JNU’s Umar Khalid hosts a seminar on Atheism with Dawkins & Harris, says ‘A’theism means One God – Firstpost (satire)

Posted: March 5, 2017 at 4:00 pm

New Delhi: JNUs Umar Khalid is all set to unleash his atheist ideas onto the nation. In that line, he has hosted a seminar on Atheism with global atheist stalwarts, Richard Dawkins and Sam Harris.

Umar Khalid shot to fame last yearwhen as a student of JNU, he and Kanhaiyya shouted Bharat tere tukde hoge, which resulted in a surge of outrage from his co-ideologists from journalist and political spheres. While Umar Khalid was targeted for his religion, he shot back saying that he is an Atheist. It has been a year since and Umar was blamed for not sharing anything related to Atheism in his Facebook timeline.

To put an end to all controversy around my atheism, I am hosting this session, said Umar from the seminar stage. Richard Dawkins was seated on his left and Sam Harris was seated on his right. Today, I am going to discuss atheism. I call upon my brothers and sisters of India to walk out of their Hinduismand embrace atheism. Before our other members could open their mouth, let me explain what my Atheism is.

Taking a look at the audience from left to right, Umar uttered these words, Atheism is a combination of two words A and Theism. It means there can be only one God. And He is watching us every day. And there can be only one Prophet(saw).

Turning back to Dawkins and Harris, Umar bent his head and asked, Do you agree to what I say?. Both of them looked shocked and shook their heads from left to right. Umar continued, Let me explain. Take 5th chapter, 23rd page, 432nd verse, 2nd line. What does it say? It says Immediately, the crowd went into cheer as goatee grew out of Umars chin. His glasses rim turned more translucent and a skull cap came out of nowhere. It was not Umar Khalid but Zakir Naik they saw there on the stage. While Umar was turning into Zakir, the seminar was turning into a seminary.

A conch blew from somewhere and Umar Khalid who is now Zakir Naik kept on growing in size uttering verses after verses. With his head touching ceiling, he then turned to the atheist duo, Do you not see who I am, O Infidels?, after which Harris and Dawkins ran from the stage to Delhi airport.

A visibly cheerful fan of Umar shouted from the audience, If a Zakir Naik is banned from India, thousands of Zakir Naiks will come out.

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JNU's Umar Khalid hosts a seminar on Atheism with Dawkins & Harris, says 'A'theism means One God - Firstpost (satire)

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