Speaker teaches kids how to cope with bullying – Joplin Globe

CARTHAGE, Mo. As for most kids, middle school was tough for Chris Scheufele.

Scheufele says he was a tall, gangling kid, growing up in the mean schools of Baltimore, Maryland, and he dealt with bullies.

Unlike many of his peers, Scheufele figured out a way to cope with those bullies. Now he travels the country teaching students how to deal with bullies with a program of comedy and personal interaction.

Scheufele, known by his nickname, Shoof, is a motivational speaker from Omaha, Nebraska, with his program on bullying called Chris in the Classroom.

He was also a music teacher for 10 years in all grades from kindergarten to high school.

Scheufele was in Carthage on Thursday and Friday speaking to students at Carthage Junior High, the Carthage Intermediate Center and three of the elementary schools about how to deal with bullies and how to talk about bullying.

For so long, the traditional ways of dealing with bullying weve all been taught walk away, ignore it, tell an adult, or grandpas old advice, take it outside, settle it that way, Scheufele said. When I was teaching, kids would come to me and say, 'Its not working. If I walk away, they just follow me. If I ignore it ...' well you cant solve a problem that you ignore. If you fight back, you get in more trouble because you started the fight. If you tell an adult, the adult gets the other kid in trouble but that doesnt really solve the conflict.

His program got a passing grade from Carthage High School senior Emma Nicholas, who saw Scheufeles talk to Carthage Junior High seventh graders on Thursday while volunteering at the junior high.

It was honestly one of the better bullying assemblies Ive been to because there was more interaction with people than just a lecture about bullying, Nicholas said. I feel like there was a lot more student interaction because it was fun, and he made it fun and there were more activities to do. Yeah, bullying is something you see every day, everywhere, no matter where you go. You see it at work, you see it at school, some kids even see it at home.

Victim-proofing kids

Scheufele said his program works to teach kids how to cope with someone who is bullying them by controlling their reactions dont get upset at the bully because thats what the bully wants and by treating the bully with respect and civility.

If theyre picking on you, theyre doing it because they like seeing your reaction, Scheufele said. Once I realized that as a kid, I realized, 'OK, Im the one who can control my reaction.' Doing some digging in the psychology and sociology world now, thats backed up in the science.

"And the thing that really wins it and cinches it, is to use the golden rule. And I know weve all heard: Treat others the way you want to be treated. But thats not just for the mean people to hear. When you respond with at least respect and civility in the face of all that junk that a bully is throwing at you, it works. It freezes them. I do a little game with the kids where I show them it shuts them down. Once I figured that out, things got a lot better.

Dont call it bullying

Another problem with the effort to fight bullying is that word: bully.

Scheufele said the legal criteria for bullying used by most states and school districts is an act that is repeated over time, shows an imbalance of power and with an intent to cause harm.

Scheufele said in real life, the word has become shorthand for any case of someone being mean to someone else.

My newest book is called the Big Bad B Word, and the premise of it is the word 'bully' has gotten so out of hand as any counselor, any administrator will tell you, Scheufele said. I was in an elementary school where a second grader complained that he was being bullied, and I was standing right there. The counselor asked, 'Well what happened?' He said a fifth grader stuck his tongue out at me. It was like, 'OK, this is getting out of hand.' I was at another elementary school where the teacher told her kids bullying is anything from a mean look to the Holocaust.

He said people who think they are victims of bullying need to stop using the word and start describing exactly what happened to them.

I encourage schools, quit using it, Scheufele said. I dont care if it fits in those three criteria, get rid of the word because its not helpful. What is helpful describe the exact behavior. If theyre calling you names, say, 'Theyre calling you names.' If they push you, say, 'They pushed me.' Im not talking about things like assault. Thats obviously different. But if its things like pushing and shoving, rumors, name-calling, call it what it is because then the counselor or administrator can help you solve that.

Administration reaction

Carthage Junior High Principal Jenny Bogle said Scheufele was correct about how the word bully is being used nowadays.

Bullying is a repeated pattern of behavior where someone is repeatedly not nice to someone else or is targeting someone else, Bogle said. Thats not always whats happening when someone uses the word bullying. Its great advice from him to describe the behavior. This message is supporting what our counselors and our teachers work with our kids on. Its the same message coming from a different voice.

Carthage Intermediate Center counselor Travis Bolin said he saw Scheufele speak at the Sarcoxie School District a few weeks ago and suggested to the Carthage school counselors that they bring him here.

Hes very funny, Bolin said. When we talk about bullying or confrontation or social skills is very dry. They zone out,and even though they know me, if I talk about it, they might not get as much out of it as if Chris talks about it. Hes someone different coming in. They think hes an expert he knows more. I think Chris is very presentable, he does this four days a week or so. Hes very good at it, and I think our boys and girls enjoyed it.

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Speaker teaches kids how to cope with bullying - Joplin Globe