When I die, I want a party in true Caribbean style – The Guardian

Notting Hill Carnival, 2016. When its my time to join the dearly departed I want colour, music and life all around me. Photograph: Neil Hall/Reuters

Generations ago, when someone passed on after reaching their biblical threescore years and ten, there was no sense that anything tragic had occurred. These days, 70 is starting to look like an early death. Perhaps this explains why theres so much confusion about the age at which a death seems part of the natural order of things, and what levelof mourning is appropriate.

A vicar recently told me that hesbecome fed up with relatives weeping and wailing at the funerals of the very aged, but theres no real reason why losing someone at 90 should be any less painful. In fact, if theyve been part of your life for so much longer, it might even be worse.

Its a truism that everyone deals with partings in their own way and for some, thats quiet reflection or silent goodbyes. Many find the eating, drinking and dancing at a Caribbean funeral, like the one I went to recently, too up-tempo for their tastes. But thats merely one way of asserting a belief in life over death. As long as mourning is genuine, it shouldnt really matter. Personally, when its my time to join the dearly departed, Iwant colour, music and life all around me.

At the other end of the age spectrum, theres welcome news from America that proves that youngsters are not quite as in thrall to the cult of fame and celebrity as is popularly supposed. More than 100 students from a school in Wisconsin refused to pose for a photo with the House speaker, Paul Ryan, while they were on a school trip to Washington. Theres no doubt that Ryan is very famous, although thats mainly for kowtowing to Trump. But that wasnt enough to convince these students to overlook his politics. At a time when youngsters are supposed to be up for a selfie with Satan himself if they spot him coming out of a nightclub, this story suggests otherwise.

It follows a recent Royal Society for Public Health report warning about the impact social media are having on the mental health of young people. Theres no doubt that the relentless peddling of anxiety about the way youth represents itself is having a negative effect. Theres also little sign that Instagram and Snapchat (the worst offenders, according to the RSPH) are planning to do anything about it. These Wisconsin students have shown the way.

Although I enjoy broadcasting, theres no doubt it can be a highly pressurised environment. There are strict codes and guidelines, and you have to stick to them. Then theres always the danger that you might find yourself embroiled in, ahem, controversy and that can be a very time-consuming business. So when Iwas invited to join a team of writers for a celebrity edition of the BBC quiz show Eggheads this week, I jumped at the chance. It sounded like a far more relaxed form of television than anything I was used to.

But when I found myself sitting on my panel in the studio, facing real Eggheads, who actually know their general knowledge, I started to worry. No amount of thumbing through Wikipedia the night before would have helped. Then there were my writer teammates, who I knew would be very supportive afterwards if I got a simple question wrong. But that wasnt helping either. There are nine categories of question you can be asked, and I wasnt a specialist in any of them. I like a lot of music, but I dont know my Fidelio from my Madama Butterfly, if a question on either of those came up. Perhaps an hour being grilled by Jeremy Paxman is more pressure. Butsomehow, Idoubt it.

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When I die, I want a party in true Caribbean style - The Guardian