In Focus: The rise of the female gambling addicts – Metro.co.uk

I felt like Id become two people the Tracy who was gambling and the Tracy who was trying to cover it up. It was like having a split personality.

Tracy Galvin, who lives in Essex, was introduced to gambling at the age of 17, when she would play the slot machines, after finishing a shift in the bingo hall she worked in.

What she didnt realise back then was that something that began as harmless fun would come to take over her life.

It started small, Tracy, 58, explains. And it just got worse and worse.

The mum of one experienced her first big win one night after she finished work, when she won 250 a moment she recalls as a turning point.

From there, things escalated and the slot machines quickly became something that she would turn to for escape and comfort. She describes gambling, and the distraction that it created, to fill a void in her life and as a way of dealing with difficult things she had going on.

But it became so much more than that. It was on my mind constantly and it got to the point I felt like an outsider looking in on my life, she says. I was a shell of myself.

Tracy is one of a huge number of women who are classed as problem gamblers and its a figure thats growing.

The gambling landscape has significantly shifted and evolved in the past decade or so, mostly due to the rise of accessibility and availability of online gambling, Zoe Osmond, chief executive of GambleAware, told Metro.co.uk.

The number of women gambling online has risen by over 50% over the past four years, she continues. This is almost double the growth rate of men over the same period of time.

And with the latest data showing that up to one million women may be at risk of experiencing some sort of harm as a result of gambling be it financial, emotional, or in terms of impacting their relationships with loved ones and leading to isolation its critical we drive awareness around early warning signs, such as losing track of time, spending too much, or a tendency to hide gambling from others.

Tracy found herself guilty of all three of these. For decades, she spent every spare minute on the slots and was unable to confide in anyone about the extent of her addiction. Emotionally, this was incredibly difficult.

Ive had two nervous breakdowns as I just wasnt able to cope with it all, she tells Metro.co.uk. And financially, I have lived a life of robbing Peter to pay Paul.

Tracy was working three jobs in order to fund her habit, leaving the house at 7am and getting home at 1am. In between, all she could think about was gambling.

At the age of 40, I had seven strokes, and spent a year in hospital. I fully believe that this was caused by the emotional damage it was doing.

Physically it nearly killed me, she says. I was lucky not to lose my life, but I lost the most important thing: Time.

After reaching breaking point, Tracy finally went to her first support group. She found that she was the only woman, out of over 50 attendees.

For her,this is part of the problem: Female gamblers feel more shame than men and are often more reluctant to ask for help. Women are seen to be the nurturer, the homemaker, she says. We have to be the strong ones.

Since then, Tracy has worked on her recovery, with the help of organisations including Gordon Moody a charity dedicated to providing support and treatment for gambling addiction.

She successfully obtained a degree in social sciences and recently qualified as an addiction counsellor, as well as supporting others during peer support meetings.

Despite this, Tracy still speaks carefully and with emotion about her addiction, stressing that just because youve stopped, youre not an ex-gambler. Its something that stays with you forever, she says.

The increase in female gamblers has been on the rise for some time and is likely a result of a few different factors, explains Osmond.

Since the pandemic, for example, we have seen the rate of growth in online gambling almost triple (36% between 2019-2021, compared to 13% between 2017-2019), with some turning to gambling apps whilst feeling isolated and anxious.

We also know part of the problem is likely driven by the accessibility of it; its on our laptops and our phones, therefore within touching distance at all times. And its easy to hide a screen.

Many women are drawn to online gambling, such as bingo or casino games, as the games are often perceived as more innocent and familiar. They appear very similar to the seemingly innocuous digital games were used to playing on our phones and, in a similar way, become a form of escapism.

And, according to GambleAware, women are exposed to a higher number of gambling adverts than men.

A recent report discovered that much of this promotion is found to be especially targeted at women, tending to portray gambling as innocent social fun and for lotteries, as a national pastime, for people like us, or about supporting communities.

This is something that Bev, from Newcastle-upon-Tyne is all too familiar with.

She was on her laptop one night, pottering around doing unrelated tasks, when an advert popped up, inviting her to play online bingo.

At that point, Bev had never gambled before. But the advert was colourful, shiny, and it looked like a bit of harmless fun, and so, without giving it much thought, she decided to deposit a ten pound bet.

Bev didnt win anything that first time. But she decided to have another go. And then another. Very quickly, she won 800 and couldnt believe her luck.

Id never won anything in my life, she tells Metro.co.uk. But it seemed so easy and, so, I decided to keep playing.

Very quickly, Bev lost the 800 and found herself trying to win it back. And then again. And again, as she lost more and more money.

This would be the start of a 10 year battle with an addiction that, ultimately, would lead to her attempting to take her own life.

Bev found herself placing more and more bets, until she was playing constantly, spending every spare minute and penny gambling online.

I had a good job and I was making around 2,200 after tax sometimes more. But at the end of every month, I would find myself sitting up until midnight on payday, so Id see my wages go in. Id blow the whole lot that night.

Over the years, the amount is staggering. The NHS employee estimates that shes gambled hundreds of thousands in total. I had a hundred grand in credit card debt alone, never mind all the loans from friends and family, she says.

Bev is married with a daughter. At home, she was spending all her time on the computer, but they had no idea what she was doing. She describes making sure she always had her screen facing away from her family, often finding herself sitting in the same room as them, betting hundreds of pounds at a time, with them none the wiser.

Eventually, she ran out of sources for money she, and by default her husband, were up to their eyes in debt. Bev was in charge of the bills they werent getting paid and things got to the point where she had to ask for help.

Initially, nobody could believe it. But, with the help of her husband and sister, the family made a plan to pay back the money that was owed. Everyone including Bev thought that would be it. Now that shed come clean, surely she would stop. But it wasnt as easy as that.

Bev tried several times to give up, but the sites kept enticing her back in.

She was depositing so much money hundreds at a time that she became known as a VIP. This meant that, when she hadnt played for a few days, she would start getting emails offering her free money to get extra plays sometimes to the value of hundreds of pounds.

Then you cant say no to that, she says. Its an awful, predatory tactic.

This is a huge part of the problem, she says, these sites do their utmost to lure new users in, and to keep bringing old ones back. Often, at great financial cost.

Not long after opening up to her family, Bev found herself taking out more secret payday loans, and defaulting on bill payments again. However, the impact wasnt all financial for Bev as it rarely is.

Gambling in secret took a massive toll on her mental health, her physical health, and her relationships. Bevs marriage started to suffer, with her husband on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

Then, on Christmas day 2016, it all came to a head. Bev decided to put a bet on. My logic at the time was, surely they wont let you lose at Christmas? she says.

Within 45 minutes I emptied my husbands account and blew 5,000.

I then took an overdose. That night was when I realised I couldnt carry on like this anymore. I just didnt want to be alive anymore.

Bev finally sought help after her sister scoured the internet for advice and came across a charity that specialised in supporting those with gambling addictions. Its now been three years since Bev placed her last bet.

She believes that there needs to be more regulation and a duty of care within the industry.

If affordability checks had been carried out like they are if youre getting a loan 99% of problem gamblers probably wouldnt be allowed to play, she suggests. But I was just allowed to continue to deposit and deposit and deposit.

To anyone struggling, I want to say that there is help out there. I am living proof.

But, with huge stigmas and shame attached to gambling, it can be hard to ask for help.

Its often dubbed the hidden addiction, with recent GambleAware data showing that more than half (59%) of people stated they felt society is judgemental towards those who struggle to stay in control of their gambling.

And this can be even worse for women with almost two in five (38%) people agreeing that society is more critical of womens gambling.

But its important to remember that there is not a stereotypical problem gambler it affects people of all ages, from all walks of life.

Liz Karter, MBE is a gambling addiction counsellor and psychotherapist with over 22 years experience supporting women. She has also published three books on the topic of gambling, addiction and women.

Over the last two decades, Liz has seen it all and not only has she noticed the rise in female gamblers, shes seen diversification in her clients.

I run womens groups which are pro-bono as well as a private practice and I would say that 50% of the women I treat are from a more typically middle class, affluent background, she says.

These are women with high-flying jobs, and people who from the outside look as though theyve got it all.

Its not true that people who are less knowledgeable about how to manage money are more susceptible. Lots of the women I treat are from financial backgrounds. I also see doctors, accountants, lawyers. Mainly, its driven by escapism.

These women, she says, are the unheard voices and they are even more reluctant to come forward for help. But there are many.

Liz stresses that shes seen people lose everything. Ive seen women lose their homes, their marriages, their lifes savings and in some really sad cases Ive seen women lose their children, she says. You name a figure, Ive seen it.

But its not just about trying to win money, explains Liz. Gambling addictions are often a result of people trying to fill a void, or distract themselves from other problems.

Its very much tied to the stress that women are under these days, trying to do it all, she says. Women with too much responsibility and not enough support.

Gambling can be meditative, she continues. Youre in that world so, temporarily, it puts to sleep other anxious thoughts.

However, after a while any excitement over initial wins subsides as they get deeper into it, before they find themselves in a pit of despair.

Jemima*, aged 35, started gambling after becoming a young mum.

Her ex-husband was an alcoholic, drinking every day. Jemima felt that it wasnt safe to leave her son in his care, and was therefore unable to leave the house.

However, feeling ashamed of her situation, she didnt ever confide in anyone. She was lonely and one night online, she decided to try bingo.

For Jemima, it was a form of escapism and it also became a replacement for the social life that she was sorely missing.

At the beginning it was fun, she admits. You had a chat forum where you could talk to other people who were playing. It was like a network of friends, and it felt like an alternative to a night out.

However, struggling to cope with the loneliness and difficulties of her life, Jemima soon found herself gambling constantly and obsessively.

I got to the point where I was then logging on at night, and before I knew it, Id hear birds singing outside and realise that Id been playing all night.

What started out as 10 or 20 bets gradually became deposits of up to 600 at a time. In the end, she estimates that she gambled well over 100,000.

It didnt even feel like real money, it just felt like a number on a screen, she admits.

Jemima says her life had deteriorated before her eyes.

Everyday I was digging a deeper and deeper hole, she remembers. I could have been in a room with 100 people and I would have felt so alone because I couldnt tell anyone how I was feeling or what I had going on. I was dead inside.

Thats when I turned to crime to fund that gambling habit.

Desperate for more money to feed her addiction, Jemima committed fraud, illegally accessing and spending money from a friends bank account. Realising what had happened, her friend then reported the fraudulent activity to the police.

When Jemima found this out, she turned herself in. She knew shed go to jail for what shed done, yet it felt like a relief as it meant that everything would be out in the open and it would force her to stop.

After ten months on bail, which Jemima used to try and sort out some of her debt and make sure her son would be ok, she served a total of nine months in custody, and four months on a tag.

Upon her release, she got help from charity Bet Know More UK, who she says were pivotal in getting her life back on track. After volunteering with them, she was offered a job and now uses her experience to help others.

She agrees that the stigma is much worse for women, making it harder to ask for help.

I think gambling is seen as more typically male, she says. We often think of betting shops and casinos. And, in the glamorous casino scenario we think of the woman being there on the arm, rather than being the ones gambling.

I didnt feel able to turn to anyone and admit the mess Id got myself into I felt so ashamed.

Research from GambleAware has found that womens experience of gambling differs from men.

Stigma, such as feeling ashamed or embarrassed in particular play a huge role, both in women recognising that they may be experiencing harm, but also in feeling secure and empowered to seek help without being judged, explains Osmond.

The charity has also found that women experience gambling very differently to men, all the way from their initial motivation through to how they experience harms and how they might seek treatment.

We also know that women are more likely than men to say their gambling has caused them mental health issues such as stress and anxiety, adds Osmond.

Following their gambling addiction, Tracy, Bev and Jemima have all received help, and all have turned their lives around, coming back from rock bottom.

They each wanted to stress that help is out there for people who are struggling, or who think they might have a problem.

Dont be embarrassed or ashamed, you are not alone, says Jemima.

We need to break that stigma. It doesnt make you less of a mum, sister, daughter, or person youre still you.

The more women that come forward, the more we normalise asking for help. I want people to know that you can get your life back, like I did.

Do you have a story youd like to share? Get in touch by emailing Claie.Wilson@metro.co.uk

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In Focus: The rise of the female gambling addicts - Metro.co.uk