Spy: Predicting the good, the bad and the ugly of 2022 – New Zealand Herald

Spy predicts who will make headlines in the year to come. Photos / File

Spy's crystal and magic 8-balls have had a good shake up, we've looked at the stars, checked the tea leaves, and read some tarot cards to predict who will make headlines in the year to come. Warning: Predicting the future is not an exact science . . . but we do warn readers, several of last year's forecasts came to fruition.

Former State-Owned Enterprises Minister and acting Westpac CEO Simon Power is warmed at how electric the atmosphere is on his first day at TVNZ in March.

Is it because Jupiter has just been moving through Pisces? That staff are still jubilant to be working back in the office, or the fact that making television is a little bit more colourful than the world of banking?

The timing is absolutely perfect for Power and his knowledge of the Beehive, as motions on the Government's next moves to merge TVNZ and RNZ come into full public glare.

The former National Party MP sticks to the centre-ground as much as possible, by increasing the platform of shows for Clarke Gayford that sees him franchise Moving Homes to Moving Baches, Moving Jobs and a viewer favourite Moving Countries. Former Deputy PM Paula Bennett has her platforms increased too, Give Us a Clue is franchised to add Give us a shoe, where Bennett canvasses people's shoe wardrobes and viewers guess whose shoe addictions she is looking at?

An influx of pilot series pitches come in from Power's former colleagues, among the large list of politicians wanting to stay in the public light, Judith Collins pitches CCC Car Catch and Crush and a proposition for herself to front a new revamped Police 10/7 tempts him, but he actions only one from the big pile, but solely to be trialled OnDemand. Former Speaker of the House and the first TV face to become an MP Lockwood Smith, gets the green light to go full circle nearly 40 years on to bring back and front It's Academic.

In April, Australia & NZ general manager Glen Kyne, who congratulated Power within hours of his new role, appoints Richard Prebble to an advisory role in his Auckland office.

Elon Musk will buy up Marsden Point Oil Refinery. His plan is a three-pronged approach for the coastal land, inspired by the weather schedules kept by Rocket Lab at Ahuriri Point.

Musk studies the weather patterns north of the North Island and decides Marsden Point is perfect for his 2022 Southern Hemisphere SpaceX launch complex.

Musk also strikes gold finding the area is rich in hydrocarbons and methane for rocket fuel and conditions are perfect for testing and perfecting byproducts and experiments to make hydrocarbons using CO2 from the air instead.

29 Dec, 2021 02:03 AMQuick Read

The trifecta of usage occurs to Musk, noticing the space nerd tourism written all over it. By next Christmas, Musk announces the launch of his first SpaceX Hotel, architecturally designed in the shape of two rockets with a bridge at the top. Grant Dalton smells the big bucks and the America's Cup regatta has a new home.

Smelling the millions being made by hotels in government-managed isolation, a consortium of NZ billionaires and property developers come together for NZ's biggest construction projects.

The consortium asks Craig Turner if they can have a peek at the plans of his $1.2 billion Sleepyhead Estate housing and manufacturing development at Ohinewai and make offers for huge swathes of land near Huntly.

The consortium CEO is Rob Fyfe and its chairman is Sir John Key, who enlists Max, his son and business partner in MTK Property Development, to project-manage construction.

First builds are eight Sudima Auckland Airport-like hotels, surrounded by two suburbs of secure villa-style chalets for people who want to upgrade.

An airport and heliport are added, as is a local hospital. The little town is such a hit, Sir Michael Hill is asked to design a golf course.

Our most expensive crystal ball sees NZ having its most lavish wedding of all time this year. No! It's not the nuptials of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern and Clarke Gayford at the end of this month at the US billionaire John Griffin's station at Nick's Head at Muriwai, near Gisborne.

Times that expense by at least 10 and predict billionaire Nick Mowbray and Jaimee Lupton may make it official and announce their engagement. The knot will be tied at a surprise wedding at the Toy Mansion in Coatesville in May, the wedding is tasteful and comes in at less than $500,000.

So too does the wedding of rich-lister Marc Francis, even though he and wife Dominique Wisniewski opt for Beluga caviar and Cristal champagne, they keep numbers down, so their guests can come and enjoy a bottomless selection of the very best.

Fellow rich-lister, Viaduct's Justin Wyborn and Kylie Vernon take over the whole Viaduct for their nuptials. It, too, is a tasteful affair and even though the guest list is massive, the wedding is kept to less than $1 million.

It's Mowbray's sister Anna, who announces her engagement to former All Black Ali Williams at her brother's wedding, where the nuptials are the most lavish ever.

It is also at the Toy Mansion, where the groom celebrates his stag by re-enacting the Dotcom raid for its 10th anniversary.

The bride allows his whim, and then things start to bloom and things get elevated for the big day. The bride and groom wear Versace, with a bridal party of 20. Flowers are imported and flown fresh by private jet from Brazil. Animals, borrowed from Auckland Zoo, are brought in to roam. The 1000 guests are blown away even more when at midnight, the couple's first dance is to a live performance by Justin Bieber.

Mark Zuckerberg chooses NZ to test run some of his new virtual labyrinths and picks the country's biggest influencers to take part.

As part of the multi-platform universe, The Bachelor creator and executive producer Mike Fleiss has given licence for all his shows to be conducted virtually, hosted by Art and Matilda Green. The two become the globe's first Meta megastars.

Virtual The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and Bachelor Nation are rolled out globally and the New Zealand vernacular becomes on-trend.

New VR Headsets are part of the trial, ones that are geared up for virtual loving and dates and prevent headaches, eye strain, dizziness and nausea after using the headsets. All is good in the Meta Bach world until real-life people keep choosing artificial human 3D Personas in rose ceremonies.

Zuckerberg doesn't just want fluff, he wants to show that the Metaverse cares and can help people too. He enlists wellness gurus Rachel Hunter and Gemma McCaw who, tempted by the world's first virtual ice bath, agree to host their exclusive wellness retreats in the Metaverse.

Mark Richardson is grinning from ear to ear when The Block producers and property buyers secure sections in Glen Innes for the show's 10th season The Block: Redemption.

It's going to help the local real estate market, especially with the expertise of four fan-favourite couples from previous seasons having a second chance to win says Richardson.

The political tea leaves become clearer when they see Tmaki MP Simon O'Connor's public profile soaring after Richardson asks him to come on his new radio show, and then asks him to guest judge on The Block.

Weeks later the pair meet at Richardson's favourite local St Heliers waterfront cafe for a cup of tea, no less. O'Connor tells Richardson how grateful he has been over the past few months and he is lobbying hard to make sure the former Black Cap has a very high spot on the party list.

Richardson smiles as only a left-hand batsman can.

"No, no, Simon I want you to have a high list position, I like what you do in Wellington, but I think I can do so much more for the good people of Tmaki, which is why I have decided to challenge you at the next selection."

A roll of the dice sees Taika Waititi cast himself in the new Flash Gordon action movie he is writing. The Thor: Love and Thunder director cast himself in Flash as Ming the Merciless. Convinced by his romantic other half, British popstar Rita Ora, Waititi makes the action movie classic half sci-fi - half musical and casts Ora as Ming's daughter Princess Aura. In a jaw-dropping move, Waititi's Thor star Chris Hemsworth is ignored. The actor is the epitome of the 80s Flash Gordon, but Waititi wants to bring the classic tale into the year 2022 and is a big fan of Josh Thomson's work in The New Legends of Monkey as Pigsy and casts him as his galactic warrior from Earth.

Wanting to keep the Kiwi casting strong, not to mention the musical talent, his fourth casting triumph is the role of Flash's love interest, Dale Gordon, which sees Lorde cast. In her first big-screen role, the singer chooses to go by her birth name Ella Yelich-O'Connor as her screen name.

All the people-pleasing Waititi does in Godzone, still leaves one cloud with a dark shadow. A bidding war between Weta Workshop in Wellington and Warner Bros on the Gold Coast is won by the Australians with a last-minute sweetener from Canberra.

A social media platform meeting in the Leader of the Opposition's office had our magic eight ball dancing.

The topic: How to increase Christopher Luxon's cut-through on social media and increase the National Party youth vote.

Jacinda Ardern is sitting at 1.7 million followers and even though Luxon's followers have doubled since his winning the leadership, they are still sitting at under 10,000 so Tik Tok is chosen as the best platform.

A duo with a music star is decided the best move forward for overnight success. Luxon loves country music, so his team ask Taylor Swift to come on board and do a duet with the National Party leader to one of her crossover hits

Swift doesn't get back in time for filming in March. Staff blame it on Lorde for being besties with her in the pop world.

Someone remembers Country star Shania Twain's love of New Zealand, especially South Island sheep stations.

Twain agrees and gets into the country on time for filming and she and Luxon do a sexy duet to her 90s hit, Man I feel like a Woman.

They both cross-dress, just like the original video and their dancing is on Tik Tok point.

Tens of millions of people like the video, Luxon is a Tik Tok megastar, the cut-through is immense and not just in the rural voting community.

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Spy: Predicting the good, the bad and the ugly of 2022 - New Zealand Herald