Late Night Takes a Swig of Trumps Impeachment Light – The New York Times

I agree and I cannot wait to take that out of context for the next 100 years. SAMANTHA BEE

O.K., will the last vertebrae to leave Lindsey Grahams spine please remember to turn off the lights? STEPHEN COLBERT

Lindsey Grahams point was, I guess that the parties involved in the investigation were biased against Donald Trump. They didnt want him to be president, which is a crazy point to make, because I can think of someone else back then who didnt want him to be president, too. JIMMY KIMMEL

I guess he had a change of heart, because Lindsey Graham was one of the most outspoken critics of Trump; now he suckles at his teat like a baby goat. JIMMY KIMMEL

Those messages dont prove anything. You cant go anywhere in the world without hearing opinions about Trump. Im pretty sure there are people stranded on deserted islands in the Bermuda Triangle putting rocks together that say, Trump is a douche. SETH MEYERS

Meanwhile, every Democrat was like, I allot my time to Lindsey Graham. Just keep going. JIMMY FALLON

A damning chain of texts. Ill tell you what: I can understand why Graham is furious. Not only is that overt bias by F.B.I. agents, theyre stealing Grahams best material. STEPHEN COLBERT

Time magazine today unveiled their person of the year for 2019 and that person is Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old activist, the youngest woman, youngest human ever to be named person of the year. And to honor this young woman whos dedicated her life thus far to saving the environment, Time will cut down thousands of trees to print 2 million copies of the magazine. JIMMY KIMMEL

When asked what she thought about Time, Thunberg said, We probably have about five, six years left. SETH MEYERS

It was like, Great news, Greta. Were going to cut down a million trees and print your face on them, and then were going to put them on airplanes and send them all over the world! TREVOR NOAH

"Its so cool to be named the person of the year while youre still in high school, all right? All the other kids are like, I was voted most likely to succeed. And Greta is slapping her magazine like, I already did, bitch. TREVOR NOAH

Plus she doesnt have to fill out a college application she can show them this. But it will be awkward when she presents it to Harvard: Wait a second Aunt Becky told us her daughter was person of the year. TREVOR NOAH

After being told, the 16-year-old girl asked, Whats a magazine? CONAN OBRIEN

Greta famously sailed across the Atlantic Ocean on a boat with no kitchen, no showers and no toilets. And anyone whos ever been on a carnival cruise was, like Hey, I did that. Where is my award? JIMMY FALLON

Jon Hamm and Keri Russell play Mad Lib Theater on Wednesday's The Tonight Show.

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Late Night Takes a Swig of Trumps Impeachment Light - The New York Times