Dealing with the daily stupid & something stupid happens daily Terry Plutos Faith & You – cleveland.com

CLEVELAND, Ohio I had a problem with my cable service. I called the 800-number. I waited on hold.

And waited...

And waited...

I listened to same stupid music broken up by your call is very important to us, please hold the line. About the 12th time I heard that phrase, I mumbled, Liar!

Finally, someone answered the phone. The person was in a call center. I explained my problem. English was not a comfortable language for the person. He said he needed to transfer me to someone else, adding please hold on...

I heard a click...

The line went dead.

Welcome to the daily stupid.

ONLY ONE SHOE?

I have a friend who works at a large department store. About everyone there has at least one daily stupid, perhaps every hour.

One day, a man who smelled as if hed slept in a keg of Coors stumbled into the shoe department demanding, Wheres the beer?

Sir, this is the shoe department, my friend said.

Wheres the BEER? he demanded.

Over there, she said pointing, toward the door. He staggered off, grumbling about lousy service.

My friend often finds old, dirty shoes in the aisles. She knows someone changed into new shoes, walked out the door, leaving the old ones behind.

But one day, she found only one old shoe. It appeared the person stole only one new shoe, leaving the other new shoe still in the box with the old one in the aisle.

Of course, that led to a special cleanup job, and taking the one new shoe off the shelf, etc. When youre in a store and take clothes off the rack, shoes out of the box, then dump them elsewhere someone else does have to pick them up.

Put the stuff back on the rack and save someone else from a daily stupid.

HOW WILL WE REACT?

We cant let the daily stupid ruin our day, said Jonathan Schaeffer, pastor of Grace Church in Middleburg Heights.

It may sound minor, but little things can become big things if we dwell on them. Dealing with a rude customer can lead us to have an edge in our voice when the next customer shows up.

Something a self-absorbed relative said can stick with us a two minute talk lasting two hours. An ugly email or text can keep us up at night even though we know the person was thoughtless and just venting.

Consider the source, wrote Dr. Ellen Hendriksen in Psychology Today. Would you be as likely to drink water from a mountain spring as from a puddle under a dumpster of course not...The source matters. The same thing goes for criticism. Does the critique come from someone you like and respect...or is this someone known to shoot off their mouth, having all the subtlety of a sledgehammer?

I was talking to someone recently about my mental daily stupid box. When Im mugged with a daily stupid, I dump in the box and lock it. I dont need to go back and look at it.

IT FEELS PERSONAL

A question worth asking is, Am I looking to be offended.

I called the cable company back. This time, the company offered a chance for me leave my number and they promised to call back in 28-to-34 minutes.

I wondered how they came up with that math, but I left my number not expecting a call back in this decade. About 40 minutes later, someone called. The person was polite. I took a deep breath, slowly and politely explaining my situation. She helped me change my service plan.

Schaeffer and his wife Mary both were on the line when we talked about the daily stupid. Mary mentioned this: Give the assumption of positive intent.

Who said that? I asked.

My mother-in-law, Jamie Norton, said Schaeffer.

Is she a psychologist? I asked.

A counselor, said Mary.

OK, a professional. Its fair point. The guy who cut me off perhaps just hit the wrong button or his phone malfunctioned. Ive done the same thing. Not everyone who messes up is out to get you even when it feels that way.

Hendriksen also wrote: If we can hear fair criticism of our actions without taking it personally, not only do we escape feeling hurt or shamed, we also keep criticism from escalating. By contrast, if we think, You hurt my feelings, so Ill hurt you back, we create more conflict and pain all around.

HOW DO WE VIEW OTHERS?

You can simply write off the conflict as someone having a bad day. Or sometimes, I just tell myself, The guy is a jerk, dont play his game.

Instead, we want to settle the score, hurt them them back an eye-for-an-eye.

But as Mahatma Gandhi said: An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

Loud arguments can make us blind to the reality. Sometimes, the person is having a bad day and needs some grace just as we do in the same situation.

In stores, Ive learned to tell a weary even grumpy clerk, Looks like a long day. That usually brings a smile a sense of relief because the clerk believes someone sees her as a person.

Schaeffer cited Matthew 9:36-37: When Jesus saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.

Many people now are raised without a strong home life. Manners arent stressed. Interactions on media are rude. Personal attacks common.Others are walking volcanos, looking for a reason to erupt.

Schaeffer mentioned how it helps for us to try and think of the other people involved. What are they dealing with? Its especially true in this age of fewer people working and those on the job having to do more than they ever have before.

As Jesus said in Luke 6:31 (Also known as the Golden Rule): Treat others as you would want to be treated.

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Dealing with the daily stupid & something stupid happens daily Terry Plutos Faith & You - cleveland.com