Kafer: When Do you want ketchup with those fries? becomes the law – The Denver Post

House Bill 1134 is Exhibit A of why the Colorado General Assembly should adjourn earlier, much earlier. The bill isnt just one of those solutions-seeking-real-problems proposals that proliferate the docket; it is illustrative of a flawed governing philosophy that is as pernicious as it is seductive.

The legislation forbids restaurants to give customers plastic tableware or condiment packets without first obtaining their express permission. It contains six pages of detail differentiating the types of restaurants that must get permission to give away a napkin and which may give a fork sans permission. It determines who can proffer a lid to avoid spillage and who must first inquire of desire for said lid. It defines exactly which utensils and condiment packets are covered, omitting only pickle relish perhaps from oversight. The bill even provides a definition for spill plug, the plastic thingy in the coffee lid. Its also called a splash stick. Who knew?

The only ambiguity is the enforcement mechanism which presumably will be added in a committee hearing on the bill. Will there be fines for transgression? Which agencies will ferret out malefactors secretly slipping unsolicited straws at the drive-through? As if theres not enough real crime happening to keep law enforcement occupied right now, they wouldnt mind organizing a statewide sting: Operation Unsought Spork coming to an unsuspecting takeout counter near you.

The lawmakers spearheading this silly little bill must think restaurants are foisting unwanted sugar packets, plastic spoons, and splash sticks onto customers too weak-willed to refuse them. These products are filling up kitchen drawers, glove compartments, and landfills everywhere. The government therefore must intervene and rescue us from ourselves.

Over the past century, this government-must-help-us philosophy has become ascendant. If something is deemed desirable, the government must promote it, subsidize it, and even provide it free at taxpayer expense to all comers. If something is deemed undesirable, the government must regulate it, tax it, curtail it, or ban it. Its not just a philosophy of the left. Corporate and farm subsidies enjoy strong bipartisan support.

Congressmen and congresswomen of both parties seek to regulate social media tech companies for the sake of individuals who voluntarily use the services. Examples of paternalistic government displacing personal responsibility are too numerous to recount within this space. The fact that lawmakers here in Colorado are targeting soy sauce packets demonstrates there is no limiting principle to this government-to-the-rescue impulse.

Since outright bans tend to provoke a backlash among voters, as these same lawmakers will no doubt experience when their plastic bag ban goes into effect in 2024, politicians are discovering ways to manipulate their subjects, I mean constituents, in less noticeable ways. Its called altering the choice architecture to advantage certain choices over others.

In this case, customers can still get packets of strawberry jam, they just have to ask for them. Customers will be better off without a drawer full of plastic, restaurants will save money, and landfills will be a tiny, tiny bit less full of waste. Best of all, politicians show they care about the environment and are solution-oriented.

In this way, the enlightened can nudge the hoi polloi to do better without actually resorting to more draconian means that elicit resentment like when customers discover they cant get a plastic bag for that greasy rotisserie chicken. Some call this manipulation paternalistic libertarianism, but if they were honest, theyd leave off the noun. Theres nothing libertarian about using the full force of law to compel restaurants to ask customers if they want a straw with that.

Ostensibly free citizens can figure that tricky transaction out by themselves.

Krista L. Kafer is a weekly Denver Post columnist. Follow her on Twitter: @kristakafer.

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Kafer: When Do you want ketchup with those fries? becomes the law - The Denver Post