Daily Archives: June 22, 2022

This is the latest installment of The Oregonian/OregonLives advice column, Why Tho? by Lizzy Acker. Lizzys advice also appears in our weekly advice newsletter. Want to get it? Subscribe now.

Dear Lizzy,

I am in my twenties and not ready to have kids yet butmaybe someday? Do you have any advice for me for when or if that finally happens? What are your best parenting tips?

Future Parent (Maybe)

Dear Future Parent (Maybe),

Having kids! What a huge and life-altering thing to do! My number one piece of advice is: Dont do it unless you want to. Theres so much pressure everywhere, to have a kid and then to have multiple kids, but its not a requirement for happiness and I dont recommend going into it hoping it adds meaning to your life. Get meaning first and then add a kid when you feel ready to give up many of the things that define you, plus sleep, for several years.

As far as advice for once you have a kid, Im going to go with the golden rule: Treat people, in this case, your babies, like you want to be treated.

What I mean is, babies and kids are tiny geniuses, at least as smart as you. Respect them. As far as turning that into concrete advice, thats a little tricky. Youll find, if you become a parent, that most parents feel like they are being judged constantly, for what they are or arent doing. So take the following with this caveat: These things worked for me and just because someone chooses something different, I am not implying on any level that they are a bad parent.

Here it goes.

Dont assume because babies cant talk yet, that they arent hearing and understanding you. Talk to them constantly. Explain to them what you are doing. Especially explain what you are doing to them.

Remember that the stories they consume, books and television, etc., create their reality. So pick stories that might help them better exist in the world, instead of stories that are made to sell them products.

You can teach babies so much. You can teach them sign language. Its amazing! And I am a huge proponent of at the very least reading about the ideas of infant potty training or elimination communication, which is basically helping babies use a potty at a young age and is the normal practice throughout a lot of the world.

Its mildly controversial (dont force your baby to pee in the potty or berate them if they dont but also dont do that to your toddler) and a little woo-y in the United States but can save you a lot of money on diapers. Honestly, all I did was put my baby on a potty starting at about 10 months with zero expectations while I was going to the bathroom, to give her something to do, because a pandemic was on and I was really surprised by how well she took to it.

You may notice that my advice is very baby-focused since my child is only 2.5 years old. So I asked a few coworkers with older kids for their best advice. Heres what they said:

Know that your kid, even at a young age is WHO THEY ARE! Do not try to make them different. Youll only frustrate yourself at best, and at worst, push your kid away. Open your mind to the person theyre become and enjoy the ride, said a coworker who asked to be referred to as Grumpy old co-worker whos lucky her kid turned out awesome.

Another anonymous coworker who has parented non-babies had this sage advice:

Your primary job as a parent is to support your child(ren) in a way that allows them to become the very best version of themselves. Dont live through them, dont place your expectations on them for the kind of job they should have or who their friends or love interests should be or even if they have them. Embrace them for the individuals they are, figure out how to support them when they need it and get out of their way so they can make their own decisions when they dont.

Your child will look to you to be their world, and that is a huge job that comes with no blueprint. But regardless of your parenting style or whether you work or dont work outside the home or what kind of choices you make about what they can watch or eat, keep in mind that even the most mundane things are shaping who they will be as adults.

You will make mistakes as a parent and youll need to give yourself a break, and sometimes even acknowledge to your kids that you didnt live up to your own expectations as their parent. If they see you modeling resilience and making good choices, its so much more effective than lectures or rules. Be an adult your child can look up to.

I know. It isnt just babies who are geniuses. Its my coworkers too!

In a way, it all boils down to this: Release your expectations. Dont get caught up in a timeline or in the outcome. The most, most important thing? That you love your kid and show it to them. The rest you will figure out.

Good luck (far, far in the future),

Lizzy

Have a burning question? Send me an email at lacker@oregonian.com or tweet @lizzzyacker!

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Why Tho? Heres our very best parenting advice - OregonLive

The recently opened Sportsbook Bar and Grill in Highlands Ranch, Colorado, has a single defining goal: make sure every customer enjoys excellent food, premium service and the ability to watch any sporting event they desire. After experiencing difficulties and frustration with video systems in other restaurants and bars, the owners hired local tech experts Logic Integration to design and install a sophisticated Binary Media-over-IP video distribution system (MoIP) that provides instant control of 40 TVs and a 24ft by 6.5ft 1.5mm pixel pitch Direct-View LED (DVLED) display.

The owners requested a system that was simple to operate, as they wanted any staff member to be able to immediately respond to customer requests without requiring an engineering degree, and without shuffling between dozens of remotes.

Rather than having 40 remotes, staff at Sportsbook Highlands Ranch can now use in-store mobile devices to instantly change the channel on any TV, including the massive DVLED video wall, says Travis Stefl, Logic Integration Lead Engineer. Its a virtually foolproof system that connects 25 rack-mounted video sources to 60 total video displays, with unlimited ability to broadcast one source to all TVs, or to show 25 different channels at once.

The star of the show is the huge DVLED video wall, which is mounted above a booth seating area and is visible from virtually any seat in the house. Logic Integration leveraged the MoIP solution to allow the video wall to be used as a single huge display or to be broken up using 10 available presets, such as a large middle video flanked by two 24 grids to present a total of 17 channels at once. They chose 1.5mm DVLED technology to ensure excellent picture quality for every customer, no matter their viewing distance.

Using the MoIP distribution system also helped keep the system within budget, since it relies on affordable Cat6 cables and requires minimal rack components. The video and controls are routed through a control system that also handles audio distribution, with in-ceiling, pendant and surface-mount speakers used to fit various available locations throughout the restaurant. The main audio source is a guest-operated TouchTunes jukebox, while staff can also broadcast TV audio to the separate inside and outside audio zones when a big game or event is on.

According to Travis, systems of this size and value require protection and monitoring, which led Logic AV to integrate Wattbox power products that offer protection against unstable power and provide remote access to view equipment status. For the networking switches, a Pakedge MS-4424 was installed in the system.

Another key component of this system is the protection we integrated at the rack level, Travis adds. WattBox power conditioners with OvrC remote access provide assurance that all of the expensive audio and video gear always receives clean, consistent power, and that we are automatically alerted to any interruption with push notifications. The OvrC solution allows us to log in and view the real-time status of connected equipment, so we can remotely cycle the power on a unit to troubleshoot minor issues. We have a service contract with the restaurant, and the OvrC remote management helps us respond much faster, and at lower cost, than rolling a truck to the site.

Following the golden rule that the best system is an easy-to-use system, the owners made sure that Logic AV uses exclusively commercial-grade displays, all from a single manufacturer. Prior experiences had taught them that a system using consumer TVs, especially a mix of different brands, can introduce major issues including colour differences, short lifespans, and problems with interoperability and control system integration. While pricing is a little higher, the longer warranties on commercial displays provide long-term peace of mind and reduce daily headaches.

Every part of this solution is designed to deliver an incredible sports bar experience while making staffs jobs easier, says Logic AV Senior Account Manager Scott Collinsworth. The atmosphere here is carefree and fun-loving, and the advanced technology solutions give staff all the tools they need to keep customers coming back week after week.

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Colorado sports bar instantly controls 40 TVs and a 24ft video wall with Binary MoIP - Essential Install

In January 1998, Tom Benson and his fellow NFL owners had just won the Fort Knox equivalent of the Super Bowl.

The league signed off on a blockbuster, $17.6 billion network television contract that would raise the NFLs annual salary cap for players by $10 million to $51.5 million per team.

For several years, Dennis Lauscha, a young CPA with the independent accounting firm of Arthur Andersen, had audited the Saints compliance with the intricacies of the newly installed salary cap. Benson was so impressed with Lauschas work that he asked the 28-year-old, a 1987 graduate of Jesuit High School, to come to work for him.

Bensons chief financial officer, Bruce Broussard, had serious health issues, and Benson wanted Lauscha to learn the CFO job for a year under Broussards careful tutelage and then take over as his top financial officer.

I distinctly remember saying, You know, Mr. Benson, Im relatively young at 28. Would you be comfortable with a 28-year-old being a CFO? Lauscha recalled. And he told me, Look, Dennis, I got my first car dealership at 28. So that made me feel pretty good.

The NFL is big business. There may not be a more important corporate entity to the health of the New Orleans region and the state than the New Orleans Saints, and by addition, the New Orleans Pelicans.

Thats why when Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans in 2005 and there was talk of the Saints never coming back to town, that uncertainty fueled a passionate backlash among surviving fans who were dragging their lifes belongings to the curb.

Despite his early missteps in responding to the disaster, its irrefutable that when Tom Benson made his decision to return to New Orleans, he was all in.

There was a lot of discussion about what the team would do and where we were headed and everything else, Lauscha told a June 7 gathering at Immaculate Conception Church in New Orleans for the churchs Cannonball Conversation series in honor of the Ignatian Year. I distinctly remember him saying, Hey, were going back. Were going back to make a difference. Lets pack up and go. The inference was were going to be a great football team, but first we need to make a difference in our community. He really meant that. It was moving, to be honest with you.

Anyone keeping track of the NFL ledger these days and, by comparison, the NBA ledger understands how unfathomably valuable sports franchises have become. Seven hours after Lauscha spoke at Immaculate Conception, the Denver Broncos announced they had been sold for $4.65 billion the same team previous owner Pat Bowlen paid $78 million for in 1984.

Lauscha, president of both the Saints and the Pelicans, said Gayle Benson, who assumed the ownership role of both franchises following her husbands death in 2018, has embraced and enhanced the core value of good corporate citizenship. Lauscha said the Gayle and Tom Benson Foundation has made nearly $200 million in contributions toschools, hospitals and other charities.

There are literally thousands of organizations we have done something for, and I wish we could do more, Lauscha said. I know Mrs. Benson wishes we could do more. Its been said that she has no heirs. When she passes and lets say a prayer that thats a long time from now all of her assets will be sold and given to charity.

Lauscha is an aficionado of church architecture. In his travels to cities across the world, he visits cathedrals. He and his wife Jennifer were in Seville and walked through Santa Mara de la Sede, the worlds largest cathedral after St. Peters Basilica in Rome and St. Pauls Cathedral in London.

How could a mid-sized port city in Europe have built something on such a large scale, Lauscha thought.

There was a plaque in the back that basically said, Let us build a church so grandiose that those who see it will think we are mad, Lauscha said. We are talking about Seville. Were not talking about Rome or London or Paris. Then I think, hey, it wasnt long ago when New Orleans a mid-sized port city decided it was going to have a vision to be the greatest in the world, and we built the Superdome. How was it that this small town had the vision that those folks in Seville had to see what can be accomplished?

The Saints pay careful attention to their audience. They poll fans each year about their game-day experience and also seek, in a sense, to evangelize by casting a wide net. Lauscha said there are 7 million people living within a reasonable drive of New Orleans all of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and the Florida panhandle. Those living outside the metropolitan area now represent about 35% of ticket sales.

He said there are three things that drive ticket sales: You have to be priced right; the team has to be heading in the right direction; and the fans have to like the players, coaches and owners. Thats it.

The likability factor comes down to personal integrity, which Lauscha said was instilled in him from his time at Jesuit. He mentioned the success of the Pelicans sticking together through injuries and early-season losses to make the playoffs. There were even players, such as Josh Hart and Nickeil Alexander-Walker, who were traded but stayed around that night to attend a game courtside at the Smoothie King Center just to say goodbye to their former teammates.

That kind of bond is virtually unheard of in todays bottom-line professional sports.

That value proposition starts with you, he said. What do I bring to the organization? What do my colleagues, employees and other team members bring to the organization? We always have to be respectful of others. Its amazing what we can accomplish when we realize we dont care who gets the credit.

Among all of those things, even deeper, is a recognition that you must be humble in the eyes of God. It all starts there. If youre not humble there, then the whole value proposition falls apart. We see that in the Ten Commandments, we see that in the Golden Rule, we see that in Jesuit education. It begins with the acknowledgment that everything we do, we do for the greater glory of God. A.M.D.G.

pfinney@clarionherald.org

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Saints, Pelicans have scored points by giving back - Clarion Herald

Death penalty

In response to Death penalty positions in your May 26th issue calling for supreme Court Justices Alito, Thomas, Roberts, Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett to be denied Communion for their stand on the death penalty, I submit that we Read and follow Gods instructions rather than our personal feelings. God places such a high value on Human life that He commands the death penalty for those who murder, (Not to be confused with justifiable killing). In fact, the death penalty is the only commandment that is repeated in all 5 books of the Torah. I think that says something about Gods position on the subject. (Gen 9:5&6; Exodus 21:12-14, 28-29; Leviticus 24:17. 21; Numbers 35:16-21, 29-33; Deuteronomy 19:11-13).

Lee BurkeSt. Margaret Mary, Golden Valley

The possible overturning of Roe V Wade, and giving the abortion decision back to the states, might help us to admit what abortion really is. It is not only torturing and killing living human babies, but also insulting them by calling their deaths Health Care. Honesty is needed. Death should cause, and require, grieving. Pre-born babies are too small and helpless to fight for themselves against the selfishness exhibited by our forgetting or denying where we came from. We need to thank God, and our mothers, and pass on what we have been given: life. The Silver Rule, the other side of the Golden Rule, says, Do not do to others what you would not want done to you.

Catherine CarlsonSt. Peter, Forest Lake

Tags: Abortion reality, Alito, Coney Barrett, Death penalty, Golden Rule, Kavanaugh, Roberts, Silver Rule, Thomas

Category: From Readers

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From readers - June 16, 2022 - TheCatholicSpirit.com - The Catholic Spirit

From the moment you start kicking a ball around as a child, the golden rule is to be able to play with both feet.

Be it for getting out of danger and turning onto your opposite side or spotting a pass that requires the opposite foot, youd think having a weaker foot was illegal in your youth. Seriously.

Unfortunately, though, kicking a ball against a wall with your weaker left peg 100 times a day and driving your mum insane does not actually guarantee a career as a pro footballer. Shambolic, we know.

Truth is, this whole needing to be well balanced and good on both feet idea is actually a big myth. Well, sort of. Let us elaborate.

The beautiful game we know and love hasnt become so endlessly enjoyable through the years by way of watching the very best players perform like robots without weakness. Far from it. The best players are the ones who know their strengths and weaknesses, and play to them as best they can.

Simply put, not everyone can be flawless on both feet. Sure, it would be nice to be a tricky midfielder that can create an angle out of anywhere and ping passes effortlessly off either boot, but its just not realistic. Same goes for the wide players of the world; sometimes constantly cutting inside is the only option.

While you absolutely do need to have some use of your weaker boot to make it to any respectable level in football, there is a category of severely one-footed players who have still managed to reach exceptional heights despite having a notoriously weaker foot.

And today, GIVEMESPORT is listing 12 of the best one-footed players in celebration of us who have to make do with only one half decent foot at grassroots level, in faint hope of still somehow making it pro.

Some of the players in this list are absolutely sublime footballers. So, without further ado, lets get to it.

Nobody can deny just how magnificent a footballer Robertson is, and just how tirelessly he has worked to transform himself into a world class full back despite once being a relegated minnow at Hull City.

Having said that, its a good thing the Scotland internationals left foot is as scrumptious as it is, because hes miles off it when tasked with repeating similar feats on his right.

Now, he might not be there yet in many peoples eyes, but Odegaard can absolutely end up being one of the best one-footed players ever over the course of the next few years, so weve included him.

Arsenals Norwegian creator can look a little clunky by avoiding his right foot, but with how endlessly silky his left is, we cant exactly have a go at him. Odegaard is a delightful player to watch, and glides through the lines at the top level. We back him to fulfil his one-footed potential.

In an era where defenders are required to be more progressive, composed and all of that boring stuff about no longer being a throwback defender, Chiellini has somehow massively outstayed his welcome.

Despite rather obviously having no right foot, the veteran Italian has forged a tremendous legacy for himself as one of Italys greatest defenders. Combining the dark arts with a blend of modernity, his career at the top has been a joy to watch.

Before his leg break against Rangers in 2010, Valencia looked like yet another world class piece of recruitment from Sir Alex Ferguson, blazing down the right wing for United and turning defenders inside out.

However, he was never quite the same following his return. While he enjoyed an illustrious career at United, he lost that ability to beat a marker on either side, and would always do everything he could to fashion angles on his right foot only. Endlessly frustrating to watch.

When in full stride, Dybala and his wand of a left foot can cause havoc for any defence in world football.

Be it threading through a killer ball, bamboozling a marker one vs one, or letting one rip into the top bins with all the finesse in the world, La Joya has a wonderful left peg. Show him onto his right, though, and he looks half the player, unfortunately.

Ah, Vieri. The Italian powerhouse who bulldozed his way to goals no matter the conditions or the club.

An unrelenting eye for goal and a physicality that does not wilt meant that Vieri was always good for a goal, with 23 in 49 caps for Italy. However, it was only his left foot that was capable of finding those world class levels; never the right.

When your right foot is as good as Beckhams was and probably still is you can absolutely get away with not having much to offer from the left peg.

In fact, Beckhams left foot was very good; very good at planting into the floor and making room for his right foot to do something outrageous. A viciously one-footed technician that goes under the radar. Manchester United, Real Madrid, LA Galaxy it was on display worldwide.

Di Maria simply should not have worked as a world class right winger for Real Madrid, with just how often hed shift the ball back onto his left. But alas, he did work, and he made defenders lives hell in his best years.

While he evolved into a much more refined player in his later years, the younger iteration of the Argentine was unleashing crosses from deep in the right flank from near enough exclusively his left peg. Defenders knew what was coming, but they couldnt stop that vicious whip. Neither could goalkeepers.

The man so one-footed that it nearly won him a Puskas Award.

Was Quaresma so good with his right foot that he simply didnt need his left, or so bad with his left that he had to make his right foot so unstoppable to even things out? Well never know for sure, but what we do know is that he had it all. Rabona or outside of the boot, Quaresmas right foot is a menace, and hes proof that one-footed players are just as exciting as two-footed players.

Another with a left foot that was near unstoppable, the general consensus here is that if youve got an absolute wand of a left peg, youll do alright.

Stoichkov winning the 1994 Ballon dOr is a win for all of us who didnt put in the reps against the wall as kids. Skills or goals, El Pistolero could do it all with his left boot, thus he neednt try with his right.

We all knew what he was going to do, every single time. But could any defenders stop him when he was on it? No chance. Robben was a killer, and his left foot was the poison.

Think Di Maria at Real Madrid, but multiply it by ten. Peak Robben was a complete cheat code. Marking him? Good luck. Hell run you wide, square you up and send you packing. Every time. Football heritage.

In the eyes of many, Maradona is the greatest footballer of all time. And you cannot rubbish that opinion. The majestic Argentine really was that incredible.

What makes that feat even more staggering is the fact that he wasnt all that well balanced. In fact, Maradona was heavily left-footed, but that didnt stop him from turning defenders inside out and pulling off moves that very few footballers are capable of repeating. The man was a magician in every sense of the word.

1980 1982 1984 1986

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The 12 greatest one-footed players in football history - GIVEMESPORT

GOLDEN, Colo. (KDVR) Every year tens of thousands of visitors travel to Golden to get a taste of the old west and to cool off in the Clear Creek corridor. On Tuesday, Golden officials held a news conference offering advice to visitors and a stern warning on the dangers of the river.

As temperatures and water levels rise along the Clear Creek corridor so do the number of visitors. According to Golden officials, all ofthat traffic can cause some congestion and safety issues.That has the City of Golden concerned.

Golden City Government, Golden Fire Department, Golden Police and Golden Parks and Recreation gathered creekside for some advice and a warning to the public.

Westart combining alcohol with the congestion on the trail, bikers, things of that nature, and the cold waters of the creek [cause] catastrophic consequences, said Sgt.Ben Salentine of the Golden Police Department.

In addition, the use of alcohol, smoking, vaping, marijuana and the possession of plastic bottles have been banned by the city.

The biggest danger here is the biggest attraction, theClear Creek corridor. Water sports are allowed, but Golden Fire Chief Jerry Stricker answered candidly when asked if he would allow his grandkids to play in the creek.

Absolutely not. Its powerful, its relentless, it is not a lazy river, not a smooth tile or glass-bottom like a pool in a hotel, said Stricker.

The City of Golden has made some adjustments to promote safety on the trails surrounding the creek, and officials highlighted the things you need to know before recreating Tuesday morning. Leaders also discussed how to get alerts if rising creek levels get too dangerous for water sports and recreation.

The golden rule, know before you go, not go before you know.

You can watch the full news conference on FOX31 NOW.

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What you need to know to stay safe on Clear Creek this summer - FOX 31 Denver

>>>>

The above gap is not a mistake. That space is blank to graphically indicate to my readers what silence looks like, and by extension its power. Sometimes called the pregnant pause, white space in a conversation says volumes that do not have to be spoken out loud.

A recent article from MIT Sloan professor Jared Curhan digs a little deeper into the science of why the power of nothing works well. He and his co-authors argue that in fact, silence is often valuable in negotiations. It makes the other side believe that you are of a deliberative mindset. It suggests reflection and authority, when in fact, you may have simply nodded off based on the outrageous demands from the other side.

Curhan found that breakthroughs were more likely to occur after pauses than at any other point in the negotiation. Personally, I use the pause right after the penultimate sentence. And in that way, I make clear that the next sentence really matters. Pay attention, pal, fastball coming high and tight.

We all have a tendency to respond quickly. Curhan says taking a moment of up to three seconds gives both you and your opponent a moment to consider, reflect on and digest the previous sentence. That pause adds to the power of what is unsaid. We all need to resist the desire to quickly indicate how damn smart we are or wish we had. It is called biting your tongue.

The pause also decreases the chance for a loud response (lets call it by its proper name screaming) which normally occurs in a rapid response back and forth interaction. Think road rage. In other words, you need to slow down the conversation. If you hold the gavel, no one else speaks until you do.

If you follow television crime dramas, you will see that the superior, high-status, person in power will often use the long pause to create gravitas and suspense. (After all we have been through, are you really going to kill me?) This is silence as intimidation.

Another type of pause is the deafening pause used when someone steps over the line of accepted behavior (think of a sexist or racist remark). That pause, coupled with a glower, speaks volumes.

And then there is the classic advertisement from Coca-Cola in the 1920s The pause that refreshes. They were selling happiness in a bottle.

Buying some time to think is a rational way to manage the flow of a conversation. In a dialogue that gets contentious, you can always ask for a bio-break or stand up and get a fresh cup of coffee.

Curhans study says, extended silence increases value creation by fostering a more contemplative mindset. The assumption here is that you are truly thinking about the issues and considering the other point of view, (or simply trying to remember if you put on the alarm at the house).

The use of silence has cultural nuances. In Japan, prolonged silences during negotiations are standard practice, Curhan says. In one example he cites, there were 20 minutes of total silence followed by standing up, bowing and nodding in agreement to the terms of the deal.

Managing the length of the pause is a balancing act. Study magicians. They are the masters of timing and misdirection. You wait to see what happens next. They rivet your attention. You cant go any faster than they let you.

Finally, consider another golden rule, He who speaks first, loses, unless you are telling the guy to drop dead and pound sand. In that case, why wait.

Rule No. 718: Never miss a good chance to shut up. Will Rogers

Senturia is a serial entrepreneur who invests in early-stage technology companies. Hear his weekly podcast on innovation and entrepreneurship at http://www.imthereforyoubaby.com. Please email ideas to Neil at neil@blackbirdv.com

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Silence might lead to gold - The San Diego Union-Tribune

Amy McVay Abbott| Indianapolis Star

Indy Pride Parade 2022 sights and sounds

Thousands attend the Indy Pride Parade on Saturday, June 11, 2022, along Mass Ave in Indianapolis.

Mykal McEldowney, Indianapolis Star

My college friend, who would later be the best man atmy wedding,asked me out for a beer just me. I wasnt sure what was up. We usually spent our dollar pitcher nights at Muncie, Indiana'sThe Chug with a group.

He poured me a mug. After a few rounds, my friend blurted out his secret, Im gay, he said. Unsure of how I would react as the most nave of our friends, he chose to tell me alone. I was the last to know.

I started to cry, not because I judged him, but because I knew how the larger world would. I told him I loved him and would always love him. Who he partnered with made no difference to me. I committed to always supporting him.

'Love, freedom, happiness': Business owners speak their truth during LGBTQ Pride Month

He stood boyishly handsome in his gray tuxedo on a beautiful autumn day as I married his dear friend. Decades later, my groom and I are still friends with our Best Man.

So whats the point of this little story? All who are straight and who desire to be allies must start somewhere. I respect that a change in perspective isnt always easy weve been programmed to see the world a certain way from early childhood, if not before. Gender as a dichotomy begins even before a childs birth with pink or blue confetti at a gender-reveal party. The event should be called a sex-reveal event. Science teaches us that gender is on a spectrum.

The reality is that gender is more complicated than sex. Since 2018, the American Academy of Pediatrics has encouraged parents to affirm their childs preferred gender over sex at birth. We must be willing to listen to what advances in science tell us, that sexual organs do not always define gender. Sadly, some people will never accept that.

We all want human connection. Love is what drives us, what we seek more than anything. And I passionately believe, having lived into my seventh decade, that love is love, for the lesbian couple who raised twins who are both wildly successful college students. Or my friend who mourns her partner of thirty-plus years, who died of COVID while her family sat in the hospital parking lot, connected by FaceTime. Or the family whose young child knew they were a different gender. The parents and grandparents support and engage this child, walking in Pride events and raising them with encouragement, not judgment. The world may still be cruel, but this child knows many people love them, and thats foundational to the childs growth and development. Frankly, love and acceptance are foundational for all, no matter our age.

How does it hurt you to accept another human being for who they are? Isnt it ironic that many people are against same-sex marriage when heterosexual marriage doesnt have a stellar history? The CDC reports that heterosexuals have a 42% chance of getting a divorce.

'Celebrate and be together': Indy Pride parade returns in person for first year since 2019

So what can allies do?From GoodRx Health, An ally listens to, believes, and amplifies LGBTQ+ voices. Anyone can be an ally. This includes those outside ofandwithin the LGBTQ+ community.

Isnt it about being kind? Its so simple. Treat a person who is LGBTQ+ the same as we treat any other human. The golden rule principle treating others as we would like to be treated is at the core of many religions and creeds throughout history.

How do you want to be treated? Give back what you want to see from others. Use the correct pronoun and name of a trans person, get out to an event if you are able, support organizations that support the gay community, wear a Pride shirt, fly a rainbow flag, and love and encourage the LGBTQpeople in your life. Happy Pride Month!

Amy McVay Abbott is a journalist and author from southern Indiana. A chapter from her latest book, Centennial Farm Family, won the 2022 Elaine Spires Smith Family History Prize from the Indiana Genealogical Society. The book is available where books are sold.

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How does it hurt you to accept someone for who they are? Here's why I'm an ally - IndyStar