My friends and I learned SO much more than we expected.
The vulva cloning party I recently hosted was not something Id ever expected to do, but Im so glad I did. It all started, like many things, with a twist of serendipity.
I taught my class, 'Mapping the Vulva: Anatomy, Communication, Touch and Pleasure' at SheBop a couple months ago, and a blogger from Clone-A-Willy was in the audience to write about the class. I knew she was there, but I never got to talk to her. A little while later I found thewrite-up, and it was fantastic.
As I read the article I realized that they could help me address an issue Id been struggling with how to make my vulva class as useful as possible to students when Im doing it without a live demo.
You see, sometimes when I do the class, I have someone up on a massage table and I demo the touch techniques Ive discussed. But at many venues, this isnt possible. So I demo on a fleshlightand sometimes a vulva puppet.
This does pretty well, and I still get great feedback on the demo portion of the class, but Im always looking for ways to improve.
One point that I stress in my classesis the wide variety of forms that genital anatomy can take. I showpictures to illustrate my point, but again, theres always room for improvement.
So I wrote to the Clone-A-Willy folks and asked if theyd send me some kits to use for making teaching models. That way Id be able to show a range of anatomy to my studentsand show demos on different body types. The Clone-A-Willy folks responded immediately and enthusiastically.
Before I knew it I had a box on my doorstepcontaining 6 complete kits and 6 extra bags of molding powder.
Next up was the rather odd task of going through my mental Rolodex of friends and partnersto figure out who to ask if they's be willing to allow me to clone their vulva.I wanted to be sure to find folks who have bodies you dont see as much of in the mainstream, such as people with larger inner labia, or a larger clitoris.
It turns out I have a pretty great group of friends andeveryone I talked to was enthusiastic about the idea. Several people even suggested other folks that might be a good fit.
What was born from these conversations, was what became my #PussyParty.
Although the cloning certainly didnt have to be a group activity, it seemed a lot more fun to do it that way. So I set a date, sent some invites, and planned snacks.
I also told the internet to follow along. Because why not.
The evening started with a just a couple of friends and we had a while to chat. Later, more people showed up, and soon I had six guests in my small living room, all ready for an adventure.
We talked for another hour at least before any cloning started. And we read the directions and reviews online.
Finally, I made the first attempt. Despite the strange feeling of the casting material on my genitals, the mold didnt take. The casting power had clearly set before it ever touched me. As the night went on, it was a comedy of errors. The next several attempts were the same, with no impressions being made.
But as it turned out, that didnt matter much.
We had a room full of women talking and sharing about their bodiesand having a marvelous time.
We got to hear about one woman whod had a labiaplasty as a teenager. We got to hear about one womans particularly sensitive clitoris. And we got to hear about another womans difficulty reaching orgasm.
The Clone-A-Pussy activity was facilitating conversations about bodies and sexuality that rarely happen, and that was the real value of the night.But, we were also a very determined bunch. I was amazed by how committed everyone was to the task at hand. So many of my own hostessing anxieties were quelled by seeing what a good time people were having. We spent a solid three hours just working on making molds.
That extra casting powder came in very handy as each of the 7 of us tried a cast, and then two people made second attempts.
Top two above = duds. Bottom two = the two best (filled with silicone).
Between each attempt, we all brainstormed about what had worked and what hadntand formed a plan for the next try. It was like the best science project that ever happened.
(If only I could have taken this to my high school science fair!)
We tried varying the temperature of the water and varying the mixing time. We tried several different positions.
Ultimately, we came up with two casts that we decided were worthy of silicone.
The silicone had its own challenges. Because the mold presses flush against the body, there isnt any extra space for the silicone, so the finished product is pretty thin. I also wish there was a bit more silicone in each kit for one of the casts I had to use the silicone from two kits. I also used duct tape to build a lip around one of the moldsto try for a sturdier result.
The two finished products are a lot of fun.
But theyre almost beside the point.
What I was most excited about is how this tool facilitated a long evening of exploration, silliness, and body positivity.
I hope everyone decides to host their own #PussyParty!
Sex educator Stella Harris draws from her own passion and life experiences, as well her my professional training, to provide her clients with an expert, grounded, outside perspective. Her work focuses on helping people who feel insecure about their sex lives become more confident and able to get what they want.
This article was originally published at Stella Harris. Reprinted with permission from the author.
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Here's What Happened When I Threw A Vulva-Cloning Party - YourTango
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