FAMILY AND MARRIAGE: Where are you in the tree? – Aiken Standard

You can't build marriage on a foundation of selfish hedonism, because that would be to promise people only roses, and marriage is also thorns. Alan Keyes

the tree of life [was] also in the midst of the garden, Bible

All of us live and make our decisions according to some rationale. Perhaps its arbitrary and capricious, changing day by day. Or maybe we have a stronger set of standards that we have developed and utilize because they seem to work for us. At the extreme, we may accept and adhere to a more rigid set of rules established by a higher authority, which may include consequences for both good and bad behavior.

Our life-behavior is like a tree. This tree has three basic components: the fruit and leaf-bearing branches, the trunk, and the roots.

The branches (fruits, leaves) are what we enjoy in life. They may be all those blessings God gives us (whether or not we know God), such as health, success, happiness, etc. They may be the fruits of our own labors. They may be our family and friends. They are frequently the consequence of obeying the rules of society, adhering to common-sense rules and life styles, or following the Bible.

These branches are subject to the storms of life, however. We remember the ice storm of a few years ago. I lost lot of branches out of my trees. And then there was the late freeze this spring. The peach crop is not nearly as plentiful this year.

The trunk is also exposed to the tempests and vagaries of life. But its a lot sturdier. I didnt lose any tree trunks during the ice storm, and the peach trees will live to see another year.

The root is the foundation of the tree. The branches may be gone, and the trunk may be destroyed, but the roots are HARD to permanently remove if they are firmly entrenched in the soil. I tried to destroy an undesirable tree by cutting the trunk off at the base, but the next year I see little tree sprouts coming up from the base of the tree its not dead!

Our lives are a lot like the tree. If our life choices are based on our own definition of whats OK, we may get along for a while, but the storms will come. If we live in the branches we will get blown away. Divorce, abuse, and untold distress come from the storms because our way doesnt work it has no authority, no basis.

Now if we live in the trunk we have a lot better chance for surviving the storms. Society provides us with significant help if we are willing to seek it. Doctors are there to help with physical healing. Therapists are available to deal with emotional turmoil. We may have decided to follow some set of rules that seems good to us.

Our best chance for survival, however, (let me assert the only chance) is to live in the root. We have an established foundation that isnt affected by the surface storms of life. That foundation must be something that doesnt change. It isnt based on our opinion. It comes from a much higher authority. For example, it doesnt come from knowing whats in the Bible (or some arbitrary rule book). It comes from knowing the authority behind the rule book. The Bible is the only rule book with the authority that we need, that being the Word Jesus Christ.

If you are living your marriage in the branches, look out. The storms will come and the branches will fall and so will you.

If you are living in the trunk, you will benefit from much of the help available in the world, and may survive for a while. But a forest fire will destroy the trunks as well as the branches.

Choose to live your marriage in the root and make it the Bible. It doesnt change, and the storms dont affect it. In fact it becomes stronger, and so do you.

Roger Rollins is the executive director of The Family and Marriage Coalition of Aiken, Inc. Contact him at 803-640-4689, rogerrollins@aikenfamco.com or http://www.aikenfamco.com.

Go here to see the original:

FAMILY AND MARRIAGE: Where are you in the tree? - Aiken Standard