All dead but still alive, the comedians who keep us laughing – Slugger O’Toole

Sometimes when I cannot sleep, I think about Dead People. Sometimes I think about Dead Footballers (George Best, David Herd, Shay Brennan.) or Dead Musicians (John Lennon, Brian Jones, Keith Moon) but the most fun is Dead Comedians.

It is a good game to play. The only rule is that I must actually remember them. So Max Miller who is in my lifetime but I dont actually remember cannot be included.

People who I remember from being on TV and. Dead.

So. Tony Hancock, Charlie Drake, Charlie Chester, Ted Ray, Arthur Askey, Jimmy Edwards, Tommy Trinder, Frankie Howerd, Larry Grayson, Benny Hill, Harry Worth.

See it is really easy, especially if you are as old as I am. But just for you young folks.

Mel Smith, Felix Dexter, Rik Mayal, Eric Morcambe, Ernie Wise, Sean Hughes, Brendan Grace..

see even the youngest of you can play.

Spike Milligan, Michael Bentine, Beryl Reid.

The thing is, these people came on TV on variety shows (Harry Secombe, Cliff Richard, Mike Yarwood, Val Doonican, Rolf Harris, Cilla Black) and they did a turn.

And the turn was always the same.

Arthur Askey came on and said Hello Playmates and sang a song about a busy busy bee . And then he was finished. My father used to say look at the way Arthur Askey shakes hands.

Charlie Drake said Hello my darlings and er that was it basically.

Tommy Trinder said you lucky peopleand I think that was all.

Jimmy Edwards had a eupho.a euphehe had a tuba.

Now it doesnt sound like much but it was better in black and white. These people were the last hurrah of music hall/variety.

They had spent the 1930s, 1940s and most of the 1950s travelling in trains on the circuit between theatres in Sunderland, Plymouth, Liverpool, Glasgow staying in B&Bs and just doing their standard seven minutes.

No need for fresh material as it would be two years before they were back in Sunderland, Plymouth, Liverpool and Glasgow.

Ken Dodd, Ronnie Corbett, Ronnie Barker, Bruce Forsyth.

I hope you are playing along at home.

Then something very odd happened. It was called The Comedians and/or The Wheeltappers and Shunters Social Club and we had a new set of comics who had learned their trade in the working mens clubs mostly in the north of England.

They said things like there is a new priest at Old TraffordFarther Down and Mick and Paddy go into a building site. and this Pakistani..

all very politically incorrect but we hadnt invented Political Correctness and it was as ok as mother-in-law jokes and Carry-Onsand all part of the permissive society which was in freefall.

Bernard Manning, Mike Reid, Frank Carson, Colin Crompton.

The unlucky retired or died.

The lucky got panel shows Nicholas Parsons, Ted Rogers, Leslie Crowther, Bob Monkhouse.

But then we discovered that mothers in law arent funny. And there was something called alternative comedy. It was political.and university-driven.

Oh Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Jonathan MillerId almost forgotten.

I digress.

They did funny things. A personal favourite being Alexei Sayle.

But they did things like The Young Ones and Comedy Sore and it all looked right on.

But it wasnt. They were just as much one-trick ponies as Ken Dodd who was full of plumptiousness and Frankie Howerd who said Titter Ye Not.

From Stand Up to Sit Coms to DramaRowan Atkinson from Blackadder to Maigret. Or Tony Robinson Baldrick to Archaeology. Ben Elton from mocking Thatch to writing musicals. Stephen Fry from Melchett to QI and driving around USA in a black taxi. Hugh Laurie some doctors show.

Its a well-worn path. Comedy to Drama. Comedy to Panel Show (Frank Skinner, Lee Mack, Rob Brydon, Paul Merton).

Or chat show (John Bishop, James Corden).

And they all seem to be on each others shows. Is that Hugh Dennis on Mock the Week? Is that Jack Whitehall on The One Show. Is that ALL of them and more on 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown? Are they ALL taking their mothers on trips abroad for some kinda documentary? Like I said, Arthur Askey had a funny handshake.

Well, at least we got rid of all that cruel stuff that was not politically correct. I mean you never see Jim Davidson on TV talking about my mate Chalkey.

So its all good. Isnt it? Except of course Jo Brand makes a joke about acid throwing but thats ok. Frankie Boyle makes a joke about a woman in her 90s but thats ok cos shes rich and lives in Buckingham Palace. And Jimmy Carr makes a joke about traveller weddings.

See there is actually a second wave of Alternative Comedy. And the second wave is just as cruel as the so-called comedians back in the early 1970s.

Dermot Morgan, James Young, Lance Percival, William Rushton, Graham Chapman..

See there is a third wave. It is a pattern. Play student gigs, go to Edinburgh, win a bottle of posh French water and get picked up by producers who are scouting for new talent. Ease your way in.had we heard of Tom Allen three years ago? Rob Beckett? Katherine Ryan? Zoe Lyons? Josh Widdicombe?

A guest appearance on Have I Got News For You should get a couple of spots on Mock The Week or Would I lie to You? or Room 101 or Live at the Apollo or Taskmaster.

It seems that they all start off on the road. And when the heckling gets under their skin, they head for the safe zone of panel shows, straight drama, sitcom, the travelogue or writing a novel.

Jeremy Hardy, Caroline Ahearne, Freddie Starr.

But all those old-timers from the 1960s, they were The Establishment of sorts.Royal Variety Performance and all that. And Conservative. Didnt Leslie Crowther and Bob Monkhouse do warm-up acts at Tory Conferences?

Now of course, there is a new Establishment. Not necessarily lefties. Not necessarily liberals. But certainly London-centric elite. I mean those old variety/music hall types might have been to the political right of Atilla the Hun but at least they knew where Grimsby, Middlesbrough and Stoke-on-Trent were. And maybe they had more respect for the ordinary working people up there than any of the anti-Brexit funny men and funny women on BBC.

They seem oddly out of touch.

Which brings me to Nish Kumar and his bad experience on stage at a charity do at the weekend. For the Lords Taverners of all things and it is hard to think of a more upmarket charity. Personally I dont think Nish Kumar is that funny. Nor do I understand why he has been on Question Time (which I suppose is a kinda modern-day Royal Variety Performance for modern comedians). His entire act seems based on the fact that he is Asianwhich makes him as unfunny as Frank Carson.

But somehow the Lords Taverners didnt fully understand the nature of the (free) act they were getting in Nish Kumar. And clearly Nish Kumar did not appreciate that his views on BREXIT may not be appreciated by people who would mostly vote Conservative. BREXIT is an issue that has alienated modern comedy stars from a lot of the audience. When David Mitchell ponders that after BREXIT, the British population will be reduced to scavenging from wheely bins outside restaurantsit is somehow not feasible that David and his wife Victoria Coren Mitchell will really be doing that. Insulting the people in Gogglebox Land as being poor and stupid is not a good look.

Luckily in Norn Iron, we have had no comedians since James Young died. He was, of course, the man who told us to stop fighting but really he was as much part of the Establishment as Richard (Mr Pastry) Hearne and Ray Alan and Lord Charles.

If we did have comedians in Norn Iron, they would probably be part of a liberal elite who make fun of nationalists and unionists as being poor and stupid. But only of course in an inoffensive wayno comedian here would get away with doing jokes about the Queen or that Frankie Boyle joke about the chimpanzee escaping from Belfast Zoo.

Meanwhile. Victoria Wood, Norman Wisdom, Dick Emery, Reg Varney.

If you enjoyed playing along with the game Dead Comedians, I have devised a board game (also available Dead Actors, Dead Footballers, Dead Politicians) which will be an ideal Christmas gift.

Photo by Engin_Akyurt is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA

Retired man with a smartpass on public transport. Husband/Father/Grandfather. Celtic FC and Manchester United FC. Occasional SDLP member but they cant stand the sight of me. Hypocrite who despises Hypocrisy. Gets along with eveybody except LetsGetAlongerists. Wary of Conflict Resolution.

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All dead but still alive, the comedians who keep us laughing - Slugger O'Toole