CLEVELAND, Ohio -- Kevin Stefanski cannot catch a Week 1 break.
Last year the NFL awarded the first-time head coach a debut vs. then-reigning MVP Lamar Jackson, fresh off a 14-2 season. A year later, Stefanski and the Browns open against Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs, who also only lost twice in 2020.
It gets worse. But before we continue, heed my warning.
This piece centers around historical data. If that frustrates you because of prior trauma, I understand. I cannot read of Vikings woes around the kicking game. But I promise, this unfavorable intel has nothing to do with Cleveland, Stefanski or the Browns.
From here on, Im writing about the Chiefs. Specifically, how wicked deadly Andy Reid is on Week 1.
Lets get to the numbers.
Andy Reid wins a lot of openers and does so explosively
Kevin Stefanski, left, talks with Andy Reid after last January's playoff game in Kansas City. AP
In 2013 when Reid arrived in Kansas City, he made a swift, franchise-steadying move: trading for Alex Smith. Immediately Kansas City won, beating the Jaguars 28-2 in Jacksonville to start the Reid era.
As a head coach, Reid has seen 23 openers. His record is 15-8. He left the Eagles following 2012. His Week 1 record with the Eagles was 7-7. Since joining the Chiefs, Reid dominates openers. Home or away, doesnt matter. Reid is 7-1 with a six-game winning streak filled with Mahomes highlights and high scores.
Speaking of Mahomes, he doesnt miss in September. On Thursday, Colin Cowherd showed a graphic detailing the Michael Jordan of footballs (its true) stats during the first month of the season. He averages 330 passing yards, holds an undefeated 10-0 mark and has thrown 32 touchdowns without an interception.
Read that again.
Back to Reid. With the Chiefs, his offenses average 380 yards per game. In seven games with the Eagles, they averaged 424 yards. I dont have exact numbers for this (because I am simply one man) but Im confident Alex Smith is responsible for that slight yardage dip.
Mahomes, Mike Vick and Donovan McNabb are Reids Mount Rushmore. The fourth spot features Travis Kelce rockin the freshest fade.
Good offenses gain yards. Historically respected ones score touchdowns. The Chiefs average 31.5 points per game in openers under Reid. Opponents must remain aggressive versus Kansas City. So much so that punting should be considered surrendering at least three points.
Its more likely Tim Tebow catches an NFL regular-season pass than a Mahomes-led offense rushing for more than it throws. But Reid has dominated on the ground in three opening victories, all with Philly. In 2011, the Eagles and LeSean McCoy hung 236 yards on the Rams. A 2009 win at Carolina accumulated 186. In 2000 playing at Cowboys Stadium, Duce Staley ran for 201 of Philadelphias 306 yards.
About 20 years later, Cleveland would rush for 307 yards at Dallas.
Perhaps the Chiefs learned a costly Super Bowl LV lesson and will display a greater commitment to running. Unlikely, but well find out in 17 weeks at Kansas City, where Reid hasnt lost in Week 1 since 2014. Alex Smith completed 19 passes for 202 yards, was intercepted three times and sacked four more.
If Mahomes plays anything like that on Sept. 12 then crown this new-look Browns defense. However, history suggests Stefanski must plan to score 30-plus.
The 2020 coach of the year wont admit hed appreciate an easier Week 1 opponent next season but Im sure he would. Hey Jimmy Haslam, call dibs on Detroit.
Tell Roger Goddell Cleveland earned it for hosting the most rockin draft ever.
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