A father’s influence instills sense of connection on Juneteenth – Tallahassee Democrat

Rev. Candace McKibben| Guest columnist

My sweet daddy was born the last of 10 children on a farm in Baxley, Georgia. His older siblings were quite a bit older, and some of his playmates were their children, Daddys nieces and nephews.

His older brother, Harvey, worked in the turpentine business with the help of tenant workers whose children were also his playmates and who kept an eye on little Billy. My understanding is after a hard days work, these tenant workers played checkers on the porches of their modest homes in the evening.

Things to do: Watermelon, barbecue, Lee Boys and Lure of Fishing on tap

Sense of purpose: Purpose and sense of destiny roll in with the waves at Destin Beach | Tompkins

Whenever my daddy, Billy, went missing in the evening, he was sure to be found on a porch playing checkers. My mother said it was what made him such a strategic player.

Daddy was hard to beat at checkers, but that is a small prize compared to the other important lessons and values he learned growing up among children who were different in color but the same in so many other respects. They liked playing stick ball and the freedom of roaming the nearby fields exploring and pretending, as children at play often do.

My daddys own father died when he was only 2, but he did not lack for fatherly figures as his evening checker partners were patient and kind enough to help him learn the game, and his older brother, Harvey, took on the role of Dad.

This year, Fathers Day and Juneteenth, also known as Emancipation Day or the Day of Freedom, fall on the same day. Juneteenth is both somber and celebratory as it commemorates the Thirteenth Amendment, abolishing slavery.

It was first observed in Galveston, Texas, on June 19, 1866, a year after the day the last African American slaves in our country who were residing in Galveston learned of their freedom that had been won the year prior as the Thirteenth Amendment was ratified. On Dec.6, 1865, the required 27 votes of the then 36 states came when Georgia agreed to ratify.

Though long celebrated in Black communities, Juneteenth has been gaining a wider audience and was declared a National Holiday in 2021.

What I have heard of my own family story is that my Uncle Harvey was a kind boss to his tenant workers. He helped many of them acquire birth certificates, giving some of them full names and birthdates, so that they could apply for Social Security.

But writing these words feels deeply sad, that 70-plus years after so-called freedom, these tenant farmers were still in so many ways beholden to the boss, as kind as he may have been. Sadder still that today, some 157 years after so-called freedom, we are still working at offering liberty and justice to all.

As I think of my sweet daddy this Fathers Day, my sadness is tempered by gratitude for the tenant workers who were kind to him, treating him like one of their own young ones. I love the thought of daddy playing with their children and each learning from the other that we are so much more alike than different.

Recently, we visited the boyhood farm of Jimmy Carter in Plains, Georgia. The National Park Service has done a remarkable job of restoring the house and its outbuildings to a pre-1938 condition, including two tenant houses. Carter was born four years before my father and lived in the same neck of the woods, so I wonder if the tenant homes on Carters boyhood farm were anything like the ones where my father played checkers.

I imagine that the connection that Jimmy Carter felt to one tenant family, Rachel and Jack Clark, might resemble the connection my father felt years ago. On the tour of his boyhood farm, you can hear recordings of Jimmy Carters voice as your guide.

He says in one of the tenant houses recordings, that his parents left him in the care of the Clark family on some occasions and it was his joy to be with them. He attributes their hospitality towards him with his own deep conviction that all people matter. They always made me feel like I belonged, he said of staying with them while his parents were away.

Human research tells us belonging matters greatly. It is what we all long for, and the absence of love and belonging creates suffering.

Belonging is not about fitting in as vulnerability and shame researcher Dr. Brene Brown writes. It is about believing in inextricable human connection.

She has found in her research of our current climate that we are less diverse in our human connections than ever before, but more lonely. Perhaps this is because we have sorted ourselves based on our disdain of others rather than our intrinsic human connection with all people.

Capital City Culture Community Outreach, a nonprofit program founded to educate different cultures about each others heritage while encouraging local youth to become strong leaders, is hosting Juneteenth Empowerment Day at Cascade Park in downtown Tallahassee on Saturday, June 18, from noon to 6 p.m. This free event hosts 10 food and 100 retail vendors, live music, and speakers.

Attending provides an opportunity to commemorate the abolition of slavery in the American South and to learn more about African American culture.

A college student says of Juneteenth, Take the time to learn about what we went through as a culture and a race, so you can see where our pain is coming from when certain events happen in America and why we feel the way we feel.

It is an invitation to embrace our inextricable human connection in all its rich diversity.

This Fathers Day, I am grateful for the ways in which my daddys upbringing afforded him the opportunity to experience diverse human kindness and connection early. I know that his positive regard for all people had a profound impact on me.

I pray that all fathers and father figures will realize the influence they have on their children and sow seeds of kindness and love. Happy Fathers Day.

What: Capital City Culture Community Outreach, a nonprofit program founded to educate different cultures about each others heritage while encouraging local youth to become strong leaders, is hosting Juneteenth Empowerment Day

When: noon-6 p.m. Saturday

Where: Cascades Park in downtown Tallahassee.This free event hosts 10 food and 100 retail vendors, live music, and speakers

Never miss a story: Subscribe to the Tallahassee Democrat using the link at the top of the page.

Link:

A father's influence instills sense of connection on Juneteenth - Tallahassee Democrat