Bullet Train takes Brad Pitt for a ride before it goes off the rails – The A.V. Club

The Wolf (Bad Bunny) and Ladybug (Brad Pitt) square off in Bullet Train.Photo: Sony Pictures

A constant social media refrain asks if certain older movies could still be made today based on elements like cost, logistics, politically incorrect content, or a filmmakers formula-defying creative process. Bullet Train begs the question of whether movies inspired by those filmmakers should even be attempted today, unless theyre being done by the original directors themselves.

Bullet Train filmmaker David Leitch may fancy himself a spiritual descendant of Quentin Tarantino and Guy Ritchie, who established their distinctive styles decades before Ktar Isakas acclaimednovel of the same name was published in 2010. But Leitchs talky, violent hit man movie, with Brad Pitt at the center of an over-cranked ensemble cast, reminds us why Hollywood has all but abandoned attempts to copy the successes of Tarantino and Ritchie. This film is not just bloated, tedious, dim-witted, and glib, its also redundant.

Sandra Bullock

Maria Beetle

Trained killer Ladybug wants to give up the life but is pulled back in by his handler Maria Beetle in order to collect a briefcase on a bullet train heading from Tokyo to Morioka. On board are fellow assasins Kimura, the Prince, Tangerine, and Lemon. Once on board the five assasins discover that their objectives are all connected.

Pitt plays Ladybug, a former hitman hired by his longtime handler Maria (Sandra Bullock, returning a favor after Pitts appearance in The Lost City) to steal a briefcase full of cash from active hitmen Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) and Lemon (Brian Tyree Henry). Despite Marias assurances about the simplicity of the job, Ladybug quickly encounters opposition not only from Tangerine and the Thomas The Tank Engine-obsessed Lemon, but also The Prince (Joey King), a conniving Brit posing as a schoolgirl; Yuichi Kimura (Andrew Koji), an anguished Japanese father seeking vengeance after his son was pushed off of a roof; Hornet (Zazie Beetz), an assassin with her own designs on the briefcase, and other targets to execute; and The Wolf (Benito A Martinez Ocasio aka Bad Bunny), a Mexican cartel member who came to Japan after the death of his wife, for which he blames the luckless Ladybug.

Ladybug must not only defeat these foes, but figure out what events put all of them in his path. This leads to a variety of flashbacks, subplots, surprises, and secret motives, which Leitch and screenwriter Zak Olkewicz (Fear Street: Part Two1978) shuffle with little regard for pacing or the basic logistics of the films setting: how long exactly does it take for a high-speed train to travel from Tokyo to Kyoto (it was Morioka in Isakas novel)? A quick Google search indicates that the trip lasts about two hours and 15 minutes, but for some reason, this train runs all nightmaking Ladybugs escalating gauntlet feel more like a meandering travelogue through the characters one-dimensional personalities.

The muscular, charming energy that Leitch brought to set pieces and fight sequences in Hobbs & Shaw extends past the tipping point of improbability here, with a train thats full of passengers at times and empty others, without any real explanation. There are stabbings, poisonings, gunshots, snake attacks, hand-broken windshields, explosions, derailings, and more, and the only person who seems to notice is a little old lady who wishes Ladybug and Lemon would be quieter while they beat each other senseless.

As a conflict-averse assassin, Ladybugs efforts to resolve each new confrontation runs out of gas, especially since Pitt has played some version of a capable dope with more words than brains since at least The Mexican. Watching the actor have fun on screen should actually be fun, but here it feels like hes dragging the train along, instead of effortlessly riding it. Meanwhile as Lemon, Henrys obsession with Thomas & Friends is like a remnant of the era in which Tarantino spiced up Crimson Tide with monologues about the Silver Surfer. And the result here is just as obnoxious as it was watching Tarantino rant about Top Gun when he appeared in Sleep With Me. And even though Taylor-Johnson tapped into a surprisingly appealing persona when he adopted a working-class Cockney accent for a supporting role in Christopher Nolans Tenet, he repeats himself here and reduces his charm to sub-Guy Ritchie levels.

The less said about the rest of the cast the better, although Koji and the always stellar Hiroyuki Sanada desperately fight to inject dignity into the story of their familys multi-generational betrayals and misjudgments. But Leitch and Olkewicz feebly draw out those themes across the myriad conflicts and saddle these performers with those topics in an act of misjudged authenticity. Controversies over a mostly English-language adaptation of a Japanese novel notwithstandingwhich Isaka himself has largely dismissedwhat proves to be more offensive is the films unskilled attempt to inject seriousness into what should have been a cheeky summer distraction. Its fine for a movie about a bunch of competing killers to itself place no value on human life, and even to joyfully indulge in that kind of nihilism, but the way the filmmakers inject a sense of pathos feels about as earnest and meaningful as an airport gift shop souvenir before the flight home from some far-flung foreign country.

That said, whether or not Isaka started with an adequate level of originality on the page, this kind of story occupies a place thats simply too well-defined on screen. Especially when its anchored by an equally familiar performance by Pitt, whose movie stardom has been amplified by the talents of filmmakers like Tarantino and Ritchie, but doesnt always generate enough wattage to juice up a lackluster project on its own.

Ultimately, Bullet Train aims to be slick when it needs to be smart, and predictable when it should be provocativeeffectively making all of the wrong stops at exactly the wrong time. The problem isnt that Leitch doesnt have the talent to pull off a film like this, but that he doesnt have the personality. Rather, he possesses the proficiency to be a contemporary studio journeymanas long as he chooses the right journey.

Read this article:
Bullet Train takes Brad Pitt for a ride before it goes off the rails - The A.V. Club