The most UnAustralian Australians of the Year – Sydney Morning Herald

The Private Sydney Australia Day Dishonours list is dedicated to the shameless, the unintentionally hilarious, the idiotic, the buffoonish and the self-absorbed of our great land.

And theres no shortage of contenders, as a quick scroll down the Daily Mails right-hand column of shame would testify on any given day and at any given hour.

This year's honour for Services to Indolence goes to Kyle Sandilands. The radio star, who is almost as famous for the amount of days he has off work than he is for his tawdry love life, became headline news again after he slept in and turned up to work an hour late last week.

Sierra uploaded a video to social media outlining the couples experience and said they had been kept in the dark after multiple training sessions were cancelled at the last minute.Credit:YouTube/Vanessa Sierra

PS's nominees for Services To Shameless Attention Seeking have to be Aussie tennis star Bernard Tomic and his latest squeeze, an OnlyFans adult entertainer named Vanessa Sierra.

Rebel Wilson with her beer baron boyfriend Jacob Busch in Monte Carlo last year.Credit:Instagram

They've been "locked up" in hotel quarantine ahead of the Australian Open and according to them, the conditions have been unbearable. (Sierra now says she was joking when she started posting on social media about the hardship of having to wash her own hair, which the next day she claimed had generated 500 death threats.)

Sierra scaled the dizzying heights of Aussie celebrity as an also-ran on the torturous dating show Love Island, but last week she became headline news all by herself on Channel Seven. The network played her heavily edited video, apparently skipping Sierra's "punchline", though to be honest she's no Joan Rivers.

Comic Rebel Wilson is being inducted today into the Order of the Ultimate Bogan Betrayers.

Wilson has been applauded for shedding kilos during her year-long health kick, but judging by her highly-orchestrated Instagram feed it would appear she now has little in common with the woman her fans originally fell in love with.

Wilson got her big break in Fat Pizza 20 years ago, in which she unapologetically played overweight Greek-Australian Toula. Last year she admitted she would be "crucified" if the politically incorrect show went to air today.

Wilson also wrote and starred in the series Bogan Pride, playing the character Jennie Cragg as she embarks on a quest to win $10,000 in a local dance battle to pay for her morbidly obese mother's stomach stapling operation.

No more fat-shaming, culturally insensitive cheap laughs for Wilson these days though.

Wilson now flies around the world's most exclusive resorts on a seemingly endless fleet of private jets, parties on superyachts with billionaires, and hangs out with European royalty and Hollywood A-listers. She is dating a hot beer baron with a penchant for Gucci mules and regularly poses in sexy photo shoots showing off her new, svelte figure.

For Services to Injectibles, Lip Fillers and Fabulousness, PS can't look past former child star Jack Vidgen, who has recreated himself into an androgynous Lolitaesque character. He appears to have kissed his squeaky-clean, boy next door persona goodbye, along with his legion of 80-year-old grandmother fans.

During his time on I'm A Celebrity. . . Get Me Out Of Here! Vidgen opened up about the many cosmetic procedures he had undergone, saying: "If someone's happy... and they look like a circus clown... if they're happy, they're happy."

Jack Vidgen, then 14, blew everyone away with his audition on Australia's Got Talent in 2011.Credit: Nine

Clearly not as happy are this years inductees into the Order Of Repressed Angry White Men who have valiantly been waging their battles on the gender, race and sexuality fronts since Moses was a boy: NSW One Nation leader Mark Latham and unintentional humorist, Christian lobbyist Lyle Shelton.

Latham has given up trolling former Australian of the Year, domestic violence campaigner Rosie Batty, and focused his hyperventilation on ensuring school kids remain in their scientifically-proven gender camps (sorry Jack, you and your false eyelashes and luscious lips are not welcome).

Meanwhile like-minded Shelton has been waging war against story book reading drag queens in Brisbane when he's not posing in selfies with local Proud Boys. He insists he was joking after he managed to absorb valuable Queensland police time when he tweeted he had a "sneaky run across the border and back" and "avoided the CCP [Chinese Communist Party] virus police" in the process.

However you intend to commemorate, commiserate or simply ignore Australia Day, and regardless of your views on Shelton, Latham, Sandilands, Tomic, Sierra, Wilson et al, we should never forget how lucky we are to live in a place where deliberately mischievous columns such as this can be written.

That's reason enough to let all us Australians rejoice every day of the year.

Andrew Hornery is a senior journalist and Private Sydney columnist for The Sydney Morning Herald.

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The most UnAustralian Australians of the Year - Sydney Morning Herald