Daily Archives: April 20, 2023

She described her past year as a member of the Royal Family as hard and really challenging.

Look, any woman especially when they are pregnant youre really vulnerable and so that was made really challenging, she said. Then when you have a newborn, and especially as a woman, its a lot, so you add this on top of just trying to be a new mum or trying to be a newlywed.

The Duchess added: It's not enough to just survive something. Right? That's not the point of life. You've got to thrive, youve got to feel happy and I think I really tried to adopt this British sensibility of a stiff upper lip.

Adjoa Andoh, narrator of The Real Crown, recalled the interview, saying: Meghan has broken the golden rule: never share the secrets of the Royal Family.

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Meghan broke 'golden rule' months before royal exit and has done so ever since - Express

Art by Abby Wilt

Love, and how people show and receive it, comes in many forms.

These acts of love, or loving kindness, reverberates throughout people of different religious beliefs.

We need to grant each other the dignity of difference, we also need to find those things that build bridges between our differences and loving kindness does that, said John Barton, professor of religion and philosophy and director for the Center of Faith and Learning.

A thread Barton said connects world religions is what is known in Christianity as the Golden Rule.

Do unto others as youd have them do unto you, Barton said. Which Christians find in Matthew 7:12, but a version of that is found in Confucianism, Hinduism and Jainism. I mean, its everywhere Sikhism, Bahai, I mean, its just everywhere.

The Golden Rule

Barton said his primary research and teaching area is religious diversity and world religions. Barton published a book, Better Religions, on Oct. 1, about building peace between different religions. He points to the shared belief in the Golden Rule as one way forward.

Confucianism is a school of ideological thought focused on social and cultural etiquette. Confucianism also details expectations for different relationships, and the Golden Rule is at its center.

The Confucian Golden Rule is one of the earliest versions of the Golden Rule, which we find in the teachings of Confucius, which is at least half a millennium before Jesus said it, Barton said.

Confucius writings point toward orderliness in daily and social life, and values universal kindness.

Confucius actually states it in the opposite way that Jesus does, Barton said. Jesus says, Do unto others as youd have them do unto you. Confucius says something like, Dont do to others what you dont want them to do to you.

Daoism also has a version of the Golden Rule, Barton said detailing living without resistance and in harmony with the flow of the cosmos.

From a nonreligious perspective, Barton said Utilitarianism, the most popular religously neutral ethical theory today, has this ethic.

It says we should always act in such a way that brings about the greatest amount of happiness to the greatest number of people, Barton said.

The motivation here, Barton said, might just be evolutionary survival.

And yet, it still provides a connection.

Its not the concept itself, but its the ethic of loving kindness and compassion that I find isnt an essential core, but its a useful overlap that we find in all religions, Barton said. It gives us a platform.

Words of love

Barton said because religions are so diverse, not every religion has an exact one-to-one translation of the word love.

Love is very much a concept that is at home in the Abrahamic religions, Barton said. So Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

Judaism uses chesed is to mean loving kindness, Barton said. Throughout the Hebrew Bible especially in the Psalms people respond to Gods loving kindness with praise.

In Christianity, there is the word agape, which has a core concept of unconditional love, Barton said.

I would say that the Greek concept that we find in the New Testament is a Greek derivation of chesed, the idea of Gods loving kindness that God is a God of loving kindness, unconditional loving kindness, Barton said.

In Islam, Barton said there is taleef a mutual love and commitment to each other as human beings. The word Islam itself is derived from an Arabic word that means peace and solace.

This idea that the foundations of peace is this mutual compassion, mutual mercy, this mutual love that we extend to one another, and thats what God calls people to, Barton said.

Islam is very clear this love should be extended to others, Barton said.

When speaking about the Indian religions Hinduism, Jainism and Buddhism Barton said while there may not be a direct translation for the word love, there is an ethic of loving kindness.

The word karuna is the Sanskrit word for compassion, Barton said. In Hinduism and Jainism, there is the concept of ahimsa, meaning non-harm or nonviolence. These ideas, and the ethic of mercy and compassion, is very similar to the Abrahamic concept of love.

The thing that holds together all the worlds traditions, all the worlds religious traditions, is not as much concepts or ideas about God and the universe or doctrines, but its an ethic, Barton said.

Unconditional love

Serah Hodson, senior and intern for Relationship IQ, said a huge meaning of the word love, for her, is selflessness.

Hodson said she was raised in a nondenominational Protestant church from birth and was steeped in Christianity her entire life before coming to Pepperdine.

As a child, Hodson said her faith was very legalistic and it wasnt until she was 12 that she learned what it meant for God to love her.love her. Hodson said it is still easy for her to fall back into that legalistic lens.

However, when she believes God loves everyone unconditionally, Hodson said her experiences are more holistic.

Then my interactions with other people are not dependent on what they do or the boxes they check or how good I think they are, but dependent on like, I believe that there is something worthy and good in the core of you, Hodson said.

Love, Hodson said, prompts her to make the people around her better she sees this in the context of her interactions with her younger sister and the advice she has given her.

Its really cool to see the ways that Ive poured into her and tried to teach her because I love her now being used [for her] to pour into other people, teach other people, because she loves them, Hodson said.

Love without judgment

Art Professor Yvette Gellis said her husband, Andrew, is Jewish, whereas she was raised Roman Catholic. In her deep relationship with Jesus Christ, Gellis said she learned to love without judgment.

What does matter is the original message of Jesus Christ, which was one of love, and then you start to see that were all connected, everyone, Gellis said. Thats why in an interfaith marriage, it didnt matter. Because we are all connected.

After a month of dating, Gellis said her husband invited her to a Bar Mitzvah. This was her first time attending a Jewish service, and Gellis said her husband showed her how seriously he took his faith, which impressed her.

I saw that he would be a wonderful father, Gellis said. I saw that he would be faithful to me. I saw that he was an honorable man, who had an enormous amount of integrity. And I fell in love. I knew in that moment, I could marry him.

Another month went by and the two went on a camping trip up the face of Yosemite. On the way down, Gellis said Andrew asked her to marry him, to which she replied, Really? She would say yes the third time he asked.

A path to work toward

Junior Eddie Li said for him, love is being generous to people. Growing up in China, Li said he studied Confucianism, which impacted his life.

[Confucius] definitely sees love similar to the way I do, Li said. He definitely doesnt want to stop or delve into a romantic love. His love is a love between relations families, friends between people even people we are not familiar with, with strangers.

A world that practiced love like Confucius would be more peaceful, Li said, because everyone would be content in their love.

Parents, for example, may not often express love to their child verbally, Li said, but rather express it through actions such as cooking.

Love is more continuous, Li said. Kindness can be shown from time to time, but love is pretty consistent. It happens on a regular basis, whereas kindness can be shown to anybody at any time.

Love, Li said, is more of a choice, but people are inclined to love each other.

Confucius will say that you have to love everybody, Li said. But he is demanding that for a sage and that is not something I can attain as a normal human being. But it is a path to work toward.

A platform for peace

The unity of a shared ethic of loving kindness, Barton said, provides a way to connect people who have vastly different lived experiences.

While the one-to-one translation of love may not exist in all religions, Barton said loving kindness does. These joint ethics help people navigate an increasingly globalized world.

While it has been true for thousands of years that this Golden Rule ethic is a thread between and among different religions, that fact is more urgently important in the 21st century than it has ever been, because were living in each others backyards, Barton said.

When preparing for marriage, Gellis said all the priests and rabbis wanted to know was how they would raise their children which Gellis said they never really talked about.

The most important thing, Gellis said, is support for one another.

I will say, its easier if you find someone in your own faith, without a doubt, Gellis said. But if you have that kind of love, you support each other my husband never once didnt support who I was as a person.

Hodson said she uses her knowledge that God loves her as a guidepost when interacting with a faith community where there is a lot of judgment and tradition mixed with social positioning.

Being aware of the image of God in other people allows me to, in a day-to-day kind of way, ignore divisions between people and more like, not ignore, but pick a better thing to focus on, Hodson said.

___________________

Follow Currents Magazine on Twitter: @PeppCurrents and Instagram: @currentsmagazine

Contact Samantha Torre via Twitter (@Sam_t394) or email: sam.torre@pepperdine.edu

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We Are All Connected: Loving One Another in Different Religions - Graphic

If you love or loathe the sometimes-tedious task of going over your writing with a fine-tooth comb to ensure proper grammar, consider yourself in good company. We are an empathetic group of linguaphiles over here with an expert in tow to help navigate AP style updates and maneuver through the changes.

Mignon Fogarty, better known as Grammar Girl of theQuick and Dirty Tips Podcast Network,shared her expertise during a recent Ragan webinar with the nitty-gritty of AP style, including the serial comma, headline style, pronouns and more.

Serial comma

Sure, some of the more hotly contested debates of where you stand with hot dog condiment preferences (ketchup all the way) are akin to writers points of contention that often circle back to whether or not to use the good old serial comma, also called the Oxford comma.

AP style does not use the serial comma in simple lists like red, white and blue. However, its more of a style preference than a hard-fast rule, Fogarty says, though many treat it like a Golden Rule.

There are some reasons to use the serial comma, however mostly when it adds additional clarity.

Do use a serial comma when series elements contain conjunctions.

For example, AP Style would word the following sentence this way: I like peanut butter and jelly, ham and eggs, and macaroni and cheese.

You would use a comma before the and that comes in the last element, Fogarty said. You do this even if one of those items contains an and.

Headlines and numbers

Engaging headlines should be in sentence case and present tense.

When writing headlines, per AP style, capitalize only the first letter of the first word (plus proper nouns) as you would in a standard sentence, minus the period, Fogarty said. Question marks are OK.

When using a colon, the first word after a colon in a headline is capitalized. Side note, in body copy, you only capitalize after the colon if its a proper noun or a complete sentence - otherwise, no capitalization.

Headlines always use Arabic numerals even if the number is the first word (except zero).

Examples of using numbers in headlines: are 7 ways to top a potato and Smith gets 3 years in prison.

This is in contrast to the general rule for body copy, Fogarty said, which is to write out Arabic numerals less than 10 and use Arabic numerals for the rest.

When writing big numbers in headlines, less is often more as millions and billions can be shortened to $5M or $5.5B with a capital M and B and no spaces in between.

Pronouns

Fogarty describes personal pronoun use as an active area of language change, which continue to be updated throughout AP Style as attitudes toward gender change.

For example, it used to be correct to write, zookeepers must protect his animals, defaulting to the male pronoun as default. However, now AP style says its better to rewrite as, zookeepers must protect their animals, using the gender-neutral singular their, or a zookeeper must protect the animals removing the need for a pronoun altogether.

For people who dont identify as male or female, AP allows the singular they but does not use newer pronouns like xe or ze, according to Fogartys presentation.

Fogarty recommends that communicators explain that the person prefers a gender-neutral pronoun while being clear that the terminology does not imply its more than one person.

Sherri Kolade is a writer at Ragan Communications. When she is not with her family, she enjoys watching Alfred Hitchcock-style films, reading and building an authentically curated life that includes more than occasionally finding something deliciously fried. Follow her onLinkedIn. Have a great PR story idea? Email her at sherrik@ragan.com.

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Grammar Girl AP style tips on the Oxford comma, headlines and more - PR Daily

DES MOINES, Iowa Every spring and summer heating and cooling companies around the metro are flooded with calls from customers who after turning on the air conditioner find out that its not working right.

However, with routine maintenance, many problems can be avoided.

Bobby Johnson, a System Engineer and Marketing Director for Golden Rule Plumbing, Heating, Cooling, and Electrical, said that yearly maintenance checks catch problems before they start.

Even if yours works that doesnt mean it will in June or July because you could have a minor issue but thats obviously going to get magnified the hotter we get, Johnson said.

Johnson said that knowing when to get professional help is also important.

If were paying attention to it something doesnt sound quite right we hear a rattle it seems like its struggling or the airflow doesnt seem quite the same whatever it might be in that individual home if youre noticing something different then somethings wrong, Johnson said.

Johnson said that replacing your air filter is an important part of preventative maintenance that doesnt require the help of the pros.

Theres a good portion of the calls that we go to just by being more diligent so theres different versions theres different lengths of time usually if you just have the little one-inch slide-in cardboard filters then just buy the cheap ones and do it every month thats the best for your system, Johnson said.

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How to prevent HVAC havoc this summer - KCAU 9

Earth Day, Saturday, April 22, is the perfect time to practice being a master backyarder, according to the TurfMutt Foundation, which advocates for the care and use of backyards, community parks and other green spaces.

Backyarding is the act of taking activities that we normally do inside, out to our yards and parks, according to the foundation. Master backyarders elevate backyarding, using their personal and community green space for everything from working and exercising to entertaining and relaxing.

Master backyarders also understand the benefits of our yards and other community green spaces to the environment, stated Kris Kiser, foundation president and CEO, in a news release. Every day is Earth Day for master backyarders. They plant for pollinators, know to put the right plant in the right place, and recognize their backyard as an important part of the connected ecosystem.

The foundation encourages everyone to use Earth Day as an opportunity to practice being a master backyarder.

Here are a few tips:

Remember the Golden Rule of Backyarding: Right plant, right place. Putting the right plant in the right place is the key to successful master backyarding. It goes beyond identifying plants that will do better in sun versus shade. Master backyarders select plants that will thrive in their climate zone and work to create a backyard that supports their familys lifestyle. Use the USDAs Plant Hardiness Zone Map at planthardiness.ars.usda.gov/.

Plant with pollinators in mind. Master backyarders understand yards and community parks are an important part of the connected ecosystem, providing food and shelter for pollinators. They plant with birds, bees, butterflies, bats and other creatures in mind.

Water wisely. After getting new plants started, master backyarders only water when necessary. Over-watered grass gets lazy, growing roots in a horizontal pattern. But with less water, grass sends its roots deeper vertically seeking water.

Bone up on backyard benefits. Master backyarders use the outdoors for activities like dining, entertaining, working and even vacationing. For humans, backyarding benefits include lower stress, increased happiness and improved memory. For the health of the planet, green space captures carbon, produces oxygen and prevents runoff.

Watch Lucky Dog on CBS for inspiration. Master backyarders arent too proud to take their backyarding cues from their furry friends. Afterall, no one loves and appreciates yards and green spaces more than dogs. On Earth Day, the foundation will be featured on the CBS show Lucky Dog. This episode highlights the Mulligans Mutt Madness pet adoption event at Equip Exposition, which helps rescue dogs find forever homes.

For more information, visit TurfMutt.com.

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Take the right care of your yard | News | hometownnewsbrevard.com - Hometown News

Simon Cowell has revealed why he reacted how he did after Bruno Tonioli broke a Britain's Got Talent rule.

Britain's Got Talent returned to our screens on Saturday (15 April) and it didn't take long for a golden buzzer to be slammed - so little time, in fact, Ugandan dance act Ghetto Kids hadn't even finished their performance.

In an exclusive interview with Mail Online, Cowell said: "Well, that was pretty quick! It was the second or third day.

"I was laughing my head off thinking, 'You definitely haven't watched the show, have you?' And then I thought, 'Actually, this is brilliant because it has never happened before.'"

Cowell notes no one really seemed to care, neither the act nor him, everyone simply 'happy' because the dance troupe 'really did deserve' the golden buzzer.

Cowell resolves: "And just looking at Bruno's face, he was happy.

"Then when someone ran up to him and said, 'Well, you're supposed to do it at the end,' he was mortified!

"I said, 'It doesn't matter, Bruno. You just gave them the golden buzzer. Who cares?'"

Tonioli explained he'd been watching the act and simply thought the dance troupe was 'genius' and so 'had to press the golden buzzer'.

Although, he reflected: "Now, I hold my hands up, I realise now I was supposed to wait until after they'd performed to press it! I just felt it in my bones and went for it! "

Thankfully for Tonioli, despite his somewhat daunting reputation for being slightly stern, Cowell was 'hysterically laughing' when the Strictly Come Dancing judge turned around realising what he'd done.

"Honestly, I had no idea. Nobody really ever explained that process to me. All I knew was I had a golden buzzer, but they never told me when I was supposed to press it!"

Indeed, Tonioli had not only never been taught the golden buzzer etiquette, but in an interview on Lorraine, the dancer revealed he hasn't ever actually watched BGT before either.

Alongside pressing the gold buzzer during a performance rather than at the end, Tonioli also pressed a red buzzer at the end of the performance rather than while it was taking place.

Luckily for the judge, it was only the variety show's first weekend, so he's got plenty more episodes to get the hang of it.

Link:

Britain's Got Talent: Simon Cowell speaks out after new judge Bruno Tonioli breaks rule on first appearance - LADbible

Amidst the Indian shooters performing in national ranking trials in Bhopal and preparing for upcoming big-ticket tournaments like the Olympics, the International Shooting Sport Federation (ISSF) has once again changed the rules and regulations.

The Olympic qualification season for shooting in Paris 2024 has well and truly started, with some quotas already distributed for the Games next year in France. Nonetheless, the ISSF, the sport's governing body, has opted to experiment with the tournament format once more.

The International Shooting Sport Federation (ISSF) has reverted to the previous competition structure for the finals, abandoning the one-on-one combat for the gold medal introduced last year. The approach used at the Tokyo Olympics is being reintroduced and will be utilised at the World Cup in Baku, Azerbaijan, next month.

The ISSF has now scrapped the format with an additional stage in the finals that pitted the two top scorers for gold medals at World Cups and other prominent events, including the Olympics, and reverted to the old format.

After the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games, the ISSF incorporated an additional stage to the finals to determine the champion in pistol and rifle shooting. But now, it has returned to the original elimination system, with the highest scorer receiving the gold medal. The top two will no longer compete for the gold medal separately.

The modification will be implemented beginning with the ISSF Pistol/Rifle World Cup in Baku (May 815) and will continue through the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris.

This system was in force until the recently concluded ISSF Pistol and Rifle World Cup in Bhopal. The ISSF has made no changes to the qualification phase, in which the top eight scorers advance to the finals.

The ISSF has streamlined the scoring system while also making it easier for viewers to follow the proceedings by modifying the structure for the finals. According to the most recent arrangement, the finals will consist of two series of five match shots for each of the eight finalists.

Shooters and coaches have welcomed the revisions, believing that the former final format rewarded steady shooters while also being interesting for viewers. & quot ;We are shooters, not cricketers; we are used to empty galleries, New rules or old rules, shooters will do what they are there for: shoot."

National rifle coach Joydeep Karmakar said: "In the last couple of years, there have been many changes, but the shooters believe that all we need to do is shoot well. Ill rifle wont change to pistol. We will remain stoic. Theres no major statistical change. We are immune to changes in the rules."

When asked if the changes were applaudable and if spectators would like them, Olympian Karmakar said: "We cant bother about the applause." All we shooters want is to stay focused and perform well. We are not on the spectators bench to understand if it is applaudable for the spectators; we are shooting in the lane. We shooters are not cricketers; we are used to having empty galleries.

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After experimenting with directives, ISSF reinstates the Tokyo Olympics old-golden rule book for Paris 2024 - Free Press Journal

They found fame on Gogglebox ten years ago when their hilarious, often booze-fuelled commentary, made them a favourite with television viewers on the Channel 4 show.

Now Steph and Dom Parker, Inspire's former agony columnists, are celebrating 25 years of marriage.

Here, they reveal the golden rules that have helped them overcome huge emotional hurdles to reach their silver wedding anniversary... and which they believe could work for you, too.

It was on September 12, 1998, in a church in a Kent village, that I married my true love, 'The One'. We were living together within four months of meeting, and I moved countries to be with him. It was a whirlwind of a fairy tale I never regretted (well, maybe once or twice!).

Steph and Dom Parker, Inspire's former agony columnists, are celebrating 25 years of marriage

Over the quarter of a century that followed, we have endured the most unbearable challenges and pain, but also the most fantastically joyous and hilarious moments.

No matter what life has thrown at us, we've overcome it because we are together, and we will always be together. If the Dom I know now was to ask me to marry him, I'd still say 'yes' in a heartbeat...

Why do I believe in 'The One'? - because we're walking, living proof of it. Before that first date with Dom, I was a very independent woman who never needed to be with a man. I had a career I loved, my own money and I sure as hell wasn't going to compromise and settle for just anyone, as I'd seen so many people do.

At 30 I had been in a long-term relationship and was engaged, but I called it off. I couldn't fault the guy - he was lovely - but it just didn't feel right.

Within a day of meeting Dom, he'd totally rocked my world. It was the most natural response; it begged no questions, no argument, no doubt - just this instant connection.

Within a day of meeting Dom, he'd totally rocked my world. It was the most natural response

We'd met fleetingly in our 20s when he was my landlord, but I was with someone else at the time. But he came back into my life and, instantly, he was it: the path I was meant to follow and the man with whom I was meant to be.

After four months I quit my job in Brussels and moved in with him in Kent. I told Dom that if he hadn't decided I was The One after a year, and proposed, then I was off. In true Dom fashion, he waited a year and a day before he got down on one knee.

In our case it's been torrential, with a side order of cyclone. I'd met my Prince Charming, we'd had our fairy-tale wedding, we were comfortably off and for two years everything was magical. Then... boom, Max our son arrived and life was never the same again.

Max, 22, is seriously disabled. [They also have a daughter, 19-year-old Honor.] He is autistic and severely epileptic with the mental capacity of a six-year-old.

But his condition took all the focus off us - it stopped us getting too obsessed with our own relationship and each other; we had much bigger things to worry about.

Max, 22, is seriously disabled. He is autistic and severely epileptic with the mental capacity of a six-year-old. Pictured from the left: Steph, Max, their daughter Honor and Dom

Only 23 per cent of marriages survive bringing up a chronically disabled child, and I'm so proud we're one of them.

But we'd never have got through if we weren't as rock solid as we are. Through each storm we've clung to one other, never let go and refused to let it blow us apart.

Learning the art of compromise will save you a lot of grief in a marriage. I've had to learn to meet Dom halfway, even when, as a proud and stubborn person, I really haven't wanted to.

We have to fight for so much in this life - our job, our finances, our kids, our health - that you don't want to waste precious time bickering.

We laugh like drains most days. The worse the situation, the more important it is to find humour in it

If you find yourselves having a trifling row where you are going back and forwards, tackle it once and for all, say sorry and move past it.

I believe that men can lack emotional intuition sometimes. They seem to bumble through life without noticing things.

Women tend to process things more deeply, while men can be much more basic in their thinking. It took me years to realise this and learn to back down and say sorry for a more peaceful life.

I was a massive sulker, too. It used to take me four days to come round; now it's only four hours. Progress!

At the end of the day, we chose each other, and learning to be gentle and kind to one other is a big part of marriage.

Surviving 25 years of marriage is also down to a deep-rooted respect for myself, as well as Himself.

There are times when I think he's the biggest goof in the world, but that's between us, and I would never put him down in public.

Dom is a gentleman. He holds open the car door for me and he stands up when I leave the table, even when it's just the two of us at home. His respect for me is absolute and lovely. I would never ridicule him in front of friends with a cheap shot.

There are times when I think he's the biggest goof in the world, but that's between us, and I would never put him down in public, says Steph

I can't bear it when I see women put their men down in public, even in a jokey way. I think it's unnecessary and cruel.

We don't argue in public either, it's a social no-no, as it makes the other people uncomfortable. Dom would never deliberately hurt me in public either. When we're out we present a united front against the world.

We have a rule in our marriage that we never throw the word 'divorce' into an argument or make light of it. I think once you mention it, even in jest, it's out there and on the table as a possibility.

Marriage is hard work and it's much easier to quit and throw in the towel then to keep taking the hits, but it lessens you as a human being if you give in.

I'm proud of the fact we're still fighting together. We took our vows before our friends and God, and I have too much respect for them to throw the D word around, however infuriating Dom can be.

I tell Dom I love him every day. It will never not be wonderful to have someone tell you that. But even more importantly, I try to remember to thank him for every act of kindness or selflessness.

Over the past five years I've been quite infirm with one injury after another (including double pneumonia that nearly killed me and a heart infection) and Dom had to care for me. I was mindful of saying 'thank you so much' when he made me a sandwich or brought my phone to me.

Women can be a little quick to notice when their chap doesn't do something - 'when was the last time you...' etc - but we must appreciate the times that they do do things for you.

Mind you, he'll be getting his revenge soon when I'll have to wait on him for six weeks after his upcoming back surgery. He'll be a nightmare. He's already suggested I get him a bell. Not a chance!

Since the day I met her, Steph has felt like my other half. We know each other inside out.

Her overpacking for every trip drives me to distraction, and if I stress too much about her constant lateness I'll have a heart attack. But I love her

Of course, that's not to say we don't drive each other potty. 'I can't hear you!' is one of the most-used phrases in our home.

Steph is convinced I am deaf or have selective hearing when I fail to pick up what she's saying as she tries to speak to me from a different room on a different floor.

Her overpacking for every trip drives me to distraction, and if I stress too much about her constant lateness I'll have a heart attack. But I love her, even though the word 'love' somehow feels inadequate.

What we have transcends love and, whatever it is, needs protecting, feeding and nurturing and hard work. But that's OK, because it's work I'm happy to put in till the day I die.

It was 35 years ago that a young, strong, beautiful woman came into my life and left an instant impact on me. I was a landlord and she came to look at the flat I was renting. I was enchanted - she couldn't have cared less.

Then, years later, a friend started to talk about a girl he knew that I must meet and who would be perfect for me. I wasn't convinced but I agreed to go on the only blind date I've ever had.

Halfway through our evening the penny dropped and we both said: 'Oh my God, it's you!' It was my thunderbolt moment, I knew immediately this was it.

You hear people say 'there's someone for everyone', and, like many, I used to think 'yes, but given the world's population, what's the chance of ever meeting them?' I absolutely believe that, for Steph and me, it was written in the stars, especially as she wasn't even living in the UK by the time we had our date.

When we met ten years earlier, the timing was wrong for us, but fate stepped in to give us a second chance.

Marriage had been a disaster for my parents. I was only six years old when my father walked out. My mother had poor health so I had to assume responsibility from a very young age, doing all the shopping, cleaning and cooking.

Consequently, I grew up believing firmly that marriage was a crock of s*** and not something we were meant to do. I was completely wrong. In fact, a big part of my speech at our wedding was me apologising to my friends for being so rude about marriage.

Other people's experiences are theirs alone. Quite simply, my parents hadn't found the right partner. I did.

As something of a control freak, I'm not the sort who likes surprises, yet Steph has a habit of springing them on me. Every time she announces she's planned something, my immediate reaction is: 'Oh God, what now?'

Learning to relax and relinquish control and leave your comfort zone can lead to the sort of exciting adventures you'd never experience if left to your own devices

Like the time I came home to find a taxi driver sitting in our kitchen drinking tea surrounded by our packed suitcases. Steph had arranged a ten-day trip to Vegas. Flights booked, hotel room reserved, taxis arranged without a word to me. I thought, 'I'm going to hate this', but we had the time of our lives.

Learning to relax and relinquish control and leave your comfort zone can lead to the sort of exciting adventures you'd never experience if left to your own devices.

Steph and I laugh like drains most days, and the worse the situation the more important it is to find humour in it.

At the beginning of this year, we decided to celebrate our 25 years together by going on a trip around the world, just the two of us.

In typical Parker style it went horribly wrong when I badly hurt my back in Mauritius and we had to be repatriated.

I was in agony but we still found time for lots of bladder jokes about me wetting myself! We've been through a lot together, especially with our son, Max, and Steph's poor health, but we always find time to tell funny stories and make inappropriate jokes.

Laughing is a powerful, emotional release, right up there with crying. We got the keys to our hotel, The Salutation, back after our tenants went bankrupt then we went straight into lockdown. Brilliant! Having all the maintenance costs without any guests meant we took a huge financial hit and then it took another two years to sell. But we joked that at least we didn't have to worry about the dusting! Without the laughter we wouldn't have made it.

When we were on Gogglebox people used to remark on how we were often holding hands when we watched TV. It wasn't contrived, it happened quite naturally.

It's something we did from day one and have never stopped. It's the simplest gesture, yet there is something very pure, grounding and comforting about it. We're one unit, co-joined and we reach for each other's hand instinctively.

When I was stranded at our hotel in Mauritius for ten weeks, I noticed the couples who held hands seemed to be happier.

If you already do this, never stop, and if you're not hand-holders then it's never too late to start.

When we were on Gogglebox people used to remark on how we were often holding hands when we watched TV. It wasn't contrived, it happened quite naturally

There are many days when Steph and I are together 24/7. We work and live together, yet some people are horrified by the idea. Why? I married her, I should want to be with her all the time.

Sometimes, you'll hear couples talk about how they're dreading spending a week together on holiday or at Christmas. If that's the case then I'd say you have a problem. It's probably why so many relationships faltered during lockdown.

We can escape each other if we wish, but my private time includes, not excludes, my wife.

When we're apart, I like to know where she is and use the Find My Friends app to check on her. She does the same to me. It's not stalking; we've nothing to hide. My life would fall apart without her and I like to know she's safe.

See more here:

Want to stay married? Gogglebox's Steph and Dom reveal golden ... - Daily Mail

As we move through the Spring holidays towards the summer, we continue our look at bears and spirituality. As part of our mind, body, spirit theme this month we explored possible paths back to spirituality for queer people in general, and then took a deeper look at Queer Judaism with Rabbi David Dunn Bauer last week. This week we turn our eyes towards Christianity with Rev. Dr. Roland Stringfellow, an out gay minister and proud bear.

Rev. Dr. Stringfellow is the Senior Pastor of Metropolitan Community Church Detroit who also works with congregations on LGBTQ inclusion as the Managing Director of the Center for LGBTQ and Gender Studies (CLGS) in Religion on the campus of the Pacific School of Religion.

In addition to that, Rev. Dr. Stringfellow has been consulted by media outlets numerous times regarding his work on marriage equality and religious liberty and the role people of color and communities of faith play in this national debate. He is also affiliates with the Black Bear Brotherhood, Detroit chapter.

Here is what he had to say about queer adults looking to re-examine their relationship with Christianity.

John Hernandez (JH): Is there a path of return for queer people to a religious tradition that may have alienated them as children/ young adults?

Rev. Dr. Roland Stringfellow (RDRS): To travel back to a path of religious practice and community, there first has to be an invitation. I believe there is an internal invitation that comes from the need to have equilibrium in ones life the balance of mind, body, and spirit. This is also known as holistic health. It is good to work out your body for good health, have intellectual pursuits for your mind, but what often goes neglected is the spiritual side. If a person is feeling a disturbance or lack of peace, then this is an internal invitation to seek God once again. There are many Christian congregations that welcome LGBTQ+ individuals to come as their authentic selves. I call it worshipping in Spirit and in Truth. Even if the church of your youth still does not welcome you in your authenticity, finding another community that will is a great way of recovering from the spiritual violence inflicted as a youth.

JH: What LGBTQ+ welcoming Christian congregations you can recommend for queer people?

RDRS: I have been a member of the Metropolitan Community Churches for the past 18 years serving as clergy. The MCC was founded by the Rev. Troy Perry, who was shamed from his pulpit as a Pentecostal preacher. He considered taking his own life but was inspired instead to begin a church in his living room in Los Angeles in 1968 welcoming anyone who wanted to worship as their authentic self. Today, the MCC is a worldwide denomination in over 20 countries (visitmccchurch.com) and practices queer liberation theology and supports human rights globally. Even if there is not an MCC near you, there are many congregations that host their worship services online. My congregation, MCC Detroit, host a hybrid service (both in-person and online) each Sunday.

JH: Is there a need to reconcile your queerness with your religious beliefs?

RDRS: Some may believe there is no need to heal the spiritual violence that was inflicted by the churches of our youth. But just like carrying the burden of any violent act in our bodies and minds, it has a way of keeping us stuck. Spiritual violence is defined as any word or action used to shame or condemn someone in the name of God or a religious community. The natural response is to simply walk away from the hurt or embarrassment. However, healing only comes when we begin to separate those violent words and actions from the unconditional love of God. Our sexual orientation and gender identity and expression are gifts from God given so we may create love and accept others. I believe there are bridges found in the Bible to help queer people in this reconciliation process. One bridge is the story of the Ethiopian Eunuch (Acts 8:26-40) who is a queer character told by the Apostle there is nothing to prevent him from being baptized and accepted by God. The same holds true for people today.

JH: Is it possible to be a solo practitioner of Christianity?

RDRS: It is certainly possible to be a solo practitioner of ones religion, but there is benefit in practicing religion in a community. Going solo helps with the self-introspection and spiritual spring cleaning as I like to refer to it. Asking ourselves, When I rest at night, am I at peace? Do I like/love myself? Identifying the old tapes in our mind that criticize is a good way of doing introspection on a regular spring cleaning basis. Being a member of a spiritual/religious community provides the structure of receiving spiritual truths and the benefits of friendship with others who can give support when going through tough times.

JH: Easter just passed on April 9th. What does the holiday mean to you?

RDRS: Easter is the culmination of all of who we are as human beings. For the Christian, it is Gods promise that all that is wrong in this world and in our lives has a bright ending. The hope of resurrection (what is dead will live again) gives a peace that surpasses our negative circumstances. Easter means that I no longer have to deal with performance anxiety or trying to be good enough to be accepted. Because of my faith in Christs resurrection, God sees me as if I have lived a perfect life. Clearly, I am far from perfect, but in terms of following the Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule or any moral teaching, I am not accepted by keeping these, but by through accepting Christs love for me. I also look forward to the jellybeans!

JH: Is there anything about your work or ministry youd like to share?

RDRS: I began my ministry in 1990 as a pastor in the Baptist church. I was not a preacher on the DL, but I was someone who sincerely tried to change my orientation because I thought it was what God wanted (so I had been told). The more I denied my same-sex attraction, the more horrible I felt until I realized that I never had true peace in my life. I dared to accept myself as gay and that was when the presence of peace filled me. I left that church and enrolled in a theological school where I could study LGBT ministry at the Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley, California. Today I work at PSR as the Managing Director of the Center for LGBTQ and Gender Studies in Religion. We train the next generation of queer theologians and engage in sacred activism with queer religious people to take a public stand for equality.

See more here:

Overcoming Spiritual Violence and Embracing Peace with Rev. Dr ... - Bear World Magazine