Golden Rule of Chaplaincy: Thy Shoes Matter – Boston.com

Think of a chaplain, and the quirky character of Father Mulcahy from the beloved TV show M*A*S*H might come to mind. But while chaplain Alyssa Adreani of Newton Wellesley Hospital likes to laugh at this image, as a female multi-faith cleric, shes far from the typical male stereotype. As Adreani, 41, likes to point out, she isnt just hanging out in the hospital chapel and doesnt wear a collar or a cross. Instead, as she makes the rounds from the NICU, oncology, ICU, orthopedics, and medical/surgical units, she follows her own Golden Rule of chaplaincy, which is: Wear comfortable shoes. The Globe spoke with Adreani about how hospital chaplains are considered part of the treatment team, even improving health outcomes.

Early on in my training, I would get questions like, Are you a priest? A nun? I would get flustered but then realized that people are curious. Then they would say, You dont look like a chaplain, to which I would reply, What does a chaplain look like? I did learn the hard way not to wear a black suit to work; I once wore one and the patient saw me and turned white, as if I was preparing for their death bed.

To become a board certified chaplain requires a rigorous preparation process that includes 1,600 hours of clinical training and ministry. One of my first days of my internship, I walked into a patient room, and she was crying, and said, Why is God punishing me? I got thrown into the deep end right away on that one.

Lifes most significant events regularly occur in the hospital. I do deal mostly with death, illness or decline, but I also visit the maternity units as well. It is an incredible blessing to see both ends of the spectrum. Chaplains really do see birth, death, and everything in between. Im really lucky to work at a hospital where spiritual care is valued. That said, people may misunderstand what a chaplain does or does not do. For example, patients may worry that a chaplain will judge them or try to convert them thats definitely not what we are about. We also, unfortunately, cant perform miracles.

I cant assume anything when I walk into a room and see a person for the first time. People surprise me everyday the way in which people experience and practice their faith and spirituality is amazing. Everyone has a story it is my privilege to listen to it. A lot of patients or families find it helpful to talk to a neutral party. They may just need to vent, to think out loud, to process something. They may want to hold a hand and pray or they may just want someone to sit with them to bear witness to the life that is passing. Some of my most memorable experiences have been really tough watching a young mom die; blessing a deceased toddler; holding a stillborn infant. These are excruciatingly difficult and a constant reminder of lifes fragility. There are definitely hard days, days when I am horrified by how unfair and unpredictable life can be.

Being a chaplain has given me a deep thirst for life I dont want to let it pass me by. I want to do everything I can run up mountains, travel, go skydiving, learn a new language. Im a runner, and being a chaplain hasnt made me run faster, but its made me appreciate running more. When I run, I pray for my patients, the staff, and others. I think about those who cant run. I run a little further for them.

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Golden Rule of Chaplaincy: Thy Shoes Matter - Boston.com