Milias: The ship of fools, SS Aspen – The Aspen Times

Royal Caribbeans Wonder of the Seas, the worlds largest cruise ship at 1,188 feet, has a maximum capacity of 6,988 guests and 2,300 crew members. The mega-ship has 18 decks and offers eight distinct neighborhoods, including a central park with 20,000 plants and trees. Aboard the ship are 40 restaurants and bars offering diverse fare from homespun southern classics to rustic Italian favorites.

In addition to the tallest water slide at sea, guests can enjoy a childrens playground, 1,400-seat theater, a full-sized basketball court, ice skating rink, surf simulator and zip line 10 decks high.

The ships advanced wastewater purification system treats 570,000 gallons per day, complemented by a reverse osmosis desalination plant, glass crushers, a cardboard baller, aluminum can compactor and food waste pulper.

This reads like a travel brochure, but it also sounds a lot like the SS Aspen.

Docked at the eastern end of the Pitkin County pier, our mega-ship is home to 7,700 permanent passengers who have chosen a unique albeit expensive lifestyle of adventure, eschewing life on terra firma to live where others only aspire to visit.

This number is deceptive, however, because it does not reflect the ships capacity, which is far greater yet mysteriously unspecified; 7,700 represents the full-time passengers (who reside on the various decks) and includes an unknown number of crew members, who earn wages and receive room and board in exchange for working hospitality and service jobs aboard the ship.

Further conflating the 7,700 number is a distinct class of aspirational passengers who have figured out how to work while onboard when not cavorting with the other passengers who are heavily taxed to provide them cabins on a subsidized basis.

Their work is legitimate; theyre not on vacation on this pricey ship. But although they appear busy and generate income to cover their onboard expenses, many are in no way essential to the ships operations. Theyre neither sweating in the engine room nor working the line in the kitchen. Unlike the crew, theyre regularly found poolside and in the casino in their off hours. Theyre along for the ride at a deep discount, the unintended consequence of decisions made in a bygone era.

In this post-pandemic period of rough seas, however, the SS Aspens fragile onboard dynamic has shifted and a malaise is growing, threatening the delicate balance between the ships physical capacity, its ability to charge its paying passengers unprecedented prices for attractive onboard offerings and amenities, and the ships crews ability to deliver them.

The ships officers say its because theyre understaffed and cant hire sufficient crew, attributing this to a shortage of crew cabins and speculating that these are being converted and sold to paying passengers and perhaps even allocated to the aspirational folks who covet the good life onboard.

Paying passengers, permanent and visiting alike, are boarding in record numbers, paying a tidy sum to do so, and are more demanding than ever. Every deck is full, even on the most expensive upper deck, which is now the first to fill. No surprise, word is out and the wait is long for aspirational passengers who look on from shore and clamor to come aboard for a life of smooth sailing.

The aspiring passengers already aboard are the lucky ones, blending in seamlessly with the others and demanding the same high-end benefits and services: fluffy towels, frozen daquiris, Broadway shows and bottomless champagne, and further contributing to the overwhelming pressure on the already understaffed and overworked crew, among which morale is at an all-time low.

Before the SS Aspen hits the figurative iceberg, its time to turn this thing on a dime.

Sadly, it falls to the ships officers, former crew members and aspirational passengers themselves to save the ship. Their judgment is often clouded by the fact theyve never worked anywhere else and are most troubled by making decisions that might hurt the feelings of non-essential passengers.

Its clearly time for new, more professional leadership. With political will and some tough choices, the ship can still right itself.

Welcome aboard.

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Milias: The ship of fools, SS Aspen - The Aspen Times