Out-of-Practice Trump Forgets to Strand Rally Crowd in Parking Lot – The New Yorker

WELLINGTON, OHIO (The Borowitz Report)Holding his first campaign-style rally in months, an out-of-practice Donald J. Trump forgot to strand the events attendees in a parking lot Saturday night.

Blaming the failure to strand the rally crowd on rustiness, a member of Trumps inner circle apologized for not delivering a signature feature of Trump rallies.

People have come to expect that, at the conclusion of one of our rallies, they will be marooned in the middle of nowhere for hours, often in inclement weather, Harland Dorrinson, a Trump aide, said. On Saturday night, we didnt get it done.

Dorrinson said that the entire Trump team would be conducting a postmortem of the rally to find out why attendees were able to leave the event without incident.

Saturday night was our first rally in a long time, and we werent in fighting shape, Dorrinson said. But thats no excuse. I want to promise all future attendees: if you come to a Trump rally, you will be stranded for hours afterward with no buses anywhere in sightperiod.

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Out-of-Practice Trump Forgets to Strand Rally Crowd in Parking Lot - The New Yorker