Daily Archives: May 14, 2020

Change is going to be required in our new normal. The more time we spend comparing our lives in the past to our lives going forward the more challenging it will become to move forward. So what can we do to adapt to our new normal and embrace change? The good news is there are a growing number of developments in the brain sciences that show your brain has a remarkable capacity to change and improve over time. Joining us to share how change is possible in the brain is psychologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeleys Greater Good Science Center and New York Times bestselling author, Rick Hanson.

About The Show

Welcome to The Aware Show Health and Mindset Series, join host Lisa Garr as she talks with experts about what life looks like in our new normal, how to embrace and adapt to change, and how to maintain a healthy mind and body.

Today, The Aware Show has an opportunity to be leaders in their own lives especially when it comes to our health. After suffering a traumatic brain injury during a California State Championship Mountain bike race several years ago, Lisa Garr had a near-death experience that transformed her level of consciousness.

This transformation inspired Lisa to build her own media platform about awareness. The Aware Health & Mindset Series features seasoned host, Lisa Garr, interviewing world-renowned experts in preventative health, cutting-edge science, mindfulness, personal empowerment, resilience, and more.

Watch The Aware Health and Mindset Series every weekday day a

#Mindfulness CoVid19 Good Science Center Health Lisa Garr New Normal Rick Hanson The Aware Health and Mindset Series

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Embracing the New Normal with Rick Hanson, Ph.D. - Free Speech TV

The State Treasurer's Office of Economic Empowerment is offering Empowerment Grants to support Massachusetts small businesses amid this spring's coronavirus outbreak.

Grants will be focused on small business owners located in Massachusetts Gateway Cities, including Barnstable. Businesses that are minority-owned, women-owned, veteran-owned, and/or immigrant-owned and have been in business for at least one year are encouraged to apply.

Preference will given to small businesses in industries especially impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, including home cleaning services, personal training/fitness, brick and mortar establishments (excluding chain stores and marketing franchises), and personal care services, such as hair and nail salons.

The application deadline is May 29, and funding decisions will be made by June 12. Complete details are online at http://www.mass.gov.

Transfer Station hours

The Transfer Station and Recycling Center are temporarily closed on Tuesdays and Wednesdays at least through Monday, May 18.

"On the busier days, despite our best attempts, this area does not provide for appropriate social distancing," Supervisor P.J. Kelleher said in a May 4 statement. "These measures are being done to provide a safe environment for our employees and our residents."

These measures create redundancy in staffing and assist in continuing the ability to provide essential services during a time when social and physical distancing are key elements being used to combat COVID-19.

Recycling is not considered an essential service during a State of Emergency; however, the Transfer Station is an essential operation to town residents, Kelleher said. Current sticker holders may continue to utilize the facility to dispose of trash.

Recycling Sticker holders will be limited to disposal of scrap metals, disposal of yard waste, and access to free compost. The acceptance of chargeable recyclable items has been temporarily suspended. These items include but are not limited to mattresses, TVs, white goods, and toilets.

The transfer station office and gate house are closed to the public and all person-to-person transactions suspended. Staff is available to answer phone calls at 508-420-2258.

The Construction & Demolition (C&D) Area will be accepting material with restrictions. All vehicles disposing of C&D material will be required to weigh the material on the scale. The gate attendant will direct the vehicle via intercom on how to proceed.

Payments for C&D material will be accepted by check only. Cash and electronic payments will not be accepted. Check payments may be placed inside a designated box/container at the intercom system. Receipts and weigh slips will not be issued during this time.

The above measures follow the recommended guidance of social and physical distancing and strive to limit the amount of disruption these changes may cause.

Call for public comment

The Town of Barnstable Planning and Development Department is accepting comments on substantial amendments to the Community Development Block Grant (CDBG) 2019 Action Plan and Citizen Participation Plan. A summary of the amendments is posted on the town website: http://www.townofbarnstable.us/departments/cdbg/

The purpose of the amendments is to apply for Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security Act (CARES Act) funding and flexibilities provided to make it easier to use CDBG-CV funds and 2019 and 2020 program year funds for coronavirus response. The town anticipates receiving $168,324 in CDBG Coronavirus (CDBG-CV) funds.

Complying with the flexibilities provided under the Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Securities (CARES) Act the Town will accept comments for a period of not less than five days from this notice.

Please submit comments by email to kathleen.girouard@town.barnstable.ma.us with CDBG Comments in the subject line please. Comments received by May 12 will be considered and included in submission to HUD.

Kent leaves Lions

Chris Kent coached the St. John Paul II boys hockey team to its two most successful seasons in program history. The Lions won their first-ever playoff game during the 2018-19 school year, and for the 2019-20 season set a number of school records, including most wins (17), best regular-season record (17-2-3), most goals scored (127), fewest goals allowed (33), most shutouts in a season (6), best goals against average by a goalie (Gunnar Stevens, 1.38), first season in which one goalie played the entire season (Stevens), and first appearance in a sectional quarterfinal.

Someone new will have to continue Kents legacy, as the school recently announced a search is underway for a new head coach.

Its probably one of the hardest decisions Ive faced in my life, Kent said. The biggest things Im going to miss are the families, the coaches and the kids.

Kent said hes stepping away to focus on his childrens varsity careers. His son Anthony and daughter Cali will both attend Sandwich High School next year, and Kent said coaching at another school would impede his attendance at their games.

I have an older daughter who I watched play field hockey all through high school, and I never missed a game, Kent said. Times flying, and Im getting old. I just want to sit back as a parent and enjoy watching my two kids play.

A coach at the youth and high school level for 25 years, Kent came to JPII as an assistant when Chuck Jancaterino took over the program in 2015. Jancaterino left after the 2017-18 season, at which point Kent took over.

Human rights nominations

The Barnstable County Human Rights Advisory Commission (HRAC) is accepting applications through May 5, 2020 for the Annual Malcolm McDowell Award, named in honor of the noted human rights activist and former member of the Barnstable County Human Rights Commission.

Two graduating members, who have participated in their schools Human Rights Club and the HRAC Human Rights Academy, who demonstrate initiative, leadership, and dedication to improving the human rights atmosphere of Barnstable County and the wider world, will receive a $250 gift certificate.

Alan Milsted, Chair of the HRAC Board said, I am delighted that, although we have had to cancel the Spring session of the Human Rights Academy, we are still able to offer the McDowell Award to students graduating as seniors from high schools or from the Riverview Schools GROW program.

The recipients will be announced on May 10. Application and further details may be found at https://bit.ly/3cQm61I

Construction in Hyannis

Construction is scheduled to begin the week of May 11 at the intersection of Center Spring Streets in Hyannis and is anticipated to take one week. Normal work hours are 7 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Monday through Friday.

Work will involve excavating trenches in the roads, installing sanitary sewer pipes and manholes, backfilling, compacting, and paving. During active construction there will be lane closures or temporary detours with signs and police details to direct traffic past or around the work zones.

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Small business loans, transfer station hours, construction and other Barnstable Town Notes - Barnstable Patriot

May 14, 2020 - The United Way of Westchester and Putnam (UWWP) is working with towns and villages across Putnam County to organize a one-day, drive-thru food drive on Saturday, May 16 to restock hard-hit food pantries.

Residents are urged to drop off non-perishable food items to locations around the county from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

UWWP in partnership with Putnam County has already given out thousands of pounds of food during weekly food drops through the Food Bank of Hudson Valley and other organizations.

"The coronavirus has created great economic hardship for many of our families and our food pantries have been depleted,'' said Tom Gabriel, President and CEO of the United Way of Westchester and Putnam. "We have seen a tremendous outpouring of support and are counting on Putnam County families to continue to step up and help others less fortunate during this crisis.''

Residents can drop off non-perishable food items from 9 a.m. 1 p.m. on Saturday, May 16 at the following locations:

Brewster - Brewster Village Hall, 50 Main Street; (benefitting Putnam CAP and the Brewster Community Food Pantry)

Carmel Putnam County Office Building, 40 Gleneida Ave. (Benefitting Hillside Outreach)

Cold Spring Municipal Parking Lot, Fair St. (benefitting Philipstown Food Pantry)

Kent - Kent Town Hall, 25 Sybils Crossing; (Benefitting Gilead Food Pantry)

Mahopac - Michael Geary Roller Rink, 740 Route 6 (benefitting St. John's Food Pantry)

Patterson - Patterson Town Hall, 1142 Route 311 (benefitting Patterson Presbyterian Food Pantry)

Putnam Valley - PV Senior Center, Town Park Lane (benefitting Putnam Valley Community Food Pantry)

Southeast - Southeast Town Hall, 1360 Route 22 (Benefitting Putnam CAP and Brewster Community Food Pantry)

Some suggested food items include:

Juice (Non-Refrigerated)

Rice

Macaroni & Cheese

Pasta

Spaghetti Sauce

Cereal

Canned Beef Stew

Canned Tuna or Chicken

Diapers (all sizes) / Wipes

Toiletries

Personal Hygiene Products

Paper Products

Cleaning Products

Canned Fruit

Crackers

"By working together we can have a greater impact on the Putnam County residents who need it, but we need the help of the public too," said Gabriel.

Those interested in learning more about the food drive can visit uwwp.org or call 211.

About United Way of Westchester and Putnam

United Way of Westchester and Putnam (UWWP) provides strategic resources and tools to residents in crisis or who are marginalized due to personal or life's circumstances. These include the 2-1-1 helpline, early literacy programming for preschoolers, job skills training and financial empowerment for adults, as well as access to health services.

UWWP is located at 336 Central Park Ave., White Plains, NY 10606. Phone: 914-997-6700 Website: http://www.uwwp.org. Facebook: (www.facebook.com/UnitedWayWP) and Twitter (@UnitedWayWP)

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United Way Organizes Countywide Food Drive in Putnam on Saturday - Patch.com

King Khan aka Shahrukh Khan urges fans to support and encourage the COVID-19 warriors that are working with dedication in the fight against the coronavirus pandemic.

Shahrukh Khan took to twitter and posted a video asking support for the health workers fighting on the frontlines. The caption read, Lets support the brave health officials and medical teams that are leading the fight against the coronavirus by contributing towards supplies and personal protective equipment (PPE). A little help can go a long way. The video was originally posted by Meer Foundation.

Shahrukh Khan and Gauri Khan are enthusiastically working together to provide relief to the daily wage workers as well as helping the healthcare officials in the battle with COVID-19.

Shah Rukh Khan provides 25,000 PPE kits to frontline health workers in Maharashtra

Besides, Shah Rukh Khan has also donatedin PM Cares Fund and Maharashtra CM Fund and contributed to Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) for Healthcare Providers, Ek Saath The Earth Foundation, Roti foundation and Working Peoples Charter. Meer Foundation, used for quarantine centre, also donated to Support for Acid Attack survivors.

Meer Foundation is SRKs Non-Profit Organisation that focuses on the rehabilitation of Acid Attack survivors under the work for Women Empowerment.The Foundation was incorporated in 2013 and aims to affect the change at ground level.

Link:

SRK urges fans to support healthcare officials fighting against COVID-19 through his Meer Foundation - Newsd

PHOTOS COURTESY OF BRIGHDE DOUGHERTY

This story initially appeared onBehind the Whistle,the official blog of the IWLCA, and is being republished with permission from the organization. Brighde Dougherty is a founder and coach for FLOW Self Empowerment.

In January, I had the great fortune to volunteer with World Lacrosse and travel throughout Africa looking to increase player participation and strengthen capabilities of the three member nations hopeful for eventual participation in the Olympic Games. Our role was to coach the sport at the grassroots level, train local coaches and officials, as well as support existing programs where possible.

In 12 flights throughout five countries (Ghana, Rwanda, Uganda, Kenya and Tanzania), we coached over 1,000 athletes, trained over 50 coaches and 20 officials and left equipment in every country. We worked in fishing villages, slums, prisons, boarding schools, high schools, with U-19 teams and met with a Minister of Sport. Some of the children had seen few white people before, let alone lacrosse. Others had traveled to Canada and the United States to represent their country in World Championship events. We saw fledgling programs, grassroots development successes, emerging leaders doing the best they can, but perhaps most importantly, all had a desire for more lacrosse.

Through all these adventures, and so many more, there was one common theme the purity of sport. Regardless of race, gender, socioeconomic status or positions of power, the minute we all stepped on the field, we shared one voice. We all spoke the common language of simply loving to play. In this unified voice of sport, we created a field of laughter where all were welcomed.The goal was to help everyone around you learn, and we were all on the same team. Five to 50-year-old players were equal in the game plan to learn and grow. Communities came together to support one another. Schools embraced the opportunity to use sport for personal growth. For a brief moment in time, all differences disappeared, and self-empowerment was embodied through the opportunity to play lacrosse.

After returning home and finding that preseason quickly morphed into the loss of the 2020 season, I hope that every coach and every athlete who loves our amazing sport can pause for just a moment and remember the reason you fell in love with lacrosse. When you started playing, it wasnt for recruiting, creating and breaking records, or getting on TV, or even winning. Initially, we all fell in love with the sport for the purity of play. For the one voice we all share on the field of being athletes striving to have fun while being our best selves. As we face the challenges that have arisen as a result of COVID-19, both on and off the field, I encourage everyone to remain hopeful that we will eventually come back to the one voice we all share in loving the purity of play embedded within sport.

Live Empowered and Enjoy Lax for Life!

Brighde Dougherty was an All-American lacrosse player at William Smith College and coached collegiately for thirteen years. During this time, she also earned her MA in Leadership, completed a NOLS course and worked with Outward Bound inner-city programs. Doughertyis now the founder and coach for FLOW Self Empowerment through which she uses movement, adventure and sport to foster individual self-confidence and self-leadership for enhanced team performance.

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Behind the Whistle: One Voice, The Purity of Sport - US Lacrosse Magazine

Each of the Too Hot To Handle contestants experienced personal growth in their own way, but some of them matured more than others on the retreat.

(Some cast members are omitted for lack of presence.)

Related:Too Hot to Handle: Chloe Shares Creepy Messages She Got After Show

Harry came onto the show and immediately fell into a romance with bombshell Francesca Farago. But many have questioned the legitimacy of this romance. To start, Harry and Francesca both displayed no respect for Lana's rules. Both contestants pounced on each other at will. Additionally, Harry displayed chicken-like behavior by throwing his romantic interest under the bus after HE initiated a kiss with her. Despite reports that 'Hancesca' seemed to be going steady post-show, now it appears Harry has resumed his playboy behavior. Reports surfaced that he had a secret girlfriend while he and Francesca had split, and there has been a link to Harry to Madison Wyborny. Accordingly, that romance has also ended amid rumors that Harry couldn't stop flirting with other girls. Needless to say, Harry has yet to learn the art of Lana.

Haley was the first contestant to be kicked offToo Hot Too Handle. That should speak volumes towards her personal development in itself. While on the show, Haley was belligerent to all of the other contestants. Well, everyone aside from friend and sidekick Francesca Farago. Her season tipping point occurred when Haley and Francesca hatched a plan to screw the other contestants over by sharing a steamy kiss. Throughout the show, Haley frankly seemed like she didn't want to be there. But it's understandable considering that she is a recent college graduate. In retrospect, Lana should check in on Haley, maybe in 10 years.

Madison entered the show late in the season and never really grasped what the show was all about. She appeared disinterested during the show's female empowerment classes and frankly scoffed at the show's attempt at rehabilitating the contestants. This culminated in her eventual removal from the show. Since then, she appears to have dated Harry briefly. But who could blame her? The casting of Madison was an unbelievably unorganized effort by the show and to expect her to immediately assimilate was downright asinine. Despite this, in hindsight, Madison is a good candidate for a rehabilitation attempt in season two.

Like Madison, Kori was another newcomer late in the show that didn't seem to assimilate. Originally, he began a romantic fling with Chloe Veitch. But fans soon learned Kori's true nature. While leading Chloe on, Kori's real interest proved to be stealing Francesca Farago from supposed friend Harry Jowsey. After this attempt proved unsuccessful, Chloe ended their relationship emotionally. This culminated in Kori being kicked off the show along with fellow castmate Madison. But much like Madison being cast so late in the show, there was little hope for Kori. Although conversely, he may not be the type of personality that can be rehabilitated.

Francesca was the biggest rule-breaker on the show. She committed multiple infractions between contestants Harry and Haley. Additionally, she also had a close call in the shower with contestant Kelz Dyke. After a spat with Harry, she instead pursued contestant Kelz in an obvious attempt to make Harry jealous. She then screwed the group over intentionally by kissing Haley and manipulated the group by blaming the unknown rule break on Sharron and Rhonda. To make matters worse, she also entertained a dinner date with Kori while supposedly in a meaningful romance with Harry. Despite these facts, Francesca did exhibit some instances of self-control as the show progressed. For example, on her dinner date she made the hard choice to reject Kori flat out. She also helped win cash back for the group in an exclusive challenge that tested Harry and Francesca's ability to not touch each other for one night. Needless to say, despite Francesca's mistakes her progress was evident towards the end.

Related: Too Hot To Handle: Francesca Farago Interview

Chloe Veitch came on the show to not have short term romantic flings and ended up having short term romantic flings. Originally, she engaged in a romance with David Birtwistle, but this ended quickly after Chloe realized what she described as "no spark." Next, Chloe fell for newcomer Bryce Hirschberg. Yet again this relationship ended when Chloe wasn't feeling it. Finally, Chloe met her attractive match, show bad boy Kori Sampson. Unfortunately, this relationship ended harshly with Kori attempting to sidestep Chloe to make a run at Francesca. To make matters worse, Chloe appeared to stop liking each of her romantic interests whenever they began showing interest in her. This is what eventually made her so attracted to Kori. He obviously couldn't care less about her. Evidently, Chloe has some other issues that Lana may be not able to address.

Bryce Hirschberg came onto the show and immediately hit on all of the female contestants. He was then subjected to disbelief when he learned that he couldn't hook up with them. But eventually this didn't seem to bother Bryce much. He fell head over heels for contestant Chloe Veitch and seemed to legitimately want to make something more with her. Sadly, his feelings were not reciprocated. Bryce ended the show as a popular contestant but unfortunately with no romances.

Like Bryce, David was also a victim of Chloe's. Originally, the buff Tom Holland doppelganger entered the show and made a pass at Rhonda Paul. Unfortunately he was outfoxed by stud and good friend Sharron Townsend. He then proceeded to settle in for Chloe and seemed to legitimately have feelings for her. But much like Bryce he was immediately rejected soon afterward. For a little while, David seemed to be floundering mid-season. After Sharron and Rhonda seemed to split, David attempted to make a pass at her again. But shortly after he was confronted by Sharron. Seeing that he was overstepping his bounds David made a mature decision to allow his friend's relationship to flourish. He later ended the show with romantic interest Lydia Clyma. Throughout the show, David proved to fans that he is a genuine guy. Most importantly, David showed he is a loyal friend.

Kelz Dyke happily embraced the moniker of the show's accountant. This meant that Kelz refused to give in to any inhibitions that would end up at the group's expense. This was truly tested during his time spent with Francesca. He refused to kiss Francesca when baited and did not indulge in clear motivations during a naked shower session. Unfortunately, Kelz ended the show with no romantic connection after Francesca played him to make Harry jealous. But it is worth noting that many of the cast members looked upon Kelz as a wise big brother. Being a nice guy that genuinely tried to adhere to the rules despite massive temptation is commendable.

Sharron Townsend entered the show with a protective persona. Sharron tried to play off the role of a womanizer, but fans and contestants eventually figured out this is an emotional shield. During the season, Sharron reveals that his past girlfriend had cheated on him with his best friend. Understandably, this experience emotionally scarred him and consequently, he is hesitant to allow his future romances to grow too deep. Initially having shacked up with Rhonda Paul, Sharron was unable to open up with her. This caused a rift in their relationship. But eventually, Sharron is able to make his way through it. After seeing his friend David pursue Rhonda, he realizes he doesn't want to lose her. This epiphany facilitates him to build a deeper relationship with her. In fact, throughout the season Rhonda and Sharron both displayed the most meaningful relationship on the show. Despite committing some severe infractions that ended up costing the group Sharron also vastly progressed emotionally. But most importantly, Sharron's transformation espoused exactly the type of rehabilitation expected by Lana.

Rhonda Paul entered the show arguably the most mature contestant. In her initial interview, unlike other contestants who had made raunchy, cringe-worthy statements, Rhonda instead talked about her personal female empowerment. Throughout the show, she legitimately seemed to work on building a meaningful romantic bond. Rhonda acted as a rock for love interest Sharron. She listened to him and never once reacted emotionally. Rhonda handled every issue in their relationship with reason, poise and maturity. These factors enabled Rhonda to progress the most during the show. She frankly had the most maturity to do so. And at certain points, Lana was rewarding.

Next:Too Hot To Handle: Aussie Harry Jowsey Won A Dating Show In 2018

Jay Cutler Was Reportedly 'Rude' & 'Distant' During Marriage to Kristin Cavallari

Walter Aye is a freelancer based in Bangkok, Thailand where he currently studies Financial Mathematics and holds a TEFL English teaching certification. He is an avid film buff touting directors such as Quentin Tarantino and Martin Scorsese. Additionally, Walter has experience as a Taekwondo black belt and instructor in Tampa, Florida under Master Garry Wayne Dyals.

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Too Hot to Handle: Contestants Who Showed the Most Personal Growth, Ranked - Screen Rant

Awoman wants to be the agent of her own life. She doesnt want to be a victim. She wants to believe she has made choices of her own free will, even when shown evidence that shes been coerced. She prefers to maintain that she was not seduced, manipulated or threatened, that she was an equal player. She is annoyed when her individual circumstances are taken as proof of structural inequality. She may think of herself as an outsider to a certain kind of feminism, to the marketing of self-care, to the relentless insistence on empowerment, transformation, healing and sharing. The thought of posting online with a hashtag repels her. She may have had friendships or relationships with questionable men, but she would take no satisfaction in seeing those men destroyed. (Its hard to muster the ideological purity.) She may stay in touch with the worst people in her life. She may feel embarrassed. She resents being forced to consider her life as if its protagonists were on trial, to offer testimony in the form of an accusation.

My Dark Vanessa begins in late 2017, as a wave of allegations of sexual harassment against men in power is starting to swell. Vanessa Wye is a 32-year-old concierge at a hotel in Portland, Maine, leading a solitary life of squandered potential and heavy drinking. When the book opens she is compulsively monitoring a Facebook post by a woman called Taylor Birch, who has revived an accusation of sexual assault against a former high school teacher. Taylor first made her allegation more than a decade earlier, when she was 14, but this time people are listening. The accused is Jacob Strane, a man with whom Vanessa has had a relationship since she was a 15-year-old schoolgirl and he was her 42-year-old English teacher. Their sexual relationship ended years before, but Strane remains Vanessas most intimate confidant, their relationship the defining one of her life. She phones him to see how hes weathering the allegation and to reassure him that she wont tell her own story. Hes worried that this time its not the first hell lose his job. Paid any attention to the news lately? he asks her. Were living in a different time. I want to tell him hes being overdramatic, that itll be OK so long as hes innocent, but I know hes right, Vanessa thinks.

Taylor Birch has written to Vanessa, encouraging her to speak out, but Vanessa refuses. She thinks of herself not as a victim of abuse but as the protagonist of an illicit romance. She has never talked about Strane with her therapist; she trusts that nobody else will understand. It wasnt about how young I was, not for him, she explains in a summary introduction that primes the reader for a lengthy statement of denial.

Above everything else, he loved my mind. He said I had genius-level emotional intelligence and that I wrote like a prodigy, that he could talk to me, confide in me. Lurking deep within me, he said, was a dark romanticism, the same kind he saw within himself. No one had ever understood that dark part of him until I came along.

Its just my luck, he said, that when I finally find my soulmate, shes 15 years old.

The narrative tacks back and forth between 2017, as the allegations against Strane progress, and 2000, as Vanessa enters her second year at Browick, an expensive boarding school in a small coastal town. She is a loner, from a working-class background in rural Maine, newly estranged from her best friend. An ironic detail: she is given a rape whistle for safety when she moves into her dorm.

An academic adviser encourages her to take up an extracurricular activity, so she joins the creative writing club. Its supervised by Strane, who begins showering her with attention and compliments. He compares her red hair to a maple leaf. He reads her poems. He gives her copies of Sylvia Plaths Ariel (Shes a bit overdone but young women love her) and Emily Dickinsons poems and, eventually, Lolita, which Vanessa all but memorises, reading it as a romance novel. Theres now a whole new context to what were doing, Vanessa writes. What conclusion is there to draw besides the obvious? He is Humbert and I am Dolores.

Vanessa is seduced by Stranes half-baked charisma. He grew up in Butte, Montana, then went to Harvard before becoming a teacher. He lives an apparently friendless and solitary existence, which Vanessa interprets as proof of their shared alienation. He doesnt like dogs; Vanessa loves them but forgives him. He lectures on Walt Whitman and the idea that people contain multitudes and contradictions, and on Robert Frost The Road Not Taken, according to Strane, isnt meant to be a celebration of going against the grain but rather an ironic performance about the futility of choice. They read Edgar Allan Poe, who (Vanessa knows) married his 13-year-old cousin. Strane teaches her the etymology of her name, invented by Jonathan Swift for a pupil 22 years younger than him. Swift once knew a woman named Esther Vanhomrigh, nickname Essa, Strane tells her. He broke her name apart and put it back together as something new Van-Essa became Vanessa. Became you.

The first time Vanessa sneaks out of her dorm to spend the night with him, she takes along a black satin nightie she has stolen from her mothers drawer, but Strane has bought her a pyjama set with strawberries on, which she wears to please him. He lives in a clean and spartan house that he stocks with crisps, ice cream and Cherry Coke. Kate Elizabeth Russell flags up all the warning signs to which Vanessa remains oblivious. Strane goes through a performance of initially asking for her consent the abuser wants to believe that his victim is his knowing co-conspirator only to dispense with all formality. I hope youre not too overwhelmed, he says after raping her. I know he wants the truth, Vanessa reflects,

that I wasnt ready to have sex this way. That it felt forced. But Im not brave enough to say any of this not even that I feel sick to my stomach when I think about him guiding my hand to his penis and dont understand why he didnt stop when I started to cry. That the thought I want to go home ran through my head the entire time we first did it.

I feel fine, I say.

Strane is a crude villain, without the simpering cunning of Humbert Humbert (try to discern the doe in me, trembling in the forest of my own iniquity). Nobody in this book dares crack a joke, and Vanessa has none of Lolitas arch disdain for her captor. My Dark Vanessa is an earnest novel, dedicated to the real-life Dolores Hazes and Vanessa Wyes whose stories have not yet been heard, believed or understood.

Vanessas classmates begin to notice their furtive assignations in Stranes office. One student compiles evidence and a complaint is filed against him. Vanessa takes the fall on his behalf, telling the faculty she was lying when she confided in a couple of classmates about their relationship. The students who filed the complaint are rounded up and Vanessa reads out a statement to a disbelieving audience: I spread lies about him, which he did not deserve. Im sorry for being deceitful. Strane keeps his job and in the years that follow goes on to groom other teenagers. Vanessa gets kicked out of school, but maintains her relationship with him, and never quite finds her footing in the adult world. Meanwhile, in 2017, people close to Vanessa pressure her to address the abuse she has suffered. She keeps telling them theyre mistaken. Russell contrasts the love story Vanessa describes with the abjection of her daily existence: squalid apartments, loveless sexual liaisons, alcohol-soaked inertia. Vanessas awakening to her past subjugation is drawn out to the bitter end. It eventually arrives in therapy, as such things do.

I just really need it to be a love story, she tells her therapist, Ruby. Because if it isnt a love story, then what is it? It is, in the end, a textbook account of an abusive relationship, with symptoms of trauma that range from dissociation to depression. This is a pedagogical novel in more than one sense, a work of fiction that also wants to be a work of reference: here is how an abusive relationship develops between an insecure teenager and a sexual predator; here is why it sometimes takes years for a victim to tell her story; here is how institutions have failed to protect victims of sexual abuse; here is how buried trauma can affect a life. The book is comprehensive and thoroughly researched. Vanessas prolonged insistence that Strane isnt a paedophile paedophile, or that if she agreed to spend the night at his house then it wasnt rape rape, speaks to a wider culture of equivocation. Her eventual acceptance of what really took place banishes ambiguity and affirms the #MeToo movements simple politics of right and wrong. I read it with the sense of duty I reserve for learning about terrible things in the world.

Russell began sketching out the characters in My Dark Vanessa 18 years ago, when she was herself a teenager. She finished the book at the height of the zeitgeist and sold it in 2018 for more than a million dollars. The blurbs from people like Gillian Flynn and Stephen King (stunning, gripping, brilliant) led me to believe I was sitting down to a thriller, but there are no unexpected plot twists here. In a disclaimer, Russell says any similarities with her own upbringing she grew up in Maine and withdrew from a private school for personal reasons should not lead readers to the erroneous conclusion that I am telling the secret history of those events. The book is a work of fiction, she writes, and is informed by critical trauma theory, the pop culture and postfeminism of the early aughts, and my own complicated feelings towards Lolita.

In January, two months before the books release, Wendy C. Ortiz, the Latinx author of a memoir called Excavation (2014), about a sexual relationship with an English teacher that began when she was 13, wrote online that a white woman has written a book that fictionalises a story many people have survived and the book is receiving tremendous backing and promotion. Ortiz described eerie story similarities between My Dark Vanessa and Excavation, but stopped short of accusing Russell of plagiarism, since she refused, on principle, to actually read the book. My Dark Vanessa was quickly dropped as an Oprahs Book Club pick. Perhaps Oprah was exercising caution on account of the controversy surrounding her previous selection, American Dirt (another novel criticised for appropriating trauma for commercial gain). Oprah, who has spoken publicly about the sexual and physical abuse she endured as a child, has probably done more than any other public figure to educate the American public about the power dynamics of such abuse, yet she has recently faced criticism not only for promoting American Dirt but for withdrawing as a producer of a documentary exploring allegations of sexual assault against the entertainment mogul Russell Simmons.

Ortiz wrote that Excavation, which was published by a small press, had been rejected by mainstream publishers, and implied that its reception would have been different if she had been white. I wonder about an industry that wants to pay seven figures for a fictional book about abuse, she wrote. I still see the potential for my book to reach readers it has never been able to reach, but because Ive been kept outside the gates, I dont imagine that reach will ever happen. The American publishing industry does seem to have found a politically correct equivalent of the 19th-century captivity narrative in books about white women escaping sexual trauma, cults and kidnappings, replacing the old racist tropes with a new kind of villain, the sexual predator. Ortizs accusation forced Russell to talk openly about her personal experiences, which earned Ortiz no small amount of criticism for forcing a survivor to out herself in order to prove her right to tell a story. Russell has since told the press that what happens to Vanessa draws in part on her own encounters with older men as a teenager, but has insisted that the actual characters are entirely fictional. I do not believe that we should compel victims to share the details of their personal trauma with the public, she wrote on her website. I have been afraid that opening up about my past would invite inquiry that could be retraumatising, and my publisher tried to protect my boundaries by including a reminder to readers that the novel is fiction.

But the characters arent fictional so much as composites, even archetypes. I suspect many readers will find eerie story similarities between My Dark Vanessa and other works of fiction and non-fiction, or anecdotes of people they know, or their own experiences. As I read the book I thought of the character of Maggie, who tries to hold an abusive high school teacher to account in Three Women, Lisa Taddeos non-fiction book from last year. I thought of the stories recounted in Jon Krakauers Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town. I thought of Oprahs long interview with the men who described being abused by Michael Jackson in Leaving Neverland. (I had no understanding of it being abuse, Wade Robson said. I loved Michael.) I recalled, for the first time in years, an English teacher at my high school who was quietly dismissed amid rumours similar to those that follow Strane.

Russell wrote her novel as the thesis for a doctorate in creative writing at the University of Kansas. Her website lists dozens of books, movies and essays that she referenced, from Kathryn Harrisons 1997 incest memoir The Kiss, to Last Tango in Paris, to the academic study Rape and Resistance by Linda Martn Alcoff. Her novel, bolstered by this bibliography, articulates the contemporary consensus about a subject position: how a survivor like Vanessa must think and feel, the nature of her somatic memories, the pathologies that can accompany trauma. Since this consensus is still fragile and embattled, a work of advocacy cant allow for an exception, and maybe there are no exceptions #BelieveWomen except when they are lying to themselves. But I admit to being disappointed with the way Russell concludes Vanessas narrative. She responds to her delayed enlightenment with a new grace: she makes a peaceful overture to Taylor Birch; she breaks years of silence on the Strane topic with her mother; she opens up to her therapist. But, like Vanessa, I also wanted some recognition that the sort of abuse she suffered doesnt have to define a life completely. I kept returning to an optimistic aside by Jacqueline Rose in her essay on trans narratives in this paper (5 May 2016): Trauma is not pathology but history. If Vanessa had emerged from her experience with her loyalty to Strane intact, it would fly in the face of the accepted evidence; it would have disqualified this book from being the devastating and unsettling novel of the #MeToo era. Instead, Vanessa accepts her status as victim and continues her process of recovery with pet therapy, adopting a pit bull-Weimaraner from a rescue shelter. She calls her Jolene.

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Emily Witt He's Humbert, I'm Dolores LRB 21 May 2020 - London Review of Books

IRVINE, Calif., May 13, 2020 /PRNewswire/ -- Through its Flourish Arbonne Foundation, Arbonne International LLC (Arbonne) is providing youth organizations across the United States, Canada, Australia and the United Kingdom with monetary support and essential resources to underserved youth experiencing homelessness.

The Foundation has raised $196,500 in donations from the Arbonne community, which Arbonne matched to provide $393,000 in monetary grant funding through the Flourish Arbonne Foundation to organizations serving homeless youth. The funds will help provide shelter, food, care and personal supplies to youth who depend on these organizations for a sense of safety and connection to community not just today, but every day.

In addition to the monetary donation, Arbonne has also donated 40,000 product donation packs made up of Arbonne personal care and nutrition products to these organizations. The product donation packs include items such as hand wash, hand lotion, protein bars, and in the U.S., newly manufactured hand sanitizer produced solely for the purpose of being donated. Each youth organization receiving monetary funding from the Foundation is also receiving these product donation packs, as are additional organizations in New Zealand and Poland.

The Flourish Arbonne Foundation is committed to building resilience in the minds of future generations, achieved through its mission to support the mental well-being of youth in the countries in which it operates. Arbonne is compelled to rally to action behind the Foundation in support of the organizations doing extensive work every day to support homeless youth.

"The Arbonne community identified the need to give back in a meaningful way and rallied together to aid homeless youths," said Fabienne Smolinski, SVP Chief People Officer, Sustainability & Social Impact of Arbonne. "As a B Corporation, Arbonne is dedicated to using its business as a force for good in the communities where we live and work."

"We know there are unmet needs developing daily," said Smolinski. "Our goal is to help provide crucial support for as many young people as we can."

The organizations receiving this support include:

About Arbonne International Since 1980, Arbonne International, LLC, has created personal care, beauty and wellness products crafted with plant-based ingredients, and grounded in science and clinical research. Arbonne's philosophy of healthy living to improve Mind. Body. Skin. combined with the entrepreneurial business opportunity fosters a holistic approach, focusing on the whole person to flourish inside and out. The brand core values are empowerment, transparency, and sustainability, with the vision that everyone can flourish by being good to themselves, their community, and the planet. Arbonne is a certified B Corporation, balancing people, planet and profit. Products are available at arbonne.com or through an extensive network of Arbonne Independent Consultants across the world. Arbonne is a privately held company and is headquartered in Irvine, California. For more information, please visit http://www.arbonne.com.

About Flourish Arbonne Foundation The mission of the Flourish Arbonne Foundation is to build resilience in the minds of future generations. Through strategic non-profit partnerships, product donations and volunteer efforts, the Foundation has helped more than 366,000 youth flourish through programs the Foundation supports. The Flourish Arbonne Foundation is a 501(c)(3) charitable non-profit corporation organized under the laws of the State of California. Our Tax ID is 45-5136989. International: The Foundation has charitable status in the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia.

Arbonne is a proud member of the Direct Selling Association. View the Code of Ethics by which Arbonne abides or contact the DSA directly.

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Arbonne Community Donates $393000 In Funding To Youth Organizations - Stockhouse