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Category Archives: Childfree
Childless people over 50 are honestly reflecting on whether they made the right decision – Upworthy
Posted: February 11, 2022 at 7:00 am
People who decide not to have children are often unfairly judged by those who chose a different life path. People with children can be especially judgmental to women whove decided to opt out of motherhood.
You will regret it! is one of the most common phrases lobbed at those who choose to remain childless. Why do people think theyll have such awful regrets? Because they often say theyll wind up lonely and sad when theyre older.
They also say that life without children is without purpose and that when the childless get older theyll have no one to take care of them. One of the most patronizing critiques thrown at childless women is that they will never feel complete unless they have a child.
However, a lot of these critiques say more about the person doling them out than the person who decides to remain childless. Maybe, just maybe, their life is fulfilling enough without having to reproduce. Maybe, just maybe, they can have a life full of purpose without caring for any offspring.
Maybe the question should be: Whats lacking in your life that you need a child to feel complete?
Studies show that some people regret being childless when they get older, but theyre in the minority. An Australian researcher found that a quarter of child-free women came to regret the decision once they were past child-bearing age and began contemplating old age alone.
People revealed the reasons theyve decided to be childless in an article by The Upshot. The top answers were the desire for more leisure time, the need to find a partner and the inability to afford child care. A big reason that many women decide not to have children is that motherhood feels like more of a choice these days, instead of a foregone conclusion as it was in previous decades.
Reddit user u/ADreamyNightOwl asked a serious question about being childless to the AskReddit subforum and received a lot of honest answers. They asked People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not?
The people who responded are overwhelmingly happy with their decision not to have children. A surprising number said they felt positive about their decision because they thought theyd be a lousy parent. Others said they were happy to have been able to enjoy more free time than their friends and family members who had kids.
Here are some of the best responses to the Askreddit question.
"I explain it to people like this - you know that feeling you get where you just can't wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. Its basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way.
"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own." IBeTrippin
"Nope. It was never something I wanted. No regrets." BornaCrone
"I have mixed feelings. I don't care much for children and I think it would have been disastrous for us to have them. I was also able to retire at 52. Pretty sure that wouldn't have happened with kids. So yeah, absolutely the right decision.But I love my family and I do wonder what it would be like to have my own, to teach my child the things I know and not to be without someone who cares about me at the time of my death.
"But again, absolutely the right decision and at 55 I'm very happy NOT to have them. This is reinforced every time I'm exposed to other people's kids." ProfessorOzone
"My wife worked at a nursing home for years. Imagine seeing for years that over 95% of old people never have family visit. Till they die and people want a piece of the pie. This when I learned that the whole 'well who is gonna visit you or take care of you when you're older' line is complete bullshit. We decided to not have kids ever after that. Made great friends and saw the world. No regrets." joevilla1369
"I don't necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn't in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least. So yeah... I have regrets." MaerakiStudioMe
"No. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry my husband. He had two sons from his first marriage and a vasectomy. He was worried because I was so young (comparatively, he's 10 years older). I did think it over seriously and concluded that a life with him compared to a life without him but (perhaps!) with a baby I didn't even have yet was what I wanted. It worked out for us, we've been together for 26 years. As a bonus I have 9 grandchildren. All the fun without the work of the raising!" Zublor
"Not one bit. I have never believed that I would be a good parent. I have a short temper, and while I don't think I would have been physically abusive, my words and tone of voice would be harsh in a very similar way to my own father. I wasn't happy growing up with that kind parent and I wouldn't want to subject any child to that kind of parenting." Videoman7189
"No and I found a partner who feels the same. We are the cool aunt and uncle." laudinum
"54 yrs.old. I've lived the past 30 years alone. Presently my dog and I are chillin' in a nice hotel on a spur of the moment vacation. I'd maybe be a grandfather by now?! I can't imagine what it would be like to have family. I picture a life lived more "normally" sometimes. All sunshine and roses, white picket fence, etc. but I realize real life isn't like that. No I don't regret being childfree or wifefree for that matter. My life can be boring at times but then I look back at all the drama that comes with relationships and think I've dodged a bullet. I spent 20 years trying to find a wife to start a family. Then I realized the clock had run out, so fuck it, all the money I'd saved for my future family would be spent on myself. Hmmmmm...what do I want to buy myself for Christmas?" Hermits_Truth
"Nope. I never had the urge to change diapers or lose sleep, free time and most of my earnings. Other people's kids are great. Mostly because they are other people's. When people ask 'Who will take care of you when you're old' I tell them that when I'm 75 I will adopt a 40-year-old." fwubglubbel
"Im 55 (F) and never wanted children. I just dont much like them, and 20+ years of motherhood sounded (and still sounds) like a prison sentence. Maternal af when it comes to cats and dogs, but small humans? No chance.
"And Im very happy to be childless. Cannot imagine my life any other way." GrowlKitty
"Dual income no kids = great lifestyle!" EggOntheRun
"Over 50 and child free. My only regret is that my wife would have been a great mother, and sometimes I feel like I deprived her of that, even though we both agreed we didnt want kids. Sometimes I wonder if I pushed her into that decision. She works with the elderly every day and sees a lot of lonely folks so it gets to her sometimes. I was always afraid Id screw up the parenting thing, so I was never really interested in the idea. Im a loner by nature though." Johnny-Virgil
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Childless people over 50 are honestly reflecting on whether they made the right decision - Upworthy
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Raised By Wolves Season 2 Casts Real Life Partners and Age – Daily Research Plot
Posted: at 7:00 am
Raised By Wolves Season 2 Updates: American sci-fi TV series Raised by Wolves is a post-apocalyptic drama that sets on a different planet Kepler-22b where two androids- Father and Mother are raising human children. The series premiered on September 3, 2020, on HBO and the second season arrived on February 3, 2022.
Created by Aaron Guzikowski, the TV Series involves a group of talented and brilliant cast members with six of them joining newly in the second season. Now let us see how the actors and actresses starring in the popular drama are in real lives.
Mother is the android built by an atheist scientist and sent to Kepler- 22b to raise the human community there with her partner Father, another android. At the end of season one, she gave birth to a mysterious serpent-like creature whom she wanted to destroy but ended up setting the childfree at the tropical zone of the planet.
The 35 years old Danish actress has been found starring in other Danish films like The Exception, The Horrible Woman. She has kept her personal life out of the spotlight, so much has not been disclosed about it. Collin is married and the mother of one daughter.
Paul is the son of real Marcus and Sue whose identities get stolen by Caleb and Mary to take over the Mithraic ship. Mother and Father kidnaps Paul with four other children from the Ark of Heaven. Paul carries a pet rat that Marcus gave him. Eventually, he as well begins to hear a voice that he believes to be Sols which tells him about the real identity of Sue. He suits her after that.
Felix is a young American actor of 14 years old who is known for performing in Game of Thrones, The Ghost.
Mother and Fathers only surviving son Campion is born from the embryos taken from Earth. Though the androids raise him as an atheist, he eventually gains faith and empathy. He has natural leadership qualities and grows up a friendship as well as rivalry with Paul.
The 17 years old Australian actor also starred in Doctor Doctor, an Australian TV Show.
Father was created alongside Mother to raise the human colony in Keplar-22. Father was once reprogrammed by the invading Mithraic. Mother and Father were sometimes seen to fight over their mission regarding the children.
The 29 years old British actor starred in Jamestown series. He is still unmarried and much is not known about his relationship status.
Hunter is the older son kidnapped by Mother and Father. He is a headstrong boy who believes his status to be higher than the rest because of his high-ranking Mithraic official father. Hunter is also very technically proficient and he is able to reprogram Father which eventually helps all the kids to escape Marcus and rejoin Mother.
This 23-year-old Afro-British actor has acted in the miniseries The Long Song and film Break.
Marcus is the later identity of Caleb who goes to the rescue mission of the human children kidnapped by Mother for the human community in Keplar-22.
Caleb and his wife Mary had an android perform surgery on faces and set off to rescue mission to the planet under the identity of Mithraic couple. Later he begins to hear voices that he assumes to be of the Mithraic God Sol which eventually maddens him.
Travis Flimmel is an Australian actor and a former model. He previously acted in Historys Vikings. This 42-year-old actor is presently unmarried.
Calebs wife Mary takes the identity of Sue, Pauls mother to take over the Mithtaic ship. She treats Paul as her own son. Once on Kepler-22b, she is confronted with the change of Marcus who now thinks of himself as the prophet of Sol. Sue eventually joins Mother, Father, and the human children. After having the real identity Sue revealed, Paul suits her.
The Irish actress previously appeared in Deceit and recently started in Guy Ritchies Wrath of Man. The 29 years old actress won IFTA Film and Drama Awards for acting in The Virtues. Algar is currently dating Lorne MacFadyen who is also an actor.
The other children kidnapped by Mother and Father are Tempest played by Jordan Loughran, Holly as Aasiya Shah, Vita as Ivy Wong.
Peter Christoffersen (Cleaver)- A leader of the atheists.
Jennifer Saayeng (Nerva)- A tough atheist woman.
James Harkness (Tamerlane)- An atheist soldier.
Selina Jones (Grandmother)- A god-like android built years ago.
Kim Engelbrecht (Decima)- A highly educated scientist and weapon developer of Earth who was formally atheist, but later begins to believe in Sol.
Morgan Santo (Ville)- Built to look and behave like her human counterpart, a child who committed suicide, Vrille is a humanoid android. She treats Decima as her mother.
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Raised By Wolves Season 2 Casts Real Life Partners and Age - Daily Research Plot
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Don’t want kids in your next relationship? You’re not alone. Kindred is the new dating app that connects you with like-minded singles. – Pressat
Posted: February 1, 2022 at 2:53 am
London (UK), 10 February 2022 10th February 2022 marks the official launch of the Kindred dating app, offering a fresh solution to those seeking kid-free relationships.
Designed to connect like-minded singles in the dating world who either dont want or cant have children, Kindred cleverly removes the challenges many are faced with using mainstream dating apps. Its two child-free founders, Eleanor Brook-Hatch and Philip Wassouf, developed the idea out of frustrations they faced when constantly matching with people who either wanted kids, or were unsure about it, leading to wasted time and awkward dating experiences.
Kindred Managing Director and co-founder, Philip Wassouf, comments Ele and I have used all the well-known dating apps over the years. We struggled to connect with other singles who wanted to date and settle down without the pressures of having kids and, after digging deeper, realised we werent the only ones, by a long shot! Even though there are almost 3 million single parent families (Office for National Statistics, 2021), many of whom dont want more kids, and almost half of British women now hit thirty and are kid-free (Office for National Statistics, 2020), were still underserved by mainstream dating apps.
Asignificant and growing portion of the dating market are singles, who Kindred calls spirits, broadly falling into three lifestyles:
Kindred Communications Director and co-founder, Eleanor Brook-Hatch, adds More people than ever are looking for a kid-free relationship, with over a third of those without kids now saying theyll never have them (YouGov, 2020). We created Kindred to remove the need for the kids conversation and to connect singles whether theyre childfree, childless or parents.
Comments like youll change your mind or you just havent met the right person yet are about as welcome as dick pics for those of us looking for kid-free relationships, yet thats all too often the response from people.
The free version of the Kindred app allows you to filter spirits by lifestyle, swipe their profiles, and chat with your matches everything you need to start dating. Kindred also combats the issues of fake profiles by using selfie verification, and ensures high quality profiles by having all images and text reviewed and approved by real people.
Kindred Communications Director and co-founder, Eleanor Brook-Hatch, says We all want to find a partner whos on the same page about the big stuff. Many apps claim to have great algorithms or search filters but you can rarely filter for people who dont want kids or have to pay to do so. Thats not the case on Kindred. Everyone on the app is looking to meet and date fellow singles for a kid-free relationship.
Kindred also offers a premium membership which unlocks various features including more detailed search functions, a curated list of compatible spirits and priority placement in search results.
Kindred is offering six months of premium membership for free to any singles who sign up for the waiting list before the app launches in their area.
After launching in London, Kindred will make its way to the US later in the year then to Europe and the rest of the world.
Notes to Editors
Media Contact
Eleanor Brook-Hatch|Tel: +44 7397 929557 | Email:ele@thekindredlife.com
Text about founders
Kindred Co-Founders Phil andEle met on a mainstream dating app during the pandemic. Over probably too many drinks during their first few dates, they discussed the challenges and frustrations of finding a partner and the lack of apps that truly cater for the underserved yet growing community of singles looking for a kid-free relationship. So they decided to do something about it.
Phil runs hisown engineering software business which he started over ten years ago, andElehas over twenty years' experience workingas an EAwithin the media and entertainment industry.Together, they have the business, software and personal experience needed to create a dating app for kid-free relationships.
About Kindred
Kindred is a new dating app for people who want a kid-free relationship.The app launches in London on 10th Feb 2022 with a waiting list for other locations around the world.It will be available on the Apple App Store for iOS and the Google Play Store for Android, creating a safe space for Kindred spirits to match, meet and date.www.thekindredlife.com
References
Office for National Statistics. (2020, December 4). Childbearing for women born in different years, England and Wales: 2019. Retrieved from Office for National Statistics Web site: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/conceptionandfertilityrates/bulletins/childbearingforwomenbornindifferentyearsenglandandwales/2019
Office for National Statistics. (2021, March 2). Families and households in the UK: 2020. Retrieved from Office for National Statistics Web Site: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/families/bulletins/familiesandhouseholds/2020
YouGov. (2020, January 9). Why do people choose to not have children? Retrieved from YouGov Web Site: https://yougov.co.uk/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2020/01/09/why-are-britons-choosing-not-have-children
[end]
Press release distributed by Pressat on behalf of We Are Kindred, on Monday 31 January, 2022. For more information subscribe and follow https://pressat.co.uk/
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My sister-in-law stole BOTH my unique baby names I was devastated but she wasnt bothered at all… – The US Sun
Posted: at 2:53 am
WHEN it comes to baby names, theres a reason people decide to keep their favourite choices a secret.
But unfortunately for one woman from the UK, she found out the hard way after her sister-in-law stole both of her unusual baby names.
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Taking to Reddit, the devastated woman explained how she has known her sister-in-law for 10 years - even before she hooked up with her brother - and the pair of them would often talk about everything including baby names.
I have only ever had two baby names that I've loved - let's call them Sarah and Joe, and I've had them picked since my early teens (I'm now 28) so SIL definitely knew them - everyone in my family did, it wasn't a secret in anyway, she wrote.
She recalled: Fast forward a few years, SIL drops our friendship, marries my brother and gets pregnant.
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"The name is a secret and no one is told until she arrives that she's called Sarah, a few years later another baby comes along - again another secret name and boom! This one's a Joe!
The woman went on to explain that the fake names Sarah and Joe are bad examples because the monikers she had chosen were obscure, old English names.
They were certainly not names you would coincidentally stumble across on a baby name Google search, she added.
After the sister-in-law's announcement was made, she told how she was left devastated and said that it was gut-wrenching the first time, and heartbreaking the second - particularly because her heart was set on both names and she had no back ups.
But to make matters even worse, she revealed that her sister-in-law denied any knowledge of knowing they were both her favourite baby names and didnt seem to care at all by the devastation shed caused.
The woman went on to question whether she was wrong to be resentful towards her sister-in-law because she knows its not fair to try and save a name - but admitted that what she's done just doesnt feel right.
And many took to the comments section to agree that the sister-in-law was in the wrong and appeared to have acted out of spite.
"I'm childfree and usually think that issues like this are silly, but honestly your SIL is a massive AH, especially since she did this to you twice AND she's lying about not knowing that you wanted those names for your children," wrote one.
I was devastated to say the least, it was gut wrenching the first time and heart breaking the second
A second penned: "Do I think she chose the namesbecausethey were names you picked? Probably. Is that a messed up way to choose your kids' names? Definitely.
"Is it okay for you to be resentful about it? I mean, feelings are feelings...you can't control your emotional reaction."
Meanwhile, a third commented: "Sure, you cant call dibs on names but intent matters. I think if you and a friend/relative both come up with the same name independently, thats fair game.
"If somebody goes out of their way to one-up you by deliberately targeting names they know you wanted to use, then theyre being an AH."
She denied any knowledge of the names and didn't seem to care at all
However, others admitted they felt "torn" with how to feel about the unfortunate scenario.
"I am usually of the mindset that no one can save a name and if you tell someone a name and they use it thats on you," one penned. "I also got the sense you sensed some bad vibes, and there was implication in your post that she intended to name them these names not only because she liked the names but to hurt you."
"But at the same time, its just a name and being gutted or holding a grudge for so long isnt helpful. I have no judgement for you, other than to find other names for your potential future children and trust no one with them and to let it go."
Another agreed: "You cant call dibs on a name. Nothing is stopping you from still naming your children those names if you are still attached to them."
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On the topic of baby names, one pregnant woman expressed her shock at some of the "awful" names women give their kids.
These are themost popular baby names for tots born in January.
And this mum has given her totthe world's longest name, with 1,019 letters.
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The Biggest Barrier To Friendships In Your Thirties? Not …
Posted: January 19, 2022 at 10:46 am
Research (and your diary) shows that becoming a parent decreases contact with friends. But outside the baby bubble, asks Gemma Askham, 38, where does that leave the childfree?
The Instagram posts jolted me like turbulence. One friend announced her engagement; another posted the top table at her wedding (I didnt even know she was engaged). Surprise and joy turned into something sadder. When had we drifted so far? Living in different cities hadnt helped. Nor Covid British and French studies both found that lockdowns shrunk friendship circles. But, in truth, our worlds lost orbit two years earlier: when my now-engaged friend FaceTimed me clutching a bump instead of a G&T, and the other handed me an envelope and beamed as I pulled out a scan.
As someone childfree, a pregnancy announcement means that person is moving to a place Ill never quite get. Despite all the memories, laughs and common ground before, some things change instantly. My I cant wait to see you! is met with I cant wait for you to meet them! a third person already in our gang of two. Once a child is here, frustrations build. At gatherings, when the story youre telling gets cut off by a dropped spoon, you learn that everything you just uttered will have been forgotten. The chasm is felt both ways. During a weekend away with families, my husband and I messed up when the food we were making wasnt ready until after their kids mealtime. A mother would know what time children eat, one mum scolded.
#Childfree might be a growing Gen Z movement, with over 174 million TikTok views, but at 38 Im an outlier. They say the urge for offspring will come: when you meet the right person, own a house. Yet as I ticked off landmarks without a twinge, I realised that the desire to have children wasnt coming. When mums described the infinity of maternal love, or suggested we try to conceive and let nature decide as if my own choice couldnt be trusted I felt dysfunctional. A gay friend finally offered perspective. I cant explain why Im not attracted to women, other than that Im just not. I expect its the same for you not wanting children, he said, nailing it.
Simple and yet not, in practice. In my twenties, I remember the evening my housemate Julia told me she was moving in with her boyfriend. I was so happy for her and yet devastated. A decade older, Id be lying if I said I hadnt felt disappointment when yet another couple said they had some news particularly if I thought (or hoped) they would swerve children too.
Now in my late thirties, I ask if other women without children feel the same. Youre thrilled for them, but its also, Oh. Because thats it for the friendship as you loved it, confides one. Another feels displaced, particularly around Christmas. For years, you live, socialise and holiday together. Then, overnight, instead of you being their person, they have their own person, and everything falls out of sync routines, priorities, celebrations. Our group of uni friends would always hold a Christmas dinner together in early December. Now its a thing for the kids and we dont even get an invite.
Being childfree is uncharted social territory: even meeting new faces requires more than a free bar and a Secret Santa when youre older and breaking the mould. Last December, my husband Jordi and I moved to Paris. Wed previously lived in Sydney and Barcelona, and made friends easily. But this time I was 37 and Jordi was 40. Similar-aged expats were wrestling toddlers at the Disneyland Christmas Parade. During house party small talk, being a dog mum proved only so relatable to being a human mum: teething issues, yes, breastfeeding, less so. The motherhood questions came again. You dont feel anything? one asked, bemused, as she stared at the family portrait on her phone. It felt as if being childfree had sentenced us to being friend-free, too.
Loneliness made me inventive. I stopped for longer when I met other dog walkers, building a repertoire of faces, then names, then life stories. Instead of using Instagram to track old friends lives which really meant liking visual proof of our differences I pursued my love of interiors, building a network where we chatted design, irrespective of our ovaries. Offline, by surprise, I bonded with mums of teenagers who were also navigating a new life stage now time was their own again.
And when I did feel chemistry with a new mum, I demanded less accepting that a booked-weeks-in-advance dinner, with a booked-weeks-in-advance babysitter, could bring me joy even if we werent each others entire social worlds and hoped for more in time. Researchers in the Netherlands found that new parents friendships are weakest when a child turns three, but women regain contact with friends after their childs fifth birthday. Theres comfort in an academic study validating that drift is, indeed, A Thing and a temporary one.
Meanwhile, Ive made a discovery of my own: any new human in your life takes work, but they dont have to be baby-shaped to be fulfilling.
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My baby screeches like a banshee and my heart melts. What have I become? – The Guardian
Posted: at 10:46 am
Uh oh, it has happened. I have officially turned into that person. You know who I mean: the adult who seems oblivious to the fact that their screeching infant is not the most adorable thing to crawl the face of this Earth but an out-of-control noise machine. That person is the previously sensible and self-aware friend of yours who beams every time their perfect progeny farts or grunts, and acts like it is the cutest thing they have ever seen. What happened to you? I used to think, when I was childfree, and hung out with friends who had procreated. How do you not realise that your child is sort of annoying? What did parenthood do to your brain?
I do not have the scientific answers to this but I can say that parenthood has undoubtedly done a number on my own brain. I have 100% been baby-pilled. My eight month old will be screeching like a banshee and, instead of finding it irritating, I will look at her perfect little face and my heart will melt. I find myself googling things such as: if my baby screams a lot at an unusually high decibel level, does it mean that they are gifted? (The jury is out on that but my kid is obviously brilliant).
As well as being the smartest child ever, she is also exceptionally adorable. Everyone says so. The only time I have wondered if they might be politely lying is when I recently looked back at pictures of her as a newborn and realised that she was actually kind of funny-looking because, lets be honest, all newborns are funny-looking. They are hairy, wrinkly, little gremlins. I can see that now. Eight months ago, though, I was convinced she was nothing like other newborns; I was sure she was unusually perfect. Which, to be fair, she is. Hormones, eh? Theyre crafty so-and-sos.
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My baby screeches like a banshee and my heart melts. What have I become? - The Guardian
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Polly Vernon: ‘We Need To Stop Grilling Women About Whether They Have Children Or Not’ – Grazia
Posted: at 10:46 am
Forget those other new years resolutions the one thing we need to do, says Polly Vernon, is stop grilling each other about kids
I got a puppy. She is a dark apricot labradoodle, 14 weeks old at the time of writing; shes called Rita (as in: Heyworth, Ora, Fairclough, Sue And Bob, Too, yes), and to call her the best decision I ever made would be to undersell her butThis article is not really about her. This article is about all the people I meet because of her, people who never spoke to me before (because: London) who now stop and chat like weve been bezzie mates for years, because they need to go through me before they can drop to their knees and have my puppy fling herself joyfully into their outstretched arms, thereby making their day instantly, infinitely better than it would have been, you are welcome.
Do I mind? Hell, no! Its like living in this weird bubble of melty grinny goodwill, in which, everyone total strangers, people who knew you by reputation and thought you a bit of a twat, people you fell out with in 2017 is unbelievably delighted to see you (if only by association). But I have noticed a lot of them if only ever the female ones ask variations on a particular question, over and over, a question I think raises a point of busted etiquette. After the Obligatories (OH MY GOD, HES SO CUTE! Oh, sorry, sorry: shes a girl! Awwwwww! How old? What breed? Whats her name? OH MY GOD, SHES SO CUTE!) comes a speciously related, distinctly unnecessary follow-up: I bet your kids adore her, dont they? (or similar).
Those of you whove read my stuff before will possibly know I dont have kids. You might also know this is a I was going to say choice, but my childfree existence is much more than that. Its a joyous rejection of everything society really deep down still expects of me (of every woman, at the end of the day), and its based on an instinctive, absolute knowledge that motherhood wouldnt suit me (this came to me when I was a child), backed up by a few decades of experience, intellectual reasoning, and the fact that, even though everyone told me a biological clock would erupt at some point it did not. Unsurprisingly, given I know myself better than anyone who ever said: Oooh, bet youll regret it! to me, to the current moment, I can say with absolute confidence: I have never regretted anything less.
Give or take Rita.
But, then how to react to all the puppy interrogators? If I simply say: Uh, I actually havent got kids, they might pity me (ugh). If I add: Never wanted them, awful business, cant imagine why anyone does terrible for the planet that sounds prickly to the point of being unconvincing, and as for the other stuff I teeter on the verge of saying (I totally could have had them? Stable relationship, financially viable; oh, and like, super-fertile? Had an abortion or three, as it happens), thats venturing into the realm of just being poisonous.
And its not as if they mean anything bad by it. They look at me, all caring and maternal to Mistress Fluffington Fluffy Bottom of Archway (my dog has many names, also a few songs), and that triggers a not unreasonable assumption; they have kids (it is, Ive noticed, only ever mothers who ask), so are casting about for another point of connection, and also: society has conditioned us to exactly ask this of every woman older than 30. Have you got kids, have you got kids, have you got kids, have you got kids? As I already said feminism and decades of progress be damned! A womans first duty is still assumed to be procreation; anyone who, like me, has denied it will tell you that, as for those who want to have kids, but cant
Ah yes. Them. The ones struggling with fertility issues, with miscarriage, with the IVF rounds that wont take; those women who do have biological clocks, who want children as surely and desperately as I do not, who are getting to the point where they know they just have to give up, admit defeat, and so grieve, silently and endlessly, for people never born, never even conceived Whats it like for them to exist in a world where others ask, often, casually, about the thing that causes such extraordinary pain, more pain than anything else? If I find that question the kid question a little awkward, a little complicated, if I have to take a breath, moderate my emotional response, make a concerted effort to keep my tone light, to not be a total bitch in response: what on earth is it like for them? What sadness and confusion, what sense of shame, of failure, overwhelms them in response to those words?
Casual, everyday references to assumed children seem like such a mild thing, such a friendly thing, such a nothing, really. I have no doubt theyre intended that way. But given theyre potentially imposing deep pain on another person, reopening a barely-sealed wound, leaving them winded, gasping, incapable of answering you, it might be worth leaving them out of our repertoire of light chat with passing strangers. Denormalise a question as personal and private as wondering how another womans reproductive organs/life choices are shaping up; give her puppy a cuddle, move along.
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Polly Vernon: 'We Need To Stop Grilling Women About Whether They Have Children Or Not' - Grazia
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Celebrating record-breaking legend Betty White on her 100th birthday – Guinness World Records
Posted: at 10:46 am
Beloved actor, comedian, animal advocate, and trailblazer Betty White passed away on 31 December 2021 aged 99.
Today, 17 January 2022, marks what would have been the treasured performer's 100th birthday.
Betty White was no stranger to breaking boundaries and setting records.
In 2013, the TV star earned the Guinness World Records title for longest TV career for an entertainer (female), spanning over 74 years of work in the industry.
Making her TV debut in 1939, just after graduating from high school, Betty went on to portray some cherished characters.
Working in TV, radio, stage and appearing in more than 15 movies, Betty is probably best known for her role as the loveable Rose Nylund in The Golden Girls (NBC, 19851992).
Betty worked primarily on stage and radio in the 1940s, and by the end of the decade had become a regular co-host of Hollywood on Television on KLAC TV. In 1954, she hosted her own daily talk show, The Betty White Show (NBC).
Lovingly referred to as the queen of the small screen, Betty Whites legacy spans much further than her acting career. Betty took a stand for the things and people she believed in.
When Betty was asked to remove Arthur Duncan from the cast of The Betty White Show in the 1950s because of his race, her response did not waver despite the threat of cancellation. She said "I'm sorry, but, you know, he stays".
Betty also pushed back on gender norms and societal pressures by being vocal about her decision to be childfree. "No, Ive never regretted it," she said in an interview with CBSin 2012.
"Im so compulsive about stuff, I know if I had ever gotten pregnant, of course, that would have been my whole focus. I didnt choose to have children because Im focused on my career."
In an interview with Guinness World Records in 2013, when asked if she had any career regrets, Betty calmly replied that she did not.
"I have no regrets at all. None. I consider myself to be the luckiest old broad on two feet."
Known for making the world a better place even after 99 years, for many it feels too soon to say goodbye to the woman who brought so much light and laughter to the world.
Betty left us with countless lessons and advice. When it came to aging, Betty wrote in her book, If You Ask Me (And Of Course You Wont):
"It's not a surprise, we knew it was comingmake the most of it. So you may not be as fast on your feet, and the image in your mirror may be a little disappointing, but if you are still functioning and not in pain, gratitude should be the name of the game."
Cheers to you Betty, thank you for being a friend.
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Celebrating record-breaking legend Betty White on her 100th birthday - Guinness World Records
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For some reason Megalovania played during an audience with the Pope – The Verge
Posted: January 7, 2022 at 4:48 am
Six days into 2022 and weve already had one of the weirdest collisions of gaming culture and the wider world. Yesterday, during Pope Francis weekly general audience in which he said a few prayers, made a few addresses, and casually shamed voluntarily childfree people for preferring the company of their pets to tiny, screaming humans most of us cannot possibly afford, a troupe of jugglers / acrobats / general circus folk performed to a jazzy ska-esque rendition of Megalovania from Toby Foxs Undertale.
Everything about this performance inspires in me a manic chuckle as I try to make sense of the scene unfolding in front of my eyes. The performance starts with an acrobat twirling a foam cylinder with their feet. Then, for some reason, the jugglers start, and then someone wheels by on a unicycle making every element of this performance look like unorganized, mismatched chaos. Something thats oddly fitting when you think about the chaotic terror of the Sans fight. In the Sans battle, just like in this performance, nonsensical shit is coming at you from all sides while a little man in a funny outfit smiles at you serenely as Megalovania plays.
As incredulous as it may sound, this is actually not the first time theres been a Pope / Undertale crossover. In 2016, YouTube gamer MatPat famously gave the Pope a Steam code for Undertale as he thought the game represented the same themes of forgiveness and compassion that the Pope alluded to in a speech he made earlier in the year. Maybe Big Catholic Boss Guy finally got around to playing it and liked the song so much he requested it for his next general audience. Of course, that would mean the Pope would have taken the genocide option which, depending on your view of organized religion, may or may not match up.
Wow, that got dark.
The history of atrocities committed in the name of religion aside, everything about this performance rips. I especially like the wide shot of the stage that includes the Pope in his funny outfit, the performers in their funny outfits, and members of the Swiss Guard with their totally normal technicolor pantaloons and traditional halberd lending that extra dash of is this real or am I tripping balls right now? all while Fazzinis The Resurrection looms in the background looking ready to consume everyone whole.
It is the exact kind of surrealism I think Toby Fox would appreciate.
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For some reason Megalovania played during an audience with the Pope - The Verge
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Ive banned anyone over 70 from my wedding, seeing them is so depressing & I dont want the attention tak… – The US Sun
Posted: at 4:48 am
A BRIDE has sparked a heated debate online after revealing she's banned anyone over 70 from attending her wedding.
The woman took to Reddit's Am I The A*****e forum to explain the situation, adding that she and her fiance both have big families, so are "trying to figure out how to make our guest list work with our budget".
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"Our grandparents are all in their 80s and his grandma has Alzheimers - she forgets who people are, doesn't know where she is a lot of the time, and sometimes she just randomly starts crying or yelling and it's really depressing," she wrote.
"Both my grandparents also have some health issues and demand a lot of care and attention," she continued.
"I really don't want any of this to ruin our big day. I don't want his grandma shouting or making noise during the ceremony or my grandpa needing help and being a big distraction, and I feel like people are going to be paying a lot of attention to them instead of the wedding and the wedding couple."
She added that she and her fiance had therefore decided "we don't want anyone over 70 at the wedding and are making a blanket rule so it's fair to everyone".
"I think they would be bored and more comfortable at home anyway, and it's an opportunity for their caregivers to come out and relax and have fun without worrying about caregiving responsibilities for the evening," she continued.
"My fiance is on board but the rest of my family is upset. Am I the a*****e?"
The majority of comments on the post saw people slam the poster for her rule, with one person writing: "Jesus Christ, you have got to be kidding. You are the worst. You are the a*****e."
"For real. You're the a*****e, original poster," someone else commented. "If my Cousin or sibling was getting married and tried to pull this crap I would 100 per cent skip their wedding and take my grandparents out for dinner or something.
"And Id implore my other family members to do the same."
Another added: "This isn't you caring about their feelings over the look of the thing, this is you caring about the look of the thing over anyone's feelings.
"I'm sure your grandparents will be heartbroken you don't want them there.
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"Being over 70 is not the same as being under 10 - you can't exclude people just because they aren't able to do the cha cha slide.
"You are going to offend and hurt a lot of people."
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And another person wrote: "I lost all my grandparents before I was an adult.
"Honestly, if they could have been at my wedding, it would be more impactful than the actual marriage itself."
"My grandmother is 88 and did tequila shots with me at my wedding. Age is just a number!" someone else added.
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Others were unsure whether or not the bride was in the wrong, with one writing: "Since the logic is very similar to childfree weddings, I'm having a hard time figuring out where the gap in the logic is.
"Like if couples can exclude guests based their age, because people under a certain age will cause disruption, then the same logic would apply to people OVER a certain age, right?"
Speaking of weddings, this person attended an awful one recently where only half of the guests got food.
This bride sparked outrage by trying to charge guests 1,000 to attend her big day.
And this bride's stepmum turned up to the wedding in white, but it was her shoes that had everyone talking.
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