Money and relationships: Spouse’s addiction draining your wealth? Deal with it this way – Economic Times

Managing money and growing wealth is a difficult task even in the normal course. Add to it external and internal threats, the former including macroeconomic factors or exceptional ones like the current Covid crisis. The internal threats can include personality or behavioural issues, such as addictions or bad habits. Excessive shopping, Internet addiction, gambling, drinking or drug abuse can damage both your physical and financial health, often irrevocably.

1. What will be the impact?Addictions invariably help people escape troubling reality or are sought by those suffering from depression and anxiety. These start by eating into their time, taking them away from work, and often resulting in job loss. These are also expensive, demanding a constant supply of money. So the funds for essentials like food, utilities, loan EMIs, rent and investments are diverted towards addictions, and in case of job loss, the existing savings are depleted and debts pile up. Addictions like drinking, smoking or drug abuse also have a huge health and insurance cost, leading to increased medical expenses as well as a rise in health and life insurance premiums.

2. Compulsive shoppingIf your spouses obsession started as a retail therapy to overcome bad moods, help them look for alternatives to be happy. Encourage interaction with family and friends, following hobbies and passions, and physical activities like sports, exercise or even cleaning. To provide them a reality check for finances, work with a monthly budget by listing the income and expenses, separate the essential spending from discretionary, and list your familys goals and the amount needed to save every month to be able to reach these. This will help them focus on how much they can actually afford to shop. To help curb spending proactively, push them to cut up the credit cards, shop only with a list and only for the things they need. If nothing helps, seek a behavioural therapist and a financial counsellor.

3. Internet, gaming obsessionHere, it is important to know the reason: is it a way to avoid work and responsibility, or a harmless timepass that blew up into an addiction? If it is the latter and is in the initial stages, it is best to make a clean break by cutting off the Internet connection. In case of the former, encourage the spouse to talk about the problems, reduce their workload, and indulge in entertainment or fun activities. If, however, it has developed into a full-blown addiction, it is best to seek the help of a behavioural therapist or a psychologist.

4. Drinking, smoking, drugs and gamblingThese are all serious addictions that are typically hard to get rid of and often require professional help. These also have extreme financial consequences. If your spouse is in the grip of one, it is best to seek medical help and therapy. On your part, you will first have to seek financial independence by getting a job. Next, ensure that the partner does not have access to your funds through your bank account or via Net banking. As a next step, seek the help of a financial counsellor, who can ground you in the basics of saving and investing for your and your childrens goals. These self-help measures will ensure that till the time your spouse gets back on track, or even if he doesnt and you need to separate, you will be well-versed in financial planning and will be able to take care of yourself and your financial goals.

If you have a wealth whine, write to us...All of us have been in a financial dilemma when it comes to relationships. How do you say no to a friend who wants you to invest in his new business venture? Should you take a loan from your married brother? Are you concerned about your wifes impulse buying? If you have any such concerns that are hard to resolve, write in to us at etwealth@timesgroup.com with Wealth Whines as the subject.

Disclaimer: The advice in this column is not from a licensed healthcare professional and should not be construed as psychological counselling, therapy or medical advice. ET Wealth and the writer will not be responsible for the outcome of the suggestions made in the column.

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Money and relationships: Spouse's addiction draining your wealth? Deal with it this way - Economic Times