10 warning signs that they only want to date you for cuffing season – Metro

Are you going to get dumped the moment spring arrives? (Picture: Getty)

Its officially cuffing season a magical time when the drop in temperatures and coupley Christmas events (were looking at you, Winter Wonderland) makes people want to get into relationships, sharpish.

The mad dash to not be single for the colder months can make dating a bit of a minefield.

Some people will, genuinely, only want to be with you until spring arrives, while others will settle for people entirely wrong for them due to cuffing-goggles.

Its key to be on the lookout for these cuffing-induced couplings, so you know exactly what youre getting yourself into.

But how can you spot when someone only wants you for the sake of cuffing season, and will likely crush your heart as things start to heat up again?

Relationships expert Neil Wilkie breaks down 10 warning signs

Living in the moment is a wonderful thing, but if you want something long-term, a partners reluctance to talk about anything months away will start to grate.

There will come a time when hedonism will fade and reality will intrude, Neil tells Metro.co.uk. You will want to know about the future and have some plans.

Be clear about the future that you want and discuss with your partner what they want. If they dont want to talk about it or just say I dont know, that is a clear sign that theyre there for the short term and not aligned with you.

The sex may be good but in a relationship its important we have something else to talk about, says Neil. If all you talk about is stuff rather than feelings that is a clear sign that they are just a winter visitor en route to the sun.

Talk about your feelings and see if they engage. See if you feel listened to and important.

Take a moment to think about how well you actually know this person. Do you know their hopes and dreams? Their parents names? Whether they prefer cats over dogs?

Someone who isnt really committed wont bother to tell you much about themselves, their pasts, or their future.

Neil recommends: Ask questions to try to find more about them. If all you get is evasion or an unwillingness to answer, then maybe they just want to be a two-dimensional visitor to your life.

Wait, are they stashing you?

Neil says that a big warning sign is when the two of you are snuggled up in your warm nest and they dont want you to meet important people in their life.

He adds: This may tell you that they are embarrassed and do not want to explain to their family or friends that it is just a passing fling.

Ouch.

Maybe it just feels rather transient and that you are two people living in parallel in one place, says Neil.

They are making a little effort to connect with you, and you are feeling taken advantage of.

Try and connect physically with long hugs, emotionally with laughter and tears and psychologically with deep conversations. If this fails, then be ready to wave them off.

Are you just seeing each other, with no sign of a chat about going exclusive or whisper it getting into an actual relationship?

Thats a sign this might just be a cuffing season fling.

Neil asks: Does it feel like a Chinese takeaway? As soon as you finish eating you feel hungry again.

You may laugh and have fun but that passes quickly, there is no depth to it.

Fun is hugely important to a relationship, but it needs to be in the context of all the other elements being right.

Enjoy it while you can knowing that it all may end before you want it to.

Every day may feel like Groundhog Day, explains Neil. You are stuck, they are stuck, and the relationship is not growing.

You need to have a plan for what you want in the future and how the relationship will grow.

If they dont want to engage with this, that gives you a very clear message that it has to end.

Trust is a pretty important thing in a relationship, so if its not there, alarm bells should be ringing.

You dont know where they are what theyre doing or who theyre communicating with, Neil says. You cannot predict how they will respond. You do not feel that they have your back.

This may be okay for one night stand, but can you sustain it for several months?

Love is not mentioned, or if it is there is no depth or authenticity to it, says Neil.

If you love them tell them and see how they respond. If they change the subject or mutter platitudes, that is a clear sign theyre only involved for cuffing season.

The key for dealing with these concerns is clear communication.

Talk to your partner and see if this helps give you clarity, suggests Neil. If not, ask them straight whether they just want to be free to go when the spring comes.

These answers will help you decide whether to say goodbye or stay in the nest together.

Stay warm, value yourself and find the person you want and deserve.

Neil Wilkie is a relationship expert, psychotherapist, author of the Relationship Paradigm Series of Books and creator of online couples therapy programme,The Relationship Paradigm.

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10 warning signs that they only want to date you for cuffing season - Metro