Glorious Burdens: "The Big Event" and One Student’s Evolution of Faith – Skidmore News

The Big Event a Christian conference nestled beside Lake Champlain and inviting students from all over New York and New Jersey changed my confusing experience in faith, but also highlighted the challenge of choosing to be a Christian on a secular campus. When put in a room with a bunch of people who shared my same belief, it was not difficult for me to get immersed and feel God working. It was almost overwhelming how much the energy changed. The most honest prayer I can pray is the one I pray when I am heartbroken, and heartbreak doesnt begin to cover what I was feeling.

Despite being Christian all my life, I truly fell in love with Christ and His personality at Big. But I wish it was as easy as it sounds. Take it this way, falling in love with God is remarkably similar to falling in love with someone theyre so interesting and attractive, but you will never know how they feel since you talk to them (maybe) twice a week. The only way to know who He is, is to talk to him and get to know Him, and sometimes it is not all rainbows and sunshine because as long as youre human, no relationship can be perfect but heres the catch, God is perfect love.

I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I served at my churchs worship team, became an usher and helped with their youth group. But going abroad, I conveniently left my faith at the steps of my small church in Bandung, Indonesia. Christianity no longer became a banner I waved with pride, especially when it was associated with certain points of views, practices and beliefs that even I could not wrap my head around and tolerate. Finding my own identity in the culture of the world, I left my identity as a Christian. I felt like a stranger in my own skin, not entirely sure where I stand in matters of my belief.

Throw away all your preconceived notions of a Christian conference. Now imagine a room with a live band, hip-hop music blaring from the speakers, 375 college students from across New York and New Jersey all talking amongst each other, having dance-offs, singing, praying that kind of atmosphere flooded The Big Event.

The most memorable moment that I had at the Big Event was when I felt like I was wrestling with God during worship. I realised that I was disillusioned about the idea of God. If He is so perfect and all-knowing and if He loves me, its easy to ask why didnt He do this one thing I really wanted Him to? Why did God read my message and leave me on read? If He really wants what is best for me, why didnt He make my prayers a reality? And to all those questions, Gods response was You cannot change hearts, only I can. I love you, thats why I need you to wait, for I know whats best for you. And to that, I broke down, and all the anger and jealousy that overflowed in the pits of my chest were gone, and my burden was lifted and exchanged with a cross I chose to take up.

Walking by the shoreline of Lake Champion, the first thing I realised was how light my heart felt. Pride, jealousy, anger- emotions that I never knew I felt had been replaced with a feeling of tranquillity. It was like being embraced by your best friend who you have not seen in so long. During Big Event, I was reminded that there was no certain mold of what an ideal Christian looks like (Hint: it is definitely not Bible-beaters in their high castles, twisting the Word to fit their personal and political agenda).

I can be whoever I am now, with all my imperfections, guilt, and shame. And as a college student, I still can glorify God through what I like to do: academic endeavours, extracurricular activities, and work. I dont have to fit any mold because jars of clay look different, and God still set treasures in them.

Youve always been like that, my mom told me over a Skype call from a thousand miles away. I told her about how I found a perfect Christian analogy about how being close to God was a lot like tuning in a radio. The world was noise a bunch of little dots on your screen that dont really make a lot of sense until you tune in to a channel. When you tune in to Gods channel, life starts to make sense. You start to see images, and colour, and stuff that has the potential to be beautiful.

When I realized that everything I do at Skidmore can be something that shows Gods character, being a Christian became something that I didnt need to hide anymore. This remains the challenge: when the spiritual high dies down and when the worlds noise starts to get to you, that is when you realise that being a Christian in a secular campus is an active choice you are making, and that is a liberating experience- and I know Im not alone. Worship and change do not only start in a camp in the middle of the Catskills, but it was a catalyst for me.

Christian Fellowship meets every Friday at 7pm in the ICC and every Wednesday at 6pm in the Joto Penthouse, if youre interested.

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Glorious Burdens: "The Big Event" and One Student's Evolution of Faith - Skidmore News