My babyfather is addicted to gambling | Tell Me Pastor – Jamaica Star Online

Dear Pastor,

I am 26 and I am in a relationship with a guy my age. I got pregnant for him in 2012 and had the child in 2013. During my pregnancy, I didn't see this man at all.

Eventually, he called me and told me that he wanted us to get back together. We started living together, praying every morning and doing our devotion. Three years later, I got pregnant again. I encouraged him to get a better job. He got a job as a security officer.

In 2019, I told him that I wanted to get a job like his because he needed help to pay the bills. When I went to do the security test, they were closed. I saw a security officer and he asked me to give him any information because many girls have applied. I called my boyfriend and I told him what was going on. But after I left the place, I told him that I wasn't feeling well. The security officer told me to form a group with all who were interested. I showed my partner the group that I made and he started to curse. He started to beat me up badly. I couldn't take it any more so I told him to leave. He went back home to his family. They told him not to give me any money. He refused to buy the things the children needed.

Pastor, I was not a foolish girl. I used to save a little money. So after that, I tried to support myself. He decided to take the children because he bought a car and started to hype on me. I got the security job, and I also got a job in the army. Because of COVID, I had to stop that job, but I continued working as a security officer. This man would not give me any money for the children.

One day, I took him to the Family Court. He threatened me because of that. A lady at the Family Court was too easy on him, so I didn't go any further with it. One day, my mother asked me to help him out because he is the children's father. Every time she called me, it was about him. She cursed me over him and called the police and told them that she needed me out of her house. When the police came and I told them what was going on, they told her to stay out of it.

My grandmother sat me down and talked to me about him. She said I should remember 'What nuh dead, nuh dash it weh', so I decided to take him back. But he was in a lot of debt. I eventually paid off all of his debts. But I observed that he was gambling. Every time he received his pay, he gambled it all. He didn't have any money for the bills.

I had a little money to pay some of the workmen who were building an additional room. He has nothing. I can't be in a relationship with this man anymore.

T.S.

Dear T.S.,

You made a mistake by going back to this man. His behaviour should have told you that there is no future with him and that you should try to support yourself and your children without living with him. I understand that your grandmother meant well, and it was her desire that both of you should be together, especially because you have children. But this is not the kind of man you should have as a husband or as a lover. He has also become a gambler.

I am not condemning anybody who wants to gamble, but you can't gamble yourself out of debt. You can see that for yourself. He gets his salary and his gambling habits take away everything. He is a very silly man. I know you have two children, but you have to find a way to move on without this man. If both of you are building that house on the property that belongs to your parents, do not allow that to make you keep him as your man. Discuss it with your grandmother.

I will also suggest that you do two other things. One, go to see an attorney and discuss this matter, and he or she will give you advice. Two, stop paying this man's debts. Put the money on your children.

Pastor

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My babyfather is addicted to gambling | Tell Me Pastor - Jamaica Star Online