SATIRE | Penn State to remove College of the Liberal Arts – The Daily Collegian Online

Students are shocked with Penn States recent announcement that the College of the Liberal Arts will be permanently removed from the university.

Majors within the college will also no longer be offered to undergraduate students. In a letter announcing the change, Penn State President Eric Barron said, We [Penn State] dont need no education, we dont need no thought control.

Barron continued to elaborate on his decision in the letter and said, The university is tired of pretending that higher education is really a pursuit of knowledge or growing as a person. We believe that a Penn State education is a product meant to be bought and sold to the highest bidder, thus we decided to eliminate all majors that we believe will not become significant financial donors as alums.

This decision comes on the heels of Penn States decision to raise tuition 300%.

April fools!

Bro its just a prank, bro. If you could see the look on your face right now, because I cant. My columns are typically about serious subjects and methodically researched, but in honor of April Fools Day, I decided to keep it light.

As the official fool of The Daily Collegian, I was asked to address my communitys national holiday. I believe Its important for us to play some practical jokes and just have some fun.

These days though, who can really tell the difference between fact and fiction? With the creation of the internet and the subsequent invention of lying, were living in what I once called a post-truth age.

You cant trust anyone or anything anymore only yourself because youre never wrong.

Just look at the all the cleary false headlines the Collegian has decided to publish such as Coronavirus is creating a need to expand the Ancient Greek alphabet, or Ball State in danger of losing its famed mascot, the Fighting Balls or Scientists discover a cure for dumbass, dumbasses wont get vaccine.

The fact that such a prestigious student newspaper continues to publish this smut is an indictment on all of us and our current climate of media illiteracy.

It seems like every day is April Fools Day. Can you tell which headline is real between these two: O.J. Simpson Says He Had More Restraint Than Will Smith on Comedians' Jokes or 3 cats have outmaneuvered their 2 humans to hold a blender hostage for weeks.

The answer: Theyre both real. Anything I make up cant compete with those two articles.

The beauty of April Fools Day is it celebrates the two things everyone does every other day of the year: lying and gaining joy from embarrassing other people. Its why Im a media figure, not a journalist.

My allegiance is to creating content, not truth. As anyone whos ever read my Twitter bio knows, lies are a good thing. Thus, I believe it's imperative for all of us to lie not only to others but also to ourselves so that the good work of April Fool may extend through all of the days of the year.

Maybe the real fool was inside each and every one of us all along.

If you're interested in submitting a Letter to the Editor, click here.

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SATIRE | Penn State to remove College of the Liberal Arts - The Daily Collegian Online