What if your future husband wants kids? One womans struggle to be sterilized at 24 – Yahoo News

Sydney Mealey knew she never wanted to have children. She took oral birth control and tried the patch but wanted more permanent and reliable contraception. In the past, when she casually brought up tubal ligation, aka female sterilization, with her regular OB-GYN, her doctor wasnt receptive.

I always received pushback from my doctor, so I knew that it wouldnt be an option, the 27-year-old who lives in Pittsburgh told TODAY. (My doctor) was always like, Well, what if you change your mind? Or What if your future husband wants kids? Or things along that line. And also very much like, Youre so young. Come talk to me again when youre 30.

So Mealy started researching and found the "childfree" forum on Reddit, which included a list of information to share with a doctor when asking for sterilization. She collected information about herself and started researching individual doctors, looking at the sterilization methods they offered and how open they seemed to be to performing the procedure on young, childless people. She finally selected a doctor in Cleveland, about a 2-hour drive from her home.

I assumed from the (start) that I would have a very difficult time, she said.

Most people in Sydney Mealey's life have been supportive of her choice to have her fallopian tubes removed as permanent contraception, though some of her romantic relationships have ended after partners learned she wanted to be child free. (Courtesy Sydney Mealey)

When she visited the doctor, she had a binder of information and made her case for a laparoscopic bilateral salpingectomy, a minimally invasive surgery that removes both fallopian tubes, permanently preventing pregnancy, according to Mayo Clinic.

I assumed the doctor would want to take the binder and read through the whole thing, Mealey recalled. (But) she said, You really do seem very adamant on this, and based on your history and what youre presenting to me, this is something that youre well informed about and you are consenting to, and I will perform this procedure for you.

Mealey felt stunned, especially since she'd heard stories of people hoping to undergo a sterilization procedure, but the doctor required a boyfriends or husbands permission.

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I felt like I needed to pinch myself honestly. I went in very much expecting a hard and fast no, she said. I was definitely very much in shock but again ecstatic and happy. I felt heard and seen.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the leading group of these types of doctors in the U.S., stresses that "respect for an individual womans reproductive autonomy should be the primary concern guiding sterilization provision and policy," per 2020 guidance.

In other words, "ACOG says this pretty clearly that we should not use somebodys age or their parity meaning whether or not they have had kids or how many kids they do have as a reason to refuse someone this surgery, Dr. Jennifer Lincoln, OB-GYN and author of Lets Talk About Down There: An OB-GYN Answers All Your Burning Questions Without Making You Feel Embarrassed for Asking, told TODAY.

She said the risks of tubal ligation include unintended pregnancy and regret but both seem to be rare. The five-year failure rate for female sterilization is about 13 per 1,000.

That is still really ridiculously good, Lincoln said. I imagine where you remove the entire tube, its probably close to zero, but we can never say (anything) is zero.

There are several ways doctors offer tubal ligation. Sometimes doctors remove part of the fallopian tubes a 6 in 1,000 failure rate over five years, per Lincoln or cauterize them closed, about a 16 in 1,000 failure rate over five years. Bilateral salpingectomy, the removal of both fallopian tubes, which is what Mealey opted for, comes with an additional benefit.

We have good data that has shown that people who have their tubes removed, not only are we providing excellent contraception, but were also decreasing their risk of ovarian cancer, Lincoln said. We understand now that probably a good portion of ovarian cancer actually arises from the fallopian tubes.

Age can play a role in whether people regret their decision to be sterilized, but its still uncommon.

The real statistics that we tend to quote to people is that when youre less than 30, your risk of regret is much higher. Its about 13%, Lincoln said. After 30, that risk of regret is about 6.5%.

Still, she doesnt believe doctors should be "gatekeepers" who stop people from undergoing a wanted tubal ligation.

We should not force people to not have access to a good birth control method if they just happen to be 25 or 28 or 35 and have no kids," Lincoln said.

Sierra McConnell knew she didnt want children and felt like her birth control implant made her feel nauseated constantly. She hoped for a permanent birth control option.

I didnt want kids ever. I never played house, the 36-year-old from Pittsburgh told TODAY. I just said, Enough, and I set out to find someone who would take my tubes out.

Having her fallopian tubes removed for birth control was

She told her new primary care physician that she wanted to have her tubes removed, and her doctor recommended an OB-GYN that she believe would be open to it. McConnell felt surprised by how painless it was for her.

It was probably the easiest thing Ive ever had. It was just such a weight lifted off my shoulders that Im not ever going to get pregnant now. Thats just been my nightmare since I was a teenager, McConnell said.

Her insurance also covered her procedure, which took place in 2020 when she was 34, because its considered contraception. Mealey, who had her tubes removed when she was 24 in 2019, said with travel expenses and some out of pocket costs, her procedure cost about $1,700.

McConnell said she suspects that some people dont pursue sterilization because they fear what a doctor might say.

There were a lot of people coming onto the (childfree) subreddit and saying, Im really curious about this, but I dont want to have to jump through hoops. Or I dont want to be shamed, she recalled. People are afraid theyre going to go just to have a doctor tell them they dont know themselves.

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What if your future husband wants kids? One womans struggle to be sterilized at 24 - Yahoo News