Austin moms reflect on a 2020 like no other year in parenting, hopes for 2021 – austin360

Nicole Villalpando|Austin 360

2020 was a year that challenged many a parent. In a matter of minutes, kids were home from school, home from college. Older kids sometimes were furloughed or laid off and also moved back in with parents. Grandparentsoften were separated physically from their children and grandchildren.

We discovered how to learn virtually, how to connect virtually, how to air hug from our patios and in our Zoom screens.

2020 was a year of woe as well as whoa. We mournedthe lives lost, but we also slowed down.

We learned the value of family togetherness andpatience with the people we love the most, and how to carve out space in every corner of what feels like a shrinking home.

We also learned the value of getting outside, taking a walk, watching the sunset, pausing for a moment each day to see the beauty that's around us. We found gratitude in many small things.

We asked Austin moms and female thought-leaders what they learned from 2020 and what they hope to bring into 2021.

May your 2021 be filled with gratitude and moments of joy.

Cristina Bocanegra, wardrobe stylist, creator of Mini Market, Love Child online magazine and Current Conference for women:What I've learned: to let go of words like selfless and perfection, especially when it comes to motherhood. I'm neither, and that's OK.

To go with the flow! Two of my three businesses rely on in-person events (not great for aglobal pandemic) ... or so I thought.When we switched to a virtual format for both Current Conference and Mini Market, I was so surprisedby the positive response and support from our attendees.

I learned how to be a more present mother, wife and friend by simply disconnecting. Removing apps on my phone that otherwise distract me from growing those relationshipsis a new weekly practice of mine.

I learned just how important it is to support small businesses.I committed to shopping small and local back in March and have loved getting to know the people and their stories behind the businesses.

My hopes for 2021: to carry the gratitude I feel right now, at the end of the wildest and hardest year, into the next one.

Nakeenya Wilson, executive director of Black Mamas ATX:I have learned that We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. (Proverbs 16:19). A lot of people set New Year's resolutions, professional goals and travel plans,but we had to abandon our plansfor COVID-19. We are not in control;God is.

My hope for 2021 is that collectively we have learned to be more compassionate, givingand mindful based on all of the lessons learned in 2020.

Bethany Hegedus, children's books author and founder of the Writing Barn:2020 schooled me as a mom. It taught me messes are OK, that adventure lies in our own backyards, and talking to a 5-year-old about systemic racism is scary, but what is scarier is if we as parents don't address the hard stuff inside and outside our homes and that we are NOT meant to do this alone. Or perfectly. Ever.

My mama hopes for 2021 are simple: more hand-holding, an abundance of hugs outside our home circle, and high-fives to those of us who learned that surviving is sometimes what thriving really looks like.

Simone Talma Flowers, executive director of Interfaith Action of Central Texas:Even though 2020 stretched many of us to the limits, with loss, grief, loneliness, isolationand uncertainty, we learned that we did not break we bent, contorted, adjusted, learned new ways of being, and did what was necessary to keep ourselves, loved ones and our community safe.

I look forward to learning how we can be more flexible with each other in building a stronger and safer community.

Allison Chase, regional clinical director of Pathlight Mood & Anxiety Center and Eating Recovery Center:While 2020 has been beyond challenging in both our personal and professional worlds, it is those silver linings that we cannot lose sight of. 2020 has forced us to slow down and appreciate the things we so often took for granted like our health and our family connections.

It is my hope that as we move into 2021 and this pandemic gets under control and lifes activities pick up again, we can take the time to slow down for a moment and remember who we are and what is important to each of us.

Gerry Tucker, author of "Bedside Chat: A Book of Meditation and Inspiration":This past year taught me the importance of personal time alone and self-care. As a mother and employee, I rarely spent time alone or time attending to my physical, mental and spiritual health. However, I have learned the importance of exercise, meditation, massagesand journaling.

During this year I experienced stress and anxiety, and self-care was the only relief. I learned to first take care of me, and I can thentake care of everything and everyone else.

I am hoping for a spiritual evolution in 2021. It will be a time of metamorphosis when communities and society will change into the humanistic, generous, law-abiding, tranquiland blessed nation that our forefathers envisioned.

This requires that each of us be loving, respectful of others, supportive and tolerant of others. I am also hoping for a government of and for the people for all individuals.

Andra Liemandt, founder and CEO of the Kindness Campaign:Connection has to be intentional, and five words can make all the difference. How can I support you?

For 2021, I hope we can use the rawness of this past year to go deeper with our relationships. And heres the thing: We have the perfect opportunity to do so. A lot got stripped away in 2020, leaving us with bare truths, painand exposed cracks cracks that were there all along, in our larger society and in our interpersonal relationships. Now, I truly feel we can lean into those truthsand be radically honest about what we all need to thrive.

I do believe 2021 will be a year of healing; 2020 set us up for that. In this new year, we can cultivate relationships and systems that nourish us. We can be more honest, more precise in the ways we give. The outcome will be more authentic connections, which are hard-won and oh-so-precious, because we had to get super vulnerable to achieve them.

Renee Peterson Trudeau, author of "Nurturing the Soul of Your Family": What I learned:I am stronger and more resilient than I realized.Just when another piece of devastating news would arrive in my inbox (my senior in high school will not have a graduation ceremony, all my 2020 self-renewal retreats have been canceled, etc.), I would pause, find inner strength, reach out to my backbone friendsand discover a reframe for what I was experiencing.

Sometimes this looked like a creative hack (offering a retreat online) or a redirect (my sons piano teacher rocked it online), and often it meant having the courage to release expectations and just let go.

Resiliency is a choice, its a perspective, its a skill you can cultivate, and its about choosing to be bigger than the issue that is causing you stress. In our house, we constantly reminded ourselves, Go easy on yourself; were in the midst of a global pandemic.

Gifts from 2020 include clarity. This time has been illuminating for me around life purpose/work, relationships, where/how I want to live and how I want to BE in the world.Ive also cultivated a deeper, wider gratitude practice (the fastest way to feel better fast), have gotten clearer around which friendships nourish me and how to cultivate these. Through my work with women/moms across the U.S., I heard a resounding theme: We want to simplify. Were less interested in shopping and stuff and more interested in creating a life that is centered on our values for ourselves and for our children.

My greatest hope for 2021 is that people will stay awake and actively keep working for change.I think were just starting to get traction and have much work to do especially around social/racial injustices and climate change work. I really hope we can all stay engaged, alive, aware and keep asking, How can I keep these issues at the forefront and what is uniquely mine to do in 2021?

Allison Schickel, founder of the Brobe post-surgical clothing:Take it a day at a time. Trying to juggle it all is impossible and WILL eventually catch up with you. 2020 has taught me to TRY and slow down a bit. Three kids at home, virtual learning, a first-responder husband, and me keeping my business afloatforced me to go with the punches and made me realize that I didnt have to DO IT ALL.

The world was not going to collapse because the dishes didn't get done or the laundry didn't get folded. With all the horrible things that 2020 brought, I feel it also brought unexpected friendships with neighbors, long walks with family just talking, and actually getting a nap in every once in a while.

My hope for 2021 is that we continue to not move at 1,000 miles per hour and can still enjoy those family walks, Saturday night game night with the kids, the fun cul-de-sac happy hours with neighbors, and for me personally, to focus more on my own health and taking time for ME everysingle day.

Reenie Collins, chief executive director of Health Alliance for Austin Musicians:As a mother with grown children, 2020 has made me realize just how important home is for all of us. I have realized that home is much more than a physical space. As mothers, we help create home by the traditions and simple daily things we do to keep our family togethereven if we are apart.

Holly Christine Hayes, founder of Sanctuary Project jewelry line made by survivors of sex trafficking:In the rush and busyness of life as we knew it, moments of motherhood drifted by without much thought. The entrance of 2020 forced a slowness we never knew we needed. We took time to be with our loved ones and treasure the quiet and the mundane reading books, cooking together, staying home. I pray we carry this intentionality and slowness into 2021 and all the years to come!

Elaine Garza, principal of Giant Noise, public relations firm:I just asked my husband what I havelearnedand he said, "That your husband is awesome." Of course, that made me laugh, but it also solidified my theory that attitude really makes a huge differencein not just my environment but the environment of those around me.

I live with my husband and two teenage girls,and I think we could have all had a miserable year had we let ourselves get caught up in all the sadness and fear in the/our world.

If I feel down or worried, I stop and think about all that we do have and all that I am grateful for, and it truly changes my state of mind. That might sound corny, but it's true for me.

For 2021, I hope for an end toCOVID-19, I hope kids can get back to school safely, that teachers can feel safe at work, that our incredible health care workers can rest and get the recognition they so deserve, and that our beloved restaurants, hotels and live music venues can prosper.

Judy Knotts, author of "You are My Brother: Lessons Learned Embracing a Homeless Community":Being elderly and living alone, I discovered I missed hugs. So I had to improvise. In this socially distancing environment, I would frequently touch my fingers to my mask and toss an imaginary kiss in the air that sometimes was caught. And when sending emails to my faraway family and friends, I learned to say what was truly in my heart "I love you."

What is my wish for 2021? That we would ignore all labels of race, skin color, ethnicity, gender, religion, political persuasion, sexual preference, economic status, employment rank, citizenship standingand education level, and imagine instead that each person we meet is a pilgrim, just like us, taking up space on our planet Earth.

Kathy Terry, founder of inLieu charitable giving app and co-founder of P. Terry's Burger Stands:I think for me, 2020 has been the year that has confirmed my belief that we are all in this together.I want my kids to learn to see the world through the eyes of others: A world where we can all be successful. Where everyone has access to basic needs, love, compassion and happiness.

In order to do this, we have to open our eyes andour hearts and get out of our bubbles to witness all the amazing people right next to us.In the end, we all just want to be seen and to be heard we want to know we matter and have value.

My hope for 2021 is that we move away from the me world we have created and build a we world.

Barbara Frandsen, author of "Dignity in Death": Love and forgive yourself so you will be able to keep loving your children.

When you need to cry, do so. If you slip into dark humor, go with it (but maybe privately).Laugh at your own jokes, even if they are terrible.

Even the greatest moms need to rely on a spiritual power beyond themselves.

Your children are not you. They are the arrows that will live in a future you cannot even imagine.

Allow children to develop their own courage and grit.They will need it to take care of you later.

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Austin moms reflect on a 2020 like no other year in parenting, hopes for 2021 - austin360