They don't want to see us.
Thinkstock
Hey, Daddy! is a monthly column exploring the joys and struggles of parenting from a gay fathers perspective. Got a topic idea or question for Daddy? Send your letteralong to johnculhane@comcast.net.
Discrimination threatens LGBTQ visibility by encouraging subterfuge. I know from experience.
When David and I were foster parenting our daughters, I was in court for a remarkable exchange. Even though the status hearing to discuss the birth mothers progress wasnt supposed to be about usexcept to make sure the girls were in an appropriate placethe attorney for the birth mother went down an unexpected path. He asked the city worker for the names of the foster parents. Taken aback, she provided them, and the attorney then repeated them, loudly, for the benefit of the court: John and David, Your Honor.
This revelation put the judge on high alert. In his chambers before the next hearing, he expressed concern that the girls were with two men. (One of the attorneys ratted him out to me, a courageous act for which I will be forever grateful.) The judges concern had real consequences. He entertained a ridiculous suggestion that would have torn the girls away from us after a year, and prolonged the termination of parental rights process for about a year beyond what the law and the evidence called for. (Only after that step was completed were we able to adopt our children.)
It would have been worse had the law not been on our side. Philadelphias antidiscrimination law protects the LGBTQ community, so I was able to work behind the scenes to move the case to a just resolution. Without that law, there would have been no effective way to get the judge to do the right thing. Since we couldnt marry at that time in Pennsylvania in any case, without the laws protection we probably would have been advised to hide our relationship, and for one of us to have entered the foster/adopt rolls as a single parent.
J. BRYAN LOWDER
The AIDS Crisis Robbed Queers of Lives and Culture. A New Video Project Aims to Give It All Back.
CHRISTINA CAUTERUCCI
Can Gender Non-Binary Folks See Themselves in Emoji?
JOHN CULHANE
The Real Goal of Religious Freedom Laws? Making Queer People Go Back Into the Closet.
MIKE MIKSCHE
In an Era of Closing Leather Bars and Harness-Wearing Poseurs, Where Are the Real Leather Men?
HARI ZIYAD
Mainstream LGBTQ Activism Is Built on Visibility. But What if Thats Inherently Anti-Black?
Although Philadelphia has a law that outlaws discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity (SOGI), Pennsylvania offers no similar protection. People can be fired for coming out at work and denied basic goods and services available to the general public. Thats also true in about half the states, even as of this writing. And this lack of protection has real-world consequences. When I lived in Dallas for a few months, I was shocked by the tiny pool that the LGBTQ swim team occupied. I was even more aghast when I learned that the team had been turned away from a much more suitable location expressly because it was gay-identified. Many of the gay men I met there were closetedwhich is exactly the result youd expect when people know they can be treated so crappily when they come out.
These experiences were very much on my mind as I read Debating Religious Liberty and Discrimination, the new book pitting John Corvino against Ryan Anderson and Sherif Girgis. Corvino, a philosophy professor, has long been one of the leading public intellectuals arguing for a progressive, but not radical, LGBTQ rights regime. Anderson and Girgis are best known for writing, with Robert George, What is Marriage?, a book that presents a natural law argument for defining and limiting marriage to the union of one man and one woman. (Echoes of their argument about the natural complementarity of mothers and fathers can be found in Justice Alitos dissent in Obergefell v. Hodges, the 2015 Supreme Court marriage-equality decision.)
As the title suggests, Debating Religious Liberty and Discrimination is a chapter-by-chapter volley between the combatants. They argue over the wisdom of religious freedom restoration acts, which excuse non-compliance with various laws. Among those laws, of course, are SOGI antidiscrimination statutes. In an unexpected twist, Corvino is forced to spend much of his time and space making what should be the easy case for such laws, because Anderson and Girgis think they arent needed in the first place. For them, religious exemptions need not even arise in the case of anti-LGBTQ discrimination, because such discrimination should be perfectly legal.
Their argument, in a twisted nutshell, is that the strongest grounds for enacting SOGI lawsdenials of housing, or employment, or medical careare mercifully rare to vanishing. So are denials in public accommodations. Tell that to any trans-person caught up by laws mandating that they use restrooms inconsistent with their gender identity. (They also suffer extensive discrimination in other public accommodations.) More centrally, as Corvino points out, there is a substantial literature demonstrating not only the harms of anti-LGBT discrimination but also the effectiveness of antidiscrimination law in ameliorating it.
Anti-discrimination laws are important not just for the legal protections and recourse they create, but also for their teaching function. As Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy stated in a 1996 case, enumeration is the essential device used to make the duty not to discriminate concrete; naming protects the group in question and serves the laws important signaling function. By stating that racial, gender, disability, SOGI and, yes, religion are protected, antidiscrimination laws have vital secondary effects. As Corvino points out, they reduce the incidence of hate crimes and cut down on stigmawhich is itself a risk factor for discrimination, anxiety, and even suicide.
Anderson and Girgis ignore these concerns. But just in case there are SOGI laws, they argue in support of businesses that would just rather not deal with LGBTQ couples trying to use wedding-related services: Their rights to public accommodation, not to mention just being themselves in public, should be trumped by the business owners rights to invoke religious exemptions. After all, they say, its not the parties sexual orientation the business owners object to, but their conduct in marrying.
Corvino skillfully picks this nonsense apart, noting that Anderson and Girgis arent as skeptical of other antidiscrimination laws. He wonders whether they would support a motel owner who refused to rent a room to a Catholic couple on the grounds that they werent true Christians. (I have a guess: They wouldnt.) His peroration is devastating: Religious freedom laws are not really about freedom. Theyre about signaling disapproval for certain forms of life. Their proponents want freedom for themselves that they proudly oppose for LGBT citizens: the freedom to marry, [and] the freedom to enter the commercial sphere without the threat of discrimination. Its a double standard.
Legal protections, even where they exist, are hardly a panacea. When I returned from Dallas, secure in the belief that what happened there could never happen to my Philadelphia LGBTQ swim team, I was coaching one evening when the coach of the youth diving team, which used the diving well right next to the pool, approached me angrily to complain that two of the guys had kissed each other on the pool deck. (Kids dont need to see that!) Never mind that he was likely the only one who even noticed the kiss. Never mind that on a diving team there were sure to be some young gay divers. (Greg Louganis, Tom Daley ) Never mind that a similar, utterly chaste kiss between a man and a woman would have gone unremarked. A few weeks later, we were kicked out. So were all other outside groups that had been renting the pool. Although wed never be able to prove it, that one kiss had caused a cataclysm, culminating in a camouflaging wholesale policy change.
Thats the kind of visibility-punishing outcome Girgis and Anderson are after. They turn the facts of the world upside down, ignoring the deep homo- and transphobia that still persists even today and casting the vast Christian majority as the true victims. The universe theyd prefer to inhabit would drive LGBTQ people back into a closet, afraid that visibility would compromise their jobs, their safety, and even their lives. For some, thats already the reality. We cant afford to fall further back.
Read more:
- Free Download MP3 Album Sublime - Sublime To Freedom [Last Updated On: October 16th, 2010] [Originally Added On: October 16th, 2010]
- Braveheart In Defiance Of The English Tyranny! BRAVO [Last Updated On: April 2nd, 2011] [Originally Added On: April 2nd, 2011]
- rage against the machine - freedom [Last Updated On: April 3rd, 2011] [Originally Added On: April 3rd, 2011]
- Richie Havens, Freedom, (Woodstock) [Last Updated On: April 8th, 2011] [Originally Added On: April 8th, 2011]
- Dodge Challenger Freedom Commercial [Last Updated On: May 20th, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 20th, 2011]
- Twelve Girls Band - Freedom [Last Updated On: May 20th, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 20th, 2011]
- Akon "Freedom" 2009 [Last Updated On: May 22nd, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 22nd, 2011]
- Paul McCartney - Freedom (Nobel Peace Prize '2001) [Last Updated On: May 23rd, 2011] [Originally Added On: May 23rd, 2011]
- Jimi Hendrix- Freedom [Last Updated On: June 1st, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 1st, 2011]
- Braveheart freedom speech -- Matt [Last Updated On: June 3rd, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 3rd, 2011]
- freedom 101 [Last Updated On: June 7th, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 7th, 2011]
- Dj Andi and Stella-Freedom(Summer Hit)+lyrics [Last Updated On: June 17th, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 17th, 2011]
- Braveheart Freedom Short [Last Updated On: June 18th, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 18th, 2011]
- LOVE PSYCHEDELICO - Freedom, featuring Christopher Yates [Last Updated On: June 24th, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 24th, 2011]
- Alice Cooper - Freedom [Last Updated On: June 30th, 2011] [Originally Added On: June 30th, 2011]
- "Freedom Rallies" Honored in Williamston — North Carolina Public Radio WUNC [Last Updated On: July 11th, 2011] [Originally Added On: July 11th, 2011]
- Looking For Freedom - David Hasselhoff [Last Updated On: July 14th, 2011] [Originally Added On: July 14th, 2011]
- Braveheart - FREEDOM scene [Last Updated On: July 22nd, 2011] [Originally Added On: July 22nd, 2011]
- Amanda Knox: 'Another Day Closer to Freedom' [Last Updated On: July 25th, 2011] [Originally Added On: July 25th, 2011]
- Sugababes - Freedom [Last Updated On: September 4th, 2011] [Originally Added On: September 4th, 2011]
- Freedom River [Last Updated On: September 25th, 2011] [Originally Added On: September 25th, 2011]
- Wham! - Freedom [Last Updated On: September 25th, 2011] [Originally Added On: September 25th, 2011]
- Sistars - Freedom [Last Updated On: September 27th, 2011] [Originally Added On: September 27th, 2011]
- All Stars - Freedom (Theme from Panther) [Last Updated On: September 28th, 2011] [Originally Added On: September 28th, 2011]
- Richie Havens Sings "Freedom" [Last Updated On: September 29th, 2011] [Originally Added On: September 29th, 2011]
- Nokia N8 Pink - Freedom [Last Updated On: October 8th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 8th, 2011]
- Wham! - Freedom with Lyrics [Last Updated On: October 12th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 12th, 2011]
- Make Mine Freedom (1948) - Video [Last Updated On: October 13th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 13th, 2011]
- Jason Upton - Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: October 18th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 18th, 2011]
- Devo - Freedom Of Choice (Video) - Video [Last Updated On: October 19th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 19th, 2011]
- Michael McDonald - Sweet Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: October 20th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 20th, 2011]
- DJ BOBO - FREEDOM 1995 - Video [Last Updated On: October 21st, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 21st, 2011]
- George Michael FREEDOM '90 - Video [Last Updated On: October 24th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 24th, 2011]
- Episode One: Economic Freedom [Last Updated On: October 25th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 25th, 2011]
- FFVII Crisis Core Soundtrack: The Price of Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: October 27th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 27th, 2011]
- Alain Clark - For Freedom (Official Video) - Video [Last Updated On: October 27th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 27th, 2011]
- Bob Sinclar [Last Updated On: October 28th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 28th, 2011]
- For Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: October 30th, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 30th, 2011]
- Braveheart Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: October 31st, 2011] [Originally Added On: October 31st, 2011]
- Wyclef Jean - "Freedom" (Song For Egypt) - Video [Last Updated On: November 4th, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 4th, 2011]
- Land And Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: November 7th, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 7th, 2011]
- Dan Balan - Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: November 9th, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 9th, 2011]
- Paul McCartney-Freedom+Let It Be@Concert For New York City - Video [Last Updated On: November 14th, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 14th, 2011]
- New Life Worship - It Was For Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: November 26th, 2011] [Originally Added On: November 26th, 2011]
- Laboratory pups get first taste of freedom in US. - Video [Last Updated On: December 7th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 7th, 2011]
- Jackson Browne Performs "I Am A Patriot" at Freedom Plaza (12.05.2012) HD - Video [Last Updated On: December 7th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 7th, 2011]
- Give-Me-Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: December 8th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 8th, 2011]
- Jesus Culture - Freedom Reigns - Video [Last Updated On: December 12th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 12th, 2011]
- rage against the machine - Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: December 22nd, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 22nd, 2011]
- Doug Stanhope on Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: December 26th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 26th, 2011]
- The Beautiful Girls - Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: December 27th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 27th, 2011]
- Michael Heart - "Freedom" - EXCLUSIVE OFFICIAL VIDEO - Video [Last Updated On: December 29th, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 29th, 2011]
- Wham! - Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: December 31st, 2011] [Originally Added On: December 31st, 2011]
- Richie Havens 1969 Woodstock - Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: January 1st, 2012] [Originally Added On: January 1st, 2012]
- Freedom ! - Video [Last Updated On: January 8th, 2012] [Originally Added On: January 8th, 2012]
- Elton John- Philadelphia Freedom - Video [Last Updated On: January 10th, 2012] [Originally Added On: January 10th, 2012]
- [M/V] ITAEWON FREEDOM (with JY Park) - Video [Last Updated On: January 12th, 2012] [Originally Added On: January 12th, 2012]
- Pharoah Sanders "You Got To Have Freedom" (1980) - Video [Last Updated On: January 26th, 2012] [Originally Added On: January 26th, 2012]
- Freedom Environmental Services, Inc. Signs Service Contracts With 14 Sonny's Real Pit Bar-B-Q Franchisees [Last Updated On: January 28th, 2012] [Originally Added On: January 28th, 2012]
- Pope's peace doves slow to taste freedom [Last Updated On: January 30th, 2012] [Originally Added On: January 30th, 2012]
- Why is Feb. 1 designated as National Freedom Day? [Last Updated On: January 31st, 2012] [Originally Added On: January 31st, 2012]
- Marcia G. Yerman: 'Chimes of Freedom' Celebrates the Power of Music and Activism [Last Updated On: January 31st, 2012] [Originally Added On: January 31st, 2012]
- Complaints boss urges UK press freedom [Last Updated On: January 31st, 2012] [Originally Added On: January 31st, 2012]
- New Freedom museum opens Saturday [Last Updated On: February 3rd, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 3rd, 2012]
- Underground Railroad Freedom Center battling tough times [Last Updated On: February 3rd, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 3rd, 2012]
- Freedom High School boys basketball team beats Easton Area High School [Last Updated On: February 3rd, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 3rd, 2012]
- Warship Freedom again breaks down at sea [Last Updated On: February 4th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 4th, 2012]
- Freedom gymnasts set school record, win Cedar Run title [Last Updated On: February 4th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 4th, 2012]
- Freedom tops FVL, takes hold of EVC [Last Updated On: February 4th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 4th, 2012]
- Freedom claims SMAC wrestling tourney title [Last Updated On: February 5th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 5th, 2012]
- Freedom Week In Bradley County [Last Updated On: February 7th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 7th, 2012]
- Freedom Total Knee(R) System Receives Frost & Sullivan's Best Practices Award for "Product Differentiation Excellence ... [Last Updated On: February 7th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 7th, 2012]
- Covert to Overt: 'Revolt how-to' earns big for US freedom factory - Video [Last Updated On: February 7th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 7th, 2012]
- Ron Paul Interview On Freedom Watch 01/30/12 - Video [Last Updated On: February 7th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 7th, 2012]
- Tortured Freedom: Libya's new rulers resort to old tactics - Video [Last Updated On: February 7th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 7th, 2012]
- End the TSA for Freedom and Human Dignity - Video [Last Updated On: February 7th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 7th, 2012]
- Were Run by Ruthless, Freedom Hating, Dangerous Scum! 3/3 - Video [Last Updated On: February 7th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 7th, 2012]
- Were Run by Ruthless, Freedom Hating, Dangerous Scum! 1/3 - Video [Last Updated On: February 7th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 7th, 2012]
- Defend our freedom to share (or why SOPA is a bad idea) - Video [Last Updated On: February 7th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 7th, 2012]
- Biden on Internet Freedom Anti SOPA - Video [Last Updated On: February 7th, 2012] [Originally Added On: February 7th, 2012]