Lloyd Waters: Free speech or anarchy? A dilemma – Herald-Mail Media

Hey, I was thinking about having a free speech rally with a few of my buddies from Dargan. Are you interested in joining us? About 75 individuals have already signed up.

What are we protesting? All those years that people considered Dargan a second-class community and looked at us funny when we said, Hello, Im from Dargan.

Seriously, we are still a little upset. Its the beginning of a movement.

A respected Dargan gentleman is bringing some hooch (aka moonshine).

All members of the group will be wearing dark hoodies and masks to blend into the night, so you wont be able to identify us on TV.

Were bringing some ax handles and picks to break out a few windows. And a few matches to light some trash cans on fire.

A little entertainment always goes nicely with a free speech demonstration.

You know how this works, right? Once we break a few windows and start some small fires, everyone will want to know why we are protesting. The cameras will be there long before the police.

I will then come from the back of the pack to give my speech. Youll know its me because Ill be the one with the bullhorn. (Dont give away our little secret.)

The ACLU will represent me, should I be arrested and go to jail. Its what the ACLU does.

Its really no big deal going to jail anyway, for exercising your right of free speech. They usually turn you loose with no fine or penalty.

Im thinking well have a few of our Dargan ladies lock arms and block a major highway to create some additional havoc and prevent some folks from going to work or to the hospital.

We will try our best not to hurt anyone, just as long as I can deliver my speech to all of you anti-Dargan folks. If you get upset with the broken windows and the burnt trash cans, and a little lateness getting to work, or to the hospital if youre sick, I extend my apologies. But I really dont care very much about those things because, on this night, Im a protestor expressing my rights to free speech.

Its also really important to me that the world knows how upset we are in Dargan.

Now, I know some of the boys will want to put some of that hooch in a bottle and burn up a few police cars along the way, but Ive already told them thats taking free speech a little too far. And, besides, thats a poor waste of some good hooch. They all agreed. Dargan protesters are really quite professional and peaceful.

No police cars will be burned. We support the local police although, in Dargan, we dont have any.

We were planning to return a second night to protest the election of Donald Trump as president, but most of the boys didnt vote in the first place, so we didnt feel right doing that.

After I give my speech to explain why we are protesting, I will tell you the difference between free speech and anarchy (a state of lawlessness or political disorder due to the absence of governmental authority). Or maybe Ill let you find out that difference for yourself.

If our first protest goes pretty well, Ill be soliciting some additional support from Sandy Hook, Bedington and a few other small towns. So we might close a few airports, the Mall of America and some railroads in Brunswick to get our cause some nationwide coverage.

If you want to save yourself a little trouble and avoid the broken glass, fires and destruction, just send me your apology and tell me in a three-page, handwritten letter Why I Love Dargan, and no more free speech demonstrations will occur in your community.

If we dont hear from you, well be getting some more hooch and schedule another protest in your neighborhood real soon.

Dont get so excited, OK? Im only kidding. Dargan loves you.

Lloyd Pete Waters is a Sharpsburg resident who writes for The Herald-Mail.

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Lloyd Waters: Free speech or anarchy? A dilemma - Herald-Mail Media