Category Archives: Golden Rule

Wheres common decency?

What do you do when you go to someone elses house and they want you to take off your shoes? Do you disrespect them, fight them and defiantly walk shoed across their floors?

How about people who do not allow smoking in their home? Do you light up or punch them out?

How about someone who doesnt appreciate pets? Do you set Fido loose in their home to do as it pleases? Ill bet not.

Then why do people entering a business, commercial aircraft or office, etc., think it is their privilege or patriotic duty to be A-holes and thwart mask required signs and policies placed by the property owner?

I think I know why. Many people have lost their sense of common decency. People feel entitled to do whatever they want, whenever they want.

Remember, freedom also requires responsibility. Its past-time to stop the madness and recover some civility. Most people disrespecting others on their private property would not stand to be disrespected on their own property.

Whatever happened to the Golden Rule? If you dont know what that is, look it up.

Some may wonder why Im writing so many letters lately. The simple reason is that Im appalled by the behavior of many I have witnessed in our very own community, government and across our country.

We are Americans. Start having some pride instead of misplaced rage. Control yourselves and respect others, especially on their property. Also remember that public property is ours, not just yours.

The Feb. 6 article about tax levies should have been about how the money is spent. ...

Example: the cemetery district.

The commissioners allowed a private contractor to build a crematorium on taxpayer land. He never put it out for bid. The original contract was 90 days. Seven years later, it was not complete. ...

Commissioners said it didnt cost them. It was built on the contractor getting 70% and the cemetery getting 30% of the sale basis.

So how many holes has been sold? One?

Who missed the holes being the wrong size? Now they have to be redrilled.

How much is the cost for the employees time to mow that area?

What is the cost of the water and electricity?

Why were there two liens put against the contractor?

Do voters know the original job description of the employees was to open and close graves?

Commissioners then charged another $500 to open and close the graves after the employees were already being paid double dipping so they changed the job description.

Now commissioners include the cost in purchasing the plot but they do not deduct the cost from the levy money again, double dipping. ...

Now they are putting up gates on county roads and paying out of the levy money. Why? To keep out homeless, for which they have no records under public records request.

Visit and see how many ways to access the cemetery.

All this was given to the Tribune.

Continued here:

Feb. 15 Letters to the Editor: Our Readers' Opinions - Lewiston Morning Tribune

Who says nice guys finish last?

Last night, the Los Angeles Rams defeated the Cincinnati Bengals in Super Bowl LVI to become the newly crowned NFL champions. In post-game interviews, Rams players and coaches shared their thoughts on what they believed contributed to their championship season. You heard familiar phrases like "I knew this was a special team," and "we trusted one another to go out there and get it done."

But one player's take on the Rams' organizational culture stood out. It was from the team's oldest player, offensive tackle Andrew Whitworth -- who at 40 years old is the oldest active player in the NFL.

"I think this is a unique environment," Whitworth said in a postgame interview, speaking about the culture Rams coach Sean McVay and his staff have built. "We're relaxed. We have fun. It's energetic. We don't have coaches out there screaming at people. That's not allowed on our field. It's about having energy and positivity and belief that no matter what happens on one snap, the next snap's the next best one you can have."

Whitworth said he believes it's this environment that helped the Rams reach their full potential: "I think guys come in, they believe in it, and they appreciate that opportunity to be in an environment where they're encouraged to just be themselves and go out and do what they do."

For years, coaches across sports have become known for their domineering, drill-sergeant-like approach. But for several decades, psychologists have studied the value in a more emotionally intelligent coaching style, one that focuses on positive reinforcement.

I like to call this "the rule of positive psychology."

Let's break down how the rule of positive psychology works, how the Rams used it to their advantage, and what companies can learn from it to build an emotionally intelligent culture where teams thrive. (If you find value in the rule of positive psychology, you might be interested in my full emotional intelligence course. Check out the course here.)

The rule of positive psychology is simple. It basically states:

When you build an environment focused on nurture, positive reinforcement, and highlighting strengths and potential, you help people to be the best version of themselves.

It was back in the 1950s that psychologist Gordon Allport began questioning why much of psychological theory focused on the behavior of sick and anxious people, and why many studies were of criminals instead of law abiders or focused on unhealthy emotions rather than healthy ones.

Since that time, more and more psychologists, researchers, and therapists have begun studying examples of healthy human behavior and the value of positive reinforcement. It is principles like these that inform the rule of positive psychology.

The Rams aren't the only professional sports team to embrace the positive psychology movement.

In the NBA, the Golden State Warriors are also known for having a relaxed, fun atmosphere where music, humor, and friendly competitions between coaches and players help create a positive culture. No surprise that those Warriors also made it to the NBA finals five years in a row in recent years, winning three championships along the way.

But how do you follow the rule of positive psychology in your organization?

It's easier said than done, but you can start by implementing a few more rules at your workplace. For example:

The help-first rule: If you're in a difficult situation, and you notice someone else is too, try helping first. (Read more about the help-first rule here.)

The rule of recognition: Your default setting is to focus on what a person does right, and to make a point to commend the person for those positive actions, sincerely and specifically. (Read more about the rule of recognition here.)

The rule of turning critical into constructive: Transform your critical feedback by adding one word. Ask: "Can I share some constructive feedback with you?" (Read more about how to turn critical into constructive here.)

The rule of disagree and commit: Start with open, honest discussion and voice healthy disagreement. However, once a decision is made, any who still disagree must "commit;" they should fully support the decision and try their best to make it work. (Read more about the rule of disagree and commit here.)

The rule of reappraisal: When you feel overwhelmed, don't focus on what you have ahead of you. Instead, look back on what you have already accomplished and use that to motivate you. (Read more about the rule of reappraisal here.)

These rules are just a start, to help get you moving in the right direction. The key is to recognize that culture doesn't just happen. You have to implement processes, habits, and rules that everyone follows, top to bottom.

Andacknowledge that the best foundation you can build upon is a positive one.

So, if you're leading a team, why not take a page out of the Rams playbook and follow the rule of positive psychology?

Because if there's anything Super Bowl LVI taught us, it's that the "nice" approach may be exactly what you -- and your team -- needthe most.

The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.

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The Los Angeles Rams Used a Simple Rule of Psychology to Win the Super Bowl. It's a Lesson in Emotional Intelligence - Inc.

(Image: Ridofranz/Getty)

Its fair to say that after a failed relationship or 12, I (and many like me) have abandoned the idea of happily ever after. We hope, at best, for happily for three months and an amicable separation.

We can chalk it up to cynicism, or bad luck, but positive psychology experts, Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, along with her husband James O. Pawelski, believe its something differentand have ideas on how to find the happily ever after that many of us have given up on. And their ideas, based in both ancient wisdom and modern science, resonateeven with a cynic like me.

No matter what type of relationship you are talking about, it takes effort. Just like any skill or talent in life, you have to work for it to be a successyou have to practice and train. No one expects to wake up tomorrow and run a marathon, and relationships are the same way, believes Suzie.

It doesnt help that we are inundated with unrealistic portrayals of relationships through every aspect of pop-culture: fairy tales, movies, television shows, even music. Suzie notes that the romantic notion of soul mates, where we expect this magical person to complete us can actually be detrimental to relationships.

James and I have nothing against the concept of soul mates if what you mean by the term is finding a person with whom you forge a deep connection, but the way soul mates are often depicted in pop-culture gives people the impression they just show up in your life through the right set of serendipitous circumstances.

That perspective can actually be an obstacle to healthy relationships. Relying on fate can lead to inaction on our part. It can also lead to an overdependence on the other person. And finally, it can be difficult to sustain. Finding a partner that you can be happy with requires you to be proactive. It requires effort and work.

In our culture, we put so much emphasis on finding Mr. or Ms. Right, and then marrying them, she continues. And thats the end of the expectationsno one talks about what happens once the wedding is over. No one writes Part 2 of the fairy tale about what happens after they ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

There are no courses in school about how to survive and thrive in relationships, yet scientific studies have found that having satisfying and sustainable relationships is one of the most important factors associated with personal happiness and aging well.

This absence of education is part of what motivated Suzie and James to explore the science of positive psychologythe study of what makes individuals and communities thriveto see how it can be used to help foster healthy relationships. Using the results of positive psychology research, they created an engaging and interactive 12-lesson course on how to build love that lasts.

Here are four quick tips from Suzie and James:

When Not to Follow the Golden Rule

When it comes to events like Valentines Day, communication is key to managing expectations. This is one place where we might want to question The Golden Rule of Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Often, we assume our partner wants the same thing we do.

But you might want chocolate and flowers, while your partner may prefer an experience you can enjoy as a couple. For this reason, its important to ask questions of your partner, listening to and acknowledging what they want and need. Putting the shoe on the other foot, so to speak.

We cant assume our partner knows what we want without being told. So, we need to share our wants and needs with them. And since we are both continually changing, this type of communication can help us understand one another on a deeper level, whether its our first Valentines Day together or our 50th.

Go Back to Go Forward

Look back to the beginning of the relationshipthe falling in love stage. What attracted you to your partner? What intrigued you? What strengths of theirs did you admire? Zest? Leadership? Analytical and critical thinking?

Sometimes these same traits that initially attracted us start to annoy us because we are no longer focusing on whats right with our partner, but rather are dwelling on whats wrong. Through this negative lens, those unique differences in our partner are now seen as deficits.

That leadership personality you fell for can now seem bossy. But thinking back to the beginning, remembering why you found your partners strengths attractive, and then celebrating them can help bring back the positivity you shared.

When we use our own strengths on a daily basis, we grow as individuals. When we help our partners use their strengths and celebrate them, we grow as a couple.

Small Moments Matter

One of the most important things we can do is to slow down and savor the daily moments. We so frequently move at such rapid speeds that many moments slip by unnoticed. And with that we miss opportunities to connect with our loved one. But happiness is found in the small moments.

All we have in life are moments, so be present in the moments shared with your partner. Stop multi-tasking and give your partner your full attention when approached. Really listen, acknowledge, and responddont just react, and dont go on automatic pilot with your replies.

Prioritize Positivity

Dont try to force yourself, or your partner, to be happy. That is likely to backfire. Instead, do what the happiest people do: prioritize positivity. In other words, notice what activities bring joy to your life and then schedule them into your day. The activities will differ from person to person, of course, since we have unique strengths and personalities.

What can you do for yourself, and with your partner, that will bring you delight? Take a walk, cook a meal, watch a realistic romantic movie (Suzie recommends As Good as It Gets), garden whatever you love. Dont just wait for enjoyable things to happen. By pursuing our beloved interests and hobbies, positive emotions are more likely to occur.

Excerpt from:

A Cynic's Guide to Finding Love That Lasts - The Great Courses Daily News

Were four days out from the start of Super Rugby and the harsh reality of Covid has set in across the Tasman, with a leading rugby writers bitter lament for the state of the competition that were about to see.

New Zealand Herald rugby writer Gregor Paul has cast a, well pall, over what should be a bright new dawn for the game, likening Super Rugby to the punch-drunk, veteran boxer being forced into the ring to keep collecting a paycheck.

Super Rugby kicks off this weekend, or probably will, and never has the sense of anticipation been less, Paul wrote on Tuesday.

Even when the competition was full of junk teams and shorn of sabbatical-taking All Blacks there was always still some lingering hope the whole thing would somehow ignite and produce a few tales of the unexpected.

But alas, what was once the greatest oval ball show on the planet a fast and furious, all-glamour adventure to the Southern Hemispheres most iconic rugby citadels has been reduced, for the next month, to a handful of teams kicking a ball about in the local park behind the Four Square in Queenstown.

The New Zealand teams, and Moana Pasifika, have been confined in a hub in Central Otago, with games to be missing fans as New Zealand struggles with Covid restrictions.

Already an outbreak has impacted the schedule, with the opening match between Moana Pasifika and the Blues postponed due to positive tests. That leaves the Waratahs and Fiji Drua to get the competition underway on Friday night in Sydney.

As Paul argued, the situation is one of getting by rather than making waves in New Zealand, with NZR hell-bent on satisfying broadcasters above anything else.

For the next month, the mindset is that the show must go on, he wrote. Pick up the dog shit and the stray booze cans chucked by the underage drinkers and get 30 players any 30 players who have produced a negative RAT test out there.

Anton Lienert-Brown of the Chiefs (Photo by Fiona Goodall/Getty Images)

Thats all that matters because decamping to Queenstown is an exercise in buying time as much as it is about preserving income.

To gain its full broadcast fee, NZR have to deliver not just the New Zealand component of Super Rugby but the trans-Tasman element, too.

If too many games are cancelled in the next few weeks, there wont be any time left to ram them in later, so NZR are gambling that they can smash through their domestic fixtures from the relative security of their Queenstown bio-bubble, by which time, the Omicron wave may have peaked.

Paul said he had sympathy for NZR, but the risks are high.

To be fair to NZR, what else can they do? Paul wrote. They came up with a Super Rugby Pacific format that everyone loved and through circumstances beyond their control they can no longer deliver as intended.

But for all their tenacity to keep the competition alive, they know, as does everyone else, that it will take a miracle for this to not be yet another year in which Super Rugby endures prolific brand damage.

For all of Pauls reservations, the show will go on and with some tweaks to the rules this season.

In a media briefing ahead of the new season, New Zealand Rugby referee manager Bryce Lawrence and NZR head of high performance Mike Anthony revealed that Australian teams have accepted golden point to decide tied games, while dumping the captains challenge that proved controversial in Super Rugby Aotearoa last year.

The red card replacement rule return, with World Rugby granting dispensation for the rule change to be continued.

The captains challenge was not used in Super Rugby AU or TT last season but caused issues in the NZ only competition.

It allowed captains the opportunity to ask the referee (until unsuccessful) to refer to the TMO for an infringement in the lead-up to a try, or to review foul play.

In a sport already blighted by stoppages it just slowed them down even further.

The golden point extra time rule had been in Super Rugby Aotearoa the past two years, but not in the trans-Tasman comp as the New Zealand and Australia unions couldnt agree on it.

But now with a competitions committee for Super Rugby Pacific, it went to vote, and got support.

We had complete consensus across all of our clubs, Anthony said of the Kiwi view.

Australia were really keen on a golden try. But we felt that it could prolong the game and use all the 10 minutes [extra time] and potentially not get an outcome. And a bit of a concern from us [was] around teams playing negatively to negate try-scoring.

The red-card replacement rule, where a sent-off player can be subbed after 20 minutes, has been in Super Rugby AU and Aotearoa the past two seasons. World Rugby rejected it as part of their global law trials but it was introduced to the Rugby Championship and stays for Super Rugby Pacific.

Other global law trials such as the goal-line dropouts and 50-22 kicks remain.

Meanwhile AAP reports that after an unprecedented winless campaign last year, the Waratahs kick off their 2022 Super Rugby Pacific season on Friday night following an unbeaten trial run.

The mood in the camp from last year and now, after dam-busting wins over the Brumbies, Queensland Reds and combined Shute Shield opposition, is like chalk and cheese.

The Tahs have no doubt that last years trials and tribulations have helped them bounce back stronger.

If you were in our change rooms after a couple of our losses last year, youd know that its not a very nice place to be, Waratahs hardman Will Harris said on Tuesday.

And pretty much everyone in our squad was in those change rooms and knows what that felt like and is really determined not to feel like that again.

Its not very nice.

Were excited to announce the launch of The Roar Rugby Podcast co-hosted by our experts Brett McKay and Harry Jones and featuring some special guests. You can check out the trailer below and the guys will be back for a full Super Rugby preview on Wednesday.

As tough as last year was, Harris says the despair and humiliation of defeat after defeat after defeat for 13 matches in total was also character building.

Its a bit of a revenge story, isnt it? Everyones sort of bloods boiling after last year, he said.

Although we werent getting the results on the field and that was tough, the group still stayed really tight, which is a credit to all the boys.

There were no chinks in the group. We all stayed really close. Theres a lot of love and were all buying in for each other at the moment.

As far as mindset changes, its just been nice to win a couple of games.

Winning makes a big difference for me personally and I know the Waratahs as an organisation, everything is about winning.

Professional sport is all about winning and weve got a few wins under our belt now. Theyre only trials. We know that means nothing and weve got no points on the board but just winning is a habit.

Now weve got a few on the board, hopefully that can continue.

Harris says facing the Fijian Drua at Parramattas Bankwest Stadium in the competition newcomers eagerly awaited debut is a privilege.

We didnt win a game and were really excited about putting our best foot forward this weekend and trying to win our first Super Rugby game in a while, the back-rower said.

The Drua upset the Melbourne Rebels in their one and only trial last week to provide early vindication for inclusion after serving a three-year apprenticeship in the National Rugby Championship.

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'Pick up the dog sh-- and booze cans': NZ pundit's bleak view of Super Rugby launch, Kiwis win battle over golden point rule - The Roar

(Author's note: The story of Fred Francis has been recounted many times for Kewaneeans since his death in 1926. Called a recluse, hermit, eccentric, and other names, apt or not, Francis had a brilliant mechanical mind. But to think only of his inventions is too limiting. Its fair to say he was a brilliant man, recognized by friends as a deep thinker whose thoughts were worthy of hearing and heeding.

Im going to rely on one of Francis close friends to give us perhaps a little different perspective on this genius of the Illinois prairie, written just six months before Francis died in December 1926.)

Just dont litter up his dooryard with papers and rubbish, treat him somewhat after the fashion of the Golden Rule and youll find him a genial and kindly host, proud of the work of his hands, as he has every right to be, and youll learn a lot of things from him too, if you heed his counsel.

Those were the last words of an article written in 1926 by Russell T. Neville, Kewanee attorney, amateur photographer, and close friend of Fred Francis. Neville wrote about his dear friend after a visit with him at his home northeast of Kewanee, which he called Woodland Palace, six months before Francis died. Neville had known Francis for 25 to 30 years, and had visited him 40 to 50 times since the death of Freds wife in 1921.

Francis had also visited Neville in his office many times.

Reading Nevilles story provides a little additional insight into Francis and why Francis Park exists today.

Upon arriving that day at Francis home, Neville described the pencil-written neat sign on the rough wooden gate to his friends property: Well bred folks ask permission.

After entering the grove of majestic oak and hickory trees through a latched wicket, Neville described a wood post with another sign: STOP READ THIS. Grounds are free for all who do right and all such are welcome. Those who throw paper and rubbish on the ground, meddle with property or let kids do so are hereby cordially invited to stay away.

A smaller sign below warned visitors: Keep out of the ruts. (The latter sign was intended for those driving automobiles.)

Francis owned quite a bit of very pretty timber land surrounding his home, and to the east of his house stood a picturesque grove of trees used by many for picnicking. Hence the signs. On the grounds, Neville observed the small log cabin Francis built to replicate the one in which he was born and using logs from that old cabin.

Following the ornamental hedge to a grill gate, Neville arrived at the yard of Woodland Palace, one of the most unique homes it has ever been our fortune to visit. It was still being built because Francis believed that he will continue working on it as long as he lives. Neville described the house as not only of odd design, but it has many interesting features of construction.

Those features included the brick and stone home with a poured concrete roof over part of it (it is safe to say that he owns the only roof like this in the country); unique mechanical entry doors (an ingenious arrangement of ropes and pulleys and levers entirely too deep for a non-mechanical mind to fathom); a clever fireplace; the glass enclosed, domed room built for his late wife, Jeanie (Mr. Francis built this glass room and tenderly nursed her for months, prolonging her life by his careful and loving attentions); an intricately constructed, elaborate chandelier; and other ingenious devices.

As he went up the stairs to the first floor, Neville saw Francis 1878 diploma from the Illinois Institute University (now the University of Illinois), along with a large frame filled with an abstruse mathematical calculation that occupied his mind for years until he invented [a new] mathematics to solve it.

According to Neville, [i]t has always seemed that here was a man capable of supplying about every material need by his own efforts. If he were cast away on a desert island with a pop bottle, wed expect him to have a magnifying glass, clothes, and everything else he needed by the time he was rescued.

Neville remarked on Francis different eating habits, which included using no condiments, and also [he] does not eat many of the food stuffs we mostly depend on. The fruit he raises on his own place, preserved by his own hands supplemented by nuts and fruits and some rough fodder he buys are sufficient for this remarkable man.

After graduating from the university, Francis had been employed by the Elgin Watch Company for years, and there was evidence of that in the house. Weve seen some the mechanical drawings and plates made by him [at the watch company] and . . . [t]hey are as perfect and delicate as any copper plate you ever saw. But Francis retired after he had made enough to live on for the rest of his life.

Neville described his friend as a hale, hearty man in his seventies. . . . a striking figure with his long bushy beard and hair, his vigorous health and energy . . . the envy of many younger men. Neville noted that Jeanie had died five years earlier, and Francis had since lived in his home alone.

But Neville may have been most impressed by Francis as a deep student and thinker. He holds original ideas along many lines, and his speech is thought provoking. You may not agree with some of his theories, but youll admit that they are the result of much deep thought and study . . .

Neville then divulged that, because the university held a special place in his heart, Francis was quite anxious that the Henry County Alumni use a part of his grounds for picnic purposes . . . . And, Neville continued, Francis has also made elaborate plans for the future use of his home, when he was done with it, contemplating that it will be an art gallery and museum open to the public.

Nevilles story ended without anticipation of his friends death. Neville later said that Francis knew that some people did not approve of his mode of living but he was going to live his life as he chose.

Fred Francis died on December 22, 1926. His death was originally found to be as the result of natural causes, and he was cremated according to the terms of his will. After cremation, however, evidence suggested that Francis had shot himself with a revolver found at the scene along with a note which read in relevant part: Hernia. Could not stand the pain.

While there was no change in the official finding of natural causes, most believe that Francis had killed himself because of the untreatable pain his infirmity caused him.

In his will, Francis left all of his land and his personal property to the city of Kewanee for use as a city park, to be called Francis Park. Francis had included a number of stipulations which, if not met, would result in his estate going to the University of Illinois.

All of the stipulations, however, were observed, and eventually Kewanee took possession of the land, Woodland Palace, and all of Francis personal property. By 1930, an estimated 15,000 people were using the park annually.

For the most part, the park remained unchanged. But in the 1960s there were a number of renovations made. In 1974, the Illinois State Historical Society designated Woodland Palace as an Historical Site. In 1975, Woodland Palace was placed on the National Register of Historic Places.

As a kid in the 1950s, I vaguely remember my moms side of the family holding pig roasts at Francis Park. The men would get up early, head to the park, start the fire, and then begin the spit-roasting process. Although Fred Francis wouldnt have joined in the later feast, Im sure he would have enjoyed see a large family using his land for a get together. Whats more, Im sure he would have enjoyed regaling us with his thoughts on a panoply of topics.

And perhaps we would have taken heed.

Read more here:

Dean Karau on Kewanee history: A new perspective of Fred Francis and his famous park - Kewanee Star Courier

The red flag emoji made waves throughout social media in the fall of 2021. People jumped on the trend to hilariously share with the world their biggest deal breakers during social interactions. For example, tweets like I like pineapple on my pizza or text slow but always on social media were followed with a slew of red flag emojis.

Valentines Day is upon us and its time we revisit these sometimes silly, but often crucial little flags hinting at a potential character flaw. Whether youre celebrating the holiday with a partner or dwelling on your perpetually single livelihood, our dating lives could all benefit by knowing what to look out for.

Being safe online

The current dating environment exists almost exclusively online and on apps. Its easier and greatly expands our selection. Leah Sefor is known as South Africas go-to life and relationships expert. According to her bio she has worked with individuals, couples and organizations in over 10 countries for more than 26 years as a life, relationships and communications specialist. I talked to her a bit about the dating scene today.

In terms of online dating, Sefor says that being too open and overly willing to give strangers the benefit of the doubt might help you to meet more people .. but that behavior might also blind you to unhealthy red flags that could be waving right in front of you. Some of Sefors online dating red flags are:

Theres also importance to research before meeting someone in person. DePaul senior Mason Abernethy said I know that everyone does this and doesnt want to admit I search the girl up on Instagram and try to figure out her interests and whatnot. This is a way to ensure the person is not catfishing you or showing incongruent behaviors as Sefor notes above. But for Abernethy, his curiosity tends to outweigh his skepticism.

Personally, Ive never had a time where I didnt meet up with someone because of their red flags Ive just been too curious to figure out who they were, he said. Theres certainly differing levels of caution between men and women in the world we live in.

The golden rule is this: If something doesnt feel right, trust your gut! Sefor said. If youre feeling spontaneous, just make sure youre meeting in a public setting and keeping yourself safe.

Dont forget green flags

When the red flag trended on social media, many decided to flip the script and post their green flags, or things they look for in a partner. In a Twitter poll, there was a mixed reaction with 47.1 percent saying they look for both, 29.4 percent only look for red flags while 23.5 percent only look for green flags.

When Im looking for a relationship, I think I tend to focus more on the green flags at first, DePaul junior Linder Bozeman said. As the relationship develops, the red flags ultimately show themselves and it forces me to look at them.

Sefor said we should seek to find a balanced view. She said looking for the positives or green flags is incredibly important to know if you are compatible and your values align.

Some of her most vital green flags to watch for are:

Dont let your relationship blind you

Getting into a relationship nowadays can be incredibly difficult, so we tend to let our guards down when we find our person.

The problem in a long term relationship is that when the toxic behavior starts, you dont want to believe it, so you find ways to rationalize whats going on, Sefor said.

In another Twitter poll asking if people in a relationship still look for their partners red flags, 30 percent said they do not. Sefor has advice for those who are currently off the market:

It helps to have a partner that is very understanding and patient, Bozeman said. Again, Sefors advice of trusting your gut remains consistent in this situation as well.

The outsiders responsibility

Oftentimes, we find ourselves on the outside of a friend, family member or coworkers relationship. We hold a position of responsibility when it comes to ensuring our loved ones safety and wellbeing. She has some tips to look out for:

Sefor said its important for those in potentially volatile relationships to listen to those around them. No one knows you as well as your family and closest friends when theyre voicing concern about your relationships and changes that theyve seen in you, dont get defensive listen, because you may be too far in to see whats really happening, she said.

If this is happening to someone you love, Sefor advises you to find a way to separate them from their partner address your concerns offer to help them walk away call the police if its serious take action before its too late.

Go here to read the rest:

Roses are red, but flags can be too - The Depaulia

It's safe to say the start to the 2022 Winter Olympics did not go well for American skier Mikaela Shiffrin.

The 26-year-old from Colorado recorded a DNF on her first run of the women's giant slalom competition, knocking her out of the opportunity to defend her gold medal from 2018.

"I'm gonna reset and focus on what I can control for the slalom," Shiffrin said Monday after the race. "Still a long two weeks to go and I'm still forward to it.

"I'm sorry that that was the performance I did today but that also happens. I won't hide the disappointment but I'm also not going to dwell on it because that's not gonna help me at all."

Defending Olympic champion Mikaela Shiffrin received a "did not finish" in the women's giant slalom competition after missing an early gate and falling seconds into her first run, taking her out of the event.

The mindset is now on the slalom event, which Shiffrin already has a gold medal in. As an 18-year-old in 2014, Shiffrin finished at the top of the podium in her first Olympics. She just missed out on a medal in the event in 2018, coming in fourth.

The three-time Olympian is racing in her first Games without her father, who passed away in February of 2020 unexpectedly due to a head injury. He was 65 years old.

Watch all the action from the Beijing Olympics live on NBC

"He taught us so many valuable lessons but above everything else, he taught us the golden rule: be nice, think first," Shiffrin said. "This is something I will carry with me forever. He was the firm foundation of our family and we miss him terribly."

Shiffrin seriously considered retiring after his death, but elected to continue on with her alpine skiing career.

If Shiffrin were to medal tonight, she would join her boyfriend, Aleksander Aamodt Kilde of Norway, as a medalist in Beijing. The skier won bronze in the men's super-G competition.

While Shiffrin offers the U.S. the best chance at a medal, she isn't the lone American in the competition. Paula Moltzan, Katie Heinsien and A J Hurt will also be in the event.

The first run of the women's slalom is schedule for 9:15 p.m. EST tonight with the second and final run expected to take place at 12:45 a.m. EST on Wednesday morning.

Link:

Can Mikaela Shiffrin Win Team USA's First Gold of the 2022 Olympics Tonight? - NBC New York

Be it a long-distance relationship or sneaking in some thrill to your daily life, sexting is a go-to solution for spicing it up, for many modern couples. While many have become a pro at it, the initial hesitancy while sending out your first intimate picture to your partner is relatable to almost every individual out there. Sending sexually charged texts might come as an urge, but you should also ensure that the whole ordeals click all the boxes in your safety checklist.

Women often feel concerned about when does a man become worthy of receiving intimate pictures from them? Has he earned the trust? Will he ensure these pictures remain private? Worry not, we can help you figure out an answer for these questions and any more.

Trigger Warning: This article contains mentions of voyeurism, sexting and hazards on the net.

Our first partner is always our body, that too, a life-long one. Before any other relationship, every individuals prime focus must be developing a healthy relationship with ones body, irrespective of how they look like. And once you have done that, congratulations, you have already taken the first and most important step towards safe sexting.

Suggested Reading:Stalking In DMs: Heres How To Identify Creeps In Your Dating Pool

But what is sexting exactly and how do you know you are doing it? From as simple as a kiss emoji (or suggestive emojis) to as intimate as a what are you wearing under your dress? text, sexting can range accordingly, depending on your understanding and several other factors. There is no one way to sext- you can perform it over text messages, snaps and videos, voice messages or even video calls.

Sexting can also be defined as a combination of sex and texting or the practice of sex over texting. It is basically sending out sexually explicit messages, photos or videos via any digital device.

However suggestive a person might sound, you must take proper consent from your partner before sending them your sext. At the end of the day, no one wants an unwanted picture in their gallery. Hence, it is always a must to take the consent of a person before sending out your snap to them. Similarly, do not let any person coerce a consent out of you, and demand or send you intimate pictures that you are not ready to view or share.

Before acting out on a single text, try and build a conversation in order to take it slow. This will further give you a better chance to receive a more definite confirmation from the other person. This will also let your partner know that you are ready for it and vice versa.

When you are sexting via video messages, calls or pictures, always take time before showing your face and do so only when you are confident and trust the other person. Just like sex, sexting as well should be done when and only when you are completely sure that you want it and are in your comfort zone. Make sure that you are not doing it under the pressure of anyone.

If someone is not comfortable in sexting for personal reasons, do not force them into it or try to manipulate them. Respect their choice. You also need to understand that there are levels to sexting. So while someone may be up to sending a sexy text message, they might note be okay to send an intimate video or voice note and that is completely fine.

Suggested Reading:We Were Doing LOL and LOL in DMs. And Then We Met

Even while online, you must be careful. Always keep your phone, especially your gallery protected with a password. You dont want anyone else to find out your as well as your partners intimate photos.

It is also important to delete all the data from your phone. This isnt to secure your sexts from falling into hands of other people, but to ensure that they cannot be misused digitally if at all your phone gets hacked or you accidentally grant access to your pictures, messages etc to a third-party app.

There is no golden rule to sext. You can stop whenever you want to, take the time or discontinue even if you are in the middle of sexting.

Lastly, if someone is indulging with you in sharing intimate pictures or videos, it is obvious that they trust you. So make sure you dont break their trust by forwarding their messages to someone else. Remember, leaking someones pictures/videos without their consent is a criminal offence and can lead to imprisonment.

Original post:

From Taking It Slow To Respecting Consent: All You Need To Know About Safe Sexting - SheThePeople

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We have developed relationships over the years with manufacturers of quality materials and products across the building spectrum. Visit our Design Center Showroom to take a look up-close.

From labor to leads, our team is comprised of folks who are not only excellent at their jobs, but who are also excellent at life. All have passed background checks, take pride in their work, and know that they dont just work here; they are part of the Golden Rule Builders family.

Wouldnt it be terrific if you could stay informed about the status of your project at any time, and communicate directly with the right team members for any stage of your project? We use a tool called JobPilot that does just that. When you become a client of Golden Rule Builders, youll have access to real-time information, and youll be able to communicate with your team throughout the building process.

Located in Catlett, Virginia, we are conveniently positioned to serve the entire northern Virginia area. This includes the counties of Fauquier, Loudoun, Prince William, Fairfax, Culpeper, Rappahannock, Stafford, Fredericksburg, Warren, and Clarke. Whether youre in Middleburg or Upperville, Warrenton or Paris, we are happy to build or remodel for you throughout the general Piedmont region. Golden Rule Builders is prepared to handle every aspect of the building or remodeling process for you. We look forward to working with you to make your dream home a reality!

If you are ready to learn more and take the next step toward your new home or home improvement goals, contact Golden Rule Builders today!

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Golden Rule Builders: New Home Construction, Kitchen ...

It's safe to say the start to the 2022 Winter Olympics did not go well for American skier Mikaela Shiffrin.

The 26-year-old from Colorado recorded a DNF on her first run of the women's giant slalom competition, knocking her out of the opportunity to defend her gold medal from 2018.

"I'm gonna reset and focus on what I can control for the slalom," Shiffrin said Monday after the race. "Still a long two weeks to go and I'm still forward to it.

"I'm sorry that that was the performance I did today but that also happens. I won't hide the disappointment but I'm also not going to dwell on it because that's not gonna help me at all."

Defending Olympic champion Mikaela Shiffrin received a "did not finish" in the women's giant slalom competition after missing an early gate and falling seconds into her first run, taking her out of the event.

The mindset is now on the slalom event, which Shiffrin already has a gold medal in. As an 18-year-old in 2014, Shiffrin finished at the top of the podium in her first Olympics. She just missed out on a medal in the event in 2018, coming in fourth.

The three-time Olympian is racing in her first Games without her father, who passed away in February of 2020 unexpectedly due to a head injury. He was 65 years old.

Watch all the action from the Beijing Olympics live on NBC

"He taught us so many valuable lessons but above everything else, he taught us the golden rule: be nice, think first," Shiffrin said. "This is something I will carry with me forever. He was the firm foundation of our family and we miss him terribly."

Shiffrin seriously considered retiring after his death, but elected to continue on with her alpine skiing career.

If Shiffrin were to medal tonight, she would join her boyfriend, Aleksander Aamodt Kilde of Norway, as a medalist in Beijing. The skier won bronze in the men's super-G competition.

While Shiffrin offers the U.S. the best chance at a medal, she isn't the lone American in the competition. Paula Moltzan, Katie Heinsien and A J Hurt will also be in the event.

The first run of the women's slalom is schedule for 9:15 p.m. EST tonight with the second and final run expected to take place at 12:45 a.m. EST on Wednesday morning.

See more here:

Can Mikaela Shiffrin Win Team USA's First Gold of the 2022 Olympics Tonight? - NBC Chicago