Just because you do not follow a relgion doesn't mean you don't share common values with those who do, Ken Gallinger tells a reader. ( dreamstime )
How is one to conduct themselves at a funeral when one doesnt practice the religion? I am a 55-year-old atheist. I know many elderly people and, as a result, have attended more than the average number of funerals. In the past I went through the motions of standing and sitting when instructed but never sang or participated in any responses. I am at the point now where even that feels wrong; I am not being true to my atheistic beliefs. Is there a right way to handle this?
OK, so Im puzzled. What, exactly, are atheistic beliefs?
Please understand: I ask not as a critic, but as a fellow traveller. Many would describe my own faith as atheistic. I prefer the expression post-theistic but the distinction, as my dad used to say, is the difference between damn and swearing.
So I know first-hand what atheists dont believe. We dont believe that, somewhere in the faraway heavens, there is a being named God who spends his time meddling in human lives, punishing evildoers and getting those he likes off airplanes before they crash. We dont believe that the earth was handmade by a heavenly potter, or that a distant deity decides the winner of the World Series. We also, incidentally, dont believe in unicorns or the Loch Ness monster.
But what do atheists believe? Is there a creed that distinguishes legitimate atheism from, say, lapsed Catholicism, cultural Judaism or secular Islam? If so, Ive never found it.
I do, however, know a few atheists. We dont talk about religion much but, judging by their lives, my atheist friends seem to believe that love is better than hate, relationships are more important than possessions, building up is preferable to tearing down, peace is more noble than war. My atheist friends are, in general, driven by a conviction that the earth is sacred, life is precious, and beauty, joy and hope should be the goals of their lives.
Are those your beliefs? If not, well, youre correct; youll feel uncomfortable in most religious services. You probably should stay home.
But if you do believe these things, you should feel comfortable in almost any religious gathering, funeral or otherwise, whether Christian, Jewish, Muslim, traditional Spirituality, or whatever. Yes, yes in all of those communities there are a few fundamentalists who will judge your atheism harshly, but setting them aside (which, trust me, is the right response), worship in the worlds main religions celebrates and lifts up exactly the same values that you espouse.
Sure, you may hear some God-language. Big deal; it wont hurt you. You may also hear a poem in which the hills are said to be singing. Or a hymn in which the stars are alive with joy. Someone may read a sacred text that celebrates the wonders of heaven. So what? Thats all poetry, and, viewed as such, its quite lovely.
So go with the flow. Let the music wash over you. Enjoy the poetry. Weep with the passion of a good eulogy. Honest, you wont catch religion just by being in a church; I was in one every day for 45 years and escaped unscathed better for the experience, in fact. And so will you.
Send your questions to star.ethics@yahoo.ca
The Toronto Star and thestar.com, each property of Toronto Star Newspapers Limited, One Yonge Street, 4th Floor, Toronto, ON, M5E1E6. You can unsubscribe at any time. Please contact us or see our privacy policy for more information.
Continued here:
How should an atheist behave at a religious funeral - Toronto Star
- Chapel Hill police: Parking dispute may have led to triple shooting [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Chapel Hill killings shine light on particular tensions between Islam and atheism [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Atheism and obesity - Main Page - Conservapedia [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Demographics of atheism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Atheism - Main Page - Conservapedia [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- science against atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Conversations Regarding Atheism & Theism - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- My Journey to Atheism - Part 5: Faith in God as an Adult - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Russell Brand Rips Stephen Fry's Atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Book about Jaclyn Glenn @jaclynglenn #freespeech #atheism #freethought - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Response to Atheism Episode 6 - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Atheist Analysis S04 E07: Interview With Peter Boghossian/ Street Epistemology /Atheism Evangelism - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Atheism Unleashed Presents.. 5 Stupid Questions... - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Follow-up to "Defining Atheism" - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Atheism Implodes Hard - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- God, Science & the Big Questions: Leading Christian Thinkers Respond to the New Atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Does Atheism Lead To A Bad Society? - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Atheism vs India Revisited 9 - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- My Flavor of Atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Robert Richert 'Communicating Atheism' - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- My Testimony - from Atheism to Biblical Christian - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- How to Convert a Theist to Atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Materialism begets atheism removing inherent spiritualistic realization *Nouman Ali Khan* - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Creation,Evolution, Christianity and Atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- Atheism, World Religions 1 - Video [Last Updated On: February 12th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 12th, 2015]
- A Short Talk About Christianity VS Atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- The Rules Of Atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- the point of atheism is non-violence - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Reacting to `Atheism Leads to Suicide - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- 'The Atheist Experience' Responds To Me - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Atheist Psychologist Admits Atheism is Unscientific - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Understanding Atheism | Session 1 | Asadullah Ali - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Atheism vs India Revisited 9a - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- How I Got Saved From Evolution/Atheism To Christ - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Atheism is... - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Atheism - Why Atheists Are Atheists - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Atheism Not Belief - War on Easter - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- A Christian defines Atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Atheist Dan Barker proves Atheism is madness - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- St. Athanasius & Why Atheism in on the Rise - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- LIVE Multi-Topic Hangout. Atheism, Christianity, My Personal Life With Sarah - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- The Deceit Of Atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Atheism-is-Unstoppable-2: What a moronic video! - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Cool People in Heaven Song #freespeech #atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- GodTVRadio Show - Freedom of Speech - Pimpmunkx Atheism is Money, Hustling, and Bank - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Atheism-is-Unstoppable-2 is a douche. - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Atheism - Man's Biggest Delusion - Video [Last Updated On: February 13th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 13th, 2015]
- Part 1 Election: Jacob and Esau; Atheism & Agnosticism Debunked - Video [Last Updated On: February 14th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 14th, 2015]
- Whiny Fans Complain About the Show - Atheism is Depressing - Obama vs ISIS - and Much More! DPP #84 - Video [Last Updated On: February 14th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 14th, 2015]
- A few current events relevant to atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 14th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 14th, 2015]
- Finish Drive Into City Of Lancaster, PA 2/11/15, Atheism Is An Ideology - Video [Last Updated On: February 14th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 14th, 2015]
- Atheism: No Good, No Evil, No Hope | Big Objections | Andrew Wilson - Video [Last Updated On: February 14th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 14th, 2015]
- From Atheism to Freethought - Nirmukta - Video [Last Updated On: February 14th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 14th, 2015]
- The Trouble With Atheism Part 6 - Video [Last Updated On: February 14th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 14th, 2015]
- Ed Buckner Shatters Closed Minded Hamza Tzortzis To Pieces on Atheism vs Islam Debate - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Does God Exist? A Muslim response to the growing trend of Atheism! - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Does Atheism Exist? - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Understanding Atheism | Session 5 | Asadullah Ali - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Hamza Tzortzis vs Lawrence Krauss - Islam or Atheism which one makes more sense? The Big Debate - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Stupid Anti-Vaxxers - Eric Hovid on How Atheism Causes Suicide - Stupid Ads - DPP #83 - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Theism vs Atheism with Christjahn Beck - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Session 1|| Understanding Atheism|| Asadullah Ali - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Atheism vs India Revisited 10 - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Understanding Atheism | Session 3 | Asadullah Ali - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Contradictions of Atheism #atheistlogic - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Understanding Atheism | Session 2 | Asadullah Ali - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- New Atheism and a Meaningless Universe | William Lane Craig, PhD - Video [Last Updated On: February 16th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 16th, 2015]
- Richard Dawkins slams video that claims to 'destroy atheism' [Last Updated On: February 17th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 17th, 2015]
- Don't blame Atheism. - Video [Last Updated On: February 17th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 17th, 2015]
- Bibles atheism moms why me? - Video [Last Updated On: February 17th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 17th, 2015]
- Craig Hicks: The Face of Atheism? - Video [Last Updated On: February 17th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 17th, 2015]
- Atheism vs India Revisited 10a - Video [Last Updated On: February 17th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 17th, 2015]
- A C Grayling - Atheism, Theism and Proof - Video [Last Updated On: February 17th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 17th, 2015]
- 2 reasons why it's a bad week to be an atheist [Last Updated On: February 18th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 18th, 2015]
- GodTVRadio Show - BionicDance - Atheism is Money for Hate - Video [Last Updated On: February 18th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 18th, 2015]
- Atheism is Child Indoctrination - By Brett Keane - Video [Last Updated On: February 18th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 18th, 2015]
- North Carolina shootings do not represent Atheism [Last Updated On: February 19th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 19th, 2015]
- FEMINISM IS RUINING ATHEISM - Video [Last Updated On: February 19th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 19th, 2015]
- Dear World, Happy Valentines Day, Love Islam - Video [Last Updated On: February 19th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 19th, 2015]
- Religious Atheism - Video [Last Updated On: February 19th, 2015] [Originally Added On: February 19th, 2015]