Nancy Williams: Following the strange evolution of ‘promming’ – Asheville Citizen-Times

The Citizen-Times Published 11:22 a.m. ET April 30, 2017 | Updated 11 hours ago

The Erwin High prom was held at Crest Center April 28, 2017. Angela Wilhelm

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Scenes from the 2017 North Buncombe High prom 2017. To see more visit http://www.citizen-times.com. Bobby Shipman/Angeli Wright

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Scenes from the 2017 Roberson prom. See more photos at http://www.citizen-times.com. Bobby Shipman/Carol Spagnuola

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Girls picked out their perfect prom outfits from Eblen Charities' annual Operation Prom Dress giveaway on Thursday, March 30, 2017. Angeli Wright/awright@citizen-times.com

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Scenes from Erwin High prom 2017

Scenes from North Buncombe High prom 2017

Scenes from Roberson High prom 2017

Operation Prom Dress

Despite heavy rain that fell for most of the evening students danced, ate and mingled during the North Buncombe High prom at the Biltmore Estate's Deerpark restaurant on Friday, April 21, 2017. (Photo: Angeli Wright/awright@citizen-times.com)Buy Photo

Im trying to recall the purpose of proms. Except that I cant recall something I never knew. Talking to people my age, some have great memories of a fun night. Others dont remember much about it at all. Like me. However, I can tell you exactly how many problems were on the math test at the math competition that year. I suppose Im not prom material. Shockingly.

Young Williams is promming this year, so Im thinking about how proms are the same or different from when I went to one. (In the 1930s, he says.)

The ask. I dont remember anybody nervous about asking anybody to go. Going was cool. Who you went with wasnt a big deal. Again, maybe that was just clueless me. Now its called promposal and how you ask is part of the fun or the pressure. I read on Facebook about a local kid who stood in the yard of the girl he wanted to ask to the prom with his dog, which had a sign around its neck that said, Prom? Wow. Yes, a thousand times yes. Marry him. Im wondering, though, if a guy asks in some clever waydoes she need to answer in a clever way?She could bake him homemade soft pretzels and shape them in to the word Yes. Or if shes my daughter itll take her a full day to bake her response, Yes, but I have to be home by 1 a.m., even on very special nights, no matter what.

The flowers. I saw a pod of teens pre-prom dining and none of them had on corsages or boutonnieres. Too bad. I think most prom-goers still include flowers, but at my promthe flowers were essential. At some pointcorsages went from shoulder-area mini-bouquets to wristbands. I think the shoulder thing was a good idea. If dancing gets too close or raunchy, somebody is going to get stuck with one of those giant corsage pins.

Transportation. We had to figure out how to get to there. Most guys borrowed a parents car. Lots of students these days already have a car, so they borrow a parents nicer car for the prom. Bad news for Young Williams:The 2002 Camry youve been driving is our nicer car. The other car we have is a manual transmission Toyota Echo with a loud muffler that needs a paint job and has no AC or sign of any coming soon.

Pre-prom dining. Little packs of prom-goers pop up all over town this time of year. Some go to fine dining and others go to medium fine dining. I like the folks who have food incongruentwith formal wear. Like Waffle House or Chic-Fil-A, pronounced SHk-Fil-A on prom night. Theyre playing dress up, but not taking themselves too seriously.

The outfit. The men in my life keep telling me guys dont have outfits. And yet, teens seem to declare their same identity they have in daily clothes, but with the formal wear flare. Goths go goth prom and nerds go nerd prom. I dont know the cliques these days. I like the mix of traditional (tux) customized with (work boots) if thats their thing.

When I was discussing Young Williams tux with him, which was really me talking and him sitting somewhat politely, not listening. I asked if he would go with a vest or a cumberbund. There was cause to say cumberbund several times. Thats what James Bond wears, I pointed out. He told me to stop saying cumberbund, which I think is a fun word. He and I went through the same thing for his sports team uniform when I kept saying unitard. I cant help it. I enjoy both of those words. Im going to text him cumberbund right now. (Its technically cummerbund, but it doesnt matter because its been replaced by the more popular vest with a tux anyway.)

Getting ready. I recall girls taking the whole day off school to preen. I didnt. I didnt know an hours worth of things to do to get ready, much less a days worth. I couldnt find my photos from high school prom days when I looked for them. Just as well. I remember wearing a hat to one. Like a southern belle look or something, which was in-style then, I hope.

Behavior. Some parents offer post-prom activities safely at home. Good idea. Theres an expectation among some kids that the prom has to be etched, boundaries crossed. I never took illegal drugs or drank alcohol and, yet, I cant be proud of that because I simply was never tempted -- ever. Kind of like dogs, there are those who just walk outside with you and never wander far, no leash or fence needed. Others want to know where the fence is and they respect it. Then there are those who want to know about the fence so they can obsess about busting through it. Kids are made differently, period. It takes a village to get them through a safe prom. Feel free to have an eye on my kid, and Ill have an eye on yours.

I wonder how much longer proms will be around and if theyll eventually go the route of the senior class trip. Too much expense and too much liability. But until they fade away, enjoy. Dress up, wear flowers, eat out and dance. Revel in your carefree, mortgage-less youth.

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Nancy Williams: Following the strange evolution of 'promming' - Asheville Citizen-Times