centerville, MA and Chelmsford, MA, passed away on Thursday, January 14, 2021 at Langdon Place of Nashua, following a Covid virus infection. He was the beloved husband of the late Helen (Camara) Perron with whom he shared 50 years of marriage before her passing in 2009.

He was born on September 30, 1932 in Lowell, MA and was the son of the late Edward Hercules and Violet May (Denault) Perron and was raised in Dracut, MA.

Ed always lived by the Golden Rule; he treated everyone he met with respect and kindness. In high school, he joined the US Naval reserve. Following high school he enlisted in the Air Force for full time active duty. He was a Korean War era Veteran. He was exceptionally proud to have served his country.

Using his GI benefits, he became the first person in his family tree to attend and graduate from college (Northeastern, 1969). When asked, he always said his proudest accomplishment was his family.

Ed retired after a long career at Raytheon as a Logistics Engineering Manager.

Throughout his life Ed took pleasure in the outdoors, hiking and bicycling. He enjoyed music and ballroom dancing. Ed loved animals. In his early married life with Helen, they bred German Shepherds. He enjoyed boating, owning a powerboat at his lakefront cottage in Groton MA and later a sailboat on Cape Cod. Active in the Coast Guard Auxiliary Flotilla 11-8 on Cape Cod, Ed at one time held the position of Flotilla Commander.

Ed was an active woodworker. He built Helen and his first home in Dracut, MA with his father. Some of his furniture he made himself. He enjoyed carving signs and decorative pieces. He and his wife loved to travel.

Later in his life, he enjoyed his yearly trips to Sequatchie County and Southeast Tennessee. He was fascinated with the history of the Dunlap Coke Ovens, the local waterfalls, Southeast Tennessee Civil War history and the scenic beauty of the Cumberland Plateau.

He leaves behind his children, Paula A. (Perron) Sullivan, and her husband, Daniel Sullivan of Wall, NJ; Edward C. Perron, and his wife, Deanna (Roy) Perron of Dunlap, TN, Philip C. Perron, and his wife, Joanna (Dittmer) Perron of Amherst, NH. He was the grandfather of six, Amanda-Faye Perron of Seattle, WA, Christopher D. Sullivan of Wall, NJ, Nicholas J. Sullivan of Roswell, GA, Mallory-Anne Perron of Boston, MA, and Colette R. Perron and Vivienne H. Perron of Amherst NH and great-grandfather to Eloise J. Sullivan of Roswell GA.

In addition to his wife and parents, he was predeceased by, his son Christopher T. Perron and brother Roger A. Perron.

Due to gathering limitations, Funeral Services and Interment will be held privately. In lieu of flowers, please consider donations in Eds memory to the American Cancer Society, 30 Speen Street, Framingham, MA 01710 or The Alzheimers Association, P.O. Box 96011, Washington, DC 20090-6011.

Funeral and ceremony handled by Blake Funeral Home in Chelmsford, MA.

Link:

Edward Ernest Ed Perron The Dunlap-Tribune - The Dunlap Tribune

Aries (Ram): March 21April 19.

Its time for change and time for growth. Youve been holding onto some strong emotions from the past. Its time to take a step back and let go of what no longer services you. This can be anything from old habits, toxic peers, and points of view.

Taurus (Bull): April 20May 20.

A flirty new friend will arrive in your life this week. Be careful of attachment though for some people are meant to come and go like the seasons while others are here to stay. This new friend in particular will build your confidence and show you what beauty strangers see in you passing by, but they will come and go organically from your life. Allow them to grow, bloom, and fade appreciating them and what they bring you.

Gemini (Twins): May 21June 21.

Conflict may arise in the chaos of your week, but do not fear. You have people and stars in your corner watching out for you in ways you cannot see now. Sometimes our strongest Gaudian angels are the best at being invisible.

Cancer (Crab): June 22July 22.

So you can be a little clingy some would say, but you are just a passionate loyal friend and partner. Its easy for you to come off a little strong to your peers, but in the right light, you shine as the empathetic loving, and wonderful to have in ones life. People are lucky to have you. This week let your love and passion flow freely, just keep in mind your oozing dedication can turn some people off. Use your natural ability to read the room to avoid this.

Leo (Lion): July 23August 22.

Opportunity awaits you! All eyes will be on you this week and its your opportunity to show others what you are made of. Dont doubt yourself, but cover all your bases. If you can brush up on your week spots your performance will speak for itself and reward will not be far behind.

Virgo (Virgin): August 23September 22.

Karma alert sound the alarm! Watch out for the negativity you put out their Virgo! What comes around goes around and the kindness, understanding, and love you show others this week will be well accounted for. That said so will your short temper, over-criticalness, and passive-aggressiveness will also be well accounted for. If all else fails retreat to the golden rule. Treat others as you wish to be treated.

Libra (Balance): September 23October 23.

Clever Libra always the one to sort out conflict. Your peers rely on you to keep the peace. Your natural talent to smooth ruffled feathers will come into play this week. Your personal life has been a little rocky, but despite your natural gifts you have yet to be able to contain the chaos. Listen close and take a step back- perhaps there is something youve missed?

Scorpio (Scorpion): October 24November 21

Love is in the air, sort of your romantic life isnt how you pictured it at the moment, but what can be done? Sexual Scorpio often thinks that action shrouded in mystery is the right answer, but being vulnerable will only help the situation. Drop your walls- if only for a second and be rewarded. Your love life can only improve when you have shown the real raw you.

Link:

The Argonaut Weekly Horoscopes - Argonaut

Scary Mommy and Denisfilm/Getty

Its no secret that having a baby changes relationshipsnot just between the new parents, but between new parents and new grandparents. Even if you previously had a great relationship, this big change creates big emotions. And honestly, it can create a big pain in the butt.

We all want that healthy, happy, positive relationship with our babys grandparents. But sometimes we need help. Because there will be times of tension and moments of frustration. I cant be the only one who has wanted to slap someone when they crossed a boundary with my childright?

Here are some things Ive learned as a new parent about how to set and stick to boundaries with my childs grandparents. (P.S. Feel free to send this to your kids grandparents. Maybe it will help them see it from your perspective and, if they get upset, you can blame me.)

Parents: Remember that grandparents are usually trying to help. They (hopefully) want to support you and your new family, but they might not know how youll have to speak up and set your own boundaries.

Grandparents: Whether its your son and daughter-in-laws new baby or your daughter and son-in-laws new baby, the fact remains: it isnt your baby, so please dont act like it is. Your primary motivation should be to support the parents and respect their boundaries. Focus on this first, before slobbering on the new baby, can help prevent problems.

A dear friend told me her in-laws kept talking about the special memories they planned to make with their grandchild and how theyre going to have a special relationship with their grandchild. PLUS, they bought a crib, stroller, and car seat for themselves, assuming the baby would be at their house a lot. My friend was furious. Their actions felt overbearing, insensitive, and quite honestly, creepy.

Parents: Speak up if a grandparent is using words, phrases or doing anything that feels inappropriate. Communicate your boundaries of how people can interact with your child(ren). Dont allow grandparents expectations to influence your choices about your child. Remember and act from this truth: you are the parent, they are not. (I am still reminding myself of this.)

Grandparents: Language is powerful, so be careful to not overuse the pronoun my. Instead, just use the word baby or the childs name. Also, steer clear of words or phrases describing how you desire a special relationship with the child. These approaches can come off obsessive and possessive.

Likewise, be careful how you share your expectations. You might be daydreaming of cuddling the baby to sleep and giving yourself a new-age grandparent name, but the parents may not want you to kiss or hold their baby. They may ask you to wash your hands every time you hold the baby. And, with COVID-19, these boundaries may be stricter.

Set aside your own expectations and instead, align them with the parents expectations. This shows youre truly putting their needs first and will earn you their trust.

Hands up if youve ever been asked a weird or inappropriate question from a grandparent anyone? Yes? Me too. Being curious is fine, being rude is not.

Bad questions: Can I touch your belly? Can I feel my grandbaby move? Can I wear the baby? Can I bathe or feed the baby? Can I put her into the car seat? Did you know grandmothers can learn to breastfeed again? Can I be in the delivery room? Are you disappointed you didnt have a natural birth? (Yes, Ive received all those questions. *sigh*)

Good questions : How can I help you? How can I support you? Show that youre here to help and support the parents how they want to be supported.

Parents: If a grandparent asks an inappropriate question or makes a rude comment, tell them. It might be unintentional. Speak up, then wait for them to respond. Hopefully, they apologize and wont do it again.

Grandparents: If those bad questions seem intrusive and inappropriate, GOOD. This means youre emotionally intelligent. If youre confused, let me clarify: you dont have a right to ask or make comments about the babys care or his/her birth. Its rude. No exceptions. Please only ask respectful, kind questions.

Not all grandparents are created equal. Maternal grandparents usually spend more time with the grandchild than the paternal grandparents. Why? The mother of the baby is likely to feel more comfortable around her parents and trust them more with her baby. And, it can be easier to set boundaries with them vs. the in-laws.

(If you need more proof, read this: why maternal grandparents are closer to their grandkids.)

Parents: Youre not sharing joint custody of your child with their grandparents, so dont act like it. Its not your job to appease them or make them happy. Whoever you are more comfortable with is exactly who you should spend more time around.

Grandparents: If youre a paternal grandparent, dont try to compete or compare your relationship with the baby and parents to that of the maternal grandparents. Dont be rude to your daughter-in-law if she prefers her parents. Accept this difference; its normal!

Giving unsolicited advice gets everyone into trouble. Even if your advice or input is well-intentioned, it doesnt matter. Dont say it. Dont suggest it. Trust me, just dont.

Parents: If you can, turn the other cheek and laugh off the advice or just ignore it. But, if you feel comfortable, tell them in-person (or write an email if thats easier) their advice isnt helpful and how it makes you feel.

Grandparents: Think that the baby should be held in a different way? Want to share a story of how your child slept through the night at six weeks? Keep it to yourself. If parents want advice, theyll ask for it. If they dont ask, they dont want it.

Video chats, texts and pictures are incredible tools for connection, but they can also become a source of pressure.

Parents: You set the boundaries; you make the rules. Dont feel pressured into communicating more than you are comfortable. Remember: just because we have access to our phones and each other 24/7 doesnt mean we have to be in contact 24/7.

Grandparents: Think less is more. To parents, if you check-in too much or constantly ask for updates, it can feel like you are trying to have unlimited access to their lives. They dont owe you daily or weekly updates of their baby. Also, some parents love posting about their kids on social media, others dont. Respect that. Media usage is personal.

Important note: never post a picture of a grandchild or any child on social media without express permission from his or her parents. This violates trust and privacy.

Grandparents: If you want a good relationship with your grandchild, you must start by building a good relationship with the parents. Guess what that means? Respecting their boundaries and adhering to their wishesthis builds trust, the foundation of all relationships.

If the parents dont want you coming out after the baby is born, thats okay. If that hurts your feelings, thats okay. Its not about you. Yes, you can have feelings. Yes, you should process them. But not with your son/daughter or their spouse. Process them with a friend. Because you need to think long-term.

A woman recently wrote to Mommybites asking for advice on how to tell her son and daughter-in-law wanting to see their child under her terms. Dr. Karen Rancourts response was perfect.

In short, I urge you to make no demands and to accept Jerrys and Candaces conditions with a smile and gratitude, wrote Dr. Rancourt. Be patient and agreeable, and perhaps over time you will be able to spend time with your grandchild in ways that are more in line with your preferences. But right now, your desires and preferences must take a back seat to Jerrys and Candaces plans and decisions, at least in the foreseeable future.

And, Dr. Rancourt finished with what should be the golden rule in grandparenting: You have to earn the privilege to spend time with your grandchild.

Parents and grandparents: Being part of a childs life is a privilege, not a right. Once we acknowledge that, we can focus on building a healthy relationshipwhich happens one positive interaction at a time. Please know we want our babys grandparents to be part of our lives! We also want to feel comfortable and know our boundaries are being respected. Only then, can we trust you being around our child(ren).

See the original post:

For The Grandparents Who Are Just Trying To Help - Scary Mommy

Ronnie McBrayer

Keeping the Faith

There is little difference between a radicalized imam on the other side of the world and some preachers in evangelical church pulpits here in the United States.

I said those words two decades ago, ironically from an evangelical church pulpit a pulpit I never had the chance to stand behind again (imagine that).

Oh, I was young and fiery then, still trying to recover and emerge from the evangelical fundamentalism of my own upbringing, convinced I could deliver the zealots by means of my zealotry. But I wasnt wrong way back when: Christianity is not immune to the disease of violence.

I write about spirituality and religion, subjects controversial enough to keep my inbox pressed down, shaken together, and running over. So, I dont have the digital or emotional bandwidth for our sorry state of political discourse. Yet, much of what we are witnessing in America today is not a political problem. It is a religious problem. Specifically, it is a Christian heresy.

What else can it be when the suffering, bleeding cross of Jesus has been exchanged for grasping, clutching, blood-shedding power and sanctified nationalism? Is there any other conclusion to draw when the loving Christ we say we follow, who calls us to nonviolent self-surrender, is replaced by a Ramboesque figure of apocalyptic doom? How else can I say it, when our Lords words, The truth will set you free are made a mockery by conspiracy theory, falsehood, and silly stories invented by internet trolls.

Faith, hope, and love the great pillars of Christian Faith have been taken captive by fear, cynicism, and hate-mongering. Do unto other as you would have done unto you, that great Golden Rule, has been commandeered to read, Dont Tread On Me. And the ethics of Jesus Sermon on the Mount all about blessing the poor, needy, meek, peaceful, and creating a beloved community has been substituted with rantings from dishonest, crackpot pundits.

The reality is this: There is little difference between a radicalized imam on the other side of the world and some preachers in evangelical church pulpits here in the United States, especially when those preachers are far more concerned with Constantine-like power than they are Christ-like sacrifice.

There is an old Bible verse I often heard in those fundamentalist churches of my youth. It reads: Judgment begins in the house of God. It is true, and that beginning must be made by we who are faith leaders in the Christian tradition; for we now face a great spiritual recovery in this country that will take decades, as once again the church must disentangle itself as it has been forced to do time and again throughout history from the seduction of worldly power.

We must find the courage to lead people of faith away from hostility and back to patterning ourselves after that humble servant who was crucified by the heinous combination of religion, violence, and ambition. Our faith and our collective future depend upon it.

Ronnie McBrayer is a speaker, storyteller, and spiritual navigator in the way of Jesus. He helps others heal from toxic faith; discover the peace that comes from surrender; and lead spirited, hopeful lives in the world.

Excerpt from:

Radicalization and spiritual recovery - Laurinburg Exchange

Sierra Rains|The Daily Ardmoreite

Several Marietta residents woke up Saturday morning and foundflyers promoting a Ku Klux Klan organization placed in their yards.

Marietta resident and City Council Member KorDale Lornes said he was on his way to get breakfast when he saw a police officer on the corner from his house picking up a flyer. He opened the back of his vehicle and showed me that there was about 60 of them that he had picked up so far and he was trying to get them picked up, Lornes said.

The flyers appear to be a white piece ofpaper promoting an organization called the Church of the Ku Klux Klan." Each flyer wasinside of plastic Ziplockbaggiewith a few rocks inside. It doesnt look like it was intended to break any windows or anything like that, Lornes said. Probably just a weight to be able to throw it from their vehicle into the yard.

Lornes said the flyers were placed all over townwith no particular area appearing to be targeted. At this time, it seems that the flyers were only placed at residences. Lornes said the Marietta Police Department is investigating the incident and many citizens have been trying to help find the culprit.

I dont feel like its a local because were a pretty tight knit community and surely a local would realize just how quickly word would spread, Lornes said. We reached out to some people here in my neighborhood that we know of who have security cameras.

The Marietta Police Department released a statement on social media Saturday morning, which confirmed the investigation and askedfor the publics assistance.

Officers are investigating the recent unsolicited distribution of religious/political materials in the City of Marietta, the statement read. Please contact us if you received these materials or have surveillance video of those delivering the materials.

Lornes said he plans to meet with theMarietta City Mayor Saturday afternoon to discuss the issue further.

Its 2021 and we should have moved past this long, long ago, said Lornes, who is a person of color. If we all lived by the golden rule, doing to others as wed have done upon us,I think just as a society we would be doing better off. This spread of hatred isnt really what any of us would want our children growing up in.

Anyone with information on the incident is asked to contact the Marietta Police Department at (580) 276-9371.

More:

Marietta residents wake to find KKK flyers placed in their yards overnight - Daily Ardmoreite

Since the late 2000s, regional intergovernmental frameworks and NGO networks have begun to emerge in Asia, demonstrating commitment to the norms and values of democracy. While intergovernmental frameworks have not yet moved beyond verbal commitment, civil society has been steadily forming and developing cross-border networks. The four main drivers for institutional formation are: 1) the central role of small rising democracies motivated to consolidate their democratic regimes; 2) the influence of institutional developments in other regions; 3) the role of civil society actors; and 4) the rise of China as an authoritarian superpower. However, the COVID-19 pandemic is likely to inhibit further development of such institutions. This paper recommends a multi-layered multi-stakeholder approach to further institutional development.

The diversity of political regimes and the emergence of China as an authoritarian superpower present stumbling blocks for the formation of regional democratic frameworks in Asia. The region includes several sub-regions: Southeast Asia, where many countries remain non-democratic or have flawed democracies; Northeast Asia, which is home to North Korea, the worlds most egregious human rights violator, and China, the worlds most influential authoritarian power, as well as democratic Japan, South Korea, and Taiwan; and South Asia, which is home to new and fragile democracies in addition to India, the worlds largest democracy. In addition, Asias anti-imperialist, non-aligned traditions create skepticism about Western democracy promotion, which can be perceived as neocolonialism. Asian democracies as well as authoritarian regimes jealously guard their sovereignty and uphold the principle of non-interference in domestic affairs as a golden rule.

Despite the diversity of regime types, some components of democracy have been accepted by regional governments. Most Asian countries use elections, although severely flawed in some, as a mechanism of choice for the government. Although authoritarian leaders manipulate and utilize elections only to legitimize their own leadership, their continued desire to point to electoral victories shows that elections have an internationally recognized legitimacy even authoritarian leaders cannot resist. In addition, they accept the legitimacy of some parts of human rights: most regional countries are parties to the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights, and many of them are parties to various international treaties on the rights of certain groups such as the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women and the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities.

However, civil liberties are a different story. The Asian values debate in the 1990s exemplifies it well: authoritarian political leaders in countries such as China, Singapore, and Malaysia1 positioned civil liberties based on individualism as a Western value, arguing that liberal democracy was not appropriate for Asias communitarian interests. Although the Asian values argument has since lost support, countries in the region show persistent resistance to including values associated with liberalism in regional discussions. Because of these relatively weak levels of support, civil liberties such as freedom of the press, freedom of information, privacy rights, and freedom of action for civil society have all come under significant attack during the COVID-19 pandemic. According to some experts, South and Southeast Asia is now the region with the most severe retreat of liberal democracy in the entire world.

Due to the lack of unified support for liberalism, Asia has fallen behind not only the West, but also Latin America and Africa, in shaping regional institutions for the protection and promotion of liberal democracy.

Due to the lack of unified support for liberalism, Asia has fallen behind not only the West, but also Latin America and Africa, in shaping regional institutions for the protection and promotion of liberal democracy. Nevertheless, since the late 2000s, existing regional intergovernmental frameworks have begun to embrace democratic values, and new frameworks for democracy have emerged.

Southeast Asia was the first sub-region in Asia to take up democracy as a common value. Addressing the issue of human rights and fundamental freedoms in a joint communique in 1993, the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) indicated its willingness to formulate a common approach to human rights issues. Subsequent expansion of ASEANs membership made it difficult to take concrete steps towards this goal, but when the ASEAN Charter was adopted in November 2007 it included democracy, rule of law, respect for human rights, and good governance as common principles for ASEAN member states. In accordance with the charter, the ASEAN Intergovernmental Commission on Human Rights (AICHR) was established in 2009 and the ASEAN Human Rights Declaration was adopted in 2012. The ASEAN Community, formed in 2015, also expressed its willingness to strengthen the promotion and protection of democracy, good governance, rule of law, human rights and fundamental freedoms.

The Bali Democracy Forum (BDF), though not a formal multilateral institution, opened the arena for discussion on democracy to the countries in the entire Asian region. The Indonesian government, which played a prominent role in encouraging ASEANs focus on democracy and human rights, established the BDF in 2008 as the first regional forum to bring together Asian governmental leaders at the ministerial level. The forums meetings, which include non-democratic governments, aim to promote democracy by sharing democratic experiences and best practices, without condemnation of other countries or comparative assessments between countries.2

A similar multilateral commitment to democratic values came to South Asia in 2011, when the South Asian Association for Regional Cooperation (SAARC) consisting of Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Bhutan, India, the Maldives, Nepal, Pakistan, and Sri Lanka adopted the Charter of Democracy, which states that SAARC upholds values that constitute the core of democracy, including the right to live in dignity, the rule of law, freedom, and fundamental human rights. The charter also commits SAARC members to promoting democratic systems in their own countries and in the region and opposing governments that are elected in an unlawful or undemocratic manner.

In addition to broad forums and institutions, the establishment of the Quadrilateral Security Dialogue or Quad between Australia, India, Japan, and the United States in 2007, and its resumption in 2017, has created the regions most prominent partnership among democracies. While the dialogue has a broad mandate, the participating countries have emphasized democratic values, shared principles, and the value of a rules-based order.

These intergovernmental frameworks nonetheless have various weaknesses. Despite making verbal commitments to democratic norms and principles, they have done relatively little to support civil liberties in the region. The ASEAN Human Rights Declaration is colored by cultural relativism and is weak on affirming human rights as a universal value. Neither the BDF nor the Quad has made joint statements at times of human rights violations in Asia. SAARC has been suspended since 2014 due to tensions between India and Pakistan.

In addition, none of these frameworks are equipped with practical mechanisms to protect and promote democracy. While the AICHR comes closest as a regional mechanism that could protect freedom and human rights, it lacks independence. Participating governments dispatch their approved representatives to the institution, each of which is given veto power, making it impossible for the organization to take more sensitive positions. It is also impractical for the BDF to take substantive actions to prevent democratic backsliding, given its desire to avoid finger pointing among member countries as well as its lack of substantial interaction with civil society.3 The Quad countries have been providing election support, cyber security measures, and rule of law assistance to regional countries bilaterally, with a focus on strengthening the norms of democratic governance, but the dialogue lacks formal multilateral infrastructure.

While progress has been slow in inter-governmental frameworks, non-governmental democracy networks show more promise. The Asia Democracy Network (ADN), established in 2013 as a regional multi-stakeholder platform, has been promoting human rights and democracy through the formation of transnational civil society networks, including NGOs, researchers, parliamentarians, and independent media. Covering the three sub-regions of Asia Northeast, Southeast, and South Asia the ADN promotes democracy through sharing lessons learned and mutual support. The organization has also played a regional advocacy role. At the time of the Cambodian general elections in 2018, for example, the ADN appealed to international and governmental organizations on behalf of Cambodian civil society. While Hongkongers were fighting for freedom in 20192020, the ADN provided advocacy support to activists in Hong Kong.4

ADNs advocacy is supplemented by the Asia Democracy Research Network (ADRN). Established in the same year as the ADN as a network of Asian think tanks, ADRN provides resources and tools for the ADNs activities through research. Although coordination between the ADN and the ADRN remains a challenge, the ADRN has been actively conducting research on various issues pertaining to challenges for democratic governance common to Asian countries.

A new development is emerging as well. In response to the democratic backsliding in Asia, the National Endowment for Democracy, the Center for Strategic and International Studies, and the Annenberg Foundation Trust at Sunnylands, in collaboration with Asian democrats, have convened a new Track II democracy dialogue. July 2020 saw the release of The Sunnylands Principles on Enhancing Democratic Partnership in the Indo-Pacific Region which set out the democratic values shared by participants. Asian participants in this process include former high-ranking officials in the governments and judiciary of India, Indonesia, Japan, the Philippines, and South Korea, who are currently working actively with civil society. Their links to national-level decisionmakers bodes well for the process eventually becoming a multi-stakeholder regional initiative also involving regional governments.

Four key drivers have promoted the gradual establishment of regional democracy frameworks in Asia. The first key driver was the democratization of Asian countries. As countries in Asia sought to consolidate their nascent democracies, they sought to form regional institutions focused on their unique needs. Small South Asian democracies (Bangladesh, Bhutan, the Maldives, and Nepal) moved for the enactment of the SAARC Charter of Democracy to help check domestic anti-democratic forces and seek regional support. Having troubled relations with India, they also intended to embed India in the regional institution and bind the country to shared regional principles.5 Mongolia, sandwiched between two giant authoritarian countries, Russia and China, played an important role in the establishment of the ADN, seeking to increase its international recognition as a democracy and to protect its independence by joining with other democracies in the region. Pro-democracy actors in Indonesia, the Philippines, and Thailand, who contributed to the establishment of the ADN, tried to secure support and participation from established democracies as well as emerging democracies to maintain their democracies at home, and to create a regional system that would allow them to seek support from each other.6

The second key driver for the creation of Asian democracy mechanisms was the influence of institutional developments in other regions. The ADN, for example, was established by Asian pro-democracy activists who had connected with NGO networks such as Red Latinoamericana y del Caribe para la Democracia (REDLAD) in Latin America and sought to create a similar network in Asia.7 The BDF was influenced by European pro-democracy mechanisms, as part of a bid by the Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono administration to mimic Europe and establish Indonesia as a norm-setter in Asia. The SAARCs emphasis on human rights and democracy was motivated by similar developments in ASEAN.8

The third driver was the invaluable role played by civil society actors. The Institute for Peace and Democracy, together with other Indonesian civil society organizations, has played a prominent role in organizing the BDF and setting its agendas. During the formulation of SAARCs Charter of Democracy, prominent think tanks and NGOs engaged with member states such as Bangladesh and Nepal and promoted the discussion of democracy, in addition to stimulating such discussions on the grassroots level.9 While it is not surprising that civil society members played significant roles for the ADN as a NGO network, civil society actors, especially foundations and think tanks in South Korea and Taiwan, together with democracy activists in Southeast Asia, also played central roles.10 Believing that core norms of democracy such as accountability, transparency, inclusivity, and respect for human rights facilitate more responsive government, these non-state actors facilitated the creation of a vision to promote democratic governance standards in the Indo-Pacific region.

Chinas emergence as an increasingly influential authoritarian superpower is the fourth driver. Faced with Beijings increasing violations of international rules and norms, and its conscious and unconscious export of its own governance model across Asia, regional countries have reinforced the sense that they need to establish mechanisms to maintain the liberal international order. The Quadrilateral Security Dialogue and the Sunnylands process, in particular, were motivated by such sense of necessity. While they do not intend to antagonize China, they seek to serve as mechanisms with which to preserve the rule-based order where democratic governance and human dignity are protected in the age of Chinas rise.

Regional intergovernmental frameworks for democracy are at risk of entering a stagnant phase in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Indonesia and the Philippines, which promoted the democracy agenda in Southeast Asia, have accelerated their democratic retreat, while Thailand, another country which worked together with those two, has been under a military regime since 2014. While SAARC began to see hope for resumption when the Indian government established a COVID-19 Emergency Fund for SAARC countries, an initiative to which SAARC member states have responded positively, democratic retreat in most member countries is likely to serve as a stumbling block in bringing the organization forward as a defender of democracy.

Instead of resting expectations on region-wide frameworks that include authoritarian countries, democracies should forge their own partnership and lead the discussion to uphold the values of liberal democracy.

Given the greater necessity as well as increased challenges during the pandemic, further development of regional frameworks for democracy requires proactive promoters. Here, this paper recommends a multi-layered multi-stakeholder approach. Instead of resting expectations on region-wide frameworks that include authoritarian countries, democracies should forge their own partnership and lead the discussion to uphold the values of liberal democracy. The Sunnylands process is a useful framework. Related actors should involve government officials in regional democracies in the process.

While governments need to be involved in the process, this could only work if it is a genuine Track 1.5 effort, keeping civil society at the center to maintain the momentum. While government officials come and go, civil society maintain their expertise and knowledge necessary to continue moving the process forward. Asian civil society networks have already become more active in response to the deterioration of democracy and civil liberties during the pandemic. In July 2020 the ADN launched a website called Asia Democracy Chronicles to provide information on civil liberties and human rights repressed under the pandemic in Asian countries. The ADRN has also been publishing research on the topic at a fast pace, advocating for this issue. These actors are not afraid to uphold liberal democracy as a common value for Asia.

At the same time, in order not to exclude authoritarian countries from the table, the existing sub-regional frameworks of ASEAN and SAARC remain important. In order to make these institutions more meaningful, incorporation of civil society actors into the dialogue on democracy is ideal. In addition, a region-wide mechanism that would incorporate the important missing sub-region of Northeast Asia is much needed. For that purpose, the Indonesian government should weaken its grip over the BDF and make it into a multilateral framework with equal footing among member countries. Mixing between the civil society pillar and the government pillar of the BDF is strongly needed as well.

Democratic governments, which are pressured not to bring the agenda of liberal democracy to the table in order not to force regional countries to choose between China and democracies, should encourage the expansion of the roles of the civil society. After all, the true champions of freedom and democracy are the civil society actors.InteractiveGlobal China

Monday, September 30, 2019

Read the original post:

Expanding multilateral frameworks for democracy in Asia and the necessity of Track 1.5 approaches - Brookings Institution

Deepak Chopra, Special to SFGate

Watching mainstream coverage of the Biden inauguration, you couldnt miss the much-repeated call for uniting a divided nation. The commentary was quite approving; no one seemed to disagree with the theme or the need. But if you turned to right-wing media, the notion of uniting the country was derided as a ploy and scorned as bad faith. This indicates that gulf that lies between vision and outcome.

It is much better to have a vision than not, because a vision makes your intentions clear and keeps the goal in sight. A vision that is destined to fail, however, has no real use. Bringing the country together isnt different from bringing a wounded relationship together. The needed skills are psychological. The right-wing has taken advantage of this fact for decades, as many commentators have noted, by tapping into grievances. But stoking peoples complaints, grudges, fears, and fantasies of revenge is a negative vision. As recent events have shown, the people you manipulate this way eventually leads to bad faith and eruptions of a violent, chaotic kind.

So how do you get someone to yes when that person is dead set against you? The necessary tactics depend on understanding two things: 1. The basic principles of negotiation and 2. Putting yourself in the other sides shoes. Both are always workable, no matter whether we are talking about a broken relationship or a broken political culture.

Principles of negotiation

These principles are well known in diplomatic circles but they are flouted in everyday life all the time. The main reason is that people dont try to learn how successful negotiating works. Instead, they fall back on tactics that hardly ever work, or when they seem to, leave residues of resentment from the other side. The tactics that dont work are easily recognized in our current state of deep division.

How to stay at no

It is worth the time to sit down and reflect on both lists. Getting what you want is a natural impulse, but using the wrong means leads to frustration and futility.

The second thing needed in order to change no to yes is to put yourself in the other sides shoes. One might call this the path of empathy. Nobody really disagrees with the Golden Rule in their heart of hearts, but treating others the way you want to be treated remains hypothetical without an understanding of psychological wants and needs. The most basic wants and needs are common to everyone.

You cant put yourself in someone elses shoes by pretending that you agree with their beliefs, prejudices, and social conditioning when those things are foreign to you. Much less does it work to adopt false empathy with positions you abhor. Divisions dont go away as a condition for getting to yes. Instead, they stop being obstacles.

You put yourself in someone elses shoes by shifting to the needs and wants listed above. They constitute the unspoken agenda in everyones life. Once you see that you and the other side share the same needs and wants, you can start to talk about them. Speak about the unspoken, and you will get much further than keeping silent.

Ive devoted a small space to issues that fill many books, but I think it is necessary to understand that there is a way to clear up the fog of war. War isnt always conducted with armed weapons. Armed words do the job quite well. If there is to be an end to deep divisiveness, one side must be the first to step up and use the tactics that actually work. The situation cant be made any simpler than this.

DEEPAK CHOPRA MD, FACP, founder of The Chopra Foundation, a non-profit entity for research on well-being and humanitarianism, and Chopra Global, a whole health company at the intersection of science and spirituality, is a world-renowned pioneer in integrative medicine and personal transformation. Chopra is a Clinical Professor of Family Medicine and Public Health at the University of California, San Diego and serves as a senior scientist with Gallup Organization. He is the author of over 90 books translated into over forty-three languages, including numerous New York Times bestsellers. His 90th book and national bestseller, Metahuman: Unleashing Your Infinite Potential (Harmony Books), unlocks the secrets to moving beyond our present limitations to access a field of infinite possibilities. For the last thirty years, Chopra has been at the forefront of the meditation revolution and his latest book, Total Meditation (Harmony Books, September 22, 2020) will help to achieve new dimensions of stress-free living and joyful living. TIME magazine has described Dr. Chopra as one of the top 100 heroes and icons of the century. http://www.deepakchopra.com

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How to Get the Other Side to Yes - Laredo Morning Times

Dungeons & Dragons players must work together both with their party and their Dungeon Master to have a fun and successful adventure together.

PlayingDungeons & Dragons is a team sport. To embark on and enjoy the adventure set up by the Dungeon Master, all players must bring their best teamwork to the table, otherwise the game may crumble due to poor communication. To have a successful and enjoyable campaign, players must be respectful not just to their DM, but also their party members, to help foster an environment where players can speak freely, bounce ideas off each other, and create powerful strategies.

There are three basic rules DMs and players can implement during the preparation stage of a campaign to help the adventure go smoothly. These skills will help all players feel heard, as well as eliminate the possibility of a misunderstanding. The first of these three golden rules is not to talk out of turn. The quickest way to have aDungeons & Dragons campaign devolve into chaosis for the party to constantly be talking over each other. While it it easy to let player actions be guided by excitement, and it is tempting to express feelings in the moment, players should always try to take a step back and make sure that no one else is talking, and that it is the appropriate time to interject with an idea, attack, or in-character comment. This rule helpsD&D players listen more clearly to their party members, and foster good communication from the start of a campaign.

Related:Dungeons & Dragons: What A Murder Hobo Is (& Why They're Bad)

The second rule that players should implement is to always come to the game session prepared.Dungeons & Dragons often has homework outside of a session. Whether this is reading up on a player's class, investigating lore about a new area, or leveling up a character and preparing the next round of spells, it is important to have these tasks done before the session begins. It is frustrating for players who come prepared to be forced to wait on a party member who put preparation off until the last minute, and can often eat into precious play time. Preparing for the session shows party members that the player is committed, and that they respect the time of their DM and the friends they are adventuring with.

The third rule for a successfulDungeons & Dragonscampaign is player boundaries. Players need to be clear about respectful roleplay while in character. This rule can be difficult, as every party will need to set these boundaries differently. What is okay in one group may not be in another.

This is especially important when it comes to in-character interactions. Players should check with each other before engaging in conversation that could be considered promiscuous, and make sure that the language and actions being used are okay with both players. It's easy to get carried away while in character, and it is important to remember that there are real people behind thatD&DFighter or Barda player may be interacting with. Because of this, connecting and expressing what everyone is comfortable with ahead of time can prevent a situation where a player feels uncomfortable.

If players are respectful and think before they speak or act, aD&D campaign is likely to go smoothly and be enjoyable for all at the table. Touching bases regularly before a play session starts helps to make sure that everyone is still feeling comfortable and confident with how communication has been going. This is an excellent way to create a good atmosphere for aDungeons & Dragons session, encouraging all member of the party to have fun as they journey together through the unknown.

Next:4 D&D Rules DMs Should Only Use Once

90 Day Fianc: Ariela & Biniyam Are Not In Ethiopia With Aviel Anymore

Laura Gray is a writer, illustrator and gamer in cozy Boise Idaho. They have had a wild freelance career in being a nerd, spending time traveling as a professional cosplayer and becoming a published illustrator while working the night grind as an IT tech. Laura is currently a content writer for D&D campaigns and Screenrant while working on personal writing projects for publication. They are also busy welcoming their first child into their life, which has been the best adventure life has given yet.

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D&D: Three Ways To Be A Good Party Member | Screen Rant - Screen Rant

For as long as history has been written, humanity has struggled to evolve society from the tribal to a more inclusive system. A healthy society nourishes all its members, or it rots from within. Americas experiment with a democratic republic still suffers from tribal exclusivity, where some count more than the rest. This flaw manifests in capitalism as the illusions of exclusive gain and externalized costs. The social function of government is to set boundaries on tribalism, and address the needs of the entire society, without exclusion.

In 1986, President Reagan claimed the nine most terrifying words in the English language are Im from the government, and Im here to help. In the decades since, Republicans have relentlessly disparaged government, sowing public distrust, while working to underfund or eliminate essential social services. This has created massive economic inequity and disenfranchised millions.

Believing they could control him, Republicans embraced candidate Trump, accepting his incompetence, corruption, and disregard for the rule of law, being more focused on power than integrity. In 2020, during the pandemic, the 614 American billionaires increased their net worth by $931B while most Americans suffered. America leads the planet in Covid cases and deaths, due to incompetent federal leadership.

January 6th was the culmination of Republican anti-governmental sentiment when the mob of Trump supporters, incited by his deranged, self-serving lie about a fraudulent election, invaded Congress to stop the peaceful transfer of power. The self-proclaimed patriots were armed, had explosive devices, and were prepared to take hostages. This insurrection was coordinated with actions in thirteen state capitals.

The good news is the attempted coup failed. The legislators and staff were unharmed by the mob. Order was restored later that day, Congress returned to business, and Biden was confirmed as the next president.

The bad news is that five people died, including one policeman. Capitol security was easily overwhelmed, perhaps even complicit in the invasion. Trumps defense department appointees delayed authorizing the Maryland National Guard to enter and restore order. Six Republican Senators and a majority of Republican House members voted to thwart the will of the electorate.

Keep in mind, the core of all this is the big lie that the election was stolen and that violence and opposition to the rule of law was somehow patriotic duty. This lie ignores 60 failed legal challenges, numerous recounts, and the certification by every state governor and secretary of state, a majority Republican-controlled, affirming the election was free and fair. Trump just got fewer votes.

The aftermath is still unfolding. Trump, loyal only to himself, abandoned his supporters and belatedly condemned their actions in a stilted video. The Wall Street Journal and the National Manufacturers Association, among others, have called for Trumps resignation. Pence and the cabinet have been requested to invoke the 25th amendment to immediately remove the president from power, but Pence has gone into hiding and some cabinet members have resigned to avoid the issue. The House has begun presidential impeachment proceedings for sedition and insurrection, which could bar Trump from ever holding public office again. There are calls for resignation, expulsion, or censure of legislators who participated in attempting to thwart the will of the voters. Around the country, prosecution of members of the mob are proceeding, based on selfies, cell phone data and social media videos.

It is understandable that Trump needs to believe in fraud, because he is too mentally damaged to admit that he lost. He should be pitied and given psychological care in a safe environment with no responsibilities. But the sad part is the millions of people who have swallowed the big lie, hook, line and sinker, rather than listening to their inner truth.

What does it mean to be an American? Are rich, white, Christians the only people who count? Or are we truly a land of equal opportunity, open to everyone, without regard to wealth, race, or religion? The mob invaded Congress wrapped in flags and carrying crosses. Republicans with integrity need to call out the autocratic faction that has flourished in their party, and excise it like a cancer. Real Christians, who understand the Golden Rule as the essence of Christs message, need to reclaim the integrity of their religion. It is encouraging to see that this process has begun.

Crispin B. Hollinshead lives in Ukiah. This and previous articles can be found at cbhollinshead.blogspot.com.

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Another Voice: The Whole world is watching - The Willits News

Dennis Zink| Sarasota Herald-Tribune

Corruption is widespread in business. Some leaders are out-and-out crooks directing malfeasance from the top. More often, employees bend or break rules because those in charge are blind to unethical behavior and may unknowingly encourage it.

So says Harvard Business Review.

A business sector with countless examples of an ethical morass is the automotive industry. Dating from the Ford Pinto era, rear-end collisions often ruptured fuel tanks, resulting in leaking fuel and deadly explosions. Casualties were thought of in terms of a dollar amount to settle lawsuits as a cheaper alternative to fixing the problem. A few years ago General Motors had a massive recall involving faulty ignition parts that was a result of saving pennies at the expense of its reputation and lost lives. Volkswagen cheated on diesel-emissions tests. And in the biggest automotive recall in history, defective Takata airbag inflators in cars made by several manufacturers showed a high risk of killing passengers with pieces of shrapnel.

Sadly, this is only one industry.

The quest for higher profits, conflicts of interest, misguided incentives and coverups of unintended consequences are just some of the reasons business ethics go awry. In the quest for higher profits, cutting corners and other cost savings strategies often backfire and result in the loss of profits and even thedemise of a business.

In a case of the end justifies the means, liar loans were all the rage during the housing boom. Banks and mortgage companies didnt even try to hide it. Government incentives prompted small down payments in an effort to increase home ownership. The ends justified the means until they didnt.

Honesty, perhaps the most important value, is a slippery slope descending into dishonesty through various stages, such as withholding information, telling white lies, using puff or spin, putting lipstick on a pig, exaggeration and understatement, evading or stretching the truth, and outright lying.

Some of my thoughts on business ethics:

Be a good corporate citizen. Social responsibility encourages honesty, dignity, respect and fairness in dealing with your associates, customers and vendors.

Hire ethical people who will do the right thing. The culture of your company should reward safety, diversity, accountability and promote continuous improvement. Culture is made up of the collective behavior of owners, managers and employees.

I am more ethical than you. Surprisingly, employees tend to see themselves as more ethical than anyone else. They see their peers and co-workers on their level as less ethical than themselves. They see those above their level as even less ethical, with ethical standards descending with ascending levels of management.

Personal versus business ethics. As a person, of course, you act ethically. Your company is putting pressure on you to achieve quotas as it relates to sales goals. What are you going to do?

In religion, its the golden rule of reciprocity. Confucius said in 500 B.C., What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.

It all comes down to values. If you go with your gut, you should stay out of trouble. But your business should have a written code of conduct. Ethics is not event oriented, it is value oriented. David Rockefeller said, Honesty in business is non-negotiable. Trust is the foundation of all business success.

The boss. The top dictates the tone on what people say and do in the workplace. Clear and effective company communications are necessary. As the leader, anticipate trouble and be proactive. The best thing a company can do to help it succeed is to take care of its employees and inspire confidence in others.

The greater good. Sometimes there are no good choices. Ask what decision will provide the greatest long-term benefit to the greatest number of people over the long term. Conversely, what decision will do the least harm to the fewest people over the long term.

In the past few decades, there has been a greater emphasis on stressing the importance of ethics education in business. A persons core values are pretty much set by the time they enter the workplace. If you are obeying the laws, following the rules, using your common sense, and going with your gut, then you should be fine. You can always ask people you trust what they would do in a given circumstance.

In summary, business ethics is about how we treat others and how they treat you. Its a two-way street. Most ethical dilemmas are delineated in shades of gray. Try to be aware of your own blind spots.

Finally, if you get the urge to do something questionable because no one will know, remember this: You will know.

Dennis Zink is an Exit Strategist, business analyst and consultant. A Certified Value Builder and SCORE mentor, and the past chapter chair of SCORE Manasota. Dennis created and hosts Been There, Done That! with Dennis Zink, a nationally syndicated business podcast series and SCORE Business TV available at http://www.Time4Exit.com. He facilitates CEO roundtables for the Manatee and Venice chambers of commerce. Dennis led a SCORE team to create the Exit Strategy Canvas and Exit Strategy Roadmap program that provides a real-world methodology for business equity realization. Email him at dennis@Time4Exit.com.

Originally posted here:

BUSINESS ALCHEMIST: Ethics in your business -- do the right thing - Sarasota Herald-Tribune