Kanye West and Taylor Swift preview the 2012-13 NBA Season

WATCH THE THRONE TURN RED.

Kanye West was coming off dropping his weirdest album of all time (808s and Heartbreak), and stealing the microphone from Taylor Swift at the VMAs when he performed for a spot on VH1's Storytellers show. What emerged was a nine-track album I must have downloaded by mistake a few years ago, only to find out it's the most amazing thing ever. Because you know what's even better than a regular Kanye West album? A Kanye West album where somebody told him he needs to tell stories for five minutes after every song. Sadly, VH1 had to edit out the segments where he raged against Radiohead and supported Chris Brown, but they still left in all kinds of rambling that will live forever. It's Yeezy at his Yeeziest.

Taylor Swift released her fourth album, Red, last week, and it's as supernaturally addictive as you'd expect. It's also a step beyond the Disney Channel jams she'd been leaning on for a while there, which makes it much easier to get addicted without feeling guilty. So yeah, now that she's back to making music for adults, it's only a matter of time before Taylor Swift takes over the world. And for the record: If you're too cool for T-Swizzy, that's a perfectly rational and acceptable response to someone who's written 200 songs about the same 3.5 relationships, but please understand you're missing out on the SONGSTRESS OF A GENERATION.

So there's the context for what's happening here. Two of the biggest stars on the planet, both ridiculous human beings forever linked by that ridiculous VMAs controversy, and neither one's going anywhere soon. There are now just two questions left:

Give it five years or so, when they will run into each other at an illuminati meeting, bury the VMAs hatchet, and decide the streets need a record with SwIzzy and Yeezy.

We have no acceptable answer here, but there's never a bad time to remember Kanye West's most insane album of all time, and Taylor Swift has been stuck in everyone's head for ten days and counting. So, why not preview the 2012-13 season with both? First with Taylor Swift quotes, and then with Kanye's rambling from the VH1 special. HERE WE GO.

It feels like a perfect night to dress up like hipsters And make fun of our exes

To Dwight Howard and Steve Nash. For obvious reasons.

They say you bought a bunch of land somewhere, Chose the Rose Garden over Madison Square, And it took some time, but I understand it now.

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Kanye West and Taylor Swift preview the 2012-13 NBA Season